The parameters that I am basing my scenario on are:
This woman is conscious of the family and its prestige. Please now don't say if she is conscious of family prestige why did she follow the path of LOVE. If any question you may read VPSingh Ji's response.
I won’t say that she shouldn’t have been in LOVE, love is a divine feeling which is beyond all feelings and norms set by society and above all.
This woman is brave but not irresponsible to break away from family ties. Mind you these are the women who don't run away. Shibani, need not MIND me dear as I’ve had enough exposure of knowing such men & women, have worked with plenty of them So which relationship is true the marriage or the love? I’m of an opinion that both of them are incomplete and Ms.X is not just fooling her husband/family/lover but more than that she’s fooling herself, she may not be clear about WHAT ACTUALLY SHE WANTS? Women who run away aren’t not to be seen as criminal at least they chose a path which doesn’t lead them to a wrong destination and then force to change path and get involved in an extramarital affair. Its better to elope with someone rather than forcefully getting married to someone whom one doesn’t love and then find love elsewhere. Matlab sir pe dupatta le kar luk-chupp ke sare karam-kand karo par ghar se bhago mat << this I’m writing as I got shock of my life after knowing illicit close relationship going on for generations but no one needs to walk out of marriage as their unsolicited desires are getting fulfilled UNDER THE COVER?
The person she is married to definitely lacks the basic essence required to make a relation happy like love, care, respect and understanding. Trust is a direct result of these ingredients.”
If the husband lacks EVERYTHING which is the essence of any relationship then Ms.X should find a permanent solace and walk out of this silly relationship as you quoted above”
She had come into contact with a man before she got married where all these ingredients were present therefore very easy to drift away from her partner.
My first scenario was in line with the statement "even after marriage is not a sin if they are able to sustain it without jeopardizing their family equations" in mind. This woman as mentioned is forced into this marriage. She has taken initiative and approached her family that every respectable and responsible person is expected to do but unfortunately wasn't considered. This woman is not going to take extreme step of eloping or getting married without the consent of her family.
I have no where said that loving someone after marriage is a SIN. It’s just so much out of context rather contradictory if we go by Ms.X’s fulfillment of desires in love n marriage. Someone who wasn’t brave before marriage has got the heart to go out of the way and realized the shortcomings of her husband after even having kids? Fair chances are that if her husband had all those qualities she would be happily carrying on and wouldn’t give a DAMN with whom she was OH SO MUCH IN LOVE? Pretending to be a wife/ mother/ happily married is something that I can’t digest if she is wooing around someone else.
"Dil pe Pather" easy said then done. Baaki a part of the process started by marrying Mr.X. If this women is still thinking about the past gone by one major reason to that is an essential essence required in a successful marriage is missing. If her heart still beats for someone else there is deficiency in the relation.
Dil pe pathar rakhna should not be that difficult for Ms.X as she ALREADY did that by marrying a guy whom she doesn’t love and is such a mismatch for her that has forced her to take an extreme step of involving into an extramarital affair.
Sorry, I don’t have any sympathy towards such women or men, A classmate of mine was FORCED into marriage by her family but she was brave enough not to carry burden of this marriage and after she completed her studies she filed for a divorce and she got it and their marriage was termed as “NO MARRIAGE” as they never stayed like a couple. Now she is happily married with a son n a husband of her choice who doesn’t lack “SOMETHING” that the former husband lacked. I appreciate her attitude and steps taken to walk out of a dead n suffocating relationship.
Mark my words she is fulfilling all her responsibilities and only then seek something for her own happiness. IMO she has every right to her happiness. If the husband finds out he should reflect on himself and take on the challenge not by divorcing her but making positive changes.
Shibani I'll not be judgmental in case of Ms.X...rather I would suggest that Ms.X should talk to her husband amicably discuss what he lacks rather than acting silly in love and wait for her husband to find out and change himself...In a relationship like marriage most of the time couples never take a step to discuss things in a broader perspective, be it mutual love/ respect or physical love.May be what she finds more attractive in her lover with whom she is ready to break trust/faith can be found in her husband too. Now, the chances are that Ms.X's former lover might as well lack some quality, which you may also agree as NO ONE is perfect and he's definitely not Shree Krishan- 16 kala Sampoorn or Shree Ram Chandra as even they lacked certain qualities for which we criticize them too....There are some qualities which are basic human traits and other personality traits can be developed or brushed up by taking some good personality development trainings or seeking help of psychiatrist. If Ms.X's lover and husband's deportment has a drastic difference which is affecting their "COMPATIBILITY" then I strongly feel this personality test and a thorough understanding should have been done before getting married or say during the courtship period.
Performing social responsibilities and being a good wife/mother/ daughter-in-law and doing all the routine chores doesn't give Ms X a RIGHT to get involved with someone just because her husband lacks something what she fancies in her former lover. Does it?
Sunita what is negative to you is the only positive to this woman. She lacks an understanding family and husband. The vacuum created is fulfilled by this man. Therefore the reason to be happy, look forward to life and be strong because someone is always holding her hand.
Something negative to me might be positive to n number of women or vice versa but I am of an opinion that STRENGTH comes from within yeah moral support can be sought from external sources and for that too the source doesn’t necessarily have to be AN EX-LOVER.
P.S.- Love/affection/dedication/devotion are virues that differ from person to person we can't fix any criteria for that....if someone has guts n feel to love an ex-lover let it be but performing daily chores shouldn't be a qualifying criteria to for an extra marital affair
एक दो थ्रेअड्स में तलवारों की खन-खनाहट अब भी हलकी सी सुनाई दे जाती है N i JUST SMILE