Can Husband be made Brother?

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dahiyars

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Panchayat Issued a PHATWA to Mrs Sonia to accept her husband as her brother. Sonia said that she will prefer to sacrifice her life rather than to accept her husband as her brother.She said these words to panchayat with tears in her eyes but panchayat did not pay heed to her appeal and issued the PHATWA. But her husband could not dare to defy the PHATWA.They belong to village Asanda. Rampal Dahiya s/o Sh. Omparkash of village Asanda married Sonia Rathi d/o Sh Satbir of Kiloi village about one and a half year ago.It was a love marriage and it was registered in the court also. Rampal and his family accepted this marriage but the family of Sonia and their so called ‘Khap’ was not happy and they were considering it against the gotra panchayat They were trying to break this relation. At last on Sunday i.e. on 10th Oct.2004 Rathi Gotra Panchayat was held and this PHATWA was issued. Is it possible to accept this PHATWA? If not then what should be done to support the couple .Sonia has three months pregnancy. What will happen to this innocent child?
Based on News Item inDainik Bhaskar dated 11.10.04 front page

R.S.dahiya
 
Is police not doing anything?


Ranbir Singh Dahiya (Oct 11, 2004 08:13 a.m.):
Panchayat Issued a PHATWA to Mrs Sonia to accept her husband as her brother. Sonia said that she will prefer to sacrifice her life rather than to accept her husband as her brother.She said these words to panchayat with tears in her eyes but panchayat did not pay heed to her appeal and issued the PHATWA. But her husband could not dare to defy the PHATWA.They belong to village Asanda. Rampal Dahiya s/o Sh. Omparkash of village Asanda married Sonia Rathi d/o Sh Satbir of Kiloi village about one and a half year ago.It was a love marriage and it was registered in the court also. Rampal and his family accepted this marriage but the family of Sonia and their so called ‘Khap’ was not happy and they were considering it against the gotra panchayat They were trying to break this relation. At last on Sunday i.e. on 10th Oct.2004 Rathi Gotra Panchayat was held and this PHATWA was issued. Is it possible to accept this PHATWA? If not then what should be done to support the couple .Sonia has three months pregnancy. What will happen to this innocent child?
Based on News Item inDainik Bhaskar dated 11.10.04 front page

R.S.dahiya
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Is this so called *panchayat* aware of sonia's pregnancy- i'm sure they must be... how can they be so callous- here we see the difference between literates and educated.
 
On the face value there is no reason why the girl should call her husband as her brother. However, it seems there is more to this story than mentioned in the post. Is there some major Gotra which has been violated in this marriage or any other issue which does not sanction this marriage as per Hindu Marriage Act? May be some one can throw some light ...

Rajendra
 
a little bit more from the tribune of today
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2004/20041012/main6.htm

Accept husband as brother, woman told
Raman Mohan
Tribune News Service

Asanda (Jhajjar), October 11
One and a half years after marriage and three months pregnant, a happily married young woman has been directed by a Gotra Khap panchayat to dissolve her marriage and accept her husband as a brother. The woman, Sonia, responded contemptuously to the panchayat dictat saying “I will prefer death”.

The decision by a khap panchayat of three villages – Asanda, Baproda and Kharhar – is based on the suspicion that Sonia belonged to the Rathi gotra and a marriage between Rathi and Dahiya gotras was not socially acceptable. Sonia though claims that she belongs to Hooda gotra.

Sonia hails from Kiloi village. Her father, Mr Satvir Singh, is a police employee. He uses the surname of Hooda. Rampal, on the other hand, belongs to the Dahiya gotra and his family lives here. The two had a long love affair before their marriage. Sonia’s family was initially opposed to the marriage but Rampal’s family had no objections.

According to the villagers, for 15 long months nobody objected to the marriage. But the Rathi Khap leaders became active about three months ago and tried to prevail upon Rampal and Sonia to dissolve the marriage and accept each other as brother and sister. When these attempts failed, the Rathi Khap leaders convened a panchayat. Strangely, the khap leaders are attributing their delayed response to “confusion over whether Sonia belonged to the Hooda or Rathi gotra.

The panchayat yesterday told Rampal and his family that marriages between members of the Rathi and Dahiya gotras were socially unacceptable. As such Rampal and Sonia should dissolve their marriage and accept each other as brother and sister. Sonia’s pleas that she came from a Hooda family were ignored by the panchayat.

Nevertheless, the panchayat directed Rampal to give Sonia a shagun of Rs 10 as a token of his acceptance of their new relationship as “brother and sister”. Sonia refused to accept the shagun. She appeared before the panchayat and pleaded ferociously with them to reverse its decision. When the panchayat ignored all her pleas, Sonia told them that she would prefer to die rather than accept Rampal as brother. She openly rebuked Rampal for yielding to the panchayat at the cost of his “wife and unborn child”.

Amidst confusion, Sonia was sent to Marhana village, near here, along with Rampal’s sister who is married there. Incidentally, Rampal’s sister was instrumental in arranging the court marriage.

Rampal’s mother, Ms Moorti Devi, is reluctant to accept the panchayat’s decision. She told The Tribune today that she was very fond of Sonia and wanted her back. She said her gotra was in a minority in the area and the panchayat was forcing its decision on her family.

Rampal said he accepted the panchayat decision reluctantly to avoid bloodshed since the village was dominated by the Rathi gotra and his defiance of the panchayat would not have been tolerated.

Meanwhile, some elders are trying to reconvene the panchayat and ask it to ascertain the gotra of Sonia. It is learnt that Sonia’s father did not attend the panchayat since he was opposed to her marriage to Rampal.

Incidentally, this is second incident of its kind in the area. Years ago a khap panchayat had given a similar directive to a family in Jiondhi village. However, the family refused to abide by it and chose to shift from the village to settle in a far away place.

Police officials say so far they had not received any complaint in this regard.
 
Sometimes the decisions these Khap make make me wonder whether they r worth it !! It is not the first one..I remember the one which happened few years back in Bhiwani...They did the same thing ...in that case couple was married, I guess for a long time...!!People from one gotra were thrown out of the village...all of them !!!

So bhaiyoon Jat jab nyay kare se to phir woh Nak ke seedh mein chale se...
 
False pride, land greed behind khap panchayat’s order
Raman Mohan
Tribune News Service

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2004/20041013/haryana.htm#2

Asanda (Jhajjar), October 12
A misplaced sense of pride in one’s gotra and mischievous remarks by close relatives of Sonia and Rampal are stated to be the cause of their predicament after a khap panchayat directed them to dissolve their marriage and accept each other as brother and sister at Asanda village, near here, on Sunday.

Enquiries by The Tribune reveal that close relatives of Rampal, who belongs to the Dahiya gotra, made some derogatory remarks about the Rathi gotra a few months ago after a late night binge. The remarks centred a round Sonia’s suspected Rathi origin. The Rathis, who outnumber the Dahiyas in the cluster of villages around Asanda, took offence and succeeded in organising a khap panchayat, which handed over the verdict on Sunday.

Residents of Asanda and nearby villages say these relatives deliberately made the remarks as they were eyeing Rampal’s five acres in the village. They were under the impression that Rampal and Sonia would prefer to leave the village than to accept the panchayat verdict, as had happened in the case of another couple from Jiondhi village four years ago. They erred on two counts.

The first was that Rampal did not have the resources to begin life afresh at some other faraway place as he was completely dependent on his small land holding for survival and so shifting was ruled out. The second was that they underestimated Sonia’s attachment to the family and her resolve to fight it out, the villagers said.

As for the panchayat, the villagers say, its leaders had believed that Sonia’s father would never back her in her hour of crisis since he had severed relations with her after the marriage. But, Sonia’s father has come out in support of his daughter and has threatened to drag the panchayat and Rampal to court if the decision is forced on Sonia.

The panchayat also failed to anticipate the support for Sonia from an unexpected quarter – Rampal’s three sisters. They not only provided a sanctuary to the beleaguered Sonia in their home after the panchayat’s verdict, but also vowed to keep her and Rampal united in Asanda village itself.

It is learnt that Sonia's attachment to her sisters-in-law has its roots in a psychiatric problem she had a few years ago, which probably stemmed from an unhappy childhood. She was sent to a relative in Delhi for treatment. When counselling did not work satisfactorily, she was taken to one of Rampal’s sisters, who had some experience as an exorcist. Sonia was ultimately cured by her. It was during her treatment when she was under depression that she met Rampal and fell in love with him.

The three women had first demonstrated their support to Sonia when her father opposed the marriage plans. They first tried to bring him around, but when the efforts failed, they arranged a court marriage at Sonepat, relatives said. Sonia has also drawn support from the husbands of her three sisters-in-law. Villagers say normally men do not support their wives in such matters, preferring to avoid any involvement in the controversy.

Meanwhile, social and political organisations have begun to come out in support of Sonia. Mr Inderjit, secretary of the Haryana CPM, said no sane person could deliver such a verdict which, he said, reflected a medieval mindset. Condemning the panchayat action, he said such a mindset had no place in modern society.

The Haryana unit of the Students Federation of India condemned the verdict and appealed to all political and social organisations to oppose the decision and pave the way for Sonia and Rampal to live happily. It also demanded a ban on convening of such unlawful panchayats in the future. It threatened to launch an agitation if the panchayat insisted on imposing its will.



Lawyers oppose Gotra Khap panchayat edict
Our Correspondent

Fatehabad, October 12
The Haryana unit of the All-India Lawyers Union (AILU) has come down on the edict pronounced by a Gotra Khap panchayat at Asanda in Jhajjar district of Haryana, whereby a married woman has been directed to accept husband as her brother.

In a press release issued here today, Mr Devi Lal, convener of the state unit of the AILU said that it was a matter of serious concern that dogma of medieval times was still prevalent in this state while the world had entered the 21 century. Terming the diktat of the Gotra Khap panchayat as illegal, he said that there was no place for Gotra Khap panchayats in the present-day society. He said that it was the duty of the legitimately elected panchayat of the village to step in and oppose the edict passed by the “self-styled panchayat”.

Mr Devi Lal demanded that the state government should take immediate action against those guilty of issuing illegal edicts so that civil rights of its residents could be preserved. He called upon all right-thinking people to come forward and oppose the diktat of the Gotra Khap panchayat issued at Asanda so that rule of law could prevail in Haryana.
 
How much more unconscionable acts could some people engage in? Next time we might hear disapprovals of some marriages simply because some village Netas were not invited to the weddings. It would be simply befitting to this situation if some civil law enforcement authorities of the district place the perpetrators of the so-called Khap decision in jail. The civil liberties of the couple in question have been violated, which is unconstitutional.

If the district authorities fail to take action then they would have failed in their duties. An action not less than a jail sentence for the perpetrators would send a message to future miscreants to think calmly before any such barbarous indulgence would occur next time.
 
Perhaps, I am missing something here.

What exactly is the problem with a
Rathee-Dahiya marriage ? I know plenty of
Rathee-Dahiya marriages (including yours
truly).

Is there something peculiar in this situation
(perhaps this particular Dahiya village
also has Rathees) ? I just haven't been able
to clearly understand what the issue is here.

Anyone ?
 
Incidently, the most funny part is that the Panchayat has not yet been able to refute the claim of Soniya that her father's gotra is Hooda and not Rathi ! I think there is some personal vendetta is behind the whole episode.

Raj Rathee (Oct 12, 2004 09:34 p.m.):
Perhaps, I am missing something here.

What exactly is the problem with a
Rathee-Dahiya marriage ? I know plenty of
Rathee-Dahiya marriages (including yours
truly).

Is there something peculiar in this situation
(perhaps this particular Dahiya village
also has Rathees) ? I just haven't been able
to clearly understand what the issue is here.

Anyone ?
Click to expand...
 
Enough of debate on the issue..Can we do something as Jatland members to solve the issue????????? Do members feel that we can take a Jatland delegation to meet both the sides ? I will be in Delhi for next few days..I will be more than happy to join any such delegation..

Rajendra
 
The Panchayat should conduct a DNA test on Rampal to confirm if he is a ‘True Jat’ and perhaps even further test it to differentiate Rathee Gotra from that of Hooda! If it is determined Rampal is a true Jat the Khap should be allowed to impose the ruling. In that case we must collectively accept Sonia and Rampal to be brother and sister.

Definition of true Jat:

A true Jat doesn’t marry a woman, make her pregnant and then call her sister.

Nonetheless, the victim in this case, today, and tomorrow or until cows come home, and from whatever angle you may try to discern, is always the girl! Poor Sonia! I hope and wish she has the courage to stick to her conviction, and maintains that the marriage solemnized in the presence and consent of the two families is valid. If all else fails she should go to a far away place raise the unborn kid, but before then she should sever any and all ties with Rampal! Succumbing to the peer pressure for Rampal was an option as a kid, not when he is now father of a kid!

Sonia's courage is commendable!
 
Sujata (Oct 13, 2004 10:32 a.m.):
The Panchayat should conduct a DNA test on Rampal to confirm if he is a ‘True Jat’ and perhaps even further test it to differentiate Rathee Gotra from that of Hooda! If it is determined Rampal is a true Jat the Khap should be allowed to impose the ruling. In that case we must collectively accept Sonia and Rampal to be brother and sister.

Definition of true Jat:

A true Jat doesn’t marry a woman, make her pregnant and then call her sister.

Nonetheless, the victim in this case, today, and tomorrow or until cows come home, and from whatever angle you may try to discern, is always the girl! Poor Sonia! I hope and wish she has the courage to stick to her conviction, and maintains that the marriage solemnized in the presence and consent of the two families is valid. If all else fails she should go to a far away place raise the unborn kid, but before then she should sever any and all ties with Rampal! Succumbing to the peer pressure for Rampal was an option as a kid, not when he is now father of a kid!

Sonia's courage is commendable!
Click to expand...

I agree with you 100% Sujata ji. However, the people involved in this whole game do not read our posts and don't even know who we are. Let us come out with something we as a group can do and correct the wrong being done to Sonia.

Rajendra
 
Rajendra Kumar Kalkhande (Oct 13, 2004 11:40 a.m.):

"However, the people involved in this whole game do not read our posts and don't even know who we are."
Rajendra
Click to expand...

And that is why they won’t also have a clue as to what is logically and morally correct and therefore mend their ways! No use beating drums on deaf ears. Unfortunately to meddle with the bullish Panchayatis one would need strength from beyond this planet. They wouldn’t tolerate intervening by a bunch of educated bureaucrats, based on their limited horizon that’s the worst insult they can incur. With their (narrow) minded philosophy they have bestowed the best verdict in order to save the Jat race from doom. From here on there is only destruction and death.

Possible scenarios:

By now the pregnancy may be close to termination through unusual means;
Families involved will, if not already engage in “lathi” & “Jailie” show and tell contest;
Sonia will kill herself;
Sonia will get killed by a strange twist of events;

Unlikely: Sonia, Rampal and the unborn baby may all be killed!
Highly unlikely: Things may go well for all concerned?

Anyone daring to confront them (Panchayatis) must be made of nerves of steel, because at the outset such ventures do not lend any credence for the population in question. One must be physically and emotionally prepared to go through the painstaking process of seeking justice. Talking of which I do not believe the local law enforcement entities have done their job, so don’t expect them to yield to your heeding.

The only possible and viable actions that might get Sonia justice are:

If a shrewd, paid lawyer is willing to establish the legal integrity of the marriage.

If national media attention converges upon this village and through its exceptional journalistic ability gets the Indian Govt. (charged with protecting women) involved.

An NGO’s aimed at preservation of women’s rights gets involved. (NGOs can and have been known to be powerful to draw attention of the host government and get acceptable resolution, at least in some cases).

Here are a few options on the Net:

http://www.actionaidindia.org/aboutus.htm
http://www.indianngos.com/states/delhi.htm
http://www.jagori.org/index.htm
http://www.jagori.org/helplines.htm (A list of local numbers to initiate the process).
http://www.jagritifoundation.org
info@snsf.org Contact Indira Vardrajan 0124-2333851

Hope something positive comes out of this sad story!
 
With God’s grace, my child will live, says Sonia
Raman Mohan
Tribune News Service

Rohtak, October 13
Sonia, who is under pressure from a khap panchayat to accept her husband as her brother, now faces the dreaded prospect of losing her most prized possession – her unborn child. She was rushed to the Postgraduate Institute of Medical Sciences here in the wee hours of the morning today with a threatened abortion. But, she has not lost any of her courage or resolve.

Barely able to speak from her hospital bed, a frail- looking Sonia still had the guts to declare: “I will not accept the panchayat verdict. If it withdraws its dictat, it’s okay. If it doesn’t, I am going to live with my husband in Asanda itself anyway. Let them cut me to pieces if that is what they want.”

Sonia developed labour-like pains around midnight last night. She was admitted to the PGIMS here at 1.30 a.m. Dr Pushpa Dahiya, who is attending on her, said though Sonia had a history of abortions in the past, the current problem could have been caused by emotional and mental stress. Sonia would need hospitalisation for a few more days, she said, adding that she was under constant observation and every effort was being made to save the pregnancy from being aborted.

However, her medical problem had a positive side too. Her husband, Rampal, who had been cowering under the panchayat pressure in his village so far, gathered the courage to come here and be by his wife’s side despite the panchayat directive not to meet her. Some of Sonia’s courage appeared to have rubbed off on to him. He told The Tribune that he would fight it out. “I don’t want to yield to panchayat pressure. I had been under tremendous pressure from the panchayat. But see, I am here though they warned me not to see Sonia anymore”.

Sonia said when she pleaded with the panchayat representatives on Sunday that she was pregnant, they had suggested that she abort the pregnancy. “I hope and pray their wishes won’t come true. With God’s grace, my child will live to see me living in Asanda despite what the panchayat has done”, she said.

Meanwhile, Deputy Commissioner of Jhajjar Mohinder Kumar said the administration would act as per law only after it received a formal complaint.
 
WAHA RE HARIYANVI KHAAP !!!!!
Y THESE THINGS HAPPEN IN YARYANA ONLY ?

I THOUGHT HARIYANA IS ADVANCE STATE AND ITS PEOPLE ARE MORE EDUCATED !!!!!!!!!!

WOWWWWWWWWWWW
 
Discouraging quotes from you Dana Ram ji...instead of suggesting some solution, you are having fun in all this episode. This is really a shame for Jatland where we all have gathered to resolve the border differences instead you are igniting it. Anyway, everyone knows, Haryana is better developed than any other northern state. But these kind of people exist everywhere. You can't downsize Haryana development due to these stupid episodes. What about Rajasthan? Did you forget the SATI episode? I know it wasn't related to JATs of Rajasthan but to Rajasthani community for sure. Did it stop the development process in Rajasthan?

Navin
Dana Ram Choudhary (Oct 14, 2004 03:02 a.m.):
WAHA RE HARIYANVI KHAAP !!!!!
Y THESE THINGS HAPPEN IN YARYANA ONLY ?

I THOUGHT HARIYANA IS ADVANCE STATE AND ITS PEOPLE ARE MORE EDUCATED !!!!!!!!!!

WOWWWWWWWWWWW
Click to expand...
 
Bhai Danaram and Navin,

Such replies will definitely deviate the original purpose of thread...
Hindu JAT are same whether they are from Haryana, U.P, Rajasthan or M.P....

We should not give much VALUE to such topics ( jats from haryana, rajasthan..bla..bla..)
 
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