Add An "ADDI-TUDE" in your life:)

[sunitahooda]

There's a story about a woman who did not keep a tidy house. One day someone gave her a beautiful rose which she brought home and put in a vase in her lobby. The rose, though, showed up the vase which was tarnished and dusty, so she polished the vase and set the rose and vase on the table.

But now something was wrong with the table. It looked terrible. It had to be cleaned as well. At last the woman stood back and admired the sparkling table, the polished vase, and the beautiful rose.

But to her dismay, the whole lobby and House now seemed dull and murky. Before she knew it, she found herself scrubbing the walls, washing the curtains, and opening the windows to let light and air into every dark corner.

We all deserve best. For achieving that we need to do some changes in our attitude, our mind sets, our life style etc. I

If you make one small change in your life, light up one small corner, in no time your whole life can take on a different look. If you're dissatisfied with your life at this point, give some serious consideration to that one area you could change.

By having a "RIGHT" attitude we can not only change our lives but many lives of those around us. You are requested to "EXPRESS" atleast one thing " YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF" and similarly "SOMETHING" that you want to change in any of your friend/ colleague/ wife/ parents/ brother/ sister etc.

I wish to change my habit of "JUMPING onto conclusions" as many times i tend to do mistakes and judge wrongly

 

[bhavnasingh20]

There's a story about a woman who did not keep a tidy house. One day someone gave her a beautiful rose which she brought home and put in a vase in her lobby. The rose, though, showed up the vase which was tarnished and dusty, so she polished the vase and set the rose and vase on the table.

But now something was wrong with the table. It looked terrible. It had to be cleaned as well. At last the woman stood back and admired the sparkling table, the polished vase, and the beautiful rose.

But to her dismay, the whole lobby and House now seemed dull and murky. Before she knew it, she found herself scrubbing the walls, washing the curtains, and opening the windows to let light and air into every dark corner.

We all deserve best. For achieving that we need to do some changes in our attitude, our mind sets, our life style etc. I

If you make one small change in your life, light up one small corner, in no time your whole life can take on a different look. If you're dissatisfied with your life at this point, give some serious consideration to that one area you could change.

By having a "RIGHT" attitude we can not only change our lives but many lives of those around us. You are requested to "EXPRESS" atleast one thing " YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF" and similarly "SOMETHING" that you want to change in any of your friend/ colleague/ wife/ parents/ brother/ sister etc.

I wish to change my habit of "JUMPING onto conclusions" as many times i tend to do mistakes and judge wrongly

after a really long time m reading somethin very nice on JL....

thank u so much for starting this thread ....

well i wish to change my habit of hanging onto things for too long......in the end it only disturbs my peace of mind n affects me adversely......

 

[navingulia]

great!
self analysis is necessary always regularly
solutions to all our woes are inside us, while we keep hunting outside

Sunita, just like your example of rose, i thing from among the meaningless fights and arguments and personal grudges.......the rose of understanding, intellectualism, purpose and good is making its presence felt on Jatland and gaining space (something once considered impossible). makes me feel so glad.

 

[sunitahooda]

Bhavna thanks for your kind words.
Now in context to your wish of bringing change in yourself. I also used to suffer from thisBut gradually i started giving a consideration and asking myself IS IT really worth the aggravation i'm taking? and it would ease out my heart when i get an answer from "WITHIN" saying NO it isn't.

Decision is ours so we should hang on to things that make us happy and try to let go that makes us unhappy But mustn't waste too much of positive energy on things that are not even WORTH GIVING A GLANCE

after a really long time m reading somethin very nice on JL....

thank u so much for starting this thread ....

well i wish to change my habit of hanging onto things for too long......in the end it only disturbs my peace of mind n affects me adversely......

 

[jyotikohar]

thnku bebe .............jo tanne yo nek kam karya kimme apne bhetar jhakan tayi jhakjhora................manne tae apne me sab tae baddi kamjori apna temper lagya kare............bina soche vichare mere choh uth ja arr 5 minute baad jib utre jib nu lagge ya kimme baat thi?

so just want to control my anger..................

 

[bhavnasingh20]

Bhavna thanks for your kind words.
Now in context to your wish of bringing change in yourself. I also used to suffer from thisBut gradually i started giving a consideration and asking myself IS IT really worth the aggravation i'm taking? and it would ease out my heart when i get an answer from "WITHIN" saying NO it isn't.

Decision is ours so we should hang on to things that make us happy and try to let go that makes us unhappy But mustn't waste too much of positive energy on things that are not even WORTH GIVING A GLANCE

well u r ofcourse completely right when u say this.....

but then u know its most difficult to actually b able to realize negative things abt urself n then work to get rid of them.....

but yes i hav been trying this approach n m proud to say tht hav been successful to some extent too.......

but really...thank u for ur advice....really appreciate it

 

[anilsinghd]

Want to change myself to become more blunt , more st raight forward.
Dont know it that would do more good than bad !

But it ain't easy to keep everyone happy!

 

[navingulia]

In the right quantity it is needed, to be able to focus yourself and channelise your energy, you need to make it clear at the earliest what you would prefer to work on/talk about
its like the pinch of iodene our body needs,,,,, in the right amount? very necessary

Want to change myself to become more blunt , more st raight forward.
Dont know it that would do more good than bad !

But it ain't easy to keep everyone happy!

 

[vijay]

You are requested to "EXPRESS" atleast one thing " YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF" and similarly "SOMETHING" that you want to change in any of your friend/ colleague/ wife/ parents/ brother/ sister etc.

I wish to change my habit of "JUMPING onto conclusions" as many times i tend to do mistakes and judge wrongly

I want to change one thing in myself .... it's very hard for me to say "NO".

"No" seems quite a harsh word to me and it was my opinion that nice people should not say "no" to anyone. Some time or other i involved myself in the things i didn't wanted to. If i had said "NO" i would have saved myself from so many unnecessory troubles and their outcome.

After analyzing myself again and again i have realized that sometimes saying "no" is not that bad. Infact sometimes it helps a lot and can save you from so many unwanted circumstances.

I hope it would work for the good.

 

[sunitahooda]

Why do u want to be like what i'd been and regrettingif you are still persistent then leta agree to teach each other, please teach me how to be humble(bas thodi si hi) and i'll teach you how to be blunt But then as Navin said you should know how much blunt you ought to be ....na to paap se bojh tai ooney marr jagaguilty feeling nahi aani chahiye fer Being too humble or too blunt wont be any good

Want to change myself to become more blunt , more st raight forward.
Dont know it that would do more good than bad !

But it ain't easy to keep everyone happy!

 

[sunitahooda]

Sooner you come out of this habit...batter it'll be Vijay. I feel a "NO" said politely is as good as a "YES" said rudely.

Happened with me many times that i would not JUST SAY NO to my friends and would make me to waste long hours in doing something(shopping) a actually didn't want to e involved in.

Especially, a friend of mine damn good in using other's time and resources and she used to catch me many times Once I wanted her to come to a temple where i went for a pooja and she wanted me to come to a parlour.It actually surprised her when i told her>>>>Why should i come and watch you getting your cracked heels and dirty nails pedicured? BUT i said it with a SMILE in my voice and she didn't feel bad.

So CHOOSE something that pleases you as well as others you want to please, if you don't enjoy doing what you said a "YES" for then a "NO" would have been a better option.

I want to change one thing in myself .... it's very hard for me to say "NO".

"No" seems quite a harsh word to me and it was my opinion that nice people should not say "no" to anyone. Some time or other i involved myself in the things i didn't wanted to. If i had said "NO" i would have saved myself from so many unnecessory troubles and their outcome.

After analyzing myself again and again i have realized that sometimes saying "no" is not that bad. Infact sometimes it helps a lot and can save you from so many unwanted circumstances.

I hope it would work for the good.

 

[anilsinghd]

Why do u want to be like what i'd been and regrettingif you are still persistent then leta agree to teach each other, please teach me how to be humble(bas thodi si hi) and i'll teach you how to be blunt But then as Navin said you should know how much blunt you ought to be ....na to paap se bojh tai ooney marr jagaguilty feeling nahi aani chahiye fer Being too humble or too blunt wont be any good

I dont know but i fear for people's emotions. Its hard for me to see pain and miseries for people. I believe I can do better and more and comfort/help them rather than telling them straight on what ought to be.
Falls in my theory of expecting more from myself , so i keep doing. Though I am not sure for how long will i be able to continue ?

 

[poonamchaudhary]

If i have to change something about myself... well there can be many things perhaps that need to be changed but i think it will be my restlessness and inconsistency that tops the list. My desire to get more than what i have sometimes makes me unhappy and so should be moderated. And i would rather moderate these things than change them entirely because they are not bad in themselves its their excess which is bad.

 

[spdeshwal]

Why do u want to be like what i'd been and regrettingif you are still persistent then leta agree to teach each other, please teach me how to be humble(bas thodi si hi) and i'll teach you how to be blunt But then as Navin said you should know how much blunt you ought to be ....na to paap se bojh tai ooney marr jagaguilty feeling nahi aani chahiye fer Being too humble or too blunt wont be any good

I want to change one thing in myself .... it's very hard for me to say "NO".

"No" seems quite a harsh word to me and it was my opinion that nice people should not say "no" to anyone. Some time or other i involved myself in the things i didn't wanted to. If i had said "NO" i would have saved myself from so many unnecessory troubles and their outcome.

After analyzing myself again and again i have realized that sometimes saying "no" is not that bad. Infact sometimes it helps a lot and can save you from so many unwanted circumstances.

I hope it would work for the good.

Vijay, it is very very common problem, with people as Anil said the emotional type who don't want to hurt or offend friends and relatives by saying "No'
I have read a very nice book on the subject, titled " Don't say Yes When You Want to say No" It is wonderful book with real life examples.

In fact, it is not only you, Anil or a few of us but many of us have this weakness of too much of meekness to get carried away easily. Most of the times, the pushy type friends do this unknowingly and wouldn't mind or feel bad if told "no' for an unreasonable favour or demand! Sunita ji has rightly said that they should be told politely but firmly.

I have this problem of 'delaying and postponing' things. It is very usual with me that i fall prey to this habit of procrastination and that affects not only me but people related to me as well, specially the kids. This type of behavior influences the young ones very easily! They also start making excuses for postponing things, actions! It is also true that,whenever I have made some efforts to overcome this my general efficiency has improved.


Cheers!

 

[sunitahooda]

Deshwal Ji i cant explain how much i hate this red word in your quote....i was about to accept my worst negative point ....par fer sharam si aagi akk kade ghani kami na batayi jaaPlease batai kuch points to overcome this problemmanne to saari haan oye mogrra thaye paachey chahiye kimme kaam karwan tayi

P.S. Also the author of the book you mentioned above

I have this problem of 'delaying and postponing' things. It is very usual with me that i fall prey to this habit of procrastination and that affects not only me but people related to me as well, specially the kids..


Cheers!

 

[sunitahooda]

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"I'm sure that this kind of quote gives a feeling of happiness to some, while it leaves with BIG ?mark the others, some rather jump on with sudden rush of the blood that has got an unusual palpation in veins of positive excitement. This might give momentary motivation to few, good start to few to do help the needy/poor and some might just shrug their shoulders and whine asking their selves or even other "WHY DO WE NEED TO HELP OTHERS" and another quote comes in mind" GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES"but i know there are many people around us who want to help, do good for others, who feel other's pain but what they lack is THAT FIRST STEP to put forward or a help in pulling them towards their GOAL or someone who can help them to realize their wishes/dreams and to give them a good directionHelp doesn't have to be "MONETARY" it can be in so many ways and "HELP" is not a simple 4 letter word, believe me it can make someone's life or ruin it IF not helped in time. So even if you can give a counsel and extend some relief to a grieved soul, it would be biggest help

 

[anilsinghd]

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"I'm sure that this kind of quote gives a feeling of happiness to some, while it leaves with BIG ?mark the others, some rather jump on with sudden rush of the blood that has got an unusual palpation in veins of positive excitement. This might give momentary motivation to few, good start to few to do help the needy/poor and some might just shrug their shoulders and whine asking their selves or even other "WHY DO WE NEED TO HELP OTHERS" and another quote comes in mind" GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES"but i know there are many people around us who want to help, do good for others, who feel other's pain but what they lack is THAT FIRST STEP to put forward or a help in pulling them towards their GOAL or someone who can help them to realize their wishes/dreams and to give them a good directionHelp doesn't have to be "MONETARY" it can be in so many ways and "HELP" is not a simple 4 letter word, believe me it can make someone's life or ruin it IF not helped in time. So even if you can give a counsel and extend some relief to a grieved soul, it would be biggest help

Is that something you want to add in your self ?

I am sure this can be a good topic for discussion on why and then how of things talked in the paragraph!

 

[spdeshwal]

Deshwal Ji i cant explain how much i hate this red word in your quote....i was about to accept my worst negative point ....par fer sharam si aagi akk kade ghani kami na batayi jaaPlease batai kuch points to overcome this problemmanne to saari haan oye mogrra thaye paachey chahiye kimme kaam karwan tayi

P.S. Also the author of the book you mentioned above

Sunita ji , am sorry for the belated reply!

The authors of the book are Herbert Phd Fensterheim and Jean Bear

You may waite for a week and I might find and present it to you!

आपने, खुले तौर से सवीकार कर, आधी लडाई जीत ली है ! इसका मतलब है आप इमानदारी से अपनी इस कमजोरी से उभरना चाहती हैं !

मै स्वयं इस बुरी आदत से झुन्झता रहा हूँ , और सम्बंधित साहित्य खरीद पड़ता रहा हूँ !
शिव खेडा की लिखी पुस्तक 'जीत आपकी' से प्रेरित हो अपनी कमजोरी को स्वीकार करने और इस दूर करने की दिसा में प्रयास सवरूप , पुस्तक एक कोरे पृष्ठ पर , ८ साल पहले मैंने अपने बारे में ये लिखा था :
१) में काम करने में , खास कर नया काम शुरू करने में ताल मटोल करता रहता हूँ
२) में फटाफट नतीजे की आशा रख कर कोई काम शुरू करता हूँ
३) कई बार विचारों में घंटों में खोया रहता हूँ और समय बरबाद करता हूँ १
4) किसी काम या विषय का अभ्यास कम करता हूँ और वांछित नतीजा न दिखने पर अधुरा छोड़ देता हूँ !
असफल होने पर गुस्सा करता हूँ , खीज दूसरो पर निकलता हूँ
५) कोई भी काम पूरी प्लानिंग से नही करता !
६) किसी भी रिश्तेदार , दोस्त से मन मुताबिक सहायता न मिलने पर नाता तोड़ लेता हूँ !
७) अपनी नाकामी को बहुत समय तक अपने लोगो से छिपाए रहता हूँ !
८) ईशवर में विश्वास जरुर है , पर नियम से कभी याद नही किया १
९) कभी परोपकार नही कर सका, किया या कह सकते हैं आदत नही डाली !


और फ़िर इस लिस्ट को मैंने अपनी पत्नी को दिखाया , ताकि वो समय २ पर मुझे चेतावनी दे सके !
में गर्व से कह सकता हूँ की उसके कुछ अच्छे परिणाम भी निकले थे !
इसका एक नकारात्मक पहलु भी था , मेरी पत्नी को एक स्थाई हथियार ( कि में काम चोर हूँ ..हा हा हा ) मिल गया था , जिसे वो जब कभी मौका मिले इस्तेमाल करने से नही चूकती!


खुश रहो !

 

[dreamer]

hmm ...

Ghani ai kami hain ji ... na likhin jaan urai ... lets try

1. I am really vulnerable at times. Koe chahe bhula puchkaar kai johad mai kuda de, I am really desperate to get rid of this thing.

2. Dangerously short tempered. (bera na kis tra control rah hai office mai shayad piese millain hain isliye na toh roj shir fodu aar fuwaun)

3. Emotionaly Hungry -- Yeah I can cry easily at any given time. At times sharam aati hai, per kya karein, thats what it is..

4. Bohat aachya dil sai kasam tai (per u know gussa saara aisi taisi kar de hai ghani baar .. want my country yeah My Country free from poor and dirty people .. per u know tame hote hue bhi tame nahin sai na .. I mean I dont know wat to do ??? )

Well bhateri hogi hongi ...

 

[sunitahooda]

Deshwal Ji thanks for replying. I'll prefer to wait for a week Though i feel i've overcome from this problem by promising myself to finish the long pending jobs and i've accomplished few V.V.V. Imp jobs.

Also if you could tell how to control over unnecessary emotions. I tend to take decisions by heart not mind And you're right, i ALWAYS accept my mistakes.

Sunita ji , am sorry for the belated reply!

The authors of the book are Herbert Phd Fensterheim and Jean Bear

You may waite for a week and I might find and present it to you!

आपने, खुले तौर से सवीकार कर, आधी लडाई जीत ली है ! इसका मतलब है आप इमानदारी से अपनी इस कमजोरी से उभरना चाहती हैं !

ल गया था , जिसे वो जब कभी मौका मिले इस्तेमाल करने से नही चूकती!


खुश रहो !