Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office
wondering whom to invade next when his telephone
rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Gurmukh from Banga, District
Hoshiarpur. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's
calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my
next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entire
kabadi team from the gurudwara. That makes
eight"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that
I have one million men in my army waiting to move
on my command."
"Oye bloody" said Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring
> you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called
> again.
"Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from
Banga STD, the war is still on! We have managed to
acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh?"
Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and
Amrik's tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that
I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel
carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Oh teri ....." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to
get back to you."
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have
managed to get ourselves airborne ...... We've
modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and the
pind's generator. Four boys from
malpur have joined us as well!"
> >> >
> >> > Saddam was silent for a minute and then
> cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and
> 20,000
> >> > fighter planes. My
> >> > military complex is surrounded by
> laser-guided,
> >> > surface-to-air missile
> >> > sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased
> my
> >> > army to TWO MILLION!"
> >> >
> >> > "Tera bhala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have
> to ring
> >> > you back."
> >> >
> >> > Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next
> day.
> >> > "Kiddan, Mr. Hussein! I
> >> > am sorry to tell you that we have had to call
> off the
> >> > war."
> >> >
> >> > "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why
> the
> >> > sudden change of heart?"
> >> >
> >> > "Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long
> chat over
> >> > a couple of
> >> > bottles, and decided there's no way we can
> feed two
> >> > million prisoners."
> >
wondering whom to invade next when his telephone
rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Gurmukh from Banga, District
Hoshiarpur. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's
calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my
next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entire
kabadi team from the gurudwara. That makes
eight"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that
I have one million men in my army waiting to move
on my command."
"Oye bloody" said Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring
> you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called
> again.
"Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from
Banga STD, the war is still on! We have managed to
acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh?"
Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and
Amrik's tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that
I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel
carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Oh teri ....." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to
get back to you."
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have
managed to get ourselves airborne ...... We've
modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and the
pind's generator. Four boys from
malpur have joined us as well!"
> >> >
> >> > Saddam was silent for a minute and then
> cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and
> 20,000
> >> > fighter planes. My
> >> > military complex is surrounded by
> laser-guided,
> >> > surface-to-air missile
> >> > sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased
> my
> >> > army to TWO MILLION!"
> >> >
> >> > "Tera bhala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have
> to ring
> >> > you back."
> >> >
> >> > Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next
> day.
> >> > "Kiddan, Mr. Hussein! I
> >> > am sorry to tell you that we have had to call
> off the
> >> > war."
> >> >
> >> > "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why
> the
> >> > sudden change of heart?"
> >> >
> >> > "Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long
> chat over
> >> > a couple of
> >> > bottles, and decided there's no way we can
> feed two
> >> > million prisoners."
> >