Need Hope.......Please Help.....!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VPON6RHIjvc

I saw this video on someone's FB page today and it really made me think. How do we treat our women?and how do we bring up our buys?

Also can't help but see the guy in the bad pagri in the beginning as every tau or pitaji in Haryana or any Jat family. Maybe they don't literally sit you down and tell you this, but this exactly how we are 'taught' since we are young.

The son can stay out till late, daughter has to come back home the moment the tuition finishes.......the son can drive to college alone, the daughter has to be dropped by the brother or dad and the list goes on.

Of course the issue that how treat our women is a huge question, but just as much troubling is the fact that when ever I hear about honour killings or rapes or molestation my first thought is 'jat hoonge'.

I defend my heritage and community against an outsider with the ferocity of a pitbull, but recently I have the feeling that slowly there is less and less to defend.

I am not complaining, I am just hoping someone will restore some hope.....maybe even slap(only electronically) in me.

Need hope, please help

PS: Nothing against Taus and Pitajis, have great taujis and had a great father and love and respect all of them.

Whats wrong if son stays out late and girls come out home early? whats literally wrong with that. OR is it just the sting of never existing equality bite your butt? Every man wants to protect their sisters/mothers/wives or females of family because they put respect and pride in them. Where as men are on expandable side of population compared to women, what wrong in their protection this way?

That is lower self-esteem which haunt you more than anything else and it is mainly because you ve been told ever and ever again negatively by media. You ve literally presumed the false things about jats.

What pitbull? You are sounding like a meek cat here forget about pitbull and fancy stuff. How would you even stand when your confidence is broken loose with an exaggerated video here and there. Forget the fight boy!

You are not complaining rather whining like a 6th class student whose school bus seems to desert him in a stark summer afternoon. I will not choose to slap you (electronically). Its your own choice to believe on horseshyt. Help yourself, I am not a babysitter.


The video is nice, showing a mirror to people who opt to ignore the bitter truth.
perhaps you should stop being a negligent and get out of chauvinism agenda.

Yeah, you also join the bandwagon with this guy of cursing men for everything. Ask me, do I care? If it is chauvinism to be a proud jat man then I am very happy as a branded chauvinist.

समर जी क्या इस बिन्दु पर थोड़ा प्रकाश डालेंगे कि उपरोक्त पंक्तियों मे कोन सा फेमिनिस्ट अजेंडा है, जिससे बचने कि सलाह आप दे रहे हैं? क्या आप ये कहना चाह रहे हैं कि नारिवाद मे अंतर्निहित खतरे हैं जिनसे बचा जाना चाहिए?? यदि ऐसा है तो कृपया करके हम सभी को उन खतरो से अवगत अवशय करवाएँ॰।

अगर प्रकाश डालने से काम चल जाता है तो जरुर डालता हूँ ! हर उलटे सीधे काम के लिए पूर्ण मर्द जाती को दोषी ठहराना और उसके बाद उदित की तरह स्वयम की कौम पर लगे मिथ्यारोपो को सत्य मानते हुए अपरिपक्वता भरे सवाल करना मेरे शब्दकोष में फेमिनिस्म है ! कुदरत के बनाये नियमों के विरुद्ध जाकर अस्तित्व विहीन समानता के नारे लगाना और साथ में विशेष व्यवहार की अपेक्षा करना फेमिनिसटो का फैशन सा बन ग्या है ! सबसे बड़ा खतरा इस फेमिनिस्म से अगर कुछ है तो वो है स्त्री - पुरुष की बीच की खायी को ना पाटने की हद तक बढ़ा देना !


Feminist? Agenda?

The only issue (big issue) with the video is that its stereotyping. That such attitudes only exist in families where the head wears a pagdi. This is the prevalent attitude across India cutting across castes, regions, classes and communities.

There is no agenda, feminist or otherwise, in exposing the hypocrisy of male chauvinism in the name of culture. Do you wish to stand for that?

This video even doesn't work on my side but feminist belief is what I said to Udit's portrayal of things. If you talk of hypocrisy then it is equal in females too for example-Treating Bahu and Beti in different ways, a strong desire for male child and discrimination against girl child by the same mother and then being a part of female infanticide. They should be exposed equally.
 
Whats wrong if son stays out late and girls come out home early? whats literally wrong with that. OR is it just the sting of never existing equality bite your butt? Every man wants to protect their sisters/mothers/wives or females of family because they put respect and pride in them. Where as men are on expandable side of population compared to women, what wrong in their protection this way?

That is lower self-esteem which haunt you more than anything else and it is mainly because you ve been told ever and ever again negatively by media. You ve literally presumed the false things about jats.

What pitbull? You are sounding like a meek cat here forget about pitbull and fancy stuff. How would you even stand when your confidence is broken loose with an exaggerated video here and there. Forget the fight boy!

You are not complaining rather whining like a 6th class student whose school bus seems to desert him in a stark summer afternoon. I will not choose to slap you (electronically). Its your own choice to believe on horseshyt. Help yourself, I am not a babysitter.




Yeah, you also join the bandwagon with this guy of cursing men for everything. Ask me, do I care? If it is chauvinism to be a proud jat man then I am very happy as a branded chauvinist.



अगर प्रकाश डालने से काम चल जाता है तो जरुर डालता हूँ ! हर उलटे सीधे काम के लिए पूर्ण मर्द जाती को दोषी ठहराना और उसके बाद उदित की तरह स्वयम की कौम पर लगे मिथ्यारोपो को सत्य मानते हुए अपरिपक्वता भरे सवाल करना मेरे शब्दकोष में फेमिनिस्म है ! कुदरत के बनाये नियमों के विरुद्ध जाकर अस्तित्व विहीन समानता के नारे लगाना और साथ में विशेष व्यवहार की अपेक्षा करना फेमिनिसटो का फैशन सा बन ग्या है ! सबसे बड़ा खतरा इस फेमिनिस्म से अगर कुछ है तो वो है स्त्री - पुरुष की बीच की खायी को ना पाटने की हद तक बढ़ा देना !




This video even doesn't work on my side but feminist belief is what I said to Udit's portrayal of things. If you talk of hypocrisy then it is equal in females too for example-Treating Bahu and Beti in different ways, a strong desire for male child and discrimination against girl child by the same mother and then being a part of female infanticide. They should be exposed equally.

Thanks Samar for saving some typing efforts for me.
PS:Wondering, how could two people with so different experiences think so much similar.


Sh Udit Hooda Ji ,
What if you both (you and that singer -Mr Manpreet Ji) look as being opportunistic to me? What if Mr Manpreet Ji himself is a real "dharki" and is trying to woo women folks by his song?

To be honest, this is the perception that I have got by "reading" your posts and "listening" to Mr Manpreet. Could this be a "fact"? Only you and Manpreet can tell this with some certainty.


Abhik,
Most humans treat themselves and believe in using their body as a tool for marketing themselves. Some people, go overboard in this marketing and trade their body like a commodity. And this is not a problem. It's all a game, different people use different tricks/skills.

The problem (w.r.t current topic) starts firstly with how nature has created people (men and women) and secondly with the humans belief of thinking themselves as different from other animals.

The first issue is that the nature has made a male and a female differently. While a male can meet his objective (sex) by using aggression, a female can not, regardless of how muscular she is. She has to lure male to meet her objective. So nature wise female is at a disadvantage (for meeting this particular objective) as she can only use one method (luring) while male can use two (luring and aggression).

The second issue is that the first issue is a non-issue for all species in nature except for "humans". Humans think that they are superior than all other species and prefer to control nature rather-than being controlled by nature. (And I need a sociologist who can explain me what is wrong in extrapolating this logic to "Whites thinking superior to blacks", "Brahmins thinking superior to dalits" and "Mem thinking superior to women". I believe something is wrong with this extrapolation, however, I am unclear on what). To address this nature's inequality, humans made different societies with different rules on how man and woman can meet this objective of having sex. So the problem is across the societies (that is worldwide), the difference lies not on the mindset (mindset is a product of society) but on the number of rules. Where there are more rules, there is more problem. So if humans want a total eradication of the problem, then, logically, they should dissolve all rules and adopt nature. But then that brings us where we started - calling ourselves humans.
 
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All those who say they have not seen the video- you are not missing much. Another guy trying to gain some hits encashing a sensitive issue.
 
Whats wrong if son stays out late and girls come out home early? whats literally wrong with that. OR is it just the sting of never existing equality bite your butt? Every man wants to protect their sisters/mothers/wives or females of family because they put respect and pride in them. Where as men are on expandable side of population compared to women, what wrong in their protection this way?

That is lower self-esteem which haunt you more than anything else and it is mainly because you ve been told ever and ever again negatively by media. You ve literally presumed the false things about jats.

What pitbull? You are sounding like a meek cat here forget about pitbull and fancy stuff. How would you even stand when your confidence is broken loose with an exaggerated video here and there. Forget the fight boy!

You are not complaining rather whining like a 6th class student whose school bus seems to desert him in a stark summer afternoon. I will not choose to slap you (electronically). Its your own choice to believe on horseshyt. Help yourself, I am not a babysitter.




Yeah, you also join the bandwagon with this guy of cursing men for everything. Ask me, do I care? If it is chauvinism to be a proud jat man then I am very happy as a branded chauvinist.



अगर प्रकाश डालने से काम चल जाता है तो जरुर डालता हूँ ! हर उलटे सीधे काम के लिए पूर्ण मर्द जाती को दोषी ठहराना और उसके बाद उदित की तरह स्वयम की कौम पर लगे मिथ्यारोपो को सत्य मानते हुए अपरिपक्वता भरे सवाल करना मेरे शब्दकोष में फेमिनिस्म है ! कुदरत के बनाये नियमों के विरुद्ध जाकर अस्तित्व विहीन समानता के नारे लगाना और साथ में विशेष व्यवहार की अपेक्षा करना फेमिनिसटो का फैशन सा बन ग्या है ! सबसे बड़ा खतरा इस फेमिनिस्म से अगर कुछ है तो वो है स्त्री - पुरुष की बीच की खायी को ना पाटने की हद तक बढ़ा देना !




This video even doesn't work on my side but feminist belief is what I said to Udit's portrayal of things. If you talk of hypocrisy then it is equal in females too for example-Treating Bahu and Beti in different ways, a strong desire for male child and discrimination against girl child by the same mother and then being a part of female infanticide. They should be exposed equally.

I ask just one question to you 'why does a girl, sister or daughter or wife need protection? And from who? Why is there a need for the men to provide this protection?

Besides this most of what you have written are personal insults and I will not validate them with a reply. Bring a point worth fighting for instead of just fighting and name calling.
 
Thanks Samar for saving some typing efforts for me.
PS:Wondering, how could two people with so different experiences think so much similar.


Sh Udit Hooda Ji ,
What if you both (you and that singer -Mr Manpreet Ji) look as being opportunistic to me? What if Mr Manpreet Ji himself is a real "dharki" and is trying to woo women folks by his song?

To be honest, this is the perception that I have got by "reading" your posts and "listening" to Mr Manpreet. Could this be a "fact"? Only you and Manpreet can tell this with some certainty.


Abhik,
Most humans treat themselves and believe in using their body as a tool for marketing themselves. Some people, go overboard in this marketing and trade their body like a commodity. And this is not a problem. It's all a game, different people use different tricks/skills.

The problem (w.r.t current topic) starts firstly with how nature has created people (men and women) and secondly with the humans belief of thinking themselves as different from other animals.

The first issue is that the nature has made a male and a female differently. While a male can meet his objective (sex) by using aggression, a female can not, regardless of how muscular she is. She has to lure male to meet her objective. So nature wise female is at a disadvantage (for meeting this particular objective) as she can only use one method (luring) while male can use two (luring and aggression).

The second issue is that the first issue is a non-issue for all species in nature except for "humans". Humans think that they are superior than all other species and prefer to control nature rather-than being controlled by nature. (And I need a sociologist who can explain me what is wrong in extrapolating this logic to "Whites thinking superior to blacks", "Brahmins thinking superior to dalits" and "Mem thinking superior to women". I believe something is wrong with this extrapolation, however, I am unclear on what). To address this nature's inequality, humans made different societies with different rules on how man and woman can meet this objective of having sex. So the problem is across the societies (that is worldwide), the difference lies not on the mindset (mindset is a product of society) but on the number of rules. Where there are more rules, there is more problem. So if humans want a total eradication of the problem, then, logically, they should dissolve all rules and adopt nature. But then that brings us where we started - calling ourselves humans.

Yes I think you have caught my hidden intentions...the reason why I am writing here is to gather popularity. I feel so gratified and complete that 5 people have read my post and out of the 5 maybe 1 really got the point. Exactly what popularity means.

Besides your deep thought on humans marketing they body and rules and natures inequality and so on are just fascinating. It will take me a few days to grasp the meaning of it, but don't worry I am on it. Once I clearly understand it, I will reply.
 
All those who say they have not seen the video- you are not missing much. Another guy trying to gain some hits encashing a sensitive issue.

At least he is addressing an issue. An issue is a prevalent truth......and the reason behind how women are treated in our community/society/country by and large, if not in absolution.
 
Whats wrong if son stays out late and girls come out home early? whats literally wrong with that.
No, there isn’t anything wrong in that, literally nothing.
But why can I not stay out long without my parents fearing for my safety. Why there has to be someone always escorting me if I have to be somewhere which can take me long. Why I have to खूट् टो one person. Why can I not come home alone if it’s past 7 pm without my folks getting restless till I reach home? I want that freedom; I need my parents not to worry about the safety of their girl every time she’s out. I want them to be relieved that I’ll be safe.

Ok I'm privileged, coming from a बड़ा कुणबा there can always be one person from my family escorting me, but what about others?! The girls can't stay confined in their homes (Of course being at home also doesn't gurantee safety for some).

Just a small example to support my point- I don’t need to use DTC or Haryana Roadways on a daily basis but what about the plight of thousands of girls who has to suffer groping and molestation every day?! Moreover, other passengers become meek spectators of this gross act despite being aware of the fact that somewhere in other bus same thing might be happening to their daughters or sisters.


We’ve failed as a society to give women their much deserved honour. And I think we need to start from scratch, every parent need to teach their young boy as much as his body is sacred to him in the same way a girl’s body is also sacred, we need to sensitize them. The correct values with proper education and guidance at young age would be a nice step in this direction without making things much complicated for children so that they grow up to be responsible adults. Call it optimism, but this is worth trying.
 
Whats wrong if son stays out late and girls come out home early? whats literally wrong with that.
No, there isn’t anything wrong in that, literally nothing.
But why can I not stay out long without my parents fearing for my safety. Why there has to be someone always escorting me if I have to be somewhere which can take me long. Why I have to खूट् टो one person. Why can I not come home alone if it’s past 7 pm without my folks getting restless till I reach home? I want that freedom; I need my parents not to worry about the safety of their girl every time she’s out. I want them to be relieved that I’ll be safe.

Ok I'm privileged, coming from a बड़ा कुणबा there can always be one person from my family escorting me, but what about others?! The girls can't stay confined in their homes (Of course being at home also doesn't gurantee safety for some).

Just a small example to support my point- I don’t need to use DTC or Haryana Roadways on a daily basis but what about the plight of thousands of girls who has to suffer groping and molestation every day?! Moreover, other passengers become meek spectators of this gross act despite being aware of the fact that somewhere in other bus same thing might be happening to their daughters or sisters.


We’ve failed as a society to give women their much deserved honour. And I think we need to start from scratch, every parent need to teach their young boy as much as his body is sacred to him in the same way a girl’s body is also sacred, we need to sensitize them. The correct values with proper education and guidance at young age would be a nice step in this direction without making things much complicated for children so that they grow up to be responsible adults. Call it optimism, but this is worth trying.

Very well put....finally someone got the point of the post.
 
No, there isn’t anything wrong in that, literally nothing.
But why can I not stay out long without my parents fearing for my safety. Why there has to be someone always escorting me if I have to be somewhere which can take me long. Why I have to खूट् टो one person. Why can I not come home alone if it’s past 7 pm without my folks getting restless till I reach home? I want that freedom; I need my parents not to worry about the safety of their girl every time she’s out. I want them to be relieved that I’ll be safe.

Ok I'm privileged, coming from a बड़ा कुणबा there can always be one person from my family escorting me, but what about others?! The girls can't stay confined in their homes (Of course being at home also doesn't gurantee safety for some).

Just a small example to support my point- I don’t need to use DTC or Haryana Roadways on a daily basis but what about the plight of thousands of girls who has to suffer groping and molestation every day?! Moreover, other passengers become meek spectators of this gross act despite being aware of the fact that somewhere in other bus same thing might be happening to their daughters or sisters.


We’ve failed as a society to give women their much deserved honour. And I think we need to start from scratch, every parent need to teach their young boy as much as his body is sacred to him in the same way a girl’s body is also sacred, we need to sensitize them. The correct values with proper education and guidance at young age would be a nice step in this direction without making things much complicated for children so that they grow up to be responsible adults. Call it optimism, but this is worth trying.

Looking at the likes of your post, I will say, no wonder, feminism sells so much and so well!

I haven't seen any discussion on the following gender biases.
Why does a husband/son faces bullets instead of letting his wife/mother/sister face them?
Why does a husband/son become a truck/bus driver and face the risk at road instead of letting his wife/mother/sister face it?
Why there is so much of jewellery, cosmetics, dresses for women and very less for men?
Why there is so much of outcry when someone questions as to why women do not cover their body as much as men?



Well, all the ladies out there at Jatland, tell me one thing, when every member of the society is born from a woman's body and when nature has given women the first chance to mold and bring up a child, why has women produced this failed society? When nature has given women enough strength to do whatever men can do, and when women form 50% of the society, why do women still blame society?

Now coming to the desires and fantasies of a world of women's freedom. Tell me where does this world of freedom exist, for men?

When life is full of obligations and duties for both men and women, why do only women cry for freedom?
 
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When nature has given women enough strength to do whatever men can do, and when women form 50% of the society, why do women still blame society?

No Arvind, Woman physically are weaker than man and emotionally much stronger and this is not me but science that talks.

That is why you would see in Indian marriage system man is mostly elder than woman to balance the life.

But I do agree that women tend to play a major role as compared to men in shaping the society, a child learns most from his mother, and teachers who more often than not tend to be women in India so responsibility has to be shared equally for a bad society
 
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Looking at the likes of your post, I will say, no wonder, feminism sells so much and so well!

In male dominated society, I never saw woman enjoying equal status. So many examples in front of us. Skewed sex ratio. Desire for baby boy . Without woman's participation, a society cannot progress.
 
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In male dominated society, I never saw woman enjoying equal status. So many examples in front of us. Skewed sex ratio. Desire for baby boy . Without woman's participation, a society cannot progress.

How often have you seen a woman in Haryana standing up for a girls when it comes to birth? More often than not the woman themselves become a partner in prejudice of wanting a baby boy, saas wants their bahus to give birth to boys, in such a scenario is it fair to only blame mails completely?

It is a male dominated society but men alone are not responsible for the state of society.
 
How often have you seen a woman in Haryana standing up for a girls when it comes to birth? More often than not the woman themselves become a partner in prejudice of wanting a baby boy, saas wants their bahus to give birth to boys, in such a scenario is it fair to only blame mails completely?

It is a male dominated society but men alone are not responsible for the state of society.
My point was women have been disadvantaged in our society. Woman does not get right education resulting in such thinking. So first let her educate and let her employed. So that she go out and contribute. If man keeps woman for household work only, such thinking will prevail.
 
Whats wrong if son stays out late and girls come out home early?
Ohh.. Nothing wrong. Lets reverse it. You come early or may be you stay at home all the time and see the difference. I am sure you would not not survive for a month staying at home all the time. Put yourself into other person's shoes!!
 
कीड़ी का घर कित सिक .....आगे पाछे नीम तले


ले दे क यो ऐ टॉपिक रह गया
 
Ohh.. Nothing wrong. Lets reverse it. You come early or may be you stay at home all the time and see the difference. I am sure you would not not survive for a month staying at home all the time. Put yourself into other person's shoes!!

औरत और आदमी के जूते के नंबर में काफी डिफरेंस हो स .........औरत क तो फेर भी आ जग आदमी का जूता (थोडा ढीला ऐ रहगा बस)....पर आदमी क क्यूकर फसेगा औरत का जूता .....पा ने काट गारेगा
 
औरत और आदमी के जूते के नंबर में काफी डिफरेंस हो स .........औरत क तो फेर भी आ जग आदमी का जूता (थोडा ढीला ऐ रहगा बस)....पर आदमी क क्यूकर फसेगा औरत का जूता .....पा ने काट गारेगा
Ek dum sahi baat..to bhai saari ummeed aurat tai hi kyon..! Aadmi tai kitte bhi compromise nahi kar raha?
 
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Looking at the likes of your post, I will say, no wonder, feminism sells so much and so well!

I haven't seen any discussion on the following gender biases.
Why does a husband/son faces bullets instead of letting his wife/mother/sister face them?
Why does a husband/son become a truck/bus driver and face the risk at road instead of letting his wife/mother/sister face it?
Why there is so much of jewellery, cosmetics, dresses for women and very less for men?
Why there is so much of outcry when someone questions as to why women do not cover their body as much as men?



Well, all the ladies out there at Jatland, tell me one thing, when every member of the society is born from a woman's body and when nature has given women the first chance to mold and bring up a child, why has women produced this failed society? When nature has given women enough strength to do whatever men can do, and when women form 50% of the society, why do women still blame society?

Now coming to the desires and fantasies of a world of women's freedom. Tell me where does this world of freedom exist, for men?

When life is full of obligations and duties for both men and women, why do only women cry for freedom?

I am not sure what is being sold here.....I have not seen a penny as yet from this post :)

Besides kindly bare with the following:

Why does a husband/son faces bullets instead of letting his wife/mother/sister face them?
Because the army doesnt allow women in combat. If they were allowed I can assure you they would not hide from any bullets. Also if the army 'man' is able to go to the front line and take bullet it is because the woman at home is taking care of his family. I have more than 8 of my cousins sister and buas married in the army and they and their husbands (the aforesaid mighty men) attest the same.

Why does a husband/son become a truck/bus driver and face the risk at road instead of letting his wife/mother/sister face it?
There are many female auto, bus and taxi drivers in the major cities and if it was safe for the women to drive around on the highways I am again 100% sure they would not shy away from this task. BTW the safety issue is because of the might men.

Why there is so much of jewellery, cosmetics, dresses for women and very less for men?
I am not sure if you have been watching television lately, otherwise you would'nt have been feeling so left out of the cosmetics parade. There are many a 'fair & handsomes' available in the market that will help you catch up with the women folk and their makeup and cosmetics. And if that is not enough no one is stopping you from wearing a skirt and a diamond necklace and wander around on the streets.

The reason why you dont do it is because you will be ridiculed by men and women alike and you just might be groped and felt-up by your might men considering you will be looking so hot after the fair and handsome......short skirt and diamond necklace.


Why there is so much of outcry when someone questions as to why women do not cover their body as much as men?
There is an outcry because men who cant keep it in their pants dont want women to have an opinion and want to keep them suppressed. If a girl wants to not cover her body as much as a man.....it is her decision and no one else but she is responsible for her decision. No one......man or woman has the right to tell her what to do. That is why there is an out cry. Lets see how the might men feel if one fine day there is a new rule that all men will wear dhotis and kurtas to office or even better wear saris and salwar kameez.

Your arguments above are amateurish at best because equality doesnt mean men start doing women's jobs and women start doing a mans work. It means no matter what each are doing they have a equal say in it. No matter what women are doing men respect them and show that with their actions. It means when a girl wants to go out at night, it is not taken for granted that she is an 'easy' girl or she comes from a low moral character. Equality means both men and women have equal rights in what ever they do. No one superseeds the other.

I do agree with you when you say women are also a part of the suppression of women, for example the tormenting mother-in-law asking the dammed bahu to produce boys as if they were kittens, but if the men folk of the house come in support of such bahus, then the Saansu-ma will not have the power to force the bahu. If the husband of a girl is strong enough then no mother-in-law can torture the bahu.

Lastly, freedom doesnt mean freedom from responsibilities and obligations and these responsibilities come on us by virtue of being humans and not men. If the man has the responsibility of earning the daily bread then the woman has the responsibility to make sure the house is running on that money, if the man has to responsibility and obligation to educate himself then the woman has the same. There is not responsibility that a man has that cannot be matched by an equal and just as important responsibility/obligation that a woman takes on herself.

Again equality doesnt mean we let go of everything and sit at home and chill......it means everyone has equal opportunities and everyone is not judged by the clothes they wear, what they drink and where they choose to spend their evenings.
 
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