A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking..
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
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Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..
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Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different..
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When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..
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Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
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Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
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My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
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Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
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Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
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Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
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Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
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Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
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Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!