Intercaste Marriages.

[shweta123]

Indian Marriages- Indian marriage is not just a marriage of the two individual but marriage of the two families. Marriages r means to carry forward the caste regimes and r used as instruments for continuation of the caste lineage. The entrenched caste hierarchy in the indian social context makes marriage an institution that is also responsible for preventing and propagating socio-religious values and behaviour.

So marrying in same caste is always a wise decision as the persons and their values(in terms of religoin) are almost same and it will be easy for both the parties to deal with eachother with a ease.

And 100% its one's own decision i m just putting my views.

Marriage at the first place is a unison of two persons or two families ??

Do both the families have to take common decisions always, share the same bed, sleep with each other, share their earnings, eat the same food...........????

Families shaadi karwa deti hain aur bechaare do panchii lad ke mar bhi ja hain kayi baar (I am aint saying always !) so the contention that it is a unison of two families is viable BUT to an extent .....

Insaan khud khush rahega tab hi gaam ki sochega ....

Waise bhi aajkal jyadatar sab akele hi rehte hain .... relatives ke paas roj roj ke jhagde suljhaane ka time nahi hota .....

 

[mansi289]

padhai aur knowledge ke liye aage ki century mein dekhna accha hai, lekin for culture you need to look back first and then, should move forward....rest, i don't feel anything strange like u as i know different thoughts, perceptions, living style, etc.(whether old or new or collaboration of the two) will be experienced throughout our life....kapdon mein jab purana fashion dohraya jata hai to koi aise strange feel nahin karta, but take it as the most trendy

You're true that we have to peep into the past in order to know about our culture,traditions(that's only for the knowledge)...but we have to make changes in the past for a better life,better future.As in the past there were customs which you cannot even try following nowadays no matter which philosophy/logic you apply on it.

if one is unable to explain the reason of not going with a particular person then its obvious parents will think that the child is still immature and then take the decision on their own....for which such children says that it was all imposed....but who understands the root cause(except the family)....and the blame game thus prevails everywhere

I feel that at times parents do not try listening to the reasons of their child for doing so,they're so completely blind in certain situations & then they kind of torture(in true sense) their child emotionally to accept the guy/girl they choose.Neelam ji, its not that the child is 'unable to explain',its only the parents who think that whatever they'd decide is the best and they dont give it time cos of family pressure and the 'age' factor....
I always felt that parents are the best judge but after a bad expeirence, I dont depend on them for this most imp decision of my life.They are more mature and experienced for sure but they also have to realise that sometimes things might not go according to their opinions/predictions.They ought to be open to their child's opinion as well,have to trust him/her before forming a conclusion.

 

[nishantrathi82]

Marriage at the first place is a unison of two persons or two families ??

Do both the families have to take common decisions always, share the same bed, sleep with each other, share their earnings, eat the same food...........????

Families shaadi karwa deti hain aur bechaare do panchii lad ke mar bhi ja hain kayi baar (I am aint saying always !) so the contention that it is a unison of two families is viable BUT to an extent .....

Insaan khud khush rahega tab hi gaam ki sochega ....

Waise bhi aajkal jyadatar sab akele hi rehte hain .... relatives ke paas roj roj ke jhagde suljhaane ka time nahi hota .....

Rehte honge mam akeele waise mere mom dad mere relatives nahe hai aur aisee baat hai to accha hoga k log apne baccho ko paidaa hote hee alag kaarde kya jaroorat hai 20-25 saal taak unke jhaagde suljhane ke aur tension lene ke.
Aur atleast for me mujhe to khushi milti hai jab mere ass pass waale khush rehte hai may be friends or family.

And this only my prespective.

 

[shweta123]

Marriages r means to carry forward the caste regimes and r used as instruments for continuation of the caste lineage.

The entrenched caste hierarchy in the indian social context makes marriage an institution that is also responsible for preventing and propagating socio-religious values and behaviour.

So marrying in same caste is always a wise decision as the persons and their values(in terms of religoin) are almost same and it will be easy for both the parties to deal with eachother with a ease.

And 100% its one's own decision i m just putting my views.

Rahi baat 'means to carry forward caste regime' ki ...... jab tak ghar pe roti tukda na mile aur insaan ki buniyaadi jaroorate na poori ho tab tak usko ye caste ke khayal nahi aa sakte ..... jiske ghar me roj rolle hua kare hain unte jaake pucho akk ye thaari caste ki chorii tamne kaisi laage hai ....... tab wo ye hi kehte hain caste gayi tel lene ..... pehlyaan manne apne roti paani ka jugaad sa karan de .....

jaise hi koi vyakti in jaroorato se upar utha tab hi wo ye sab baate soch sakta hai ....

Now coming to your VIEW regarding "the persons and their values(in terms of religoin) are almost same" :

Aajkal jat ke baalak bhi bachpan te Maggi arr Uncle chips khavein hain arr Baniye baahman ke bhi ..... ek hi tarah ke nakhre hain sabhi ke ..... Jato ke baalak bhi kayi itne darpok ho hain ak kuch kehne ki had nahi ...... sab kuch mix hota ja raha hai ........ ab is mix culture me unke gale me "Mai Jat hu Jat se shaadi karunga/karungi" ki thakhti nahi lagaayi ja sakti ..... jo maan le thik hai nahi maan paaye to bhi thik .....

Aur agar laga sakte ho to laga ke dekh lo .... :rock


Aur 100% ye unka hi decision hoga Nishant ..... tum na bhi kehte to bhi unka hi hota ....

 

[mansi289]

lol..funny

iska matlab yehua ki UP mein jo bhi bandook ya latth chalaane wali news aati rehti hain wo saare jaats honge?

absolutely right!!....thanks for putting it here as i was missing this thing to explain

agar karam se hoti hain to ek baniye ke haath se lath ya banduk chalwa ke dekha de maan jaunga bhai tane ...
bhai aapne hybreed aur desi beejo ke bare me suna hoga , dono k taste me farak hota hain, desi khane me swaad hota hain par paidhawar me kam aur hybreed dekhne me achha hota hain paidhawar me jyaadha par khaane me swaad nahi hota....

 

[bhavnasingh20]

You're true that we have to peep into the past in order to know about our culture,traditions(that's only for the knowledge)...but we have to make changes in the past for a better life,better future.As in the past there were customs which you cannot even try following nowadays no matter which philosophy/logic you apply on it.



I feel that at times parents do not try listening to the reasons of their child for doing so,they're so completely blind in certain situations & then they kind of torture(in true sense) their child emotionally to accept the guy/girl they choose.Neelam ji, its not that the child is 'unable to explain',its only the parents who think that whatever they'd decide is the best and they dont give it time cos of family pressure and the 'age' factor....
I always felt that parents are the best judge but after a bad expeirence, I dont depend on them for this most imp decision of my life.They are more mature and experienced for sure but they also have to realise that sometimes things might not go according to their opinions/predictions.They ought to be open to their child's opinion as well,have to trust him/her before forming a conclusion.

bingo mansi......perfect reply !!!!!
n i know which bad experience u talkin abt.....

bahut times yahi hota hai...parents simply refuse to listen coz acc to them the guy/girl is gud...

lekin jab khud par beet ti hai tabhi pata chalta hai

 

[bhavnasingh20]

Rahi baat 'means to carry forward caste regime' ki ...... jab tak ghar pe roti tukda na mile aur insaan ki buniyaadi jaroorate na poori ho tab tak usko ye caste ke khayal nahi aa sakte ..... jiske ghar me roj rolle hua kare hain unte jaake pucho akk ye thaari caste ki chorii tamne kaisi laage hai ....... tab wo ye hi kehte hain caste gayi tel lene ..... pehlyaan manne apne roti paani ka jugaad sa karan de .....

jaise hi koi vyakti in jaroorato se upar utha tab hi wo ye sab baate soch sakta hai ....

Now coming to your VIEW regarding "the persons and their values(in terms of religoin) are almost same" :

Aajkal jat ke baalak bhi bachpan te Maggi arr Uncle chips khavein hain arr Baniye baahman ke bhi ..... ek hi tarah ke nakhre hain sabhi ke ..... Jato ke baalak bhi kayi itne darpok ho hain ak kuch kehne ki had nahi ...... sab kuch mix hota ja raha hai ........ ab is mix culture me unke gale me "Mai Jat hu Jat se shaadi karunga/karungi" ki thakhti nahi lagaayi ja sakti ..... jo maan le thik hai nahi maan paaye to bhi thik .....

Aur agar laga sakte ho to laga ke dekh lo .... :rock


Aur 100% ye unka hi decision hoga Nishant ..... tum na bhi kehte to bhi unka hi hota ....

sahi baat hai shweta...

mera cuz hai...woh kisi aur ki ungli se bhi khoon dekhta hai to faint ho jata hai......ab kya woh jat nahin??

aur mera ek dost punjabi hai....ek baar serious ladai ho gayi to woh bandook le aaya uss ladke ke dimag pe rakhne ke liye.....

fir ab kya un sab ko bhi jaaton mein gin le?

 

[shweta123]

You're true that we have to peep into the past in order to know about our culture,traditions(that's only for the knowledge)...but we have to make changes in the past for a better life,better future.As in the past there were customs which you cannot even try following nowadays no matter which philosophy/logic you apply on it.

I feel that at times parents do not try listening to the reasons of their child for doing so,they're so completely blind in certain situations & then they kind of torture(in true sense) their child emotionally to accept the guy/girl they choose.Neelam ji, its not that the child is 'unable to explain',its only the parents who think that whatever they'd decide is the best and they dont give it time cos of family pressure and the 'age' factor....
I always felt that parents are the best judge but after a bad expeirence, I dont depend on them for this most imp decision of my life.They are more mature and experienced for sure but they also have to realise that sometimes things might not go according to their opinions/predictions.They ought to be open to their child's opinion as well,have to trust him/her before forming a conclusion.

Mansi, you are right. Actually the problem lies where some parents are fiercely stiff in their approach towards intra caste marriages and they are on their toes to go to any extent to kill the decision of their child to marry in some other caste.

Yes of course one should go for marriage in his or her own caste if it has to be completely arranged, but in case this is not the case or that person is able to find a much better match in some other community then this close minded formula should not be universally appied as if it is a die hard rule !

Ruining someone's life is a serious matter indeed.

 

[mansi289]

thanx Bhavna...

seriously parents are blind till they dont get a shock from the guy/girl of their choice.Now you might want to say that such incidences are rare or it was my fate(my goodluck actually )..?

Neelam ji the truth is,if you want to know what is best,you will have to create atleast 10 polls over here so that you come to know of the reality...forming opinions is good no doubt but doing case-studies opens up one's eyes.

bingo mansi......perfect reply !!!!!
n i know which bad experience u talkin abt.....

bahut times yahi hota hai...parents simply refuse to listen coz acc to them the guy/girl is gud...

lekin jab khud par beet ti hai tabhi pata chalta hai

 

[bhavnasingh20]

thanx Bhavna...

seriously parents are blind till they dont get a shock from the guy/girl of their choice.Now you might want to say that such incidences are rare or it was my fate(my goodluck actually )..?

Neelam ji the truth is,if you want to know what is best,you will have to create atleast 10 polls over here so that you come to know of the reality...forming opinions is good no doubt but doing case-studies opens up one's eyes.

surely ur gud luck sweetheart.....

m dead sure abt tht
but eye opener to mil hi gaya na...next time they wud b more careful

 

[arvind1069]

dekho bhai agar kisi se love affair nahi hai to naturally apni community main shadi karna asaan hota hai. kar lo koi buri baat nahi hai.

lekin agar do log aapas main pyar karte hain, mature hai, unme understanding hai, aur shadi karna chahte hai to unhe aapas main shadi karne se kyun rokte ho sirf isliye ki caste same nahi hai...
kyun parents apne jhoothi shaan, ego ke liye apni aulad ki baat nahi maante.

har koi apne dil se pooche ki pyaar kya caste dekh kar kiya jaata hai...

 

[arvind1069]

Marriage at the first place is a unison of two persons or two families ??

Do both the families have to take common decisions always, share the same bed, sleep with each other, share their earnings, eat the same food...........????

Families shaadi karwa deti hain aur bechaare do panchii lad ke mar bhi ja hain kayi baar (I am aint saying always !) so the contention that it is a unison of two families is viable BUT to an extent .....

Insaan khud khush rahega tab hi gaam ki sochega ....

Waise bhi aajkal jyadatar sab akele hi rehte hain .... relatives ke paas roj roj ke jhagde suljhaane ka time nahi hota .....

u r a real haazir jawab...with logic

 

[shweta123]

...........
Aur atleast for me mujhe to khushi milti hai jab mere ass pass waale khush rehte hai may be friends or family.

And this only my prespective.

hahaaaaaaa ...... tumko khushi milti hai par jaroori nahi tumhaari JAT wife ko bhi mile sabko khush dekh ke ..... aajkal ki kayi ladkiyo ko nahi bhi milti hai !

aur wo ek ek pal har ek family member ka jeena mushkil kar deti hain :thappad..... unke mun ka na karo to kaali devi ka ugra roop dharan kar leti hain aur agar unke mun ka karo to unka mun hi badal jaata hai :tamatar

So...... choice of a 'NICE' person is more imporatant than choosing a 'JAT" person agar tum sabko khush rakhna chahte ho to .....

 

[mukeshkumar007]

By fault or default I clicked on this thread to read something but left totally confused.

 

[bislas]

jaat banne ke liye kya karna padega... mere bahaut friends jo othercaste ke hain they want to join jatland...unhe kya suggest karun...??

thanks neelam and prashant. its already discussed.

i feel there is no harm in intercaste marriage...
kyunki jaati janam se nahi karam se hoti hai..

 

[cooljat]

Bhai Byaah ki baat ho rehi ss, vo bhi intercast !! isme confusion ki ke baat hogi?

Waise mein kuch kahoon iss sandharb mein!!...

Mera to ye sochna hai if its aged & mature luv then cast creed color hardly matters but if its more of infatuation then chances of conflicts & ego clash are fat in future ... so conclusion is if you are truly deeply in luv and ready to sacrifice n adjust go for it but if u r not in luv then marry within ur cast ! period.


Rock on
Jit

By fault or default I clicked on this thread to read something but left totally confused.

 

[arvind1069]

Bhai Byaah ki baat ho rehi ss, vo bhi intercast !! isme confusion ki ke baat hogi?

Waise mein kuch kahoon iss sandharb mein!!...

Mera to ye sochna hai if its aged & mature luv then cast creed color hardly matters but if its more of infatuation then chances of conflicts & ego clash are fat in future ... so conclusion is if you are truly deeply in luv and ready to sacrifice n adjust go for it but if u r not in luv then marry within ur cast ! period.


Rock on
Jit

totally agree with u.

 

[nishantrathi82]

Chalo g lagta hai sab Inter caste me he intrested hai that means hum log apne caste me 1 accha ladka ya ladki nahe dhund sakte.
Chalo g jaise jiske marji

 

[nishantrathi82]

1 baat aur paata laag ge is taaage se ke ib jaat ladai jhagde me na rehte woh dusre caste me pyar bhi kaaran laage hai accha indication hai

 

[nishantrathi82]

hahaaaaaaa ...... tumko khushi milti hai par jaroori nahi tumhaari JAT wife ko bhi mile sabko khush dekh ke ..... aajkal ki kayi ladkiyo ko nahi bhi milti hai !

aur wo ek ek pal har ek family member ka jeena mushkil kar deti hain :thappad..... unke mun ka na karo to kaali devi ka ugra roop dharan kar leti hain aur agar unke mun ka karo to unka mun hi badal jaata hai :tamatar

So...... choice of a 'NICE' person is more imporatant than choosing a 'JAT" person agar tum sabko khush rakhna chahte ho to .....

To mam kya mai apke baato se ye maan lun ke Jaat ladkiya acche nahe hote in terms of making a Joint family waise mai ladka hun to mujhe jayda nahe paata lekin apne sisters ko dekh kaar to nahe laagta mujhe k woh joint families me fit nahe ho sakte. Baaki sab samjhdaar hai yaha