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. What you wanna say...??ramksehrawat
New member
Pre-marital relations just for physical pleasures can never be approved of and must be avoided as they usually tend to spoil the later married life. We Indians, especially jats, tend to view friendships between a girl and a boy as affairs. We have to rid ourselves of this mindset. If two friends of opposite sex find themselves compatible, the relation must be nurtured to culminate in marriage as such marriages are mostly successful. People think that love marriages often fails. Yes, the so called love marriages entered into for based on physical attraction usually falls apart but the bond based on intellectual compatibility remain strong till last. Friendship must be encouraged but the so called "Affairs" should be avoided
R
rajeshrathee
Guest
Hi all
Wht is more important is one should differentiate between INFATUATION & LOVE.
Secondly there has to be a distinction between AFFAIR & FRIENDSHIP, all these are different worlds having alltogether different meanings.
The topic is affair before marriage, now if an affair is leading to a marriage wht is the harm. after all love and understanding is the basics of a successful marriage and if these two things are already there then a marriage is bound to be successful.
Now a days time is changing and so are the mindset of the younger generation and I will again say that if a mature guy or girl is given the right to choose the government (i.e right to vote) then why they should not be allowed to choose their soulmate afterall this is their lives and they have evry right to live it the way they want to live. But if the people are more concerned about wht others are doing rather then what they themselves are doing it ups to them BUT U JUST CAN'T DECIDE URSELF WHT IS WRONG OR RIGHT.
Regarding two people having physiacal comfort without marriage i think it is a basic decision between two individuals who are involved though it is morally wrong as per our society but where it is not happening, its happening in villages, towns, metro everywhere
Wht is more important is one should differentiate between INFATUATION & LOVE.
Secondly there has to be a distinction between AFFAIR & FRIENDSHIP, all these are different worlds having alltogether different meanings.
The topic is affair before marriage, now if an affair is leading to a marriage wht is the harm. after all love and understanding is the basics of a successful marriage and if these two things are already there then a marriage is bound to be successful.
Now a days time is changing and so are the mindset of the younger generation and I will again say that if a mature guy or girl is given the right to choose the government (i.e right to vote) then why they should not be allowed to choose their soulmate afterall this is their lives and they have evry right to live it the way they want to live. But if the people are more concerned about wht others are doing rather then what they themselves are doing it ups to them BUT U JUST CAN'T DECIDE URSELF WHT IS WRONG OR RIGHT.
Regarding two people having physiacal comfort without marriage i think it is a basic decision between two individuals who are involved though it is morally wrong as per our society but where it is not happening, its happening in villages, towns, metro everywhere
scsheorayan
Member
Even old timers will agree that every one should have the right to choose life partner. That is only fair. But the issue is not that straight forward and in our society your life is never all yours because of attachments we have with other family members. Traditionally the decision is a joint one where every one is happy with the matrimony of 2 individuals. The problem comes when individuals want to do their own thing and still remain part of the family. It may not always be possible. If you have to choose between your love and family make the decision and live with it without regrets if you can. There are no ifs and buts. You have to be lucky to be envious position to do your own thing against family members wishes and still enjoy the same type of relationship with them. Otherwise it is expected that new ties will affect the old ties adversely if there is no harmony.
The idea of try it before you buy it is not accepted in our society atleast up to now. Who knows about future we may leave western civilisation behind if every one is bent upon reinventing the wheel. No traditional and self respecting Indian / Jat will support the notion of premarital affair. Meeting and knowing the person is not called an affair. In my dictionary affair is when two individuals have established physical relationships (which should not happen before marriage).
Let us call spade a spade and not try to justify our arguements in the name of mdernisation. If you believe in a culture follow the rules and traditions which are based on centuries of experience.
Name Jogi and premarital affair do not match. But then what is in the name ?
The idea of try it before you buy it is not accepted in our society atleast up to now. Who knows about future we may leave western civilisation behind if every one is bent upon reinventing the wheel. No traditional and self respecting Indian / Jat will support the notion of premarital affair. Meeting and knowing the person is not called an affair. In my dictionary affair is when two individuals have established physical relationships (which should not happen before marriage).
Let us call spade a spade and not try to justify our arguements in the name of mdernisation. If you believe in a culture follow the rules and traditions which are based on centuries of experience.
Name Jogi and premarital affair do not match. But then what is in the name ?
R
rajeshrathee
Guest
Sheoryn Sir as per ur dictionary the Meaning of Affair is WRONG. I will request u to change ur dictionary. Let me share with u the word affair is not given by two individual, it is given by the other person(outsiders) to that group.
Will u please tell me who is the best friend of a person in his/her life, who is the one who shares all the downs with a smile , its none else then ur partner, not even your family members will share that much.
Why there should be a compulsion from the family to a younger one. Thora bahut to sabko jhukna hi padega nahi to rigidity se to family tree tutega hi.
Or bhaiyo nahi mante to mat maano agli generation main dekh lena tjab bhudape main bahut taklif hogi.
**(The above are my point of view and the same is not intended to hurt anyone personally, PAR GALAT KO GALAT KAHAN HI JAYEGA)
Will u please tell me who is the best friend of a person in his/her life, who is the one who shares all the downs with a smile , its none else then ur partner, not even your family members will share that much.
Why there should be a compulsion from the family to a younger one. Thora bahut to sabko jhukna hi padega nahi to rigidity se to family tree tutega hi.
Or bhaiyo nahi mante to mat maano agli generation main dekh lena tjab bhudape main bahut taklif hogi.
**(The above are my point of view and the same is not intended to hurt anyone personally, PAR GALAT KO GALAT KAHAN HI JAYEGA)
scsheorayan
Member
Dear Rajesh,
Thank you for your frank posting. First of all let us agree on a definition of Affair. What is the original question ? Affair before marriage what are we talking about here in your opinion ? Once we have the definitions shorted out we will be able to converse more objectively on this subject.
You are right about changing values of younger generation. Not to worry every generation starts young and ends up old gaining some experience on the way. Life is a great teacher and there is no substitute for experience. When we talk about flexiblity usually it is found that more mature the person greater his/her adaptability. It is not the question of who is right or who is wrong. There are always opinions on both sides of an arguement. However what we can not argue with is effect of a cause. If we introduce a cause by the name Affair in our lives whether it is before marriage or after marriage there is absolute certainty that it will have it's consequences.
Here the mention of partener's loyalty is taken for granted but then it is not an affair instead I would call it a healty relationship between husband and wife. That is only one dimension of the personality. Before these two individuals became life parteners they must have had lives with their own family members. No doubt priorities do change after marriage and they should. But one should not expect to be an island because that does not happen in real life. Human beings have multiple dimensions in their lives. At any given time you could be some one's boss, some one's sub-ordinate, some one's son, some one's father, some one's husband. Even though you are one individual but have different dimensions. Most important dimension being time. A person could be successful in one dimension and utter failure in the other one. To be successful and happy in life one has to learn to optimise one's resources to obtain balance in all important dimensions in one's life. In my opinion word affair suggests individual is up to some thing which he/she is going to do without any external consideration. That in turn is going to upset the balance within other dimensions.
There is only so much time and energy an individual has at his/her disposal and more of it is spent in rocking the boat and stabilising it less is available to move forward in life. You can not prevent some one from following the wrong track but can surely warn him/her of consequences. Rest is all destiny.
Thank you for your frank posting. First of all let us agree on a definition of Affair. What is the original question ? Affair before marriage what are we talking about here in your opinion ? Once we have the definitions shorted out we will be able to converse more objectively on this subject.
You are right about changing values of younger generation. Not to worry every generation starts young and ends up old gaining some experience on the way. Life is a great teacher and there is no substitute for experience. When we talk about flexiblity usually it is found that more mature the person greater his/her adaptability. It is not the question of who is right or who is wrong. There are always opinions on both sides of an arguement. However what we can not argue with is effect of a cause. If we introduce a cause by the name Affair in our lives whether it is before marriage or after marriage there is absolute certainty that it will have it's consequences.
Here the mention of partener's loyalty is taken for granted but then it is not an affair instead I would call it a healty relationship between husband and wife. That is only one dimension of the personality. Before these two individuals became life parteners they must have had lives with their own family members. No doubt priorities do change after marriage and they should. But one should not expect to be an island because that does not happen in real life. Human beings have multiple dimensions in their lives. At any given time you could be some one's boss, some one's sub-ordinate, some one's son, some one's father, some one's husband. Even though you are one individual but have different dimensions. Most important dimension being time. A person could be successful in one dimension and utter failure in the other one. To be successful and happy in life one has to learn to optimise one's resources to obtain balance in all important dimensions in one's life. In my opinion word affair suggests individual is up to some thing which he/she is going to do without any external consideration. That in turn is going to upset the balance within other dimensions.
There is only so much time and energy an individual has at his/her disposal and more of it is spent in rocking the boat and stabilising it less is available to move forward in life. You can not prevent some one from following the wrong track but can surely warn him/her of consequences. Rest is all destiny.
balbirbeniwal
New member
jogi jat
Jogi,
If You are not jungle Jogi.
affair and marriage with same person. It is God gift.
It is very expansive gift. Good luck
Jogi,
If You are not jungle Jogi.
affair and marriage with same person. It is God gift.
It is very expansive gift. Good luck
balbirbeniwal
New member
jogi jat
Jogi,
If You are not jungle Jogi.
affair and marriage with same person. It is God gift.
It is very expansive gift. Good luck
Jogi,
If You are not jungle Jogi.
affair and marriage with same person. It is God gift.
It is very expansive gift. Good luck
M
mansi1218
Guest
Affairs Or Affair?
WEll I dun have d answer of dis question but regarding d 'title' I surely wanna say something
If its "AFFAIRS" then i dun think its a gud thing 2 do,rest is up2 people,lol!
WEll I dun have d answer of dis question but regarding d 'title' I surely wanna say something
If its "AFFAIRS" then i dun think its a gud thing 2 do,rest is up2 people,lol!- Status