Do moral values and truth have a place in modern India?

[steotia]

I suppose I made a mistake by using this forum.
Trying to address a current social problem in India by giving a personal example, seems to have been considered as "airing ones dirty linen in public".
I wasn't after gaining any sympathies nor was I presenting a "holier than thou" image.
The message I was trying to get across was to make people sit up and take notice of a very real threat, namely that of being accused of a false "dowry harassment" charge, the 498a of IPC. Being guilty is not a requirement for this section of the Indian Penal Code (for those who think that there is no smoke without a fire).
And as for addressing it in a "graceful manner", I would like to know how to do that when the subject itself is so sordid. When the accusations are true, the crime is heinous; when false, they destroy peoples reputation, carriers and lives.
Anyway, I am not an Indian citizen so I shouldn't be bothered with trying to spread some awareness among any unsuspecting Indians. My mistake!

 

[aabhisheksirohi]

Is it common practice and acceptable in Indian society that:
1. a wife comes home at 1 am after having gone out with a male friend and the husband and has no right to even question her?
2. when a husband sees a photo of his wife standing on top of a strange man in a bed in a hotel room, supposedly giving a friend a massage, he has no right to question her?
3. when a husband sees his wife writing to another man ‘I love you and miss you terribly’ and this man replies the same, the husband should not find anything wrong in that?
Perhaps when some of you will take the time to read this you will understand these questions and comment. I would be very grateful.

After reading your excerpt the first question comes to my mind ...

Is she wife or slut ??

Secondly it is always advisable not to discuss personal family problem openly on public platform try to alienate yourself as and when required ....

Heard a lot cases about IPC 498a its pretty common among Punjabis and Khatris . But first time i heard it happen in Jats too .. bitter experience ..

 

[samarkadian]

Hi,
I can understand the pain n uninvited problem your reputed family have gone through.I hope it will get better and best with time as worldly things destined to regain its normal state again.

Coming to your question of moral values in India?

I feel everywhere on earth human emotions are the same.I heard from fellow westerner's here that they want easternisation of their counrty. Quite Ironical and paradoxical.Extreme of anything is surely boring.Comprehensively human being behave according to situations and conditions, so morality becomes self serving most of the times.Yet Western or Indian way of life, at every place they take marriage as sacred and beautiful institution.Success favour the symbiotic way but matrix is so strong that human being cant resist temptations in the guise of freedom.This turns a symbiotic relationship in to parasitic one , where one person keep on giving and get exhausted but another one enjoys taking and want more.Its nt country, culture specific, its individualistic.Values defines the core.But now a days representing values means you are too much.But at the end of the day truth is truth and it always wins though way is painful but rewarding. Choice is yours.

 

[asuhag]

Please do not mistake me for taking sides but this is quite freakish and equally freakish is the method of washing your dirty linen in public. No pun intended. No doubt that if even half of what has been written is true that it must've caused enormous pain to your entire family but the article seems to be a little too harsh!

First things first - Leaving behind your article, you should consult good lawyers. You can always file complaints against them for harrasment & defamation. This sure is a way of extortion. She's an educated & grown up girl and if she can decided her way of life, she sure should be capable of supporting it. Regarding her folks even if their claim of spending money on the daughter's education... well they did it for their daughter. Marriage to your bro wasn't on a contract that he'd be bound to fund her education! Also as you've claimed that there was no dowry/lavish gifts accepted, I'm sure their wouldn't be hard/convincing evidence for the same.
While i'm not the best person to advice legally, I hardly see a case in this.

Now coming to the values question ... the article sure paints you, your bro & the family in very good light while it brandishes the bride and her folks as villains. I dont intend to judge nor I like to do so, but what's her side of the story? We're living in the 21st century and for God's sake you guys are an educated lot. Why have you guys been tolerating the crap in the name of restraint & values in the guise of a "Jat family/culture"? If it were in the rural, uneducated, unheard of regions one could sympathize but really a call should've been taken long ago.
Getting back to the bride's side of the story ... What does she have to say? Has anyone tried to have a heart to heart with her, trying to understand her side of the story or its all about enforecement of psuedo Jat values in the lost world of male dominated society? If she has found a connect with another man, what's the reason that there were none between her & your bro?

I love the Reliance advertisement - "India mein sab advice dena pasant karte hain, especially if its for free - you will hear a lot for this post!"

Problem there sure is, but try viewing it as just another problem. The groom & bride and if needed the two families should work to be a part of the solution rather than pointing fingers. To solve anything, the root cause needs to be understood and the situation pointed out. A problem if at all can be solved/addressed, needs to be done from the root. Workarounds will not last!

I apologize if anything i wrote is out of line or not to your or anyone's liking but I was quite pissed off reading this thread - Not at what was happened/happening or why it happened but why it hasn't been addressed in a graceful manner. Jat's are no exceptions to good or bad, morals or immorals ... the way of life of an individual is above and beyond a community or creed. It's individuals doing so... generalising the concept to a particular community would be as foolish as living in the belief that because we're Jat such things shouldn't happen to us!

I wish you guys luck!

-Ashish

 

[asuhag]

Ah... Somebody took it the other way. My apologies. Perhaps the expression or the sentiment didnt go out quite well.

Being an Indian citizen or not is not even a question. Indian, NRI's, Non Indians we're all bound by much greater a force. A force that connects hearts.

Regarding your personal issues, I'm sure you guys know best & can/will take an appropriate call.

Regarding the abuse of the IPC section, I just had a chat with a friend of mine who practices Criminal Law and he says the interpretation by the people & enforcement by the police has not been the 'best' and hence its being abused. However, if you consult any good lawyers they will explain in greater details as to how to go about countering such false cases. A biased cop or the one who abuses this section to harrass anyone is also liable for penal action.

But in all, a good gesture to create awareness and a potentially hot topic for a healthy debate.

Finally & once again, if any posting hurt your personal sentiment please be assured that it wasnt intended and it is regretted. Friends?

 

[ssindhu]

Is she wife or slut ??


splitting my humor bone...can't have enough of it abhishek

 

[ssindhu]

Ah... Somebody took it the other way. My apologies. Perhaps the expression or the sentiment didnt go out quite well.

Being an Indian citizen or not is not even a question. Indian, NRI's, Non Indians we're all bound by much greater a force. A force that connects hearts.

Regarding your personal issues, I'm sure you guys know best & can/will take an appropriate call.

Regarding the abuse of the IPC section, I just had a chat with a friend of mine who practices Criminal Law and he says the interpretation by the people & enforcement by the police has not been the 'best' and hence its being abused. However, if you consult any good lawyers they will explain in greater details as to how to go about countering such false cases. A biased cop or the one who abuses this section to harrass anyone is also liable for penal action.

But in all, a good gesture to create awareness and a potentially hot topic for a healthy debate.

Finally & once again, if any posting hurt your personal sentiment please be assured that it wasnt intended and it is regretted. Friends?

ramadoss is mulling a law which makes it compulsory for all cigarette companies to have a horrifying pic of cancerous sores on packets rather than statutory warning of ciagrette smoking is injurious to health...

i am just thinking how daring a fella you are...lollllll

some mods will come tomtomming soon that you can't upload such horrifying pics here on JL...(i mean the rings of smoke not the face. lollllll)

 

[asuhag]

ramadoss is mulling a law which makes it compulsory for all cigarette companies to have a horrifying pic of cancerous sores on packets rather than statutory warning of ciagrette smoking is injurious to health...

i am just thinking how daring a fella you are...lollllll

some mods will come tomtomming soon that you can't upload such horrifying pics here on JL...(i mean the rings of smoke not the face. lollllll)

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LOL:-D
Then it'd be one of those useless agenda's over which our politicians love to argue & waste time rather than doing something constructive. Wondering if the JL moderators will emulate them or leave such petty issues untouched.

In anycase it'd be quite interesting to watch out & realise that why Jats are made fun of - They have all the time to fight over silly & useless issues... Are the patrons writing about history of kings, their harems and wars over them in agreement?

 

[ssindhu]

---------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL:-D
Then it'd be one of those useless agenda's over which our politicians love to argue & waste time rather than doing something constructive. Wondering if the JL moderators will emulate them or leave such petty issues untouched.

In anycase it'd be quite interesting to watch out & realise that why Jats are made fun of - They have all the time to fight over silly & useless issues... Are the patrons writing about history of kings, their harems and wars over them in agreement?

for a moment i was illuded that your mouth is on fire and it calls for some fire brigade

 

[asuhag]

for a moment i was illuded that your mouth is on fire and it calls for some fire brigade

------------------------------------------------
Bad joke. And come on, I hope you'd agree with me that this time it was wakayee mein sad.

 

[ssindhu]

------------------------------------------------
Bad joke. And come on, I hope you'd agree with me that this time it was wakayee mein sada.

i agree to disagree that it was as sada as your mouth on fire...

stinking as much as MCD dustbin litter put on fire for decomposition. LOL

 

[asuhag]

i agree to disagree that it was as sada as your mouth on fire...

stinking as much as MCD dustbin litter put on fire for decomposition. LOL

---------------------------------------------------------------
Sadistic humor is also a type. You win!
Are you always like this or having a bad day today?

 

[ssindhu]

---------------------------------------------------------------
Sadistic humor is also a type. You win!
Are you always like this or having a bad day today?

aaj apun ka special din hai...wo kya hai na hulkut apun ka kaam karne ka man nahi hai aaj

 

[sumitsehrawat]

I am afraid I could not relate this to any of the posts before. Maybe you were banned from the site for reasons known to some and unknown to many.
Could someone throw some light on what exactly we are discussing here?
I am sorry for my ignorance on this.

Thanks,
Sumit

I suppose I made a mistake by using this forum.
Trying to address a current social problem in India by giving a personal example, seems to have been considered as "airing ones dirty linen in public".
I wasn't after gaining any sympathies nor was I presenting a "holier than thou" image.
The message I was trying to get across was to make people sit up and take notice of a very real threat, namely that of being accused of a false "dowry harassment" charge, the 498a of IPC. Being guilty is not a requirement for this section of the Indian Penal Code (for those who think that there is no smoke without a fire).
And as for addressing it in a "graceful manner", I would like to know how to do that when the subject itself is so sordid. When the accusations are true, the crime is heinous; when false, they destroy peoples reputation, carriers and lives.
Anyway, I am not an Indian citizen so I shouldn't be bothered with trying to spread some awareness among any unsuspecting Indians. My mistake!

 

[aabhisheksirohi]

Is she wife or slut ??


splitting my humor bone...can't have enough of it abhishek

" Humor Bone "

Ohhh gosshhhh..... You scared me noe !!

 

[aabhisheksirohi]

---------------------------------------------------------------------
In anycase it'd be quite interesting to watch out & realise that why Jats are made fun of

You Beauty !!

You know what mate ...you made me feel proud today that i dont do smoke nor advertise on public arena ... even if the Cigg.. brand is named after a part of my own ass.

 

[steotia]

I wasn't banned

I am afraid I could not relate this to any of the posts before. Maybe you were banned from the site for reasons known to some and unknown to many.
Could someone throw some light on what exactly we are discussing here?
I am sorry for my ignorance on this.

Thanks,
Sumit

Hi Sumit,

I wasn't banned from the site. I just replaced the original post with the present text after the initial responses I got.
The discussion was about the misuse of section 498a of the IPC, the dowry harassment act, to settle personal scores and in our particular case, an extra marital affair.

 

[sandeeprathee]

वो घर फूँक के अपना जमाने को रौशनी दे रहे थे
ज़माने वाले खौफजदा हैं कहीं हाथ जल न जाए

i think Seema was just trying to raise a matter of social concern that she and her family struck with.........she didnt ask for any legal or emotional support. But..its surprising people can still squeeze humor out of this thread.

 

[steotia]

वो घर फूँक के अपना जमाने को रौशनी दे रहे थे
ज़माने वाले खौफजदा हैं कहीं हाथ जल न जाए

i think Seema was just trying to raise a matter of social concern that she and her family struck with.........she didnt ask for any legal or emotional support. But..its surprising people can still squeeze humor out of this thread.

Hi Sandeep,

My thoughts exactly. Thanks for the moral support!

 

[asuhag]

Let's get back to the all important discussion point raised by Seema

I agree! (Nod Nod)

Seema - Since the last few posts have digressed the original thread completely, May i suggest/ask you, if possible to put in a summary and bring back the focus to the all important topic which was aimed at creating awareness?

Cheers!
-Ashish