No honour, only killings
Alok Tiwari, 21 June 2010, 11:20 AM IST
Like the scourges of dowry and female foeticide a generation ago, honour killings seem to be spreading to newer areas. They appear to be leaving a countrywide footprint, as if angry conscience keepers of Indian families have suddenly discovered a new way of keeping things under the lid. Not very long ago, we thought such barbarism belonged to remote tribal reaches of Pakistan. We now know it is very much at home in the Indian middle class.
Many of us are plainly baffled by the phenomenon. This is so much at odds with the new India that we hope and dream about. At one end of the social spectrum, we have not just intercaste or intercommunity but also inter-religion marriages being accepted as normal. At the other end we have parents and relatives poisoning, hacking, and burning alive youngsters because they married on their own, in the name of family honour.
But is it actually for the sake of family honour? I doubt. Is family honour compromised only when a youngster marries outside the caste? There are indeed a number of things held dear by traditional Indian family that individuals go against. For example, most of us swear by honesty. But no one has ever heard of a parent setting his son on fire because he turned out to be a corrupt government servant. Indeed, families have rallied to protect their own even when a member has been publicly exposed, arrested, and charged for demanding and accepting bribes. In a country having scams galore from national to local level, isn’t it amazing that there has been no killing to wipe away the blot of corruption?
Similarly, our obsession with sexual abstinence borders on prudery. Yet, there is no accompanying outrage when we find even minor girls being subjected to sexual abuse within families. There have been numerous reports of fathers setting themselves upon their daughters. The best even outraged mothers have done faced with this monstrosity is to report the culprit to the police.
Finally, how khap panchayats have ruled against politicians from community who did not keep their word? Isn’t the community honour compromised when a leader, after having asked for votes in the name of caste, turns his back on it. What when such a politicians defects to another party and otherwise behaves in a manner that leaves his voters wringing their hands in frustration. One doesn’t remember a panchayat turning family of such a person out of the village or sending murderous mobs to lynch him.
The fact is, what we are seeing are not honour killings at all. To even call them that is to lend them a measure of respectability. It implies such despicable behaviour by someone as to smear the family name irretrievably. These are murders to defend an old order that has nothing but contempt for individual freedom.
The sentiment that makes a parent poison her daughter is same as one that makes a principal thrash a student - the rage at seeing someone they believe should be in their control act independently. We support our children well into their adulthood. All we want in return is their freedom. It enrages us to see them take decisions on their own, especially decisions that we do not approve of. These killings are not going away until we give up our control mania and bring in more individual liberties in our homes.
Well Balanced and Thought Provoking Article : Specifically for those who support so called "honour" killing
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:rock:boxing
