Violence against Women - Wake up call

S

scsheorayan

Member
While there is no denying that India has made progress economically and level of education. Girls are doing very well academically and professionally. They are soure of pride and have major influence on next generation. Have they earned their rightful place in society or are they being treated unfairly ? How progressive are Jats of to-day ?

Following link shows dark side of our society which is a cause for concern.

http://www.indiatimes.com/women-sla...-tv/Husband-rapes-wife/photostory/6652130.cms

What can we do about it ?

Click on the following link and get some awareness on the subject and see what other societies are doing about it.

http://www.whiteribbonday.org.au/

Next ofcourse is an important personal decision. If you feel strongly about it, you can make a difference by standing up against this social scourge.

"Progress of a society is judged from how they value humanity"

There is nothing humane about violence and if it is against one of our own it is shameful.

God be with you
 
"Bell Bajao"

scsheorayan said:
While there is no denying that India has made progress economically and level of education. Girls are doing very well academically and professionally. They are soure of pride and have major influence on next generation. Have they earned their rightful place in society or are they being treated unfairly ? How progressive are Jats of to-day ?

Following link shows dark side of our society which is a cause for concern.

http://www.indiatimes.com/women-sla...-tv/Husband-rapes-wife/photostory/6652130.cms

What can we do about it ?

Click on the following link and get some awareness on the subject and see what other societies are doing about it.

http://www.whiteribbonday.org.au/

Next ofcourse is an important personal decision. If you feel strongly about it, you can make a difference by standing up against this social scourge.

"Progress of a society is judged from how they value humanity"

There is nothing humane about violence and if it is against one of our own it is shameful.

God be with you
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Dear Memebr,
I must appreciate you for starting this valuable thread.

And also, I must inform you that in India, we too have one such very effective campaign for ‘Violence Against Woman” i.e. Bell Bajao ( http://bellbajao.org/ ). it’s the first and one of its own kind of campaign in the World, wherein you have to (If you are man enough) ring the bell or knock at the door and ask a stupid question, for example "aapke ghar TV hai?" wherever you suspect any Violence against a woman. Very recently (September 21, 2010) it has been appreciated by the United Nation and has been adopted as a “Ring The Bell” Campaign undertaken by United Nations across the world (http://www.un.org/News/Press/docs/2010/sgsm13121.doc.htm).


I must say that in no civilization the violence against woman can be justified or accepted; I request all the Jat MANkind to seriously think over it and immediately resolve that now onward neither they would commit such gross and inhumane act, and nor would remain silent in the event of knowing about or witnessing such Violence.
 
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Violence, especially against women is deplorable, and an act of cowardice on the part of the perpetuator.

It is not, however I submit as rampant as the TV serial makes out, and is certainly not the norm. We should be careful not to let Media and TV serials shape our minds and attitudes.

The serial “ Na Aao is Desh Lado” is a case in point. Depicting a basically Jat society in derogatory terms, so that the audience can build another negative stereotype of Jats and rural society.

Best regards

Ravi Chaudhary
 
ravinderjeet said:
manney to aaj taahi log pittey dekhe sein loogaaiyaan pe.
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Haan bhai mene bhi aaj tak aisa koi nahi dekha/mila jo apni lugayi ko peet ta ho. Haan Lugayi ki dant khaniye har usse daraniye to bahot dekhe he..

Aapne to sikhaya yehi jata h bachpan se ke ladkiyon pe hath uthana paap hota he. Koi bhi sacha Mard ek aurat par hath nahi utha sakta.

Kaun se area me hota he ye sab?
 
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Dear fellow members,

Though I am not into serial viewing, but yesterday while shifting channels, happened to catch a glimpse of the 'marital rape' in the serial Na Aana iss des Laado. It was repeat telecast and I did not actually understand what was happening, since I am not much aware of the characters there though Ammaji/Meghna Malik, happens to be my close freind. It is for her that I sometimes watch a scene or two.
Then I read this thread and could understand the whole thing.

Some people here might laugh-off such things saying that they have seen only men being beaten at the hands of women and others might support.

Though not so common BUT these things do happen.
And yes, it does happen amongst Jats too.
Also it is not confined to the rural areas, but in the cities too. It is not just the housewife, but people here might be shocked to learn that even the working, financially independent ones are victims too( a Doctor! shocked? yes, she came to me when her Doctor husband beat her up. I can quote more examples.)

BUT it is not that all this happens only among Jats. It happens all over. Yesterday, TOI carried a news of a German who admitted to assaulting, raping 1000 women! He wanted to avenge himself on intelligent women!!! And his punishemnt will be some 15 years only.

I had spoken of 'rule of thumb' in another thread, here I paste that.

The 'rule of thumb' to control women I suppose evolved in England.
I happened to read about it in a book titled "Battered Women".

google 'thumb rule' ... i paste here some of what i got...

It is often claimed that the term originally referred to a law that limited the maximum thickness of a stick with which it was permissible for a man to beat his wife, but this has been discredited.[1][3] British common law before the reign of Charles II permitted a man to give his wife "moderate correction", but no "rule of thumb" (whether called by this name or not) has ever been the law in England.
....Nonetheless, belief in the existence of a "rule of thumb" law to excuse spousal abuse can be traced as far back as 1782, the year that James Gillray published his satirical cartoon Judge Thumb. The cartoon lambastes Sir Francis Buller, a British judge, for allegedly ruling that a man may legally beat his wife, provided that he used a stick no thicker than his thumb,

.... In the United States, legal decisions in Mississippi (1824) and North Carolina (1868 and 1874) make reference to—and reject—an unnamed "old doctrine" or "ancient law" by which a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no wider than his thumb.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do we so often get to read of sexual abuse of girls as young as 3-4 years? In cities, in rural areas, it happens everywhere. Why? Kisiko paap nahi lagta?

I will write more on this later. I need to go now.

regards,
bharti.
 
No denying in the fact that it does happen but I dont think it(wife beating) happens in more than, lets say, 10% cases. But saying that its a common thing among Jats or other Indian community is grossly wrong. Even going by history and Hindustani culture these lines were often said and quoted "Auroton par to hath bujdil uthate hen", Auraton par hath uthana hamari sanskriti/sabahyta ke khilaf he". I dont see any reference in our mythology or cultural text(apart from son of rakshas) where there are such examples. It was more common in Islamic cultures and in some Western cultures. May be some people got this from foreign cultures but definitely it is not our culture.


This thumb rule or any other such rule has no reference in our history(pre-mughal), I believe. Woman had high,enviable place as can be seen in Vedic references.
 
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Dear Vipin,
At least I did not say that it is a common thing amongst Jats. But whatever be the percentage(probably we would never even know the actual one since such cases are not reported), such things do happen around us.

regards,
bharti.
 
scsheorayan said:
While there is no denying that India has made progress economically and level of education. Girls are doing very well academically and professionally. They are soure of pride and have major influence on next generation. Have they earned their rightful place in society or are they being treated unfairly ? How progressive are Jats of to-day ?

Following link shows dark side of our society which is a cause for concern.

http://www.indiatimes.com/women-sla...-tv/Husband-rapes-wife/photostory/6652130.cms

What can we do about it ?

Click on the following link and get some awareness on the subject and see what other societies are doing about it.

http://www.whiteribbonday.org.au/

Next ofcourse is an important personal decision. If you feel strongly about it, you can make a difference by standing up against this social scourge.

"Progress of a society is judged from how they value humanity"

There is nothing humane about violence and if it is against one of our own it is shameful.

God be with you
Click to expand...

Sheoran Sahab,

Family is a core unit of society and hence civilization so females are an important part of it. Nature has made man with more aggressive hormones than females. Hence we witnessed numerous wars in the history. A female by nature is not equally aggressive as male. These are natural traits which has both advantage and disadvantage. Title of your thread once in all put men in questionable and blaming position without questiong the *reasons* of violence. Infact ^What^ causes the violence in family must be an important issue. Further , sadly, as you asked, I would like to answer, in the emanicipation/liberation of women, it is not men who are hurdles rather it is her own gender i.e women herself are one of biggest hurdles. Secondaly, in a family violence , men's aggression is usually subtly manipulated by another female which could be mother, sister etc.

Fictional serial which scared you shows matriarchial system in that family which is rarest among jats or whole of north India. Don't buy it, simple, it is stupid. Television is the TRP sea-saw so they have to stirr the emotion of populace to keep it going. Further switch on your television set to realise modern reality through an another programme Emotional Atyachaar. No disclaimer helps actually.

Violence is purely human because it is an important part of expression your feelings and emotions. You can not over rule it with mushy-mushy words.

Like you mentioned in another link of western societies , kindly also notice their percentage of single mothers, divorce rates and teenage abortions. Tagging our system as backward purely in their context is not only foolish but also completely immature. Increasing divorce rates would be an interesting point to discuss in whole North India. What has instigated it?


God doesnt care all these shyts. He has better things to look after.
 
Samarkadian said:
Sheoran Sahab,

Family is a core unit of society and hence civilization so females are an important part of it. Nature has made man with more aggressive hormones than females. Hence we witnessed numerous wars in the history. A female by nature is not equally aggressive as male. These are natural traits which has both advantage and disadvantage. Title of your thread once in all put men in questionable and blaming position without questiong the *reasons* of violence. Infact ^What^ causes the violence in family must be an important issue. Further , sadly, as you asked, I would like to answer, in the emanicipation/liberation of women, it is not men who are hurdles rather it is her own gender i.e women herself are one of biggest hurdles. Secondaly, in a family violence , men's aggression is usually subtly manipulated by another female which could be mother, sister etc.
Violence is purely human because it is an important part of expression your feelings and emotions. You can not over rule it with mushy-mushy words.
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Samar, from the lines in bold from your post, should I assume you support violence against women?
Why blame the mother or the other women in a man's life for manipulations?
Does the man know to maintain a balance between the woman who gives him birth and whose life revolves around none but her children(read son here) AND the other with whom he has to spend rest of his life?
There is always this tussle between wife and mother if the man does not know to strike the balance.
BUT is violence the solution to anything in marital problems???
 
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Samar, from the lines in bold from your post, should I assume you support violence against women?
Why blame the mother or the other women in a man's life for manipulations?
Does the man know to maintain a balance between the woman who gives him birth and whose life revolves around none but her children(read son here) AND the other with whom he has to spend rest of his life?
There is always this tussle between wife and mother if the man does not know to strike the balance.
BUT is violence the solution to anything in marital problems???
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1. Nyah Bharti ji , Don't assume that. It is a natural fact and I brought it up in discussion.

2. When violence is in family then obviously both the parties in family are to be blamed.

3. Men may know or may not know the balance but does the other party [ Mother, Sister, Wife ] knows it? However, like you presecribed balance, shall be practised from both the parties.

4. Violence is not even the problem or solution. It is a symptom of the problem.
 
Samar, as per your facts, men might be more agressive and as per you Violence is purely human because it is an important part of expression of your feelings and emotions.

But have you ever thought how a woman might express her feelings and emotions and how violent she can be? She cannot match the man in physical strength, but the feelings and emotions have to be expressed somewhere. Where? Read this:

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2010/20101001/haryana.htm#7

Mother kills two kids, arrested
Our Correspondent​

Sonepat, September 30
Two children - Mayank (6) and Jiya (4) were strangled to death allegedly by their mother Renu (26) in her house at village Mehandipur last evening. After receiving information of the crime, the police reached the spot and arrested the alleged accused. The police also reportedly recovered a rope and blade allegedly used by her in committing the crime. She was today produced in the court and was remanded in judicial custody for 14 days. In her statement to the police, Renu alleged that she was married about eight years back and she took this extreme step following her torture allegedly by her husband Ranbir and his father and mother.
 
bharti said:
Mother kills two kids, arrested
Our Correspondent​

Sonepat, September 30
Two children - Mayank (6) and Jiya (4) were strangled to death allegedly by their mother Renu (26) in her house at village Mehandipur last evening. After receiving information of the crime, the police reached the spot and arrested the alleged accused. The police also reportedly recovered a rope and blade allegedly used by her in committing the crime. She was today produced in the court and was remanded in judicial custody for 14 days. In her statement to the police, Renu alleged that she was married about eight years back and she took this extreme step following her torture allegedly by her husband Ranbir and his father and mother.
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Not justified or can say a stupid argument !

If this can be justified then someone can claim that he beats his wife because his boss humiliate him in office or a neighbor use to beat him in the street.
 
I am not justifying anything here and I dont need to either.
Call it coincidence or whatever, this thread for discussion and this violent news came around same time/days.
This made me think, could this be the way a woman would express herself?
Yes, my interpretation of the news might be stupid. Cannot rule that out.
 
Originally posted by Bharti :

Samar, from the lines in bold from your post, should I assume you support violence against women?
Why blame the mother or the other women in a man's life for manipulations?
Does the man know to maintain a balance between the woman who gives him birth and whose life revolves around none but her children(read son here) AND the other with whom he has to spend rest of his life?
There is always this tussle between wife and mother if the man does not know to strike the balance.
BUT is violence the solution to anything in marital problems???
Click to expand...

For a man, it is an uphill task to strike a balance between two ladies – be it mother and wife, wife and sister, wife and sister-in-law or any other lady. In most of the cases, violence against women in our society, especially in joint families, is provoked by women themselves against each other out of jealousy, lack of education and a narrow & individualistic outlook. Mothers become so obsessive about their sons that they do not want to share them with any other woman (read wife here). Exceptions apart, majority of modern wives have a tendency to dump their ‘outdated’ mothers-in-law after short-lived bonhomie and want to get rid of them on the first opportunity. In some cases violence could be the result of husband’s frustration, poverty and suspicion too. The incidence of violence has no correlation with any particular caste or clan. It knows no boundaries. It all depends on one’s level of consciousness and the environment prevailing around us. In my assessment, the incidence of wife beating has been decimating at faster rate over the years due to spread of education and the families getting more and more nuclear.
 
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vpsingh said:
For a man, it is an uphill task to strike a balance between two ladies – be it mother and wife, wife and sister, wife and sister-in-law or any other lady. In most of the cases, violence against women in our society, especially in joint families, is provoked by women themselves against each other out of jealousy, lack of education and a narrow & individualistic outlook. Mothers become so obsessive about their sons that they do not want to share them with any other woman (read wife here). Exceptions apart, majority of modern wives have a tendency to dump their ‘outdated’ mothers-in-law after short-lived bonhomie and want to get rid of them on the first opportunity. In some cases violence could be the result of husband’s frustration, poverty and suspicion too. The incidence of violence has no correlation with any particular caste or clan. It knows no boundaries. It all depends on one’s level of consciousness and the environment prevailing around us. In my assessment, the incidence of wife beating has been decimating at faster rate over the years due to spread of education and the families getting more and more nuclear.
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VP ji pahali baar mey aapki post ko 100% samarthan detaa hun.
 
Vijay Pal Ji,
Bahut hi badiya likha aapne oor yeh bilkul sachai he lekin sirf aapne parivaar oor ristedaaroon tak hui.Jo chalti car me rape oor khet me kaam karate hue, khet aadi me aate ya jate hue, offices me ikathe kaam kartehue.Shayad hi is masale ka hal ho pawega.
Kai baar to yo ekdam ulta ho ja se.Ladies bhi paisa dheli oor parmotion aadi keliye yo kaam kar de se.Tv me kai baar dikhaya he ki ek ladki ne 6 saadi kar li oor saadi ke doosre din hi mooka milte hi toom-thekari oor paise aadi jo mila lekar chu-mantar oor fir doosre ki talash suru unka bhi to kuch hoona chahiye ye samashiyan bahut gambhir he oor doono side se hi hain.
 
vijay said:
Not justified or can say a stupid argument !

If this can be justified then someone can claim that he beats his wife because his boss humiliate him in office or a neighbor use to beat him in the street.
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Vijay sometime happen, it's called displaced anger . Sometime someone has said something wrong either your boss or the person who is in authority, and then you show your anger to other one instead to that person,.But shall not be to the extent it became murderious, or fatal.

Although it's not my personal experience but sometime tutu maine maine happened between mother & and wife then, wife always brust on their husband. Its need be to balanced.
 
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rakeshdhaka said:
Vijay Pal Ji,
Bahut hi badiya likha aapne oor yeh bilkul sachai he lekin sirf aapne parivaar oor ristedaaroon tak hui.Jo chalti car me rape oor khet me kaam karate hue, khet aadi me aate ya jate hue, offices me ikathe kaam kartehue.Shayad hi is masale ka hal ho pawega.
Kai baar to yo ekdam ulta ho ja se.Ladies bhi paisa dheli oor parmotion aadi keliye yo kaam kar de se.Tv me kai baar dikhaya he ki ek ladki ne 6 saadi kar li oor saadi ke doosre din hi mooka milte hi toom-thekari oor paise aadi jo mila lekar chu-mantar oor fir doosre ki talash suru unka bhi to kuch hoona chahiye ye samashiyan bahut gambhir he oor doono side se hi hain.
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ढाका साहब आपकी बात भी ठीक सै के घर तै बाहर भी औरत हिंसा और यौन शोषण का शिकार होवें सै I पर इसके लिए तो म्हारी कानून वय्वश्था में कठोर दंड का प्रावधान और उसकी सही तामील होनी जरूरी सै I
इसके लिए तो आप जिसे प्रबुद्ध लोगां ने मिलके कोई NGO सा खोलना पडेगा I आपके इस mission में म्हारे जिसे भी आपके साथ हो लेंगे I सरकार पै दबाव सा बनाना पड़ेगाI जहाँ तक ६ (छह) शादियाँ करके पुरुषों का यौन उत्पीड़न करने वाली महिलाओं का सवाल है , तो मेरे ख्याल में ऐसी महिलाओं की संख्या नगण्य है I और पुरुषों की अस्मत को कोई immediate danger का अंदेशा शायद नहीं है
 
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