divorce and kids

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This is probability theory, that 100 % marriages can not be successful. now if both of them or at least one is scarifying his life to save and make the lives good of their children, is a good thing. but , agian this can happened in India only and mostly in arranged marriages. As Neelam said, KHANDAN ki batt and all. But my point is, there is sufficient time to get it clear ( between marriage and having kids). So both should have taken it seriously that after having kids they cant go for such type of action at least for the life of kids. As per statics, middle class record is very good in this aspect, Lower and higher classes r more prone for the same due to there well known reasons.
 
The Time Line:::

ygulia said:
This is one side of the story. Even if we assume that facts are true then she acted too late. It also appears from the fact that it is not the fight for divorce but the fight for property.
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Dear Members,

Having read the article, I am not quite convinced with the story of Mrs. Bimla Devi.

Here are a few questions, those come to my mind:

1. She is 70 and got married in 1955, 53 years earlier i.e. at age 17. That was the normal age girls got married during that period.

2. She got TB after 23 years of marriage. It means that she was 40 years old when she got TB.

3. She was thrown out of her home at 40, got herself treated and came back home, to the very person who threw her out when she needed help.

4. Now she also bears the baby from the same man? Not quite convincing. If she could survive alone without this man when sick, I am sure she was better equipped to survive when fit. Why did she got back to him and did not seek the divorce at that time. She did not even have her daughter at that time, the reason she is mentioning to keep sufferring for all these years.

I think, the facts are half revealed. It may be a good idea to know the otherside of the story.

Bimla Devi needs to be asked all these questions, before she deserves our sympathy.

Some of you may have even more questions to ask. The story of Bimla Devi is not a normal one. To me the truth is much more than what meets the eye.
 
raj2rif said:
An interesting topic, with diverse views. That is the beauty of a complicated issue. Harmony of marriage, and the welfare of children both are equally important and you tend to agree with one side depending upon the perspective you have of the issue.


I think the children would be better of with one parent, rather than with two parents if they are fighting and calling names all the time. It will bring a very poor effect on the children and might make their behavior violent.

.
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choudharyneelam said:
I'm very much satisfied with the replies of Satyepal Sir and Col. Virendra


Yoginder again arriving at some unacceptable points....for that i'll only say....better not to have kids....making their life vulnerable for which they never deserved.....sorry for writing so harsh....why little kids should bear all such nonsense which was already happening before their birth and again i would like to recall Col. Virendra's words....adjustability and acceptability is the best solution
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I am not able to understand your point of view. Whatever I said in plain and staright words, Col Tavathia also reached on the same conclusion but indirectly. It appears that people are not ready to accept the idea/thought easily if someone say it directly in plain simple words.
 
ritu said:
yes gulia ji fight for the property but for who ...her daughter.
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Ritu ji, her daughter is married, why she is worried now. One should react only after going through facts and on hearing stories of both sides.
Decisions taken in haste and with emotions will never give good results.
 
What i realize that MOST OF THE TIMES it feels good to write on topics which one has never experienced and especially the trauma....i'm sure most of the replies are ASSUMPTIONS as NONE of YOU seem to be Divorcee....and most seem to be Unmarried. The topic is good, good intellectual replies too....so far these are not based on experiences. Why this word COMPROMISE is linked with only HUSBAND-WIFE's relationship? and why only a WOMEN is expected to do the tyag/ balidan/ and sawasva daan for HUSBAND? insult karney ki baat aaye to AURAT ka astitva kisi ko dhyan nahi aata aur Compromise ki baat aaye to sab aurat ki taraf dekhney lag jatey hain ki Aurat to mahanta ki moorti hai/ tyag aur balidan ki moorti hai/ Kshma ki Devi hai and sort of balh-blah thats been going on for decades....aur ye moorat-moorat chilla kar usko sahi mein PATHAR ki moorti hi samjha janey laga hai....who is lifeless/emotionless and not expected to EXPRESS EVER.... and no matter how wrong or mischievious the man has been the Women gets the blame for divorce and in most cases when women are forced to sacrifice their education & career for the sake of FAMILY & KIDS....the man suffers not so beautiful syndrome about his wife, gets rid of her and marriages a girl half of his age....while Divorce certainly gives bad effect on growing kids it still is a boon for the complete family, what would the kids feel seeing their father drunk every night abusing and beating their mother? or people still feel that its a good Training as KIDS STILL LEARN HOW TO BE A COMPLETE MAN?
 
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Please excuse me if i'm blunt....agar wapas na aai to "LOG" kehtey waa tai bhajnaaye chave thi arr wapas aagi to nyu ke wapas kyu aayi? Aurat ka to kyukare bi guazara na hai iss samaaj mai....Meri sister ki punjabi tenant apne husband ko peeta karti thi arr dukhi karti thi....mei sister dukhi ho key bolli ke acha thoda laage hai aadmi nai peetan laagri hai. Manne poochya ke aadmi uss nai peete to aacha laagta...kyunki hum habitual hai aurat ki peetayi hote huay dekhney k?
raj2rif said:
Dear Members,

Having read the article, I am not quite convinced with the story of Mrs. Bimla Devi.

Here are a few questions, those come to my mind:

1. She is 70 and got married in 1955, 53 years earlier i.e. at age 17. That was the normal age girls got married during that period.

2. She got TB after 23 years of marriage. It means that she was 40 years old when she got TB.

3. She was thrown out of her home at 40, got herself treated and came back home, to the very person who threw her out when she needed help.

4. Now she also bears the baby from the same man? Not quite convincing. If she could survive alone without this man when sick, I am sure she was better equipped to survive when fit. Why did she got back to him and did not seek the divorce at that time. She did not even have her daughter at that time, the reason she is mentioning to keep sufferring for all these years.

I think, the facts are half revealed. It may be a good idea to know the otherside of the story.

Bimla Devi needs to be asked all these questions, before she deserves our sympathy.

Some of you may have even more questions to ask. The story of Bimla Devi is not a normal one. To me the truth is much more than what meets the eye.
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Dont take it personal bebe! Take it easy!

sunitahooda said:
What i realize that MOST OF THE TIMES it feels good to write on topics which one has never experienced and especially the trauma....i'm sure most of the replies are ASSUMPTIONS as NONE of YOU seem to be Divorcee....and most seem to be Unmarried. The topic is good, good intellectual replies too....so far these are not based on experiences. Why this word COMPROMISE is linked with only HUSBAND-WIFE's relationship? and why only a WOMEN is expected to do the tyag/ balidan/ and sawasva daan for HUSBAND? insult karney ki baat aaye to AURAT ka astitva kisi ko dhyan nahi aata aur Compromise ki baat aaye to sab aurat ki taraf dekhney lag jatey hain ki Aurat to mahanta ki moorti hai/ tyag aur balidan ki moorti hai/ Kshma ki Devi hai and sort of balh-blah thats been going on for decades....aur ye moorat-moorat chilla kar usko sahi mein PATHAR ki moorti hi samjha janey laga hai....who is lifeless/emotionless and not expected to EXPRESS EVER.... and no matter how wrong or mischievious the man has been the Women gets the blame for divorce and in most cases when women are forced to sacrifice their education & career for the sake of FAMILY & KIDS....the man suffers not so beautiful syndrome about his wife, gets rid of her and marriages a girl half of his age....while Divorce certainly gives bad effect on growing kids it still is a boon for the complete family, what would the kids feel seeing their father drunk every night abusing and beating their mother? or people still feel that its a good Training as KIDS STILL LEARN HOW TO BE A COMPLETE MAN?
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I have seen unhappy marriages where wife is constantly fighting with the husband. In this case, the husband was nice but the wife was not. She even disliked her own kids!! The husband didn't want to divorce her as he had kids with her and she was highly educated - a PHD and making good money! He just had a bachelors.
The women was also ugly in appearance.
It is the Indian husband also who can have a passive, accomodating personality and the women a manipulative, scheming personality.
It works both ways. But in majority of cases it is the husband who is the source of friction.
 
pls. dont b gender specific !!!

its pathetic to learn tht folks r giving a gender twist to the subject nd hv started putting forth their biased gender specific viewpoints... tht forces me to try bring an equilibrium on the ensuing conversation... however i rqst folks to exempt me to b gender specific.

the status of conditions of women in indian society is well known. headlines abt atrocities on females, female infanticide, sati, sexual harassment r still predominant in newspapers... i dont wont this subject to be inducted/implicated in the ongoing conversation, however wud like to bring forth one point... every year 1000s of innocent Indian husbands r charged with false DOWRY cases. their innocent parents, young sisters nd mothers r arrested, jailed w/o warrant. sum hv died nd sum hv committed suicide unable to bear injustice. not only tht, based on those false statements, the husband nd his entire family is arrested, put behind bars, made to cough out huge amounts to get a bail nd had no choice but to fight a legal battle in an otherwise defunct and dead judicial outreach. they're also subjected to malicious prosecution. for the charge of dowry harassment being false, the concocted stories of alleged torture would also bear no ground... incidences of all these sorts, wud most appropriately b reckoned as "LEGAL TERRORISM"

pls dont drag the conversation on the same generation old rhetoric... "औरतों पर अत्याचार, औरतों का अस्तित्व...and bla bla bla.

DIVORCE is a cusrse !!! lets admit tht... i wud say, both husband nd wife r responsible... however proportions may differ in individual case(s). eventually nd quite obviously the biggest sufferers in any case r the children. parents, most often forget the interests of their children, the implications on the psyche of a child in order to justify their false pride/ego... or watever... !!! in tht perspective i found sir deshwal's post as most appropriate nd totally away frm any sort of advocacy.
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spdeshwal said:
Considering Kids welfare point of view, divorce is a very very selfish act of the parents. That is what I have experienced this evening. A very sad example of how one parent has poisoned the mind of the young son against another parent.One or both parents become so blind in the pursuit of there revengeful attitude that the impotence of child's welfare and normal development lost completely. In this particular case both parents are Indian. The young son is living with the mother who doesn't allow the father to see his son. Even the grandfather, who his currently here was not allowed to see his grandson. I don't want to pin point the fault but the child is the real loser.
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p.s. : chk out more details on "LEGAL TERRORISM"
http://www.498a.org/contents/letters/Rakshak_MOIA_PBD_07.pdf
 
Husband/Wife buggee ke do pahiye kee tarah hai or eak bhee bugee ka pahiya theek se kaam na kare to bhai bugee na chalne kee. simle bhasa mai yo hee hall husband/wife ka se aur bhai uhh/neech to chaltee rah sei jindgee mai.
Aur wo jindgee kya jisme dhukh na hoon. Ladai bhee hotee hai aur wo tou part of life hai.
 
I used to take it personally too when I got divroced first time. After 5 divorces I have become too used to handling divorce-talk..........

sunitahooda said:
Phool not a single thing that i wrote is personalised....each n everything is GENERALIZED n HARD FACTS OF OUR SOCIETY:)
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coolphool said:
I used to take it personally too when I got divroced first time. After 5 divorces I have become too used to handling divorce-talk..........
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further on the DIVORCE talk... often times biological/physical reasons are also attributed to divorce. ;)
 
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coolphool said:
I used to take it personally too when I got divroced first time. After 5 divorces I have become too used to handling divorce-talk..........
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Let me gain the experience of my palmistry knowledge.:D........can u send me a blue print of ur left and right hand's palms.:p.....i want a subject like u for my research...........;)

BTW..two simple questions...is the first finger beside ur toe is larger or smaller than yr toe ( in both legs)?.......:cool:

How many marriage/romance lines do u have in ur palms....

P.S..It's not a joke dear..plz take it seriously...thanks in advance :)
 
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prashantacmet said:
Let me gain the experience of my palmistry knowledge.:D........can u send me a blue print of ur left and right hand's palms.:p.....i want a subject like u for my research...........;)

BTW..two simple questions...is the first finger beside ur toe is larger or smaller than yr toe ( in both legs)?.......:cool:

How many marriage/romance lines do u have in ur palms....

P.S..It's not a joke dear..plz take it seriously...thanks in advance :)
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bhai ye waali finger badi ya choti hone se kya hota hai ? aur agar ek leg ki badi ho aur ek ki na ho to ....? .....

Hope you will get those desired "hands" .... oops the blueprints of them i meant ....;):p
 
shwetadhaka said:
bhai ye waali finger badi ya choti hone se kya hota hai ? aur agar ek leg ki badi ho aur ek ki na ho to ....? .....

Hope you will get those desired "hands" .... oops the blueprints of them i meant ....;):p
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phool bhai ku hi batayi jaayegi ya baat..........ghanaa swaad mat na le laali bichali main..:p
 
shwetadhaka said:
Maine aisa kuch suna tha kabhi :rolleyes:.... par kya suna tha yaad nahi :o..... bhai swad to manne na ghanaa liya na thoda .... mai to GK badhau thi apni ..... :eek:
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OK....to sun bobbo.....If first finger of someone beside his/her toe is not equal in both legs...for example..one finger is longer tahn toe and other one is smaller than toe....it is barely to balance the marriage life....

In females , if the first finger is larger than toe..she will dominate over her husband.. :p....

bas itna hi kaafi hi...aage mat poochhna...:)
 
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