How Jat girls think of Jat Boys?
- Thread starter rkumar
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The topic is about how "Cosmopolitian Jat female" think about Jat boys.
We have seen views on:
What women wants
Personal relationships (good)
etc (the more general issues)
I liked the classification of Lt Col Malik. On the same lines, said something about "What happens"
S1: In love marriege, (which i guess is what happens when "Jat Girls" thinks of "Boys"..) whether counter party is Jat or not matter 1%.
S2: In arranged marriege ( no girl "thinking" of Jat boy involves), wheather counter party is Jat or not matter 99%.
In recent times, we also see semi arranged marriege, when the percentage is linear combination of 99 and 1 depending upon how "semi" arranged it is.
We have seen views on:
What women wants
Personal relationships (good)
etc (the more general issues)
I liked the classification of Lt Col Malik. On the same lines, said something about "What happens"
S1: In love marriege, (which i guess is what happens when "Jat Girls" thinks of "Boys"..) whether counter party is Jat or not matter 1%.
S2: In arranged marriege ( no girl "thinking" of Jat boy involves), wheather counter party is Jat or not matter 99%.
In recent times, we also see semi arranged marriege, when the percentage is linear combination of 99 and 1 depending upon how "semi" arranged it is.
umm..really number theory Anuj. Partly I agree with you, but not wholly. Small numbers have very high significance because of their place value. Look at these highly qualified girls, more so when our community still has less of them. Its like brain drain and not only the sex ratio drain. I know, some friends will argue that these girls hardly have any brain and therefore where is the drain.. You apprear to be from Operation Research background it seems. Small numbers of strategic people count much more than the crowd randomly distributed. I would be very candid in saying that I will love to see these highly qualified jat girls absorbed in our own community. Ofcourse we have to prepare jat boys who can stand up to the challenge of attracting these girls back into main stream.
Rajendra
A
abhishek
Guest
1) In rural areas given socio-economic situation girls hardly have choice. And I guess in urban segments it has more to do with individual preferences and upbringing. So I think this thread wont lead to any general answer to the question posted .
2) People mentioned "crudeness",I wonder how do you define crudeness of a jat male? May be someone can come up with some definition.And if that is the case given similar enviroment how come that jat girls have totally different psychological profile? I am not a sociologist but some conclusions sound paradoxical to me.
3) It has been pointed out that *sophisticated* jat girls dont like jat boys and vice versa is not true. There again it is somewhat contradictory.May be I am not formally trained to distinguish that out ,but how does education bring about such radical change in outlook regarding matrimony inspite of similar background and upbringing?
4) If assertions made so far are right then arent these facts sign of severe identity crisis?
2) People mentioned "crudeness",I wonder how do you define crudeness of a jat male? May be someone can come up with some definition.And if that is the case given similar enviroment how come that jat girls have totally different psychological profile? I am not a sociologist but some conclusions sound paradoxical to me.
3) It has been pointed out that *sophisticated* jat girls dont like jat boys and vice versa is not true. There again it is somewhat contradictory.May be I am not formally trained to distinguish that out ,but how does education bring about such radical change in outlook regarding matrimony inspite of similar background and upbringing?
4) If assertions made so far are right then arent these facts sign of severe identity crisis?
Some older takes on similar subject possibly from a different angle, with the "heat" of all time, for new members.
http://www.jatland.com/cgi-bin/ub/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=624&P=1&SID=29835
http://www.jatland.com/cgi-bin/ub/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=6718&P=1&SID=29835#ID10
http://www.jatland.com/cgi-bin/ub/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=5247&P=1&SID=29835#ID5
http://www.jatland.com/cgi-bin/ub/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=624&P=1&SID=29835
http://www.jatland.com/cgi-bin/ub/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=6718&P=1&SID=29835#ID10
http://www.jatland.com/cgi-bin/ub/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=5247&P=1&SID=29835#ID5
S
sabeena
Guest
Dear All
What we become depends on what we 'EXPERIENCE' and the 'CIRCUMSTANCES' we have been in!
I too am married to a non-jat...now that's not really b'coz I think otherwise of guys from my community but since I had always been exposed to a particular lifestyle...and therefore choosed to be with somebody of a similar frame of reference.
I think Jat guys r really thoughtful and caring by nature....pssst....never mind the fact each one has an ego two inches taller than their height haha!
OK OK
To each his own...
on the side...
What we become depends on what we 'EXPERIENCE' and the 'CIRCUMSTANCES' we have been in!
I too am married to a non-jat...now that's not really b'coz I think otherwise of guys from my community but since I had always been exposed to a particular lifestyle...and therefore choosed to be with somebody of a similar frame of reference.
I think Jat guys r really thoughtful and caring by nature....pssst....never mind the fact each one has an ego two inches taller than their height haha!
OK OK
To each his own...
on the side...
brainspeak
Member
sahi!!!.....only one gurl replied other than sonali......and she too has married a non-jat!!!....but she is still full of praise for jats...thts good for the topic of the thread....atleast jat gurls think +vely abt jatboys....
but rajenderji i have a query--- if a gurl marries outside a caste..shestarts using her husband's surname....so do we consider her a jat????
but rajenderji i have a query--- if a gurl marries outside a caste..shestarts using her husband's surname....so do we consider her a jat????
sonalisingh
New member
Ah Ha...Interesting dilemma now.
On this site we seem to scream out anyone who seems to be a non-jat. Then in some other threads we seem to be saying that a Jat girl married to a non-jat ceases to be a Jat.
Now should Sabeena be allowed here ?
(Sabeena...just prodding the folks here. Nothing to do with you...)
Administrators ?
On this site we seem to scream out anyone who seems to be a non-jat. Then in some other threads we seem to be saying that a Jat girl married to a non-jat ceases to be a Jat.
Now should Sabeena be allowed here ?
(Sabeena...just prodding the folks here. Nothing to do with you...)
Administrators ?
Lawyer's brain indeed....hahaha..Looks like Sonali wants the case dismissed without hearing...hahahhahaa...case me naya twist de diya lawer sahiba ne. Dekho ub panch kiya kahte hain. Hamara faisla saaf hai Vakil sahiba ji...law of land does not discrimate on the basis of sex. If a boy can remain jat after marrying to a non jat, girl certain can remain jat. After all dual nationality aur dual surname ka zamana hai na Vakil Sahiba ji...hahahah
Rajendra
A
abhishek
Guest
This is usually where it ends up, same thing happened with that inter-caste marriage thingie.. just waiting for some replies and then you see it happening all over again ;-)
....moderators some working days ahead
brainspeak
Member
well this mandeep guy always brings this- samaj ke thekedar thing......and not the first time has he mentioned this.....mandeep if u have the answer to the question i posted then write it....otherwise plz dont unnecessarily complicate the things....
sonaliji u a r lawyer....so maybe u can anser the question in a better way---if a gurl marries outside a caste..she sarts using her husband's surname....so do we consider her a jat????
and if a jat marries a nonjat gurl do we take tht gurl as a jat??........
it is just a query and it cam to my mind bcoz somebody told me tht if a gurl from a scheduled caste marries to a non scheduled caste guy, she loses her SC status........and if a SC boy gets married to some other caste gurl she gets the SC status....i was just curious if it is true for other castes also......it was kinda legal question not the kind this mandeep guy made it out to be.....
sonaliji u a r lawyer....so maybe u can anser the question in a better way---if a gurl marries outside a caste..she sarts using her husband's surname....so do we consider her a jat????
and if a jat marries a nonjat gurl do we take tht gurl as a jat??........
it is just a query and it cam to my mind bcoz somebody told me tht if a gurl from a scheduled caste marries to a non scheduled caste guy, she loses her SC status........and if a SC boy gets married to some other caste gurl she gets the SC status....i was just curious if it is true for other castes also......it was kinda legal question not the kind this mandeep guy made it out to be.....
scsheorayan
Member
Dear Mandeep,Kuldeep,Abhisek,Sabeena,Rajendra ji and other readers of this topic. There are no absolutely right and wrong answers to the questions raised regarding validity of being called a Jat after marrying a non jat. It is quite possible some readers think otherwise but I will try and put forward a simple fact inherent in Jat culture. Ours is a male dominated society where girl comes to boy's family and takes his family name irrespective of her origin she is accepted in the society as so and so's wife. On the contrary when a Jat girl marries outside the cast she is expected to do the same. But it may not happen for whatever reason. Because the culture thing starts from childhood and by the time girl becomes of marriagable age she has already acquired the culture and even after the marriage she is as much Jat after as she was before.
In a society there must be some flexiblities and this is one of those things for which we can argue till cows come home and never reach a decision. But if we look it from a slightly different angle that this website is for the benefit of jat community then any one who has first hand experience of this culture is fully qualified to make their contribution. Whether it is a Jat girl married to non jat boy or a non jat girl married to a jat boy. Do you agree ?
In a society there must be some flexiblities and this is one of those things for which we can argue till cows come home and never reach a decision. But if we look it from a slightly different angle that this website is for the benefit of jat community then any one who has first hand experience of this culture is fully qualified to make their contribution. Whether it is a Jat girl married to non jat boy or a non jat girl married to a jat boy. Do you agree ?
sonalisingh
New member
Uggh.
Sorry folks. I had written this huge reponse. Took me an hour, and then just lost it. Accidentally cleared the window. Darn!
There is no way I'm going to take another shot.
Sorry folks. I had written this huge reponse. Took me an hour, and then just lost it. Accidentally cleared the window. Darn!
There is no way I'm going to take another shot.
S
shobhit_deshwal
Guest
Dear Rajendra ji,
I thought of getting more information on this, you have increased speculations in my mind.Anyhow, nice to have a reply.
looking forward to more info.
regards,
Shobhit Deshwal
I thought of getting more information on this, you have increased speculations in my mind.Anyhow, nice to have a reply.
looking forward to more info.
regards,
Shobhit Deshwal
sonalisingh
New member
Let me take another stab at this, though in very short form this time.
The issue is fairly complex and the primary reason behind it is that there is no real definition of what a Jat is. I'm not even going to attempt to provide that definition (though it could be one heck of a discussion..any takers ?).
For now lets categorize such definitions under two main folds:
a) A political/legal entity that has collectively/democratically provided the power to declare "Jat" membership or to someone, or take away such membership. Let's say we have some sort of Jat constitution that is enforced by Panches/Khaaps (Whatever).
b) All other definitions of Jats based on informal membership to a race/tribe/commonality of historical experience/shared language...what have you.
Now if we were to go with a) then the matter is straight forward. We just follow whatever the "law" is. If that were to say that a Jat girl on marrying a non jat ceases to be a Jat, then that is the way we would see it. At the same time if such a law stated that a non-Jat girl marrying a Jat boy inherits Jatness and becomes a Jatni, then that is the way it will be. I think it is pretty plain and dry here.
If we go with b), then I too think that it is again pretty straightforward. If a girl/boy is seen and acknowledged as a Jat based on the criteria under this definition until the point of marriage, how can you even take that away from her/him after marriage. Marriage cannot take away your shared cultural experience, history, language, genes,....etc. You simply will continue to be a Jat no matter what.
It is a completely different matter that you may be boycotted from your village etc. but that can't change the fact that you are a Jat regardless.
So the questions raised are easily answered.
Not so easy to answer are other questions that may arise from taking this view. Some that pop up right away are:
o If such a legal entity were to exist as described in a) then what exactly would be the criteria by which we can declare someone to be a Jat, or take away that label from an existing Jat. Interesting topic in and of itself !
o Under b) the immediate question will be whether the offspring of such a mixed marriage can be termed as Jat.
Of course, real life does not have such criteria or categorisations. It a pretty involved mish mash.
The issue is fairly complex and the primary reason behind it is that there is no real definition of what a Jat is. I'm not even going to attempt to provide that definition (though it could be one heck of a discussion..any takers ?).
For now lets categorize such definitions under two main folds:
a) A political/legal entity that has collectively/democratically provided the power to declare "Jat" membership or to someone, or take away such membership. Let's say we have some sort of Jat constitution that is enforced by Panches/Khaaps (Whatever).
b) All other definitions of Jats based on informal membership to a race/tribe/commonality of historical experience/shared language...what have you.
Now if we were to go with a) then the matter is straight forward. We just follow whatever the "law" is. If that were to say that a Jat girl on marrying a non jat ceases to be a Jat, then that is the way we would see it. At the same time if such a law stated that a non-Jat girl marrying a Jat boy inherits Jatness and becomes a Jatni, then that is the way it will be. I think it is pretty plain and dry here.
If we go with b), then I too think that it is again pretty straightforward. If a girl/boy is seen and acknowledged as a Jat based on the criteria under this definition until the point of marriage, how can you even take that away from her/him after marriage. Marriage cannot take away your shared cultural experience, history, language, genes,....etc. You simply will continue to be a Jat no matter what.
It is a completely different matter that you may be boycotted from your village etc. but that can't change the fact that you are a Jat regardless.
So the questions raised are easily answered.
Not so easy to answer are other questions that may arise from taking this view. Some that pop up right away are:
o If such a legal entity were to exist as described in a) then what exactly would be the criteria by which we can declare someone to be a Jat, or take away that label from an existing Jat. Interesting topic in and of itself !
o Under b) the immediate question will be whether the offspring of such a mixed marriage can be termed as Jat.
Of course, real life does not have such criteria or categorisations. It a pretty involved mish mash.
sonalisingh
New member
Just wanted to add that I agree wholly with Shuba Chand....His post pretty much sums the reality.
(BTW: I'm not one for formalities such as special regard for elders or using too much Ji Vis...So please pardon my eccentricities if I don't follow the norms when it comes to such things...I added this because Shuba Chand sounded like the name of one of our more experienced and knowledgeable Jat members, and I see that many people here use Uncle Ji and such......Hope folks don't mind oddball me. )
(BTW: I'm not one for formalities such as special regard for elders or using too much Ji Vis...So please pardon my eccentricities if I don't follow the norms when it comes to such things...I added this because Shuba Chand sounded like the name of one of our more experienced and knowledgeable Jat members, and I see that many people here use Uncle Ji and such......Hope folks don't mind oddball me.
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