gulia sir this excuse or protection whatever it is....being used for the kids sake by a mother.
divorce and kids
- Thread starter ritu
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Ritu ji, unhealthy relationship of parents is not good for kids. In today's modern world we advocate equality for women and they should stand for test of time and take a clear stand in such a situation. We need to infuse confidence in our daughters since chilhood so that they have decision making capacity and they need not to look for lame excuses of dependency/protection.
sunitahooda
New member
Ritu we should never be judgemental without knowing the whole story....one of my friends is fighting her case and for last one year the son is with her n daughter is with the father and she's dying to take a glimpse of her daughter bt the father got the girl out of the boarding school she was studying so that she's not able to see her and talk to her....another case a lady goes to her daughter and her moher-in-law abuses/ shouts and creates such a scene that the whole locality watches the scene....where as this lady is fullfilling all her daughter's need incl. educational expenses even after 7-8 years of divorce cuz the father can not raise the daughter and dont want to give to the mother just for show off
we dont know what situation the mother of that kid might have gone through....yes you feel for such kids as parents adapt sooner or later being mature but kids suffer a lot.
we dont know what situation the mother of that kid might have gone through....yes you feel for such kids as parents adapt sooner or later being mature but kids suffer a lot.
Ritu we should never be judgemental without knowing the whole story....one of my friends is fighting her case and for last one year the son is with her n daughter is with the father and she's dying to take a glimpse of her daughter bt the father got the girl out of the boarding school she was studying so that she's not able to see her and talk to her....another case a lady goes to her daughter and her moher-in-law abuses/ shouts and creates such a scene that the whole locality watches the scene....where as this lady is fullfilling all her daughter's need incl. educational expenses even after 7-8 years of divorce cuz the father can not raise the daughter and dont want to give to the mother just for show off
Sunita, did your friend seek legal recourse. I am sure that custody goes with the mother for kids usually under 12 and in rest of cases also goes with the mother provided the child also consents for it and mother is financially sound. All facts points that she can get custody easily.
sunitahooda
New member
Yes, she did....the judge said the custody of the kids will be given on merit basis which was in favor of my friend as she was a P.Hd. and father was just 10th pass...... the whole case took a new turn after the father gave a hefty bribe.....to whom i need not mention. Even after the judge granted the right to see the daughter the man has been playing mischievous and everytime a new excuse is told
sidchhikara
New member
A match made in heaven.
That is the most unfortunate thing in India.
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amans
Guest
In the past is the key word.
And who says all women are nice or were nice. They can he highly manipualtive, scheming and play mind games.
Soorat par mat jana. And don't think just because someone is a lady they are a nice person.
There are men who are victims of these manipulating, scheming women.
I have seen ugly looking women who are highly manipulative and scheming. Perhaps due to their inferior looks they have some sort of complex and try to cover it up by acting like that. May be they are trying to exert control over their husbands through their scheming, manipulative ways. I don't know.
Bholi surat aur dil ke khote...
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Nobody said in this thread that women are nice, men are bad and vice-versa. I think you are not able to convey clearly what ever you want to say. Is there any correlation between first two and last word that are highlighted in red? Mr. Aman beauty lies in the eye of beholder.
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amans
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I felt that there is a bias/stereotype that generally a man is responsible for discord in the family. I also meant that a woman with ugly features can be highly manipulative and scheming - trying to hold on to the husband. And vice versa for a pretty women too.
Children suffer the most and it is better to separate/divorce then to stay just for the sake of sanskars/society etc.
Many times people just carry on unable to make a final decision. Before you know it, lot of time has already passed and children are grown up! and both parents are old!
I veered off the topic. Carry on.
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msingh
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we cant be judgemental, righly said sunita,,,,,coz no one knows the situation better than the person who has actually gone thorugh tht phase,,,
the case tht sunita is telling,,,,i mean how can parents do tht injustice to their daughter's by getting her married to an influential and rich people who is just metric pass,,,,,,
secondly,,,,why shd the child suffer,,,,,it becomes moral responsiblity of both parents to raise their child in a condusive envoirnment which is reqd for the development of their kid, ,,,if they cant do tht,,,,they do not have right to be called as parents,,,, at the same time it is not the duty of one parent to take the whole responsiblity,,,,
secondly ,,,,,we cant say tht men are responsible or women is responsibe,.....there are situations,,,,,whatever it is ultimately who is going through all tht trauma CHILDREN.........
the case tht sunita is telling,,,,i mean how can parents do tht injustice to their daughter's by getting her married to an influential and rich people who is just metric pass,,,,,,
secondly,,,,why shd the child suffer,,,,,it becomes moral responsiblity of both parents to raise their child in a condusive envoirnment which is reqd for the development of their kid, ,,,if they cant do tht,,,,they do not have right to be called as parents,,,, at the same time it is not the duty of one parent to take the whole responsiblity,,,,
secondly ,,,,,we cant say tht men are responsible or women is responsibe,.....there are situations,,,,,whatever it is ultimately who is going through all tht trauma CHILDREN.........
Ritu we should never be judgemental without knowing the whole story....one of my friends is fighting her case and for last one year the son is with her n daughter is with the father and she's dying to take a glimpse of her daughter bt the father got the girl out of the boarding school she was studying so that she's not able to see her and talk to her....another case a lady goes to her daughter and her moher-in-law abuses/ shouts and creates such a scene that the whole locality watches the scene....where as this lady is fullfilling all her daughter's need incl. educational expenses even after 7-8 years of divorce cuz the father can not raise the daughter and dont want to give to the mother just for show off
sunitahooda
New member
Yeah....the heaven called Earth n Gods called Parents
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anilsinghd
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Read posts of Shweta , Yoginer , Sunita , Ritu di and rest as well.
I wish to ask each a question. What as per you would be the best solution possible in terms of the outlook for relation?
I do not want a balanced , dilpomatic answer , Its a digital option so you got to choose only one.
Case 1:
Would both men an women should have an outlook that come waht may they need to survive the relation ( which is a blessing if they are loving and caring , a good thing if the initial contradictions and confrontations are momentarily and with time and efforts the relationship develops into a good one but an ultimate disgust/pain for life if there aint any compatibility of if the relationship ideally should not survive )?
Or
Case 2:
Both husband and wife should have a totally easy outlook and would not hesitate to go out of relationship if they think that it is not making good progress. Sure some efforts are there to make it work ( but those are nowhere in comparision to the desperate stuff employed in scenario 1)?
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If anyone can see deep , Scenario 2 is something that is pretty western , while 1 is more of Indisch origin.
I opt for Scenario 2 and will justify myself but will wait for you all to give in your options.
Remember , its a request to give digital ansers , 1 or 2. o mid paths!
Thanks!
Anil
I wish to ask each a question. What as per you would be the best solution possible in terms of the outlook for relation?
I do not want a balanced , dilpomatic answer , Its a digital option so you got to choose only one.
Case 1:
Would both men an women should have an outlook that come waht may they need to survive the relation ( which is a blessing if they are loving and caring , a good thing if the initial contradictions and confrontations are momentarily and with time and efforts the relationship develops into a good one but an ultimate disgust/pain for life if there aint any compatibility of if the relationship ideally should not survive )?
Or
Case 2:
Both husband and wife should have a totally easy outlook and would not hesitate to go out of relationship if they think that it is not making good progress. Sure some efforts are there to make it work ( but those are nowhere in comparision to the desperate stuff employed in scenario 1)?
===========
If anyone can see deep , Scenario 2 is something that is pretty western , while 1 is more of Indisch origin.
I opt for Scenario 2 and will justify myself but will wait for you all to give in your options.
Remember , its a request to give digital ansers , 1 or 2. o mid paths!
Thanks!
Anil
jitendershooda
New member
If this outlook is there than first the case will not arise ... second if this comes later too then also I will go for this option feeling that in that case they will be able to eradicate the root problem as outlook comes ....
Means 1 .... is my answer as per your words in question.
Itna karda question na boojhya kar Anil .... ek bus uttar 1 ya 2 ... kime to kahen ki dheel chod diya kar ...
jitendershooda
New member
Yeah....the heaven called Earth n Gods called Parents
Kahe te theek se Sunita ... ye ghar ke apne tagaje ya dikkat mein balak ka math kar dein hein kae jagah.
As told in your post ... this match was itself uneven. Eeeb asliyat ka te ke bera ... par itna antar na nibhey kukare bhi .... er ek be bigadi to Riste Sidya ee karein ... pher kisse ne na gud bheli thyamti ...
Ek ke nue ee dikkat baithgi ... er uski bahu byah ke 6 mahine mein ee chali gae ... balak tha pet mein .... hude ee jake hoya se ... par ego itni ek rooke marke nue kahe se ek ..tum to goddyan ke ball aaoge len ... us chore ke babu pe aarop la diye ek yo gandi najar rakhey tha ... us chore er uski maa ke ee galat bata diye ... to itna sab hoe pachey .... pher to sadandh ee oothe ... er uss chorre ka naam bhi isa dharya se ... ek apne baap te jabardasti haq len ala ... ha ha ... to us bichare balak ki to jindagi ke se er usne kin thoughts ke sath bada karegi ... pis gya wo.
Our judicial system is not efficient enough to decide on this ... it needs revival.
ye jhutthi ego....kitne gharo ka naash kara de hai.kai baar to ma baap hi uksaate hai aur khaas kar ke saas ye ab chahe ladke ki ho ya ladki ki.meri ek friend ki jindaggi ka oski ma ne satyanaash kar diya.vo bhi aisse hi roos kar gyi thi sasural se aur issi rasakashi me ki na vo hi aayega len kabbhi nahi ja paayi waapis.ladki ka brainwashkar diya ma ne.aaj vo ladka dobara shaadi karke khushi se rah raha hai aur vo becharri akell hai budde ma baap ke saath.itni sundar(kurukshetra unviersity ki os batch ki sabse sundar ladki thi) aur intelligent ladki ka ye hashr hua.
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anilsinghd
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If this outlook is there than first the case will not arise ... second if this comes later too then also I will go for this option feeling that in that case they will be able to eradicate the root problem as outlook comes ....
Means 1 .... is my answer as per your words in question.
Itna karda question na boojhya kar Anil .... ek bus uttar 1 ya 2 ... kime to kahen ki dheel chod diya kar ...
Jitender bhai , probbaly I didnt state the question properly , I am saying in general if we can have choice to implement only these two scenarios as a law lets say which has to be universally followed , then which case would you opt for.
It is not a solution to divorce , ofcourse both the cases are futile once u have sucha sitaution , I am saying if we wish to implement something , lets say at the time of marriage , which one would you go for ?
Thanks,
Anil
brahmtewatia
Active member
.......... !!! pls. dont divert frm the subject !!! ..........
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