jokes

[sanjay22dahiya]

Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi
hoti hai. Mummy
ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

• Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

• In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to
tumhari aatma se
pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main
tumhari rooh ko
chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal
doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

• Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one
scooter & a
traffic cop tried to stop them.
Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkul
bhi jagah nahin
hai

• Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3
movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents

• Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is
open

• Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue
u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

• Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar
auraton ko kyon
ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne
ka samay 9am-
11am

• A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya.

• Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word
Good-Bye
Santa: Oh, yeah? What's it? Banta: Many years ago,
some husband said
to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good!
Bye!
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I
hv lst my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has
lost his head.
Is he crying?

• In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

• Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole
night. He got
irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab
maroge!

• Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number
pe tha

• Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya,
vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.

• Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha.
Driver ne
sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko
dekhkta hai,
piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

• Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.

• Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says
This is all
India Radio!

• Banta: U looked troubled, what's ur prob?
Santa: I'm going to b a father
Banta: But, that's wonderful
Santa: What's wonderful! My wife doesn't know about it
yet

• O yaar hun meri kudi jawaan ho gayi hai, ki karan?
Banta: Karna ki hai, ohnu border te bhej de, saanu
jawaanan di badi
lor hai

 

[cheelu]

MBA Vs BCom Student

An MBA and a Bcom go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the Bcom wakes his MBA frnd. "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see"

The MBA replies," t see millains of stars"
"What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time waise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three/

Theoritically, its evident the Lord is all- powerful and we are
samll and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful dat 2morrow.
"what does it tell you"

The Bcom is silent for a moment, then speaks.
"Practically..... Someone has stolen our tent"

 

[abhinavdudi]

Non Jat Jokes!!

hummm non jat jokes again.. i thought they are not allowed!!

 

[dndeswal]

hummm non jat jokes again.. i thought they are not allowed!!

Of course, not allowed.

.