Live in relationships ..?

Are you in favour of Live-in relationships

  • yes

    Votes: 17 16.8%

  • no

    Votes: 77 76.2%

  • may be yes..may be no

    Votes: 7 6.9%
  • Total voters
    101
Arvindc said:
That's exactly what the LIR is for. Jab tak sath rahengai nahin tab tak kaise pata chalega ki ek dursre ka sath pasand hai ya nahi?

Jab rah kar dheklenge tab parents ko bula kar shaadi karlenge, ye drama kahan hai, life partener banane ek tarika hai. One just need the right intent, objective and view.
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Arvind Ji, one question for you. just think, you know a girl who was in live-in relationship with one of your friend. But they finally break-up as the boy was bad & left the girl. Now you know that girl was good, but boy was bad & they are separate. you are sure that you will have 100% compatibility with that girl. can you marry that girl?

I could have asked you the same question as I asked to my friend in ILP, but I do not want to hurt your feelings in any way. Still if you feel that my question hurts you, please forgive me and accept my apologies for the same.

My only intend to ask is that if you can marry that girl then you are justifying your statement given above.
 
If Live In relationship is so great, then why western societies have more divorces than countries like India(Known for its rich culture). We are witnessing more Live In Relationship(Prevalent in Urban Society) in India and we are witnessing a surge in divorce cases(In Urban Areas)!

P.S: I fully agree with Rakesh's view point in this thread !
atishmohan said:
Divorce Rate In India

Divorce rates in India are amongst the lowest in the world. 11 marriages out of 1,000 marriages (around 1 marriage out of 100 marriages) ends up to divorce in India. This figure was even low in 1990. In 1990, 7.40 marriages out of 1,000 marriages ended up in divorce in India.
The divorce rate in India is even quite lower in the villages in India and higher in urban parts of India.

These days divorce rates in India’s urban sphere are shooting up.

Some facts from CIA Worldbook for comparison with US
--Divorce rates
US - 50%
India - 1.1%

PS: Please do not criticize Indian society every time! Its not that bad!
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In hunting and nomadic period, before civilisation, there wasnt any marriage, no social approvals since the sociaty wasnot organised, The society started interfering/helping in life of an individual after 2000 BC, Even in the best of well net societies one can find some people uncomfortable in the society and some may dare to defy certain norms and ready to face after effects of their actions. Similarly, social customs, rules, morality, honesty, etc are generally applicable to middle class, nothing effects the very rich and very poor, thus, like in the period before civilisation, activities like live in relations didnot matter much, similarly in the period of so called over civilised/over educated, such things donot matter much. The financial independence is not the only reason for such attitude/happenings and if son become financial independent than should he stop respecting/lookingafter his parents. Respect to social customs donot depends only on your economical condition. However, along with the generation under question, the parents and the society itself is to be blamed. I feel in present day, the society, the family, the customs etc has been pushed back due to lack of knowledge of the subject, lack of spiritual education, lack of self confidence among the new generation, over competition in all walks of life, over selfishness and uncotrolable desire. The best option I consider is every individual must try to listen to voice of his/her soul and go ahead.
 
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[ The best option I consider is every individual must try to listen to voice of his/her soul and go ahead.[/QUOTE]

फेर समाज की के जरूत रह जा गी ?
 
Arvindc said:
That's exactly what the LIR is for. Jab tak sath rahengai nahin tab tak kaise pata chalega ki ek dursre ka sath pasand hai ya nahi?

Jab rah kar dheklenge tab parents ko bula kar shaadi karlenge, ye drama kahan hai, life partener banane ek tarika hai. One just need the right intent, objective and view.
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जवान लड़का लडकी एक छत के नीचे सहवास करें और और अपनी-अपनी अस्मत को बचाए रखें, यह गैर मुमकिन है I अगर यह सहवास शादी में तब्दील नहीं हुआ तो लड़के का शायद ज्यादा नुक्सान ना भी हो परन्तु उस सेकंड-हैण्ड लडकी को पत्नी के रूप में स्वीकार करने वाले दिलदार बहुत कम मिलेंगे I हाँ जब तक लडकी के चेहरे पर चमक है झूठे और मतलबी हमदर्द बहुत मिलेंगे परन्तु सच्चे जीवन साथी शायद नहीं I इसलिए ये compatibility को नापने का नायाब तरीका व्यवहारिक नहीं है I यह तो लडकी का मामला है लोग तो सेकंड हैण्ड गाडी लेते हुए भी झिझकते हैं I
इस सब के बावजूद अगर कोई LIR-Return से शादी का जोखिम उठाता है तो कुछ सालों के बाद दोनों के होंठों पर बस यही मशहूर नज़्म होगी...

मेरे हमराह भी रुस्वाइयां हैं मेरे माज़ी की
तुम्हारे साथ भी गुज़री हुई रातों के साये हैं
तुम्हे भी कोई उलझन रोकती है पेश कदमी से
मुझे भी लोग कहते हैं कि ये ज़लवे पराये हैं

और फिर सब कुछ अश्रुधारा में विलीन हो जायेगा I चिड़िया खेत को चुग जाएगी और आप रोते रह जायेंगे I
 
urmiladuhan said:
Why is the respect and regard for Joint Family system eroding in Indian Society, where majority of the marriages are arranged marriages?
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Urmila ji
do u think that getting marriad is the reason behind this erding patteren of jiont family sys and LIR is the solution to get back the glory of joint family sys.
from my side big NO
my 2 cents on the topic

I firmly believe that this LIR funda is jut limited to sex

Those , who have a fear of getting divorced after marriage, try this LIR. They find themselves somehow in shelter against that fear of a bad marriage / divorced life. I consider them Weak personalities.

The main moto behind LIR is “live for yourself not for others” however for marriage, it is “I am here for you”

LIR is live till basic needs(mainly sex) of both the indls meets. It is a high tech prostitution only, nothing else. BUT I m sure that married couple have far better sex life than these LIR couples. Frequency may be more but they are less likely to say, they enjoy it. Because love is not there and of course love & sex is basically connected

Arguing that this is good before marriage to find the compatibility is totally wrong. It is just like to have a test drive for a car before buying it.
 
sanjeev_balyan said:
Urmila ji

Arguing that this is good before marriage to find the compatibility is totally wrong. It is just like to have a test drive for a car before buying it.
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फेर बेरा ने कितन्ने बन्दे टेस्ट ड्राइव कर के जांदे रहंगे ?
 
sanjeev_balyan said:
Urmila ji
do u think that getting marriad is the reason behind this erding patteren of jiont family sys and LIR is the solution to get back the glory of joint family sys.
from my side big NO
my 2 cents on the topic

I firmly believe that this LIR funda is jut limited to sex

Those , who have a fear of getting divorced after marriage, try this LIR. They find themselves somehow in shelter against that fear of a bad marriage / divorced life. I consider them Weak personalities.

The main moto behind LIR is “live for yourself not for others” however for marriage, it is “I am here for you”

LIR is live till basic needs(mainly sex) of both the indls meets. It is a high tech prostitution only, nothing else. BUT I m sure that married couple have far better sex life than these LIR couples. Frequency may be more but they are less likely to say, they enjoy it. Because love is not there and of course love & sex is basically connected

Arguing that this is good before marriage to find the compatibility is totally wrong. It is just like to have a test drive for a car before buying it.
Click to expand...

After reading majority of the replies on the topic, I am convinced that LIR requires a certain level of maturity which an upbringing in an Indian society perhaps does not impart to its individuals. It is mostly seen as a "fun" thing done by 'irresponsible' individuals. Most of the people who are against it seems to have seen limited choice in their life.
 
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urmiladuhan said:
after reading majority of the replies on the topic, i am convinced that lir requires a certain level of maturity which an upbringing in an indian society perhaps does not impart to its individuals. It is mostly seen as a "fun" thing done by 'irresponsible' individuals. most of the people who are against it seems to have seen limited choice in their life.
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शर्म अर समाज ने मानें सें | ना ते चोआइस ते खिंडी-खिंडी हंडे सें |
 
bhupindersingh said:
Arvind Ji, one question for you. just think, you know a girl who was in live-in relationship with one of your friend. But they finally break-up as the boy was bad & left the girl. Now you know that girl was good, but boy was bad & they are separate. you are sure that you will have 100% compatibility with that girl. can you marry that girl?

I could have asked you the same question as I asked to my friend in ILP, but I do not want to hurt your feelings in any way. Still if you feel that my question hurts you, please forgive me and accept my apologies for the same.

My only intend to ask is that if you can marry that girl then you are justifying your statement given above.
Click to expand...

That's a good question. It needs to be pondered upon by those who are thinking of getting into LIR.

In my case, when I got married, I had limited knowledge of LIR and western culture in general. That knowledge portrayed the "western" society (I thought of it as culture-less as my own culture was the only culture I knew, I saw and I believed) as full of all the wrong doings. Coupled with this was a blind faith on "Hindustani culture", the cultural image that was formed in childhood days of my village, years ago. The image that got carried, secured, without alteration, for years and years, blind of the ground realities that changed with time.

Things changed as I matured further, as I traveled more, interacted more with different people, with different cultures both within and outside the country. My beliefs and images were challenged by the 'real' facts that I saw, I heard and experienced. I began to realize that cultures are "cultures". They are not about what is "right" and what is "wrong".

LIR is being widely practiced in US and other developed countries for a long time now, it must be giving some "value", some "use" to "them", otherwise it would have died on it's own.

It is a fact that the Indian society, as a whole, is shifting to an individualistic and capitalistic structure similar the western one. Wouldn't this change also bring with it a new set of problems and a new set of needs? Wouldn't people look at the western world for the solutions? With this change, wouldn't the cultural or social methods also change?
LIR, is not about "right" or "wrong", rather it's about a need, a particular solution to a problem.
 
ravinder uncle...........duniya pe te k lena>>>>>khul k jilo....ya zindgi wapsi n mildi kade.....jiyo j bharke
:)
 
In promiscuous societies, is it believable that a couple cohabits just for a physical relationship without commitment or responsibility?
What is wrong- the concept of cohabitation or that cohabitation does not fit in with our own perception/society/culture/gender hypocrisy?
If we accept that it is in man's basal nature to be the way he is, wouldn't then Islam be the best guide to live your life?
Take an example-Anil Ambani married Tina Munim, a woman who had an affair with Sanjay Dutt and Live-in with Rajesh Khanna. And that too with pomp and show and great publicity. The low class is too busy in every-day survival. Is the culture/heritage/values limited only to middle class, or just the hypocrisy that middle class has in abundance?

Do I believe in live-in relationships? Well, each one to one self, and one pays for one's own deeds. An instance of happy marriage does not mean All marriages are happy, and an instance of unhappy live-in relationship does not mean All live-in relationships are unhappy.
 
How is a live-in relationship related to divorce? What is the likelihood of divorce when no marriage has taken place?
Unless the reasoning is that - a partner finds out that his/her spouse had a live-in relationship with someone else before marriage. And of course, a woman will accept the husband's past, but the husband cannot forgive his wife's past. So the divorce is most probably initiated by the grieving husband...right?
atishmohan said:
If Live In relationship is so great, then why western societies have more divorces than countries like India(Known for its rich culture). We are witnessing more Live In Relationship(Prevalent in Urban Society) in India and we are witnessing a surge in divorce cases(In Urban Areas)!

P.S: I fully agree with Rakesh's view point in this thread !
Click to expand...
 
annch said:
How is a live-in relationship related to divorce? What is the likelihood of divorce when no marriage has taken place?
Unless the reasoning is that - a partner finds out that his/her spouse had a live-in relationship with someone else before marriage. And of course, a woman will accept the husband's past, but the husband cannot forgive his wife's past. So the divorce is most probably initiated by the grieving husband...right?
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All I can say here is that we are not mature to accept the Live In relationship in our society.
 
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VP Sir, the writer of the nazm is a man I presume. :)
Many a times my sympathy has been with the man when a relationship has failed.
vpsingh said:
इस सब के बावजूद अगर कोई LIR-Return से शादी का जोखिम उठाता है तो कुछ सालों के बाद दोनों के होंठों पर बस यही मशहूर नज़्म होगी...

मेरे हमराह भी रुस्वाइयां हैं मेरे माज़ी की
तुम्हारे साथ भी गुज़री हुई रातों के साये हैं
तुम्हे भी कोई उलझन रोकती है पेश कदमी से
मुझे भी लोग कहते हैं कि ये ज़लवे पराये हैं

और फिर सब कुछ अश्रुधारा में विलीन हो जायेगा I चिड़िया खेत को चुग जाएगी और आप रोते रह जायेंगे I
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Har ek samaj ke apne reeti-reevaj hote hai.. Koe unse hatkar kuch alag karne ka prayas karta/karti hai to Virodh hona swabhavik hai!
LIR is still very new to Indian culture, mostly seen in cities like Gurgaon, Mumbai, Bangalore jaha par kisi ko ye farak nahi padta ki hmare pados me kon rahta hai or kya karta hai.. Agar pata chal jata hai ki samne wale Flat me ladka-ladki Live-in me rahte hai to apne ghar ke ander apas me unki burayi karke chup ho jayenge. Hmare samaj me LIR ek burayi ke roop me dekha jata hai kyuki vivah poorv ladka-ladki ka ek sath rahna naetikta ke anoorup nahi hai.
 
Are western contries happy with the system and culture they are following now a days?
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