i want a solid solution of this issue

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sanjay_dhaka

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Ram Ram Bhaio aur Baheno,
all Jats belong to Rajasthan, Delhi, Haryana, Punjab, Uttar Pradesh and some scattered in other places. i met many people who belong to many states, educated and uneducated, urban and rurals,businessmen and employed.i got a lot of honour from them but i observed a bad thing that jats of haryana have bad thinking for jats of U.P. can anyone tell me regarding this and i want solid reasons and solutions on this issue pls.
 
Sanjay Singh Dhaka (Oct 13, 2004 03:44 a.m.):
Ram Ram Bhaio aur Baheno,
all Jats belong to Rajasthan, Delhi, Haryana, Punjab, Uttar Pradesh and some scattered in other places. i met many people who belong to many states, educated and uneducated, urban and rurals,businessmen and employed.i got a lot of honour from them but i observed a bad thing that jats of haryana have bad thinking for jats of U.P. can anyone tell me regarding this and i want solid reasons and solutions on this issue pls.
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Dear Sanjay,

Being from UP and having very close relations with Haryana heartland, my experience has been that there is no such thing, leave aside some casual jokes which we from UP also have about Haryana people. Being next door neighbours, there will always be comparison between them. There was a time when western UP was far ahead of Haryana, but with time they have not only caught up, they have moved ahead on infrastructure and many other fronts. May be this is where we are lagging behind in UP, ofcourse for no fault of ours..UP government is to be blammed for this. I have written many letters to consecutive Chief ministers on the development of western UP, but there has been no response what so ever. High time we Jats from western UP unite and make loud noise about it, so that its heard in Lucknow..

Rajendra
 
Pardon me, it's a wrong thinking Sanjayji,

Mostly JAT ke ghar main Ch. Charan Singh ka foto bhi milega aapko. aur abhi bhi har aadmi unka naam se pehle Chaudhary laga kar hi sambodheet karta hai..

Baki aachey - bhoondey... har parkaar ke aadmi... to har jagah miltey hai ..



Sanjay Singh Dhaka (Oct 13, 2004 03:44 a.m.):
Ram Ram Bhaio aur Baheno,
all Jats belong to Rajasthan, Delhi, Haryana, Punjab, Uttar Pradesh and some scattered in other places. i met many people who belong to many states, educated and uneducated, urban and rurals,businessmen and employed.i got a lot of honour from them but i observed a bad thing that jats of haryana have bad thinking for jats of U.P. can anyone tell me regarding this and i want solid reasons and solutions on this issue pls.
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r.k. sehrawat (Oct 14, 2004 06:04 a.m.):
Dear Sanjay,

Basically we are parochials. It applies to not only inter-state, we tend to look down upon people from other khaps, villages, districts and so on. Perhaps we are too possessive of everything around us which in turn makes us a bit arrogant and gives an air of superiority, which though most of the time is hollow. As far as UP jats are concerned upto a certain stage I too had a sort of disliking for them in my earlier years of life as during formative years we were told that UP wallahs do nothing but kill each other over petty matters. But lo and behold, I married a girl from Western UP and then observed that they are not different from us. Rather they are more well-behaved, respectful inasmuch they treat their guests better than we on this part of Yamuna do. I have relations from all states, my own village is in Delhi, my mama are in Haryana, my nani was from Rajasthan, I myself is married to a paro and my mother-in-law is from MP. I can vouch, without hesitation are all of them are equally nice. To underline, I take you back to school where we studied : "bura jo dekhan jo main chala...." On the lighter side, if you don't like someone, extend relationship and the disliking will turn into liking.
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How very right. Sehrawat Ji has hit the nail on the head. May be there were times when people from different states saw each other in that manner but times are changing fast. Though there is still so much social evil that needs to be got rid off.

I had mentioned this earlier too that though I am a Haryanvi, and very proud at that, I am married to a PARO. One thing I have noticed in Western UP villages is that their women folk do not slog in fields like their counterparts in Haryana.

And I do agree with Sehrawat Ji that they indeed look after their guests well, sometimes too well. Like I always tell my PARO: Tum UP wale Pavna Pavna kah ke achha bekoop banao ho!!! (This was in lighter vein).

No, there are no differences amongst us. It is a matter of perception.

Regards,

JS Malik
 
Dear Uncle,

It may be right now what u r thinking, But there are some differences !

Infact I also could not understand in details, but i found this misunderstanding is even shown among with educated Haryana community, specially when they look for marriage part of their children (daughters).

There are many examples in western UP that people ask for dowry. This could be one SOLID REASON.

However my experience is different, when i was looking for an educated girl for myself in 1999-2000, then i found many Haryana family were not interested in me, because by roots i belong to shamli area-Western UP.

Some of the people had told me on front also that they can not consider to send their daughter in UP, while i told them that we don't need anything, only well educated girl who can work with me in USA. We had everything in family, we both brothers were in US, having flat, house, car, property everything, but still i could not overcome their dislike !

That time i tried to understand why these people are having such kind of mentality about us ? From UP i was accepted by every one & finally i left that Haryana understanding people & got married to a good UP girl, form my own Shamli area. Now i think that i did correct.

Regards,
G.R.Beniwal
 
Bhai Beniwal,

Well, I accept your point of view in so far as existence of differences between peoples is concerned. It is natural I suppose. It is a fact that even within a state there are differences between people from different areas. People from Sonepat did not marry their daughters in Hissar, Rewari and Dilli Suba (Pahad Side) few decades back. But once Delhi villages became prosperous, it was the most sought after destination.

May be you are right about the dowry part. The JATS of UP do take and accept dowry but so do JATS from other areas as well. The value may vary. But things are changing very fast. Allow me to give two examples, both personal experiences. One of our close relatives in Meerut married four of his daughters, each one to a Defence Officer (One Air Force and three Army Officers). He spent a lot of money on each marriage (I relucantly attended all of them and think rather poorly of all his son-in-laws). The dowry included the mandatory Maruti Car. But when his son was to be married he took only 'EK RUPAY KA RISHTA'.

I got married to my Paro in 1984 and that time I was a Captain. The going rate of dowry for a Captain those days was a lot. I went to Meerut to say YES (I saw only one girl and married her) and finalise the date of marriage and was accompanied by one of her cousins. While we were crossing the Boat Bridge on Yamuna River at Baghpat (The Concrete bridge on Yamuna River came up much later) he asked me reluctantly as to what dowry would I demand. I told him point blank that indeed I was thinking of dowry. He asked me what. I told him to get a bridge constructed over Yamuna River. He kept his mouth shut till Meerut. And now whenever we cross that bridge while going to or coming from Sonepat, I tell Paro "Yu Pul tere dahej mein aaya tha"

Basically, it is all individual perception and once individuals change, families will. And once families change then even society will.

Regards,

JS Malik
 
Dear all,

I had a unique opportunity to be associated with Jats from all states for better part of my life. I agree with Sanjay and I also failed to understand this indifference. I commanded a Jat company and the battalion having 50% Jats from Rajasthan, Haryana and UP. When I joined my battalion, all UP Jats troops were very happy more so, the one from UP since I come from UP.

After I conducted the first promotion cadre a total of 10 people failed of which 7 were Jat and 5 of them from UP. I had worked very hard with that cadre myself spending about 2 to 3 hours with them in the evening to answer any questions if they had any problem. I used to get them to Bn school. Once the result was out, the only JCO in the Unit from UP with another Havildar came to me and told me I quote " Lt Sahab aapne to apne sare ladke fail kar diye". They were referring to the 5 Jat boys from UP those failed. I asked them two questions: Firstly, did they ever come and asked those boys attending cadre, if they had any problem? the answer was "NO". Secondly, in a mixed battalion, could they guarantee me that only Jat boys from UP can win the war for us in future battle. I told them, that if they considered those boys as their own, then they must help them in getting trained so that their lives will be saved in war. No one ever came to me there after with a similar complaint.
Than not withstanding, I found many of our boys followed the policy of appeasing their seniors who mattered for their own benefit. Nothing wrong in it, but not good for people in the profession of soldiering. I continued to notice till the time I retired, the same difference as mentioned by Mr. Sehrawat and Mr. Dhaka. I found while the people from Rajasthan were more liberal in this, boys from Haryana were more conservative. I felt, that our JCO's and NCO's were more responsible for keeping them divided rather than united. They were also able to create different groups, among people from different district of Haryana mainly. My study of my troops found that people closer to Delhi were more into it than people away from Delhi. However the best thing was the company and battalion spirit always got them together and produced best out each one of them irrespective of their native place.
I guess, we identify more closely to the people who are from close proximity to our native place. That is why we normally mix up more easily with people from North India as compared to people from South or East.
The bottom line is each community and area has some good points and some bad points. We just need to understand them and identify these points. Even if some one behaves indifferently purely because he comes from a different area then ours, we need to be more tolerent and should not reciprocate. That will help those people to change their attitude and make them realize about their misunderstanding of the whole issue.
 
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