Live in relationships ..?
- Thread starter ravinderpannu
- Start date
urmiladuhan
New member
V P Singh Jee, when comparing a marriage to insurance, you are talking about registered marriage only. What about those marriages that are not registered - they should be called live in relationship too. Those marriages that don't have documentary evidence in their support such as those of our fore fathers 2 or more generations removed.
urmiladuhan
New member
Marriages, irrespective of whether they are registered or not, do not run on paperwork. A complete paperwork does not mean the marriage is successful. A registered marriage only ensures that in case of divorce, property/valuables shall be divided fairly and sqarely between the two individuals and the resultant children shall have a right to their parents property. Actually, for inheriting the father's name too, marriage is not required. The two individuals who are not married can register themselves as parents of their children without having to be married first.
In the above scenario, the purpose of marriage, in my opinion, is to increase societal bonding through forming relationship with in-laws which is good for children and all individuals.
Urmila ji, I have compared those marriages to insurance which do not have social sanctity. As for the marriages of our fore fathers, such marriages used to enjoy social recognition invariably. Hence, even if there was no provision of registration there was an unwritten approval from the society as these marriages used to be duly solemnized with the consent of family elders and the society as a whole in full public view. In case of any dispute, the elders of family used to provide a shield to the victim and punish the guilty.
Even if the modern boys and girls want to have their own way in conjugal matters, the sanctity of the sacred bonding between a man and a woman should not be allowed to be undermined just for the sensual gratification. Fair enough, the modern girl may not like to have any association with boy's parents or the extended family for the sake of her comfort, but, some sort of social or legal guarantee has to be there to safeguard her against the potential pitfalls.
urmiladuhan
New member
That safegaurd is her education, her financial independence. It is a must for both te girl and the boy before they take a decision to take matters in their own hands.
You write: Fair enough, the modern girl may not like to have any association with boy's parents or the extended family for the sake of her comfort.
Reply: The same applies to the not so modern boy as well - he may not like to have any association with the girls parents or her extended family. I have seen so many instances where the boy hardly ever visits his sasural (in-laws place)- happens more with a traditional mindset.
urmiladuhan
New member
You are very right why those marriages worked- due to people caring for each others families throughout their lives - resulting in a Joint Family system. But this system is failing now. The real purpose of marriage as per Indian traditions is to "gel' with elders and other people who are not related "blood wise " to the people getting married. Only then, the marriage was succesful then. These days, people get married through the intervention of elders and family (arranged marriage) i.e., to get social sanctity/certification, but pretty soon, they leave their elders and family i.e., don't care for them in sickness or in health. I say such people end up living a miserable life in the absence of a social support system of an extended family, especially when their own children emulate them and don't care for them in their old age.
These days people getting married are simply using the age old system of arranged marriage for their benefit (getting mates) only forgetting that they have a responsibility towards the traditional system as well if they are using the system to get mates.
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urmiladuhan
New member
How many people using an arranged marriage for their benefit understand the real purpose of an arranged marriage? For many, this is the only way for them to have a mate (used in biological sense), hence they go in for an arranged marriage as they don't have any other choice.
Arranged marriage has many other components that the two individuals getting married must fulfil i.e., responsibility towards society- which they are not doing. The result - an uncohesive society as we all are seeing today.
urmiladuhan
New member
Ask any elder and the likely response from him/her: Bahu/betae teh kimmae na kartae mahra. Byahae paachae koon kiska karae s.
This is the arranged marriage scene!!!! Shameful.
prashantacmet
New member
hahhhaa.....sahi kahi VP ji...aur thuki hui gaadi jaldi se doosra koi lena pasand nahi karta..uski market valure gir jaati hai
urmiladuhan
New member
Consider yourself out of the que for foreign (read western) women!
rakeshsehrawat
New member
are parshant tu consider kar rehya tha?
urmiladuhan
New member
Seeing his mindset, he stands rejected whether he has applied or not!
rakeshsehrawat
New member
Isne desi mil jya wohe bhatera
neerajshoran
New member
Urmila ji
I appreciate the way you have brought out the relevant aspects in this issue.. It is absolutely right that for any relationship to work it is important they are based on maturity, independece and mutual respect. And today if our society is mature enough and young people who are willing to get into live in relationship with sincerity and mutual respect and more importantly are strong and independent enough to face the negative fall outs, then there is no harm in such relationship. It will save many a marriages which are being dragged just because of the family and social pressure. And in most of the cases it is woman who is at the receiving end.
Regards ... neeraj
urmiladuhan
New member
Urmila ji, this is not the actual things what you are saying about arranged marriage...might be you have seen only the scenario where this thing has happened..
Parents ki respect karna ghar se mile sanskaro par depend karti hai na ki arrange or love marriage par..
As far I know and seen, arranged marriage is far better than love marriage..aur rahi baat living in relationships ki...it just damaging society value...it should not exist at all..
Jab ek dusre ka sath hi pasand hai to parents ko batao...shaadi karo aur sath mein raho..ye faltu ka drama kyon...
As I feel, it is just an excuse of modern educated people who got high degree but dont have root knowledge..
Parents ki respect karna ghar se mile sanskaro par depend karti hai na ki arrange or love marriage par..
As far I know and seen, arranged marriage is far better than love marriage..aur rahi baat living in relationships ki...it just damaging society value...it should not exist at all..
Jab ek dusre ka sath hi pasand hai to parents ko batao...shaadi karo aur sath mein raho..ye faltu ka drama kyon...
As I feel, it is just an excuse of modern educated people who got high degree but dont have root knowledge..
urmiladuhan
New member
do you know the purpose of an arranged marriage?