My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
i was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-------------------------------------------------
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I said,
"Where's the car?"
She said, "In the lake."-
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
when a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I
don't like to interrupt her.
--------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.
Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much
does it cost to get
married?" The father replied, "I don't know son,
I'm still paying."
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-------------------------------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
asked the friend. The woman replied, "A
billionaire.
---------------------------------------------
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe
----------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep
It's not true that married men live longer than
single men.
It only seems longer
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.
-----------------------------------------------
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all -
money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a
beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!" "What
happened?"
asked his friend. "My wife found out...
---------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-----------------------------------------------
I think one of the greatest things about marriage is
that as both husband and father, I can say anything
I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the
least bit of attention
-------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
----------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-------------------------------------------------
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
--------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
i was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-------------------------------------------------
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I said,
"Where's the car?"
She said, "In the lake."-
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
when a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I
don't like to interrupt her.
--------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.
Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much
does it cost to get
married?" The father replied, "I don't know son,
I'm still paying."
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-------------------------------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
asked the friend. The woman replied, "A
billionaire.
---------------------------------------------
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe
----------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep
It's not true that married men live longer than
single men.
It only seems longer
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.
-----------------------------------------------
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all -
money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a
beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!" "What
happened?"
asked his friend. "My wife found out...
---------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-----------------------------------------------
I think one of the greatest things about marriage is
that as both husband and father, I can say anything
I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the
least bit of attention
-------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
----------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-------------------------------------------------
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
--------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
