what about intercaste marriage?

[ravinderdahiya]

aur AUTOMATA ka exam ho aur wo bhi ..suneeta agarwal...ka ya phir Data structures...BDC....to desh bhagti..nahin.....to bhaiya sem ka band baja......aur career ki chinta........

Bhai Grewal saab,
yu kay yaad dua diya Automata, badi mushkil tai bhullya tha iss nightmare nai
mushkilaa paatya tha yu paper.
arr bhai sunn lyoo jo ek bai Automata Theory ke paper mein phass jya na pher na tai uss nein intercaster acchi laggay arr na intracaste.

arr bhai aagay tai tuu issa kaam na kariyee, jab byah ka mahaul hoo tai issay bhunday-2 naam nahi likhyaa kartayy

 

[choudharyneelam]

Very interesting thread...
I also propose something radical here and that being the minimum requirement/qualification to be able to post on this thread should be a fully married status at least!!

To fulfill your this choice i'm out from this discussion as i'm single ...rest my opinions are that i'm never against any kind marriage only if that has taken place with parents concern...whether one get marry in his/her own community or not i never like this thing wrong untill and unless it hurts any sentiments of elders....baaki to main khud bacchi hun to ye baat aapki sahi hai ki badon ko apne views dene chahiyen.

Regards
Neelam

 

[choudharysaaab]

I am not agree with this, that, only elders should reply to this thread. They, of course would be having great great experience regarding this matter, but if you think carefully you will find that their time has gone. These days, in fact here at our pariwar...the JATLAND many people are involved in detailed discussions ( and most of them are youngsters) which may seriously result in so called ~*devoted love*~, they might have fallen in so called *deep love* that, they now, are readily prepared to marry each other...I want to ask for the sack of them...what would happen to their plannings they have done...they would not have gone to ask their experienced parents this kind of love?...most of you elders would give thier this love a name of an internet love...but, in some cases it may not be like this...you know...few of them might have fallen in this seriously...and might become excellent pairs, but, their elder experienced parents would not definitely like them to leave together...they would definitely behave like *prem chopra* ...but...has anybody have solution to this *prevailing* problem of this young generation?...NO...i dont think anybody would have...most of them just have *extra-ordinary* thoughts that are difficult to implement...and would feel proud to dubdue the feelings of these pairs.

If such pairs finaly marry according to their parents' chioce then how could you be so sure that they would love each other with full devotion?...the same boy and/or girl might has already said anybody else *i love you* many times...even they might have passed great time together...may be in some cases more than this...and the same boy and/or girl would express the same type of feelings on the first night or the following day to their ~*new life partner*~..i.e. they love each other very much...it really surprises me...how immediately it can happened in the light of their past they just had before their this *~recent marriage~*? ...so ultimately there is no meaning of their words they have shared before their marriage. I have many examples here from Jatland who are very much conerned about this...but, you know we cant help them anyhow...because their *so called experienced parents and relatives* are not in a mood to understand that this is a life which could be much better to leave with the person they are love in than with a totally strange person.

Say for example, if two persons know each other very well, rather i would say that they are in mood to be together whole life...i must say they want to leave for each other only...then, according to me...their parents at least once should consider theire choices...may be their choice appear better then their with time...their parents should not have that strance ego and useless social stuffs that if their daughter/bor do love marriage it will be a great *kalank, black spot* on them,...that is truely worthless...is is better to carefully think on this matter and should try to judge the pair who are in such a situation.
lekin most of the time i saw that parents/sometime both girl and boy want to marry such a person who is residing in metrocities, doing a great job like IAS/IPS, Doctor, MBA...no matter what he/she would be after 20 years of long job...no matter how much he/she would be personally careful to their life partner...no matter how much each would be faithful and loyal to each other...what is this?...are JAT bhaiyon ...baniya mat bano...think about feeling of you/your children...you could see you children happier then they are after marrying under your pressure...give me answer if somehow the person of parents' choice appears unloyal what would happen with your children...if this is the case...do you think that anybody else from your society would come to help your children?...most of the time in such arranged marriages people ask for dowry...and if the parents become ready to give that dowry...who from your society or relatives would come forward to help you out?...in such marriages...what i see is that ... relatives try to give you a good impression of their know families...this is like we get references from our professors...and, since the parenrts are not in direct contact with the prospective family...be simply have to believe their relatives...they cant say NO or reject their proposal in fact...this dilemma manytimes caused a drastic change the lives of their children...am I making sense here?...i dont know...but...this is not only a matter of intrecast and intracast marriages...is is much more than this...YOU ARE THINKING LIVES AS A PROFESSIONAL MATTER...which is not the case in reality...who suffers...the children...not parents...not relatives...not society...guys do whatever you want, fight for your life...nobody cares here...even in some sense your society and relatives are selfish...they are not concerned about your well being, but are for they relations with some other *known persons*...they sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly do this...but always remember...they dont suffer...only you suffer at the end of the day...you loss the dreams you has been planning from long...if you relate it with success...then my definition would come as...success is not what you get...rather it is to get what you want in life...BECAUSE IT FINALLY GIVES YOU THAT INNER FEELING...which nothing else can give you...

waise byav (shadi) ke baas jo dusara pyaar hota he husband ys wife ke sath me wo mere samajh me nahi aya he...ki...kisi anjan ke sath me tum kaise rah sakte ho...ek din me hi pyaar ho jayega...aur is se pahale 2-3 saal se jis se pyaar tha usko bhool jaoge...ummmm...may be you will have to do (if you cant face it) it under the pressure of bogus social pressure...bekar ki ijjat wijjat...fokat he sab...baki sabki apni ichcha...

 

[monikadahiya]

choudhary saab,

itna kuch likh gaye.. thoda samajh aaya thoda nahi.. tumhari soch se tumhari baaton se hee lagta hai ki u r still a "new kid on the block"... itni bacchkaani/bachhon jaisi soch hai abhi aur baatein itni badi badi... relax karo and enjoy karo life....! enjoy your "hot blooded" years.. and apna yeh rebel pan kaheen aur dikhao toh better hai rather than trying to hurt your parents... who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!! shayad kuch saalon mein samajh jaaoge.. ya fer cambridge mein thode saal reh lo ..pata chal jaayega!! tab tak padhaai kar lo aur madam tussauds and london eye dekho

 

[ritu]

waise byav (shadi) ke baas jo dusara pyaar hota he husband ys wife ke sath me wo mere samajh me nahi aya he...ki...kisi anjan ke sath me tum kaise rah sakte ho...ek din me hi pyaar ho jayega...aur is se pahale 2-3 saal se jis se pyaar tha usko bhool jaoge...ummmm...may be you will have to do (if you cant face it) it under the pressure of bogus social pressure...bekar ki ijjat wijjat...fokat he sab...baki sabki apni ichcha...
ohh kiddo do not waste ur energies and time in discussions like these.its very hard for u to understand these things rt now first grow up and then comment on issus like these.tell me just one thing if love marriage has true love why it sometimes end up in a divorce.so chaudhary sahab its not just love needed to make a marriage successfull there r so many other things .marriage has so much to do with otherthings not only love.love ka kaya saath rahte rahte ho jata h aur os ashiki waale love se better jisme adhiktar dikhava jyada pyar kam hota h.
i myself a great believer of arranged marriages and intracaste marriages.I can not live without speaking hrynavi a single day . today after 11 yrs of marriage when i loook back i feel proud of myself that i trusted my parents and marrried with their choice with in community.
l

 

[choudharysaaab]

choudhary saab,

itna kuch likh gaye.. thoda samajh aaya thoda nahi.. tumhari soch se tumhari baaton se hee lagta hai ki u r still a "new kid on the block"... itni bacchkaani/bachhon jaisi soch hai abhi aur baatein itni badi badi... relax karo and enjoy karo life....! enjoy your "hot blooded" years.. and apna yeh rebel pan kaheen aur dikhao toh better hai rather than trying to hurt your parents... who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!! shayad kuch saalon mein samajh jaaoge.. ya fer cambridge mein thode saal reh lo ..pata chal jaayega!! tab tak padhaai kar lo aur madam tussauds and london eye dekho

Than you very much for your so kind advice, i am delighted...definitely you will not be able to understand whatever i said...are you married?...i dont know...hopefully you are thatswhy you suggested me to live my own...fine.
I know that parents care, but still their are some points some time in life where they fail, this is not a kind of rebel which you targeted about, it is rather like for your kind of married people to understand the feelings of those for whome i am givine support, you know.
I cant agree with you in some respect, and understand what you are talking about, but, i regret that i cant go with you fully...i am sorry monica...ask them you get their love...are their parents hurt?...No...not at all...it is not my bachpana...rather yours...i would suggest you to be careful in long time when you will come accross such situations...

Well, i appreciate these lines "who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!!"...we must be careful about them...then there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...

 

[monikadahiya]

Than you very much for your so kind advice, i am delighted...definitely you will not be able to understand whatever i said...are you married?...i dont know...hopefully you are thatswhy you suggested me to live my own...fine.
I know that parents care, but still their are some points some time in life where they fail, this is not a kind of rebel which you targeted about, it is rather like for your kind of married people to understand the feelings of those for whome i am givine support, you know.
I cant agree with you in some respect, and understand what you are talking about, but, i regret that i cant go with you fully...i am sorry monica...ask them you get their love...are their parents hurt?...No...not at all...it is not my bachpana...rather yours...i would suggest you to be careful in long time when you will come accross such situations...

Well, i appreciate these lines "who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!!"...we must be careful about them...then there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...

Yes chaudhary saab,

I am very much married. aaj teen saal ho gaye hain.. believe it or not har roz it has been a beautiful day. I dont log in to jatland to brag about my (intracaste) marriage, i come here to meet my friends. tumne bulva hee diya toh suno..

aaj after 3 yrs of my arranged marriage, when i look at my hubby at my parents his parents my friends and everyone that we care about and i see that all of us are so happy, it makes me love my hubby 10 times more than i would have if i married a bihari or baniya or whosoever if i saw all my loved ones unhappy (they might have pretended to be happy, magar dil ke kisi kone mein woh hamesha dukhi rehte). u cannot understand the depth of this feeling..

tumhara so called "love" is nothing when compared to this feeling i am talking about.. i would love to call it superduper love or ultra love or whatever ..but it's much better a feeling than loving one dumb looking bihari who ends up getting frustrated at the end of the day when even his parents are unhappy. socho maharaj thoda doosron ke baaren mein socho... woh log kya love ka meaning jaanenge jinko sacrifice ki spelling bhi nahi aati u still have a lot to learn!! and grow obviously..

God bless you!!

 

[choudharysaaab]

waise byav (shadi) ke baas jo dusara pyaar hota he husband ys wife ke sath me wo mere samajh me nahi aya he...ki...kisi anjan ke sath me tum kaise rah sakte ho...ek din me hi pyaar ho jayega...aur is se pahale 2-3 saal se jis se pyaar tha usko bhool jaoge...ummmm...may be you will have to do (if you cant face it) it under the pressure of bogus social pressure...bekar ki ijjat wijjat...fokat he sab...baki sabki apni ichcha...
ohh kiddo do not waste ur energies and time in discussions like these.its very hard for u to understand these things rt now first grow up and then comment on issus like these.tell me just one thing if love marriage has true love why it sometimes end up in a divorce.so chaudhary sahab its not just love needed to make a marriage successfull there r so many other things .marriage has so much to do with otherthings not only love.love ka kaya saath rahte rahte ho jata h aur os ashiki waale love se better jisme adhiktar dikhava jyada pyar kam hota h.
i myself a great believer of arranged marriages and intracaste marriages.I can not live without speaking hrynavi a single day . today after 11 yrs of marriage when i loook back i feel proud of myself that i trusted my parents and marrried with their choice with in community.
l

Fine, well postulated reply to me...thank you ritu.
But, some response will come to you here soon targeting these lines " today after 11 yrs of marriage when i loook back i feel proud of myself that i trusted my parents and marrried with their choice with in community"

but, if i see from your prespective that you married according to your parents desires...thats fine, whetever i said if not for you...in fact that is for those you are in love...probably you had been or not...who knows...dont i even...i dont need know indeed...but, if you look at this time's love phenomenon...it is not like everytime that is a false one...there are many who have done a lot of things for their loved ones...and that, in most of the sense can be judged as done much more then their present husband/wife would have done till now.
you know, ther other side of the coind is that, like for example...imagine...you love somebody...Okay?...then your parenrts agree with your love and happiely marry you with him...now the same guy would do the same things which your presents husband is doing for you...i am sorry...but it is just for take an example for the situation which most of jatlanders are facing these days...not jatlanders but youngsters...it is not like my hot blood ritu...i am 28...i have seen the life and may have different views then a married person...you know...i will definitely go to marry a jatni...but...there are a lot of questions come into my mind when i try to think about this...

can you tell me one thing...you are married...so apne fere liye honge...of course...?...if i rightly remember...there should be 7 *kasams*...i am forgetting the exact name of these...in true sense...these kasams are not takend by you yourself...pandit ji bolte hain...hahaha...tum bas rice ya wheat leke hawan me drop karte ho...i dont understand what you do while marry in such a way...to iska matlab ye ho sakta he na ki you promised to you love with you own words, not single time, but manytimes...it should have more weight then your *rice fenkna on the words of pandit ji*...you are happy because you kept happy you parents and relative, there is nothing more then this ritu...well, i know that there is no end of this discussion...everybody is having different personal views...
achcha ye batao...ki jaha apki shadi hoti he waha ap khush rahane ki koshish karti ho na...to bychance...abhi jo life partner he uski jagah koi aur hota tab?...tab bhi ap khush hoti...so there is no meaning of saying that you are happy with the person...and that is only one made for you...that comes only because you showed your unusual matutity and committed to your parents' wish.

shayad me jyada bol jaunga abhi...i would say that my point is different that intercast and intracast marriages...wo to baat uthi to mene bol diya...bolna chahiye tha mujhe...

 

[ritu]

there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bhai yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugarde te hate me daba pavega.

 

[choudharysaaab]

Yes chaudhary saab,

I am very much married. aaj teen saal ho gaye hain.. believe it or not har roz it has been a beautiful day. I dont log in to jatland to brag about my (intracaste) marriage, i come here to meet my friends. tumne bulva hee diya toh suno..

aaj after 3 yrs of my arranged marriage, when i look at my hubby at my parents his parents my friends and everyone that we care about and i see that all of us are so happy, it makes me love my hubby 10 times more than i would have if i married a bihari or baniya or whosoever if i saw all my loved ones unhappy (they might have pretended to be happy, magar dil ke kisi kone mein woh hamesha dukhi rehte). u cannot understand the depth of this feeling..

tumhara so called "love" is nothing when compared to this feeling i am talking about.. i would love to call it superduper love or ultra love or whatever ..but it's much better a feeling than loving one dumb looking bihari who ends up getting frustrated at the end of the day when even his parents are unhappy. socho maharaj thoda doosron ke baaren mein socho... woh log kya love ka meaning jaanenge jinko sacrifice ki spelling bhi nahi aati u still have a lot to learn!! and grow obviously..

God bless you!!

I was expecting this amazing reply from you. nice to see this

Well, monica, i wish you happy married life!
Dont you think that my response was not related to you?...may be in some manner was...i dont know....
I am talking about biharis...i am talking about jats...here with your own reply you have proved my words that you are happy because your parents and relatives are happy with urranged marriage. Cant we wish for them who are in love so that they transform their love into an arranged marriage finally and which make happy (no pretended happiness...hahaaha) everybody in their family? you know i may suspect your happiness as your pretended happiness.
their is no nothing like this...that is because you did something else and hence cant think about other with the same vision.
whatever you call me, an innocent guy, loafer anything...i would pray for them that they get their love...of course with the permission of their parents...that is my point...me nahi kah raha hoon ki bhag ke shadi karo...haahah...my kah raha hoon ki dono taraf walo do something yaar kuchh karo...

 

[monikadahiya]

there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bahi yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugrde te hate me daba pavega.

naa bebe , hum kit apne ghar aalon se pyar kare sain. . hum te roz ghoose maare sai arr roz bartan udaave sai hawa mein!! mera te belan bhi khoob kaam aave sai other than roti making... ..hahaha

 

[choudharysaaab]

there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bhai yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugarde te hate me daba pavega.

I could not understand haryanvi...sorry...better you translate it...so that i could get what you said...i would be happy to learn from you....

 

[ritu]

hindi me translation.sach me bahut hasi aa rahi h tum par.ek baat batvo bhai ye pyar ka yahi wala pyar hota h.me to sabse jyada apni ma se pyar karte hu oske bad baccha fir pati.bhai aur rishto me bhi pyar pechanana sikh jao kahi galti see aap wala pyar khatm hojaye to charo traf se nafat me na daba pavo apne aap ko.

there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bhai yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugarde te hate me daba pavega.

 

[choudharysaaab]

naa bebe , hum kit apne ghar aalon se pyar kare sain. . hum te roz ghoose maare sai arr roz bartan udaave sai hawa mein!! mera te belan bhi khoob kaam aave sai other than roti making... ..hahaha

Monica, we all love to our parents...they have done much more that they could for us...but it doest not mean that, for love and marriage like issue they simply reject the pair. i want to say that they also should consider them before going for looking for another partner...sabji mandi he kya life partner...ye pasand nahi aya dusara dhoondho...is me ye kami he usme ye kami he...ye suit nahi hua wo suit nahi hua...aur wo bhi within a day...mean ... sometimes...within a single lunch or dinner parents dicide your marriage...lekin if you compare this new guy you know just know him/her for a day...to kya jisko ham saalo se jante he wo bura/buri he?...kayii baar parents aisi arranged marriage me dhokha kha jate hain..but kuchh nahi kar sakte kyon ki fir wahi fokat ki society ki baate ati hain...to fir tum finally bolte ho ki...jina padta he...ji lo...kar lo usi ko pyar...nahi karoge to log khush nahi rahenge...that is your false love to your life partner...i am sorry, it may not be a case with you monica...but may be with others...

something more is coming in my mind right now...it is not reasonable to put this here...i am sorry ... i dont know when next time i will find time to put it...go to the matrimonial section...for both ladka and ladaki...give me answer that ...life partner ke liye...NCR me hona jaroori he kya?...achcha life partner hone ke liye...MBA/doctor/IAS IPS hona jaroori he kya...parents educated hone jaroori he kya...(ham to gaon se uthke yaha pahunch gaye...matlab ham to gadhe hain...hahaah...me hi nahi meri tarah se bahut hain jo gaon se hain...aur bahut achchi positions pe hain abhi...to kaha matter karta he ki life partner NDR ya dilli se ho?)....kha matter karta he ki USA ka ladaka ladaki chahiye...? ye aur kuchh nahi he...sab professional ban rahe ho...parents bhi aur relatives bhi...aurus jhoothi shadi se tum khush hote ho kyon ki tumhare prospective relatives ne un sab conditions ko poora kiya he...aure fir tum ek dusare ke liye committed ho jate ho...tumhare paas me aur koi chara nahi he...shadi ho gayi he pariwar ki jimmewari aa gayii he...to ab karna padega aise hi bas...aur fir pyaar ho jata he ...aur fir bolte ho ki he/she is only the best...funny...

 

[choudharysaaab]

hindi me translation.sach me bahut hasi aa rahi h tum par.ek baat batvo bhai ye pyar ka yahi wala pyar hota h.me to sabse jyada apni ma se pyar karte hu oske bad baccha fir pati.bhai aur rishto me bhi pyar pechanana sikh jao kahi galti see aap wala pyar khatm hojaye to charo traf se nafat me na daba pavo apne aap ko.

Ritu...thank you...remember one thing from me...JO TUMHARE HAIN WO KUCHH BHI KAR LO TUMHARE HI RAHENGE...AUR JO IN SAB BEKAR KI BAATON SE TUMSE NAFRAT KARNE LAGTE HAIN WO NAHI HAIN TUMHARE...AUR NA HI KABHI THE...BAHANA HE YE BAS...AUR KUCHH NAHI HE IS SE JYADA...risto me pyaar in shadiyon se nahi pahachana ja sakta...tumhari jaroorat se unka pyaar pahachana jana chahiye...did i make sanse?...jo tumhari jaroorat me tumhare sath khade hote hain wo tumse pyar karte hain...dusare nahi jo har jagah fingering karte firte hain...may be my experience with life is different then you...anyway...it doesnt matter at all...
aur ye bhi janane ki koshish karo ki yadi aisa koi case hota he to nafarat me dabna ya nahi dabna tumhara kaam he...unka nahi he jo tumse naraj ho gaye hain...wo tumse pyaar karte hote to tumko aur tumhari baat ko samajhne ki koshish karte...naraz hone se kya hota he...ye to jiddipan ho gaya...aur aise log life me kisi bhi mod pe naraz hoke nafrat kar sakte hain...even jamin jaydad ke case me bhi log aisa karte hain...to jao maan lo unki baat bhai...kyon?...okay i have put my views...

 

[ritu]

hemant u r discussing the wrong point in this thread.thread was intercaste vs intra caste and u made it love vs arrange.

 

[choudharysaaab]

hemant u r discussing the wrong point in this thread.thread was intercaste vs intra caste and u made it love vs arrange.

I am sorry, it came suddenly in my mind...i did not want to start new thread for this rather... you know, you can also relate intercast and intracast marriages with love and arrange...indeed, in some cases this may becomse a very good cause for inter-cast marriages...i think this helps...

 

[vpannu]

I am sorry....

Aadarneeya Choudhary Saab,
Suppose you are put in a house with another housemate who doesnt

• speak your language,
• have same family tradition as yours;
• follow you culture.

Now honestly tell me, How comfortably can you spend your life with her? Do you think that she will be assimilated in your family?
Its not just that 2 persons are getting married to each other but in fact 2 different families are tying up together. As it has been said earlier in one of the posts "Sirf apni matt socho, doosro ke liye bhi socho".

...life partner ke liye...NCR me hona jaroori he kya?MBA/doctor/IAS IPS hona jaroori he kya...parents educated hone jaroori he kya.

These things are considered to lay a better foundation for the couple who is going to be married and for the new generation to come.Jaisa beej hoga waise hi pauddha hoga.Paddhe likkhe laayak maa baap ki aulaad bhi to laayak hogi.
Now come to your NCR thing. Some people prefer to find a match close to where they live.So that they can easily/quickly access their son/daughter in case of any emergency or for any other occasion.
So I am going to marry a JATNI (jab time aayega tab ) because I believe that only JATNI can be a perfect life partener for a JAT.
I remember Sprite's advertisement punch line "Dikhaawo pe matt jaao, apni akal lagaao."
PS: Choudhary Saab, if you are interested in learning a bit of Haryanwi you can either consult the dictionary on JATLAND.COM or you are always welcome to ask me anything seriously I would be more than happy to do so.

 

[choudharysaaab]

Aadarneeya Choudhary Saab,
Suppose you are put in a house with another housemate who doesnt

• speak your language,
• have same family tradition as yours;
• follow you culture.

Now honestly tell me, How comfortably can you spend your life with her? Do you think that she will be assimilated in your family?
Its not just that 2 persons are getting married to each other but in fact 2 different families are tying up together. As it has been said earlier in one of the posts "Sirf apni matt socho, doosro ke liye bhi socho".

namsakar namaskar vivek saaab...kaise hain ap?...
i supposed all the things you told me to...jo ap kah rahe ho me usi baat ko bolna chahata hoon...try to think in a different way vivek...Okay...let me try to explain for you...ap shadi karne ja rahe hain...your parents found somebody suitable for you...this means you are going to go for arranged marriage, fine?...then, now ab apki shadi ho jati he...then, the girl comes to your house...where she doesnt speak you language, doesnt have the same family tradition as yours, doesnt know what to do to follow your culture...etc etc..Okay?...now, you honestly tell me how comfortable will be the girl with you...she will have to mix-up with your family, your culture and other things...matlab compromise karegi wo apni ichchhao ke sath me......then, kyon ki uski (ladaki ki) shadi se uske parents khush hain, relatives khush hain, usko lagta he ki sab khush hain...wo kuchh nahi kar sakti he...aur then, hamare social rules usko rokte hain ki ab jo ho gaya wo ho gaya he...there is one for you and this is the one you got in accordance with your relatives...you will have to try to manage with him...Okay?...now, will have to be happy otherwise wo kya karegi...log jeene nahi denge na usko...does it make sense ?...matlab ki...social constraints itne honge ki she cant tell her parents that this and this kind of problems she is facing...aise karne se uske parents ko dukh hoga ki galat ghar me shadi kar di he...which she would not like to do...aur jab usko lagega ki sab khush he us shadi se to fine fine manage karo raho kaise bhi...aur dikhao ki khush he wo naye ghar me aur slowly slowly tumse usko pyaar ho jata he...thats all vivek.

mera point ye nahi tha...mera point ye he ki wo ladaki is arranged marriage se pahale jiske sath me shadi karna chahati thi...yadi uske sath me hi uski shadi dono ghar walo ki khushi se ho jati to shayad wo jyada khush rah pati...

ab jaise baat ati he kiaisi love marriages me divorce ho jaya karte hain...to mujhe batao ki arrange marriage me nahi hote hain kya divorce...? lekin aisi love marriage me divorce nahi honge jisme parents fully khush hain really...lekin yadi parents dil se khush nahi hain to jab kabhi koi baat pe arguments uthenge to ladaki aur ladake ke parents unko divorce lene ke liye promote karenge aur finally divorce ho jata he...me ye kahana chahata hoon ki hamare samaj me parents love marriage ko itna bura kyon mante hain aur aur is baare me bachcho ki khushi ke liye kyon nahi sochte hain...?

These things are considered to lay a better foundation for the couple who is going to be married and for the new generation to come.Jaisa beej hoga waise hi pauddha hoga.Paddhe likkhe laayak maa baap ki aulaad bhi to laayak hogi.

i dont agree with this...pade likhe ma baap ki aulad bhi layak hogi he jaroori nahi he...suppose...apki shadi kisi BTech ladaki se ho jati he...fine? ...aur ab suppose karo ki apki shadi kisi MBA se hui hoti to ap kya compare karoge ki Btech wali ladaki se to apke aulad hogi wo jyada layak hogi? ya fir MBA wali se hoti wo jyada layak hoti?...this doesnt matter vivek...

Now come to your NCR thing. Some people prefer to find a match close to where they live.So that they can easily/quickly access their son/daughter in case of any emergency or for any other occasion.

me is se bhi agree nahi hoon...ha kuch had tak thik he...now as you have said that some people *prefer* to find a match...what is this preference all about?...does it mean that you are not concerned with the person rather with your other preferences?...hmmmmm...other preferences really dominate karte hain...

PS: Choudhary Saab, if you are interested in learning a bit of Haryanwi you can either consult the dictionary on JATLAND.COM or you are always welcome to ask me anything seriously I would be more than happy to do so.

I will be happy to learn haryanvi...but not now...i like it since my last visit to few places at Haryana.

 

[mann123]

Aree bhai Hemant tenne jo karna ho kar ley kyo is thread ki issee tissee kar rya hai.

bateraa time padaa hai sochan kaa ebbe konsa teree umar likad ge.