^^ JATland community mail box ^^

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years,
reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest
room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started
working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon
began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the
president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his
best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also
my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and
then went to flight school
to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so
rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied
in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he
started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his
birthday: A 30,000 square
foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the
fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all
the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were
talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our
sons. ....What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living
dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a
disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son
and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His
birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful
30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the
line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!!!!
 
Bitches 'til the End!

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS .' The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone...'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your a$$ is disconnected.
 
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.

"Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the cop said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
"He said you were speeding!" the old man yelled.

The cop then asked, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman then gave the cop her license.

"I see, you are from Hoshairpur!," the cop said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say??"

The old man replied, "He said he knows you!!" :p
 
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.
Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Tom.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!
 
School life Vs College life.

School: 1 colored dress for 100s of days
College: 100 colored dresses for 1 day

School: 2 note books for 1 subject
College: 1 notebook for all subjects

School: white pipe in teacher's hand (chalk)
Coll: white pipe in student's hand (cigarette)

School: Most frequent letter-Leave letter
College: Most frequent letter - Love letter
 
rakeshsehrawat said:
School: 1 colored dress for 100s of days
College: 100 colored dresses for 1 day

School: 2 note books for 1 subject
College: 1 notebook for all subjects

School: white pipe in teacher's hand (chalk)
Coll: white pipe in student's hand (cigarette)

School: Most frequent letter-Leave letter
College: Most frequent letter - Love letter
Click to expand...

shai baat kh se bhai
 
HELL explained by a science student!!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor shared it with his colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
 
...U'll luv this haryanvi rapppp

folks,

has anybody heard about haryanwi rap genre ? if not, listen to these songs. i'm dead sure if promoted it'll be next big thing in music market nd for sure give run for money to real rap n hip-hop start !!

n'joy nd have a laughter of your life !!!

1. bebot-BLACK_EYED_PEAS-_haryanvi_edition >>> Link - https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=bcaff1babe&view=audio&msgs=12679904daba31e7&attid=0.2&zw

2. AKON_-_I_Wanna_Love_You__Harayanvi_Rap >>> Link - https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=bcaff1babe&view=audio&msgs=12679904daba31e7&attid=0.1&zw
 
brahmtewatia said:
folks,

has anybody heard about haryanwi rap genre ? if not, listen to these songs. i'm dead sure if promoted it'll be next big thing in music market nd for sure give run for money to real rap n hip-hop start !!

n'joy nd have a laughter of your life !!!

1. bebot-BLACK_EYED_PEAS-_haryanvi_edition >>> Link - https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=bcaff1babe&view=audio&msgs=12679904daba31e7&attid=0.2&zw

2. AKON_-_I_Wanna_Love_You__Harayanvi_Rap >>> Link - https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=bcaff1babe&view=audio&msgs=12679904daba31e7&attid=0.1&zw
Click to expand...

Sir, links seem to be incorrect.
(hv heard these songs anyway)
 
.

Bhaisaab, I've already started a thread dedicated to it but strangely not a single reply there. I also sent u the songs on gmail, I guess u here posted the gmail links instead of youtube ones.

Here is the thread anyway: http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?29366-The-Next-Big-Thing-Haryanwi-Rap-!!


Cheers!


brahmtewatia said:
folks,

has anybody heard about haryanwi rap genre ? if not, listen to these songs. i'm dead sure if promoted it'll be next big thing in music market nd for sure give run for money to real rap n hip-hop start !!

n'joy nd have a laughter of your life !!!

1. bebot-BLACK_EYED_PEAS-_haryanvi_edition >>> Link - https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=bcaff1babe&view=audio&msgs=12679904daba31e7&attid=0.2&zw

2. AKON_-_I_Wanna_Love_You__Harayanvi_Rap >>> Link - https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=bcaff1babe&view=audio&msgs=12679904daba31e7&attid=0.1&zw
Click to expand...
 
when the boy was returning after his marriage…he found his wife holding a
small packet;
the boy asked……..whats there in that packet..
Wife replied…..darling this is the secret of my life...pls never open it or
ask me about it further….otherwise our marriage will be in
trouble…………………………………………………………… ………..
The couple spent their days happily……but the boy was very keen to know what
was there in that small packet……
after some days the boy again told……darling after marrying you , i got the
woman of my dream…but tell me what that packet is…….it wll never affect our
relationship…..as i love u more than my life………………..but wife only told that
i also love u more than my life….thats why telling u not to ask about
that……….
After some days wife went to her own house and forgot to take her
packet………then the boy couldn't control himself….and opened that
packet……………………………!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was shocked to open that……..there was 30 rupees……and 2 wheat grains….in
that packet……the boy couldn't understand what it was…and how it could
affect their marriage life………
then when his wife returned …..he burst into laughter…..and told …darling
what is this……and how it could have affected our relationship……..whatever
may be……u have to tell me about the secret…
the wife replied………………………
that's not good……………….any way…….if u have already finalised to know the
secret …..here it…………………
before marriage ..each time i made love with any guy…i put a wheat grain in
that packet to realise that i have done a mistake…….……
the boy saw those two wheat grains….and after waiting for two minutes
told…..……….. Its ok……everybody makes mistake …….
I still love u because u told me the truth…….. But what is that 30
rupees……………………………… the wife replied…..the boy fainted……………………
-
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_

_
_
_
the wife said……i have sold 2 kg wheat at a rate rs 15 per kg……………..!!!!!!!!!
 
akshaymalik84 said:
when the boy was returning after his marriage…he found his wife holding a
small packet;
the boy asked……..whats there in that packet..
Wife replied…..darling this is the secret of my life...pls never open it or
ask me about it further….otherwise our marriage will be in
trouble…………………………………………………………… ………..
The couple spent their days happily……but the boy was very keen to know what
was there in that small packet……
after some days the boy again told……darling after marrying you , i got the
woman of my dream…but tell me what that packet is…….it wll never affect our
relationship…..as i love u more than my life………………..but wife only told that
i also love u more than my life….thats why telling u not to ask about
that……….
After some days wife went to her own house and forgot to take her
packet………then the boy couldn't control himself….and opened that
packet……………………………!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was shocked to open that……..there was 30 rupees……and 2 wheat grains….in
that packet……the boy couldn't understand what it was…and how it could
affect their marriage life………
then when his wife returned …..he burst into laughter…..and told …darling
what is this……and how it could have affected our relationship……..whatever
may be……u have to tell me about the secret…
the wife replied………………………
that's not good……………….any way…….if u have already finalised to know the
secret …..here it…………………
before marriage ..each time i made love with any guy…i put a wheat grain in
that packet to realise that i have done a mistake…….……
the boy saw those two wheat grains….and after waiting for two minutes
told…..……….. Its ok……everybody makes mistake …….
I still love u because u told me the truth…….. But what is that 30
rupees……………………………… the wife replied…..the boy fainted……………………
-
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_

_
_
_
the wife said……i have sold 2 kg wheat at a rate rs 15 per kg……………..!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

हा...हा...हा...यो ठाया धुम्मा. अर वे 2 दाने भी गैल्ला ही तोल देने थे, पर मन्नै लाग्गै वे 2 दाने 2 किलो गेहूं बेचन के बाद आए.
बढ़िया.
 
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