How to behave with our Parents...

[ritu]

sir i do not know about the history.but i just said whatever i have seen generally.rahi baat pati bhakti ki sir to aajkal jamana ulta hi h patni bhakt jyada horahe h log.a sir i do not want to start a confrontation here.whatever i felt i said.agar aap ki baat thik h to mujhe to bahut kushi hogi .me to yahi chahti hu ki ma baap ko onki izzat milni chahiye.

Its a myth that daughters take better care of parents than sons. I can not think of of any single daughter who stands tall enough when one compares with sons like Sarwan Kumar, Ram Chandra Ji in Pitra Bhakti. Girls are certainly known for Pati Bhakti, but not for Pita Bhakti... showing concern for parents is not enough, one has to act also.

RK^2

 

[ritu]

yaha p rog katane ka competition nahi horaha h.sir ki m respect karti hu aur onhone jo kaha h kuch soch samajh k hi kaha hoga.he has seen life more than me.
lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki m galat hu.maine dekhi h ladkiya jo aapne ma baap k liye bahut kuch karti h.

kaatya ROG aakhi r aali line main.............RK ji.................. aapne bilkul theek kahi.......... merre to kuch kehte hi RITU bobbo remote control tai bOMB fodd detti merr upper............................................eibb dekhhe iska juwab kissa de bobbo??......... example sahit diye............jyooker kalkhandee ji ne diya................

 

[lalit_nashier]

yaha p rog katane ka competition nahi horaha h.sir ki m respect karti hu aur onhone jo kaha h kuch soch samajh k hi kaha hoga.he has seen life more than me.
lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki m galat hu.maine dekhi h ladkiya jo aapne ma baap k liye bahut kuch karti h.

िबल्कुल करती है ..........

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! सहमती !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cheers.................

 

[rkumar]

sir i do not know about the history.but i just said whatever i have seen generally.rahi baat pati bhakti ki sir to aajkal jamana ulta hi h patni bhakt jyada horahe h log.a sir i do not want to start a confrontation here.whatever i felt i said.agar aap ki baat thik h to mujhe to bahut kushi hogi .me to yahi chahti hu ki ma baap ko onki izzat milni chahiye.

Hi Ritu,

Healthy debate should never be taken as confrontation. I often keep hearing that girls care more for parents than boy. My very unbiased experience has been that this is not so. I have seen cases where girls have tortured their parents for money. By enlarge boys and girls behave in same manner and there is hardly any statistical variation. However, boys being directly responsible for the parents, tend to discharge their duties as much as possible. In many cases I have seen when parents themselves are responsible for their condition and not the kids. After marriage girls don't stay with parents and the care they can provide is only through concern and not in substance. There are of course always exceptions. If I am asked to give numbers, the bad boys are not more than 5%. In most cases they try to play a good role and parents rarely have to look for their daughters support. Problem often comes not because of boys but because of their wives who are not very considerate to their in-laws' problems. Under such condition boys have to play balancing game between two parties and end up getting bad name from both sides. Being a good husband and good son can be very taxing ...LOL

RK^2

 

[pragati]

Hi Ritu,

Healthy debate should never be taken as confrontation. I often keep hearing that girls care more for parents than boy. My very unbiased experience has been that this is not so. I have seen cases where girls have tortured their parents for money. By enlarge boys and girls behave in same manner and there is hardly any statistical variation. However, boys being directly responsible for the parents, tend to discharge their duties as much as possible. In many cases I have seen when parents themselves are responsible for their condition and not the kids. After marriage girls don't stay with parents and the care they can provide is only through concern and not in substance. There are of course always exceptions. If I am asked to give numbers, the bad boys are not more than 5%. In most cases they try to play a good role and parents rarely have to look for their daughters support. Problem often comes not because of boys but because of their wives who are not very considerate to their in-laws' problems. Under such condition boys have to play balancing game between two parties and end up getting bad name from both sides. Being a good husband and good son can be very taxing ...LOL

RK^2

R K Uncle
You have more experience of life, but as i have seen...in many cases problems start after the marriage of the boy. I agree with you that most of the wives are not considerate to their in-law's problems. In fact, as i have seen...Many girls think in a way...."bus husband hi apna hai, baki sab to paraye hai"...aur bhi bahut si baate hoti hai....lekin kuch aise bhi cases hai, jaha per ladke apne parents ki kudh hi respect nahi karte..you can watch out so many type of cases around you....but that is also true, "girls have more care for their parents than boys" & as you said, they do not act. About that i want to say R.K. Uncle....A girl can not do anything for her parents...for her family, without the permission of her husband and her in-laws...ye ek ladki ki bahut badi majboori hoti hai...even, if her husband or in-laws don't want, she can not stand with her family, when they need her...I hope, you can understand

 

[ritu]

i agree with u pragati.

R K Uncle
You have more experience of life, but as i have seen...in many cases problems start after the marriage of the boy. I agree with you that most of the wives are not considerate to their in-law's problems. In fact, as i have seen...Many girls think in a way...."bus husband hi apna hai, baki sab to paraye hai"...aur bhi bahut si baate hoti hai....lekin kuch aise bhi cases hai, jaha per ladke apne parents ki kudh hi respect nahi karte..you can watch out so many type of cases around you....but that is also true, "girls have more care for their parents than boys" & as you said, they do not act. About that i want to say R.K. Uncle....A girl can not do anything for her parents...for her family, without the permission of her husband and her in-laws...ye ek ladki ki bahut badi majboori hoti hai...even, if her husband or in-laws don't want, she can not stand with her family, when they need her...I hope, you can understand

 

[speedcrazy]

Dear Sir, being a new member i donno whether i'll be able to explain myself like others or not but i wish to put my point of view here. Girls are not that free to do much for their parents as after marriage her actions need permission from her husband and in-laws cuz she depends on her husband so she's not as helpful after marriage as a Boy can be.

Its a myth that daughters take better care of parents than sons. I can not think of of any single daughter who stands tall enough when one compares with sons like Sarwan Kumar, Ram Chandra Ji in Pitra Bhakti. Girls are certainly known for Pati Bhakti, but not for Pita Bhakti... showing concern for parents is not enough, one has to act also.

RK^2

 

[downtoearth]

very true !!

Dear Sir, being a new member i donno whether i'll be able to explain myself like others or not but i wish to put my point of view here. Girls are not that free to do much for their parents as after marriage her actions need permission from her husband and in-laws cuz she depends on her husband so she's not as helpful after marriage as a Boy can be.

women of India have etched a name for themselves in whatever field they have been involved in but its our disfortune dat they cant do anythin widout permission of in laws...

 

[prashantacmet]

As Ritu bobbo mentioned that most of the husbands are tagged as "PATNI BHAGAT".If it seems to be true why the girls only show the sympathy
for their parents & don't they take any perfect action for their miserable parents , obviously PATNIBHAGATS will always move according to their wife's instructions. The fact is, after marriage girls never come out of their family responsibilities & complications and don't want to take any extra burden. Everyone is scared of taking responsibilities & blame to each other.
aapne majje mai koi khalal kona geratta......... baas jibb maa-baap tai millo do aasu baho do........ nuoey howwe ke care................

 

[yashmalik]

We should respect our parents, there is no doubt about it.

But as far as your story is concerned, I think the reason that son flipped out; he thinks his dad is a grown up man and he shouldn't ask the same question again and again.

Moreover, when that son was a kid, he was not that intelligent and the dad knew about it, thats why he didn't mind it.

But the moral of story is "we should respect our parents".

Ajay

No point of confusion

The mature son should have understood that why his highly matured dad asking the same question again and again. Is there anything he(father) wanna point out..??
Instead of getting frustrated so easily without thinking the son should have asked his dad the reason for such 'childish' behaviour. He would have received the answer without hurting his father.

It sounds much logical

ty

 

[ajayverma1973]

Veri nice story, but it is a story only

Hi Pragati & all jatlanders,

It was really a nice story but did anybody noticed one thing that fathers who is having a lot of experience of life is comparing himself with a 3yrs little kid by asking one question again and again.

We are a joint familiy we three brothers and all are married and I didn't remember any signel change when we made argument with our parents but but we have to see the reality of life.

I think each and very person gives regard to his/her parents, expections are always there.


So, please don't compare this story with real life, otherwise the story is very good.

 

[rkumar]

As I can see, most lady members accept the fact that ladies face problems in taking care of parents after marriage, as they are dependent upon their husbands. Let us analyse this problem in details as it affects each one of us. Great deal of our time is wasted fighting at home on such issues. I will generalise my comments based upon my personal experience. Let us start with some basic assumptions;

1. Marriage brings more changes in girl's life than boys, as she has to leave her parents and move over to another home.

2. Boys have greater social responsibility towards their parents than girls and expect their wives to share this responsibility.

3. Girls expect their brothers/ Bhabhis to be sensitive and caring to their parents.

Above three basics shape our day-to-day behaviour and response. There are extreme demands on girls during first few months/ years of married life, as they have to adjust to varying needs of so many new relations in their lives. What sort of response/ support they get from their in-laws and husband shapes their attitude. Only source of their guidance during this period is their mother and other female members from her side. Mother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law are the most common spoilers during this period. Boy usually plays balancing act and tries to earn good name from all sides. In cases where young wife faces problem with in laws, he tends to be illusive during this balancing act. Many boys fall flat on their face during this balancing act. There is a sort of war between wife and mother in law for the control of boy. Left to playing forces, people tend to make mistakes and end up spoiling relations for lifetime. This is where boy and girl both need support and guidance of parents from both sides and which rarely comes in balanced manner. Guidance by mothers is often coloured by their own experience which they had with their mother in law. Fathers rarely guide their daughters and which in my view is the most needed one. This is what I will advise my daughters;
…………………………………………………………………………..
Dear Daughters,

Pay all your attention to your married life and not to me. If you can be supportive to your husband, you need not worry about me, as it would be he who will care for me if need arises. Share responsibilities of your husband in discharging his family responsibilities. Even if you have a maid/ cook at home, make sure that you serve the food and not maid. Your actions should speak for the care you extend to him and not just empty words. Probably your mother thought that these were not important issues, but as a man I can tell you better how to treat your husband and make him do what all he has to for you. Man are like engines who run on fuel and you can provide that through your care. Trust me, you need not worry about me or anyone. It would be your husband who will do everything if you take care of him. This is the only tact of married life and nothing else. More later…

With love
Papa

 

[pragati]

Very Nice R.K.Uncle....You are Great..

 

[ritu]

sir thanks 4 explaining it so clearly.aapne to poori baat ka marm hi kah diya.iske aage ab kya kahu.saari baate bilkul sahi.
regards
ritu

As I can see, most lady members accept the fact that ladies face problems in taking care of parents after marriage, as they are dependent upon their husbands. Let us analyse this problem in details as it affects each one of us. Great deal of our time is wasted fighting at home on such issues. I will generalise my comments based upon my personal experience. Let us start with some basic assumptions;

1. Marriage brings more changes in girl's life than boys, as she has to leave her parents and move over to another home.

2. Boys have greater social responsibility towards their parents than girls and expect their wives to share this responsibility.

3. Girls expect their brothers/ Bhabhis to be sensitive and caring to their parents.

Above three basics shape our day-to-day behaviour and response. There are extreme demands on girls during first few months/ years of married life, as they have to adjust to varying needs of so many new relations in their lives. What sort of response/ support they get from their in-laws and husband shapes their attitude. Only source of their guidance during this period is their mother and other female members from her side. Mother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law are the most common spoilers during this period. Boy usually plays balancing act and tries to earn good name from all sides. In cases where young wife faces problem with in laws, he tends to be illusive during this balancing act. Many boys fall flat on their face during this balancing act. There is a sort of war between wife and mother in law for the control of boy. Left to playing forces, people tend to make mistakes and end up spoiling relations for lifetime. This is where boy and girl both need support and guidance of parents from both sides and which rarely comes in balanced manner. Guidance by mothers is often coloured by their own experience which they had with their mother in law. Fathers rarely guide their daughters and which in my view is the most needed one. This is what I will advise my daughters;
…………………………………………………………………………..
Dear Daughters,

Pay all your attention to your married life and not to me. If you can be supportive to your husband, you need not worry about me, as it would be he who will care for me if need arises. Share responsibilities of your husband in discharging his family responsibilities. Even if you have a maid/ cook at home, make sure that you serve the food and not maid. Your actions should speak for the care you extend to him and not just empty words. Probably your mother thought that these were not important issues, but as a man I can tell you better how to treat your husband and make him do what all he has to for you. Man are like engines who run on fuel and you can provide that through your care. Trust me, you need not worry about me or anyone. It would be your husband who will do everything if you take care of him. This is the only tact of married life and nothing else. More later…

With love
Papa

 

[ritu]

prashant can u leave that mahapanchyat thread there only why are u draaging it everywhere.tum mujhse itne chote ho ki mujhe shobha nahi deta ye tu tu me me karna.humor ke liye thik h but i know its not.
to m haath jod k kahti hu bhai tu jeeta m haari.leave me alone.

kaatya ROG aakhi r aali line main.............RK ji.................. aapne bilkul theek kahi.......... merre to kuch kehte hi RITU bobbo remote control tai bOMB fodd detti merr upper............................................eibb dekhhe iska juwab kissa de bobbo??......... example sahit diye............jyooker kalkhandee ji ne diya................

 

[msingh]

pragati ,,this is a very nice way of reminding all of us,,tht the way our parents love us ,,,bina kissi swarth bhavana se pyar karana,,,,,i know i love my parents,,,,but kabhi kabhi maine bhi impatient hojati thi,,,,paar maine unn ki unn bhavanao ko uss time samajhi jab mai khudd maa bani,,,,and now i cant tall u how pateient i am,,,,aur saach kahu too aaj to tum nemeri aakho maine aansu nikal diye,,,u r really bad(thanks for such a beautiful story once again sweety)

 

[prashantacmet]

Bobbo... tu to bohat cho maan gi ........ main to nuoey majaak si main likh diya tha........ bobbo jyaada cho main na aawe le merre 5-7 rehptte dhar de tu........ Tu to yha merri sabtte laadli bobbo..................arr tu baawli hai ke .............haath kyoun jodde chhotte Bhai aage......... lath lekke soodha kar de sussrre ne...............aaj tai paachhe issi baat na kariye................................

prashant can u leave that mahapanchyat thread there only why are u draaging it everywhere.tum mujhse itne chote ho ki mujhe shobha nahi deta ye tu tu me me karna.humor ke liye thik h but i know its not.
to m haath jod k kahti hu bhai tu jeeta m haari.leave me alone.