I recently read that love is entirely a matter of
chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
- David Bissonette
===================================================
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
===================================================
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't face each other, but still they
stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi
===================================================
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.
-- Socrates
===================================================
It's true that all men are born free and equal, but
some of them get MARRIED!
===================================================
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
===================================================
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
from achieving them.
-- Dumas
===================================================
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What does a woman want?
-- Freud
===================================================
I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
===================================================
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A
little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henry Youngman
===================================================
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two
years."
- Sam Kinison
===================================================
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran
===================================================
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray
===================================================
It's true that all men are born free and equal, but
some of them get married!
===================================================
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of
man your wife would have preferred.
===================================================
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to
them.
===================================================
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Nash
===================================================
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once..
===================================================
My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not
enough closet space.
===================================================
You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman
===================================================
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
===================================================
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
-- Milton Berle
===================================================
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
enemy.
-- Anonymous
===================================================
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
===================================================
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
===================================================
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want
to interrupt her."
- Rodney Dangerfield
chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
- David Bissonette
===================================================
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry
===================================================
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't face each other, but still they
stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi
===================================================
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.
-- Socrates
===================================================
It's true that all men are born free and equal, but
some of them get MARRIED!
===================================================
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
===================================================
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us
from achieving them.
-- Dumas
===================================================
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What does a woman want?
-- Freud
===================================================
I had some words with my wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
===================================================
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A
little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henry Youngman
===================================================
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two
years."
- Sam Kinison
===================================================
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even
faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran
===================================================
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one
left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray
===================================================
It's true that all men are born free and equal, but
some of them get married!
===================================================
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of
man your wife would have preferred.
===================================================
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to
them.
===================================================
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Nash
===================================================
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once..
===================================================
My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not
enough closet space.
===================================================
You know what I did before I married? Anything I
wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman
===================================================
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
===================================================
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
-- Milton Berle
===================================================
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the
enemy.
-- Anonymous
===================================================
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
===================================================
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
===================================================
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want
to interrupt her."
- Rodney Dangerfield
