Intercaste Marriages.

[arvind1069]

its not a fair question that how many inter-caste marriage are successful, even marriages in same caste can face the same music and they do!
gaon mein maximum shaadiya same caste ki hoti hai, fir bhi batware hote hai, koi khaas ijjat nahin hoti saas saasur ki, bas gaon mein divorce nahin hote kyu ki females are not independent enough to take stand against their men and jaats are too backward a class to think bout punar-vivaah(re-marriage), so social pressure is immense.
If there is a question about compatibility(vichaar milna!!) then i guess we(jats) have many friends in different castes and we do enjoy the company of other castes(although we can not share haryanvi jokes!!)...so being from same caste does not guarantee compatibility.

aur rahi baat chodhar pane ki to kaam nikalwane mein punjabi and baniye bhi kisi se kam nahin hai, and i guess jats are most arrogant type. from my knowledge choudhary is just a prefix used by "owners of agricultural land", nothing more, its not associated with any caste.

i completely agree with what u said. its all about compatibility. same caste ki shadiyan bhi toot jaati hain. same caste is not a guarantee of compatibility. aur hamare dost sab castes se hote hain. not only jats. infact doosri caste valon se friendship jyada gehri hoti hai.

 

[choudharyneelam]

yaaro jo intercaste marriage kai HAAQ mai hai wo bahut acchi misal kayam kar rahai hai agai anai walo kai liyai or mai to kahta hu ki chamar chudai tali nai dhobi dhanak in sab mai jis ka jahan dil karai shadi karai jo intercaste marriage cahtai hai or baki ham jaisai pichdo ko pichda hi rahnai dai

hum pichhde hue nahin hain.....picchade to inter-caste marriage karne waale hain, jo ki badon ki seekh ko sahi direction mein nahin samajh paaye

people lag behind not because they don't accept the westernisation but they lag behind with their thoughts

it is usually said.....open up for change but not for values and thus losing the culture

 

[arvind1069]

vran vaivastha matlab koi zaati paati nahi..
hum jyadatar hindu jat iss arya samaj ko mante hain , to kya kissi ne dusri zaati me apni chhori ya chhora byaaha ho to batao,kisi ne bhaaj ke baisak byaah kar liya ho wo niyarri baat s , bhai arvind aap ke ghaar ki bi sari rishtedari jato me hi hogi.aap log bi iss arya samaj ko mante hoge.
hindu jato ka sab se pichhe rahne ka karan iss arya samaj ko manan hain.
adde bi kai isse honge jisne dushri zaatiyo me byaah kar rakhya hoga , unn ta puchh lyo k result s, ek aadha upwad to alag baat s bakki sare pachhtate honge.
kyuki vichar mil hi nahi sakte , ek brahman ke alag vichar honge , ek mahajan ke alag , harijan ke alag honge., suru me naya naya chaw ho s pachhe bera patte s ak apna khoon k ho s aur praya k ho s.

hindu jaton ka peeche rehne ka kaaran arya samaj nahi hai, uska kaaran roohrivaad aur illeteracy hai.
aur vichaar to har insaan ke alag alag hote hai. har ek ka nature alag alag hota hai. 2 jaaton ke vichaar bhi alag alag ho sakte hai. kya hamari dosti sirf jaaton main hi hoti hai? kya hamari kisi aur caste ke logon ke saath banti nahi hai?
aur ek hi environment main rehne wale logon ke vichaar same hote hain. caste se nahi.

 

[nishantrathi82]

I don't know whether intercaste are good or bad but what i see is my parents are the best persons who thinks best for me so i would love to go by the decision they take about my marriage and i m sure it will be in jat's only. I m strictly against inter cast marriages.

 

[choudharyneelam]

hindu jaton ka peeche rehne ka kaaran arya samaj nahi hai, uska kaaran roohrivaad aur illeteracy hai

i already wrote two-three times here about the meaning of a literate and an educated.....kaafi antar hai dono mein

and to understand a culture one need not to be literate, but his/her education make the things understandable easily....literacy only makes a person capable enough to express the ideas or thoughts which are aquired through education

 

[sachinb]

its matter of identity associating with a group, varna aaj hum jatland par kis liye hain. Persona choice of mine NO INTERCAST MARRIAGE
People can give thousand logics, there are more things to it also Nahi to vaa Tau aali ho jyaagi ke bhai Sukke Vichaara mein to ke dhaar kadhega:rock

 

[shweta123]

very logical



very true as per i read in some books



totally right



appreciable thought



now you might stand a little wrong here......There are total 4 Varnas. As you said above about mating, read it again and think well. If no boundations are kept here then two people can have a new born even with the cousin relationship because by nature one might be having the qualities of brahmin varna whereas the other having qualities of kshtriya varna but both born under the same varna, say kshtriya. This way the respected relationships can be totally distorted and deteriorated b'coz each other don't know who is from which caste.....i think ki some such things might be experienced and due to that the caste system then came into existance....warna Kshtriya, yaani ki rajput aur jaat ko kya padi thi ki wo ek varna ke hoke bhi alag alag kahlaayen.....still we jaat cannot marry in rajput community, uske peeche bhi ek kahani hai which i don't remember exactly aur inn dono castes mein bhai-chara hai....inhi sab baaton ko soch ke maine muslim culture ko yahan highlight kiya tha, jahan sirf ek maan se janme bacche apas mein shaadi nahin karte, lekin apne mama ya bua kisi ke bhi bacchon se koi pabandi nahin hoti.....so you wanna have such kind of marriage system after abolishing this caste system?



true it is.....but that is a kind of identity which helps us to know and understand not only the relationship of father and mother but also the other important relationships with which we are surronded by

and if u still don't appreciate it, then why you having a gotra like chahal after your name?????

aur ladka-ladki sirf apni intercaste shaadi karwane ke chakkar mein kitab ki knowledge adaate hain....i don't understand why don't they learn to develop their own insight and philosophy....books are just the way to teach you to develop such qualities through knowledge, its not to make you stick with every word like science principles or laws

Neelam, you seem to be staunch supporter of intra caste marriages

Now, you said that by following the practice of inter caste marriages, the relationships can be distorted. Well, I tried a lot but didnt got the logic behind this. If A baniya marries a Brahmin then how would the practice of marrying within relationships crop up owing to this? This is just like any other intra caste marriage in structure. Marrying in cousins & inter caste marriages are totally different things !

And in inter caste marriages also there are mami, mausi, chacha, bua, tau etc..... so relationship dont change in shape anyhow ....

And your contention regarding why one uses gotra after his or her name : It is customary ! We didnt chose it. When we were admitted in nursery we came to be known by that name officially and thereby it became a part of our name. "Chahal" in itself is nothing without the first name.

Where is this issue linked with the inter caste marriages? For eg a 'Dahiya' girl marries a 'Agarwal' boy then the couple may use 'Agarwal' after the name of their child as is customary or they can use 'Dahiya' or just anything..... it is nowhere illegal to choose any surname or not to use any !
And the surnames are used coz it is customary and one cannot always explain his or her point of view behind using any surname each time it is asked..... though anyone can choose not to use any.....

"kitaabo ki knowledge" - well till date I have never studied anything on this subject in any course book/any other book. So, the question of sticking to anything stated therein doesnt arises. Knowledge & books just give you some points to ponder upon and form your opnion which can be any way round....

My 'insight & philosophy' says that ki jaati ka tag laga ke shaadi karne se hi mun mil jaayein jaroori nahi ....... if someone is going for a arranged marriage then go as per the wish of the whole of your family in totality and in case one feels inclined to someone from another caste then this boundary shouldnt be tough enough to crumple the strenghth of their association in case the association is really worth it .......

 

[roopak]

DO what u say!!

I think this has been stretched too far in this thread. Let us cut the long story short and come to the point, instead of debating for the sake of it.

How many of us, those who have participated in this thread have actually got married out of caste. PLease come forward and share your name with all of us.

I think its easy to share thoughts, but it is of no substance unless one follow it.

We have no right to debate on this issue unless we really mean it.

 

[nishantrathi82]

Ok those who are against intra caste marriages i will like 2 ask one questions do they think that their parents are not a happy couples by getting marry in jat's?

 

[choudharyneelam]

Neelam, you seem to be staunch supporter of intra caste marriages

i carry my thoughts apart from parents' teachings and culture inherited within

Now, you said that by following the practice of inter caste marriages, the relationships can be distorted.

dear, i didn't mentioned the 'caste' word there....u can have a look again....all i taken as per the varna system and mating (about which Arvind had said a lot)....i wrote all that just to make clear what is the importance of caste....without knowing this caste there are chances that a person might not understand the extended relationship circle and can marry a cousin.....so i just commented on the thought of Arvind

And in inter caste marriages also there are mami, mausi, chacha, bua, tau etc..... so relationship dont change in shape anyhow ....

.....again, my comment was according to the phiosophy of Arvind....jo ki baat to badi badi kar raha hai....ki insaan ki pahchan karm se hoti hai na ki jaati se.....but he is forgetting that this caste is required at many places to show your identity

"kitaabo ki knowledge" - well till date I have never studied anything on this subject in any course book/any other book. So, the question of sticking to anything stated therein doesnt arises. Knowledge & books just give you some points to ponder upon and form your opnion which can be any way round....

ur every response is having the word 'caste' that's why you not getting my point, whereas this was totally missing in Arvind's reply and all i wrote according to his wordings....and about VARNAS, you will definitely find it in some NCERT books and the same explanation that given by Arvind is written over there.

My 'insight & philosophy' says that ki jaati ka tag laga ke shaadi karne se hi mun mil jaayein jaroori nahi ....... if someone is going for a arranged marriage then go as per the wish of the whole of your family in totality and in case one feels inclined to someone from another caste then this boundary shouldnt be tough enough to crumple the strenghth of their association in case the association is really worth it .......

now, here i can add my reply according to your thoughts.....you too quite acceptable at your point....but also, no surety is there in the inter-caste marriage...reasons:

• going against your parents choice...that person just care about his/her individual feelings
• even if parents agree, they do it so under pressure to fulfill the wish of that particular child and the same sacrifice by parents is seen here as it was always untill the child was brought-up....so parents can't keep their choice...right?
• if a person is not able to understand the very own inherited culture then i don't think that he/she will accept it at other's place....so there is disturbance in both the families...i mean the charm is vanished
• if a person is not able to make adjustments with the partner chosen by parents, then its 100% sure no adjustment can be seen with other community person,....can only happen when the person doesn't find any other place to find his/her freedom limits or anybody to listen/share the problems
• this way that couple either keep on reforming the social group or just find a place where nobody can question them
• and when it is not at all accepted by family then the difference is easily visible even to a little child in relation with respect, value, concerns, love, etc.

rest, i never oppose it for others as that is their personal life, but also never accept such people in my life as i also have my principles....ya, a formality i can do with such selfish couple(who all form a new relationship after breaking the unconditional bond)

parents only take a long time to accept this change taking place globally....rest, everybody is happy with their life in their own way

 

[mittu]

now, here i can add my reply according to your thoughts.....you too quite acceptable at your point....but also, no surety is there in the inter-caste marriage...reasons:

• going against your parents choice...that person just care about his/her individual feelings

• 
  
  Going against our(kids) choice???? what is that?? ummmm....MASOCHIST????
  The very reason why parents want same caste marriage for their children is the reaction they will face from society, its the driving force against inter-caste marriages.
  

  [*]even if parents agree, they do it so under pressure to fulfill the wish of that particular child and the same sacrifice by parents is seen here as it was always untill the child was brought-up....so parents can't keep their choice...right?

  
  i guess we can say same about kids jo apni armaano ka gala ghot dete hai apne maa-baap ki jhoothi shaan ko baaki unselfish jaato k samne bachane k liye??(filmi!!)
  what kind of parents will make scape goat of their kids, just to say, "MERA BETA JAATNI LEKE AAYA HAI" fir beshak wahi jatni ghar jaake joot marti ho sasur ko!!!!!
  
  

  [*]if a person is not able to understand the very own inherited culture then i don't think that he/she will accept it at other's place....so there is disturbance in both the families...i mean the charm is vanished

  
  CULTURE K VULTURE: culture is most flexible word in india!!
  agar aap divide and rule policy hi laga rahe ho to let me tell you funny side of it, haryana k jaat usually UP k jato mein shaadi karna pasand nahin karte, hisar wale rohtak ki ladkiyon se darte hai, rohtak wale dilli ki ladkiyo se and so on, agar aap aiese hi castes ko alag karte rahoge to bas!!!
  
  

  [*]if a person is not able to make adjustments with the partner chosen by parents, then its 100% sure no adjustment can be seen with other community person,....can only happen when the person doesn't find any other place to find his/her freedom limits or anybody to listen/share the problems
  
  Ewwwww!!!!!! whaaaaaaat???????? did i read it right or wat???? who said so??
  should i comment over or just say LOL!!!!
  unselfish neelam ji with all due respect kya hum jaan sakte ki yeh phenomenon kyu hota hai???

  
  

  [*]this way that couple either keep on reforming the social group or just find a place where nobody can question them

  
  again, awwww!!!!
  

  [*]and when it is not at all accepted by family then the difference is easily visible even to a little child in relation with respect, value, concerns, love, etc.

  
  inni se baat k liye alag point, uppar wale mein add kar dete, firse awwwww!! karna padega

rest, i never oppose it for others as that is their personal life, but also never accept such people in my life as i also have my principles....ya, a formality i can do with such selfish couple(who all form a new relationship after breaking the unconditional bond)

yeah u are not opposing anybody, they are just SELFISH according to you, nice

DISCLAIMER: If somehow someone felt offended please sulk in private and take this is my most sincere apology

 

[mittu]

Ok those who are against intra caste marriages i will like 2 ask one questions do they think that their parents are not a happy couples by getting marry in jat's?

bhaisaab, hum intra-caste marriage k khilaaf nahin hai, we just mean that criteria for marriage should not be caste, but LOVE, COMPATIBILITY, MUTUAL INTEREST.
Now, rahi baat parents ki shaadiyo ki baat, wo kehte hai naa majboori ka naam mahatma gandhi, same case hai, shaadi ho gayi, bache ho gaye, they never had any choice!!!! uss time females independent nahin hoti thee, they were not able to raise their child by their own and public humiliation was another factor.

I have a firm belief, duniya mein aadmi apni pehchan khud banata hai, jo wo hai, wo kiske ghar mein peda hua hai uspe to uska koi zor hota hi nahin na.
Dosti ka rishta to bahut hi majboot rishta mana jata hai, usme to koi jaat-paat nahin poochhi jaati, yaa log wo bhi karte hai!!

JATLAND k to saare member jaat honge, yahan hi log ek dusre ki latte faadne ko ho jate hai...itne kataash to orkut ki hindu-muslim community mein bhi nahin hote honge

 

[bhavnasingh20]

i carry my thoughts apart from parents' teachings and culture inherited within

dear, i didn't mentioned the 'caste' word there....u can have a look again....all i taken as per the varna system and mating (about which Arvind had said a lot)....i wrote all that just to make clear what is the importance of caste....without knowing this caste there are chances that a person might not understand the extended relationship circle and can marry a cousin.....so i just commented on the thought of Arvind


.....again, my comment was according to the phiosophy of Arvind....jo ki baat to badi badi kar raha hai....ki insaan ki pahchan karm se hoti hai na ki jaati se.....but he is forgetting that this caste is required at many places to show your identity


ur every response is having the word 'caste' that's why you not getting my point, whereas this was totally missing in Arvind's reply and all i wrote according to his wordings....and about VARNAS, you will definitely find it in some NCERT books and the same explanation that given by Arvind is written over there.




now, here i can add my reply according to your thoughts.....you too quite acceptable at your point....but also, no surety is there in the inter-caste marriage...reasons:

• going against your parents choice...that person just care about his/her individual feelings
• even if parents agree, they do it so under pressure to fulfill the wish of that particular child and the same sacrifice by parents is seen here as it was always untill the child was brought-up....so parents can't keep their choice...right?
• if a person is not able to understand the very own inherited culture then i don't think that he/she will accept it at other's place....so there is disturbance in both the families...i mean the charm is vanished
• if a person is not able to make adjustments with the partner chosen by parents, then its 100% sure no adjustment can be seen with other community person,....can only happen when the person doesn't find any other place to find his/her freedom limits or anybody to listen/share the problems
• this way that couple either keep on reforming the social group or just find a place where nobody can question them
• and when it is not at all accepted by family then the difference is easily visible even to a little child in relation with respect, value, concerns, love, etc.

rest, i never oppose it for others as that is their personal life, but also never accept such people in my life as i also have my principles....ya, a formality i can do with such selfish couple(who all form a new relationship after breaking the unconditional bond)

parents only take a long time to accept this change taking place globally....rest, everybody is happy with their life in their own way

n wht abt parents who want their kids to hav a love marriage themselves???

or who accept ki hum isse achchi/achcha ladki/ladka khud nahin dhoondh sakte the apne bachchon ke liye??
fir bhi woh bachche selfish hue????
aur aaj kal kitne cases mein aisa hota hai ki love marriage hote hi mum dad se rishta toot jata hai....
aur bahut arranged marriages bhi aisi hi jahan bachche apne mum dad se baat karna pasand nahin karte.....

aur mein personally bhi aise cases jaanti hoon jahan arranged marriage ke baad khud mum dad bol rahe hein ki humne apne bachche ki zindagi barbad kar di......

u know...m actually shocked to see some of the responses here.....
aisa lag raha hai galti se kisi aur century mein pahunch gayi hoon ...

but to each his own...at the end of the day nobody can change neone's thoughts....n they shudnt even try...

so do whtever u r happy in

 

[choudharyneelam]

Going against our(kids) choice???? what is that?? ummmm....MASOCHIST????
The very reason why parents want same caste marriage for their children is the reaction they will face from society, its the driving force against inter-caste marriages.

i guess we can say same about kids jo apni armaano ka gala ghot dete hai apne maa-baap ki jhoothi shaan ko baaki unselfish jaato k samne bachane k liye??(filmi!!)

one feels so only if there is a big gap of communication or understanding in the family....n its my personal experience, as i'm also at the stage of marriage....so i never felt like that....if one is unable to explain the reason of not going with a particular person then its obvious parents will think that the child is still immature and then take the decision on their own....for which such children says that it was all imposed....but who understands the root cause(except the family)....and the blame game thus prevails everywhere

what kind of parents will make scape goat of their kids, just to say, "MERA BETA JAATNI LEKE AAYA HAI" fir beshak wahi jatni ghar jaake joot marti ho sasur ko!!!!!

ur wordings are interesting.....this also speaks about a culture .....no comments here, sorry for that

CULTURE K VULTURE: culture is most flexible word in india!!
agar aap divide and rule policy hi laga rahe ho to let me tell you funny side of it, haryana k jaat usually UP k jato mein shaadi karna pasand nahin karte, hisar wale rohtak ki ladkiyon se darte hai, rohtak wale dilli ki ladkiyo se and so on, agar aap aiese hi castes ko alag karte rahoge to bas!!!

absolutely right, many proposals have been denied by us from that side, no matter how qualified or well settled they were....reason:

demands there never comes to an end (biggest reason)

there are other reasons also,....still i say, not all are like that.....we can find good match there also.....but priority is always given to the well-known area as one can understand the facts better and decide accordingly

yeah u are not opposing anybody, they are just SELFISH according to you, nice

ya, maybe so....and i feel pity for the parents also, when first they deny for inter-caste marriages, don't accept their children for few years, but then.....bring them back at home.....they can't even stand firm at their principles.....but there are many who are known to me have completely ignored such children who only care about their individual relatioship and feelings....and seriously, if parents will stand firm at their decisions then for sure children will think twice before raising any voice against their near ones and will atleast try to understand the reasons for such denials

ladka ho to use property se bey-dakhal kar dena aur usse koi nata na rakhna....aur agar ladki ho to mud kar ghar ki taraf dekhne ka mauka bhi na dena.....i feel ki these are the right things done by few parents, even after knowing that he/she was their only child(jise pure laad-pyaar se paal kar bada kiya tha)....warna ek akela iss bhram mein rahta hai ki maa-baap jaayenge kahan, ek na ek din baat to maanni hi padegi....huh!!

DISCLAIMER: If somehow someone felt offended please sulk in private and take this is my most sincere apology

atleast i didn't taken it negatively...its ur personal opinion....so all fine

 

[arvind1069]

Going against our(kids) choice???? what is that?? ummmm....MASOCHIST????
The very reason why parents want same caste marriage for their children is the reaction they will face from society, its the driving force against inter-caste marriages.


i guess we can say same about kids jo apni armaano ka gala ghot dete hai apne maa-baap ki jhoothi shaan ko baaki unselfish jaato k samne bachane k liye??(filmi!!)
what kind of parents will make scape goat of their kids, just to say, "MERA BETA JAATNI LEKE AAYA HAI" fir beshak wahi jatni ghar jaake joot marti ho sasur ko!!!!!



CULTURE K VULTURE: culture is most flexible word in india!!
agar aap divide and rule policy hi laga rahe ho to let me tell you funny side of it, haryana k jaat usually UP k jato mein shaadi karna pasand nahin karte, hisar wale rohtak ki ladkiyon se darte hai, rohtak wale dilli ki ladkiyo se and so on, agar aap aiese hi castes ko alag karte rahoge to bas!!!





again, awwww!!!!


inni se baat k liye alag point, uppar wale mein add kar dete, firse awwwww!! karna padega


yeah u are not opposing anybody, they are just SELFISH according to you, nice

DISCLAIMER: If somehow someone felt offended please sulk in private and take this is my most sincere apology

u answered that confused girl very effectively....the way it should be.

 

[choudharyneelam]

n wht abt parents who want their kids to hav a love marriage themselves???

or who accept ki hum isse achchi/achcha ladki/ladka khud nahin dhoondh sakte the apne bachchon ke liye??

normally that case is not considered for argument/discussion....and these are rare but on an increase

fir bhi woh bachche selfish hue????

dear, u also didn't read my response properly....here i'm copy pasting.....selfish couple(who all form a new relationship after breaking the unconditional bond) .....so i wrote selfish only those who create such situation....and that's not for all

aur aaj kal kitne cases mein aisa hota hai ki love marriage hote hi mum dad se rishta toot jata hai....
aur bahut arranged marriages bhi aisi hi jahan bachche apne mum dad se baat karna pasand nahin karte....

....i already said about it in my previous responses....so don't want to stretch it

aur mein personally bhi aise cases jaanti hoon jahan arranged marriage ke baad khud mum dad bol rahe hein ki humne apne bachche ki zindagi barbad kar di......

if its so, then that's the destiny and unexpected....you can just calculate about future but cannot fix the future's situations in advance....change and acceptance is required

u know...m actually shocked to see some of the responses here.....
aisa lag raha hai galti se kisi aur century mein pahunch gayi hoon ...

this happens just b'coz of individual differences....padhai aur knowledge ke liye aage ki century mein dekhna accha hai, lekin for culture you need to look back first and then, should move forward....rest, i don't feel anything strange like u as i know different thoughts, perceptions, living style, etc.(whether old or new or collaboration of the two) will be experienced throughout our life....kapdon mein jab purana fashion dohraya jata hai to koi aise strange feel nahin karta, but take it as the most trendy

but to each his own...at the end of the day nobody can change neone's thoughts....n they shudnt even try...

so do whtever u r happy in

same is my thinking ....that's why i never become any obstacle anywhere but like to share my opinions wherever i'm also availed a membership, (whether free or paid)

 

[sachinb]

arre bhai nyu batao ke ib kis kis ne aapne Byaah karwaane sein
lets ask those who are planning to get married,,,,,,,un pain puchha ke kisne byaah ke lyaavenge:rock Chalo nyu bi bata dyo ke kaunsi cast ki preference jyaada hai

 

[nishantrathi82]

Indian Marriages- Indian marriage is not just a marriage of the two individual but marriage of the two families. Marriages r means to carry forward the caste regimes and r used as instruments for continuation of the caste lineage. The entrenched caste hierarchy in the indian social context makes marriage an institution that is also responsible for preventing and propagating socio-religious values and behaviour.

So marrying in same caste is always a wise decision as the persons and their values(in terms of religoin) are almost same and it will be easy for both the parties to deal with eachother with a ease.

And 100% its one's own decision i m just putting my views.

 

[choudharyneelam]

Indian Marriages- Indian marriage is not just a marriage of the two individual but marriage of the two families. Marriages r means to carry forward the caste regimes and r used as instruments for continuation of the caste lineage. The entrenched caste hierarchy in the indian social context makes marriage an institution that is also responsible for preventing and propagating socio-religious values and behaviour.

So marrying in same caste is always a wise decision as the persons and their values(in terms of religoin) are almost same and it will be easy for both the parties to deal with eachother with a ease.

And 100% its one's own decision i m just putting my views.

absolutely right!!....thanks for putting it here as i was missing this thing to explain

 

[arvind1069]

very logical



very true as per i read in some books



totally right



appreciable thought


now you might stand a little wrong here......There are total 4 Varnas. As you said above about mating, read it again and think well. If no boundations are kept here then two people can have a new born even with the cousin relationship because by nature one might be having the qualities of brahmin varna whereas the other having qualities of kshtriya varna but both born under the same varna, say kshtriya. This way the respected relationships can be totally distorted and deteriorated b'coz each other don't know who is from which caste.....i think ki some such things might be experienced and due to that the caste system then came into existance....warna Kshtriya, yaani ki rajput aur jaat ko kya padi thi ki wo ek varna ke hoke bhi alag alag kahlaayen.....still we jaat cannot marry in rajput community, uske peeche bhi ek kahani hai which i don't remember exactly aur inn dono castes mein bhai-chara hai....inhi sab baaton ko soch ke maine muslim culture ko yahan highlight kiya tha, jahan sirf ek maan se janme bacche apas mein shaadi nahin karte, lekin apne mama ya bua kisi ke bhi bacchon se koi pabandi nahin hoti.....so you wanna have such kind of marriage system after abolishing this caste system?


true it is.....but that is a kind of identity which helps us to know and understand not only the relationship of father and mother but also the other important relationships with which we are surronded by

and if u still don't appreciate it, then why you having a gotra like chahal after your name?????

aur ladka-ladki sirf apni intercaste shaadi karwane ke chakkar mein kitab ki knowledge adaate hain....i don't understand why don't they learn to develop their own insight and philosophy....books are just the way to teach you to develop such qualities through knowledge, its not to make you stick with every word like science principles or laws

neelam
why r u trying to mix "varn vyavastha" with cousin marriage? varn vyavastha kab ye kehti hai ki cousins ki marriage allowed hai? aur varna system ka paalan karne se cousin marriage kaise shuru ho jaayegi?....how?...

aur mating vaali baat...which u wrote to shweta...
Quote; [dear, i didn't mentioned the 'caste' word there....u can have a look again....all i taken as per the varna system and mating (about which Arvind had said a lot)....i wrote all that just to make clear what is the importance of caste....without knowing this caste there are chances that a person might not understand the extended relationship circle and can marry a cousin.....so i just commented on the thought of Arvind ]
aap varn system aur "jaati" ka aapas main gol mal kyun kar rahi hai. jaati ek biological concept hai. please usko varn system main mat mix kijiye. varna system ka ye matlab nahi hai ki cousins bhi aapas main mating kar sakte hai agar unka gun aur swabhav mil jaaye. yaar ye to common sense ki baat hai ki aisa nahi ho sakta. ab kya har bat likhni paregi yahan? aur shayad aap "caste" aur "jaati" ko ek samajh rahi hai. caste is from portoguese word "casta". meaning community. aur jaati ka matlab main likh chuka hun. they r not synomonous.

caste system is desh main shankaryacharya ke time 700 AD ke aas paas shuru hui hai. dhoort brahmanon ne apne swarth ke liye shuru ki thi, taaki unki dharam ki dukaan be rok tok chalti rahe. ye koi kisi ke bhale ke liye shuru nahi hui.

aap bina vajah ek simple si philosophy ko complex kar rahi hai. ek independent mind se sochiye. ek pal ke liye parents ke banaye hue daayre se bahar niklo...parents ki izzat karni chahiye, old age main unki sewa karni chahiye, par ankhen meech kar unki har baat ko absolute truth manna bhi theek nahi. sirf bachhe paida kar lene se aur age main bade hone se koi wise nahi ho jaata.
aur agar hamare pichle 1500 saal ke poorvaz itne hi samajhdaar hote to hamara desh 1000 saal gulaam na rehta. jab tak vedic system chalti tha tab tak aryaon ka chakravarti raaj tha, aur jab se caste ka roohrivaad shuru hua tab se hindustaan thokrein kha raha hai...history to dekhiye pichle 1500 saalon ki. dont overindulge in this syrupy love of parents. "roohrivaad" aur "culture " ko samaan mat samajhiye. kuch roohrivaadi log culture ki badi duhai dete hai. jabki dono bahot hi alag alag baatein hai.


aur main kya likhun?...aapke jawaab main jo shweta aur amit ne likha hai vo kaafi hai...

bura na maaniyega agar kuch galat likha gaya ho jisne aapki feelings ko hurt kiya ho.