^^ JATland community mail box ^^

sunillathwal · Jul 5, 2010

Laloooo Prasad in Microsoft:

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference: "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued.. "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- प्यारे लालू प्रसाद भैय्या
You do not meet ----- आप तो मिलते ही नहीं हो
our requirement ----- हमको तो जरुरत है
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- अब लैटर-वेटर भेजने का कौनो ज़रुरत नाही है
No phone call ----- फोनवा का भी ज़रुरत नाही है
shall be entertained ----- बहुत खातिर की जाएगी
Thanks ----- आपका बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद
Bill Gates. ---- तोहार बिलवा

pawanchaudhary · Jul 5, 2010

good translation

nkumars83 · Jul 10, 2010

How to ASK A Question?????

Jack and Max are walking to a religious service. Jack wonders whether it
would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"

But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to
our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I
smoke?"

To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

saluram · Jul 22, 2010

sunillathwal said:
Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference: "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued.. "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- प्यारे लालू प्रसाद भैय्या
You do not meet ----- आप तो मिलते ही नहीं हो
our requirement ----- हमको तो जरुरत है
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- अब लैटर-वेटर भेजने का कौनो ज़रुरत नाही है
No phone call ----- फोनवा का भी ज़रुरत नाही है
shall be entertained ----- बहुत खातिर की जाएगी
Thanks ----- आपका बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद
Bill Gates. ---- तोहार बिलवा

very good translation bhai ji sunil lathwalji

saluram · Jul 22, 2010

upendersingh said:
कूड़ा बीनने वालों को क्या ए.टी.एम. का इस्तेमाल करने का हक़ नहीं???

है...

hahahhahahhahahhahahhah wah wah upendersingh ji aap to kamaal kar rahe ho

sanjaymalik · Jul 26, 2010

NEVER GO TO HR

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realised that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it.

So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.

The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equa! ls to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many
days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove
that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager

o you come to work on the (National holiday )?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I! was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral

NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!!

ravinderjeet · Jul 26, 2010

badhiyaa s bhai sanjya issey-2 HR company ney band karwaa diyaa karein.

vicky84 · Aug 28, 2010

Laloo Prasad Yadav trying to translate his poem in ENGLISH. Hilarious !!

vicky84 · Sep 4, 2010

Warning: The video contains violence and is recommended for mature audiences.

hemanthooda · Sep 4, 2010

Navjot Singh Sidhu speaking in parliament for heritage status of Amritsar!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkU7GUVGGMQ

Very good speech!!!

jitendershooda · Oct 7, 2010

http://www.survivalinternational.org/films/mine

This may lead to disasters as below:
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/10/a_flood_of_toxic_sludge.html

Do we have any role to play in this. Yes, offcourse. Think before buying a Tin (aluminium) Can of Cold Drink/Beer next time. Its all demand and supply.

"Remember the next time to buy a drink in a can.......the process of making aluminium from bauxite is one of worst uses we have put natural resources to.....for each ton of bauxite you get about 10% back in aluminium....awful stuff"

vicky84 · Oct 17, 2010

I could not stop my laugh for a sec while watching these videos...LMFAO...Hamish and Andy...

"Learn India with Hamish & Andy"

vicky84 · Nov 25, 2010

Found it funny

View attachment 11092

sunillathwal · Feb 6, 2011

गब्बर सिंह' का चरित्र चित्रण

1. सादा जीवन, उच्च विचार: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले
कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश
जीवन. जैसे मध्यकालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना
समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और
विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे
संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षणभंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.

२. दयालु प्रवृत्ति: ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने
ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था.
पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.

3. नृत्य-संगीत का शौकीन: 'महबूबा ओये महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार
ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था.
वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवंकला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को
पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्यप्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के
अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के
प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.

4. अनुशासनप्रिय नायक: जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम
होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध
समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.

5. हास्य-रस का प्रेमी: उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और
उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि
वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक युग का 'लाफिंग
बुद्धा' था.

6. नारी के प्रति सम्मान: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद
उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और
करता.

7. भिक्षुक जीवन: उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए
भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो
भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना,
चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.

8. सामाजिक कार्य: डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का
भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह
किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस
युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर
बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.

9. महानायकों का निर्माता: अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और वीरू जैसे
लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर
के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता

ravinderpannu · Feb 21, 2011

[FONT=&quot]
The world's biggest family: The man with 39 wives, 94 children and 33 grandchildren

Ziona Chana lives with all of them in a 100-room mansion. His wives take it in turns to share his bedsit takes 30 whole chickens just to make dinner. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]He is head of the world's biggest family - and says he is 'blessed' to have his 39 wives. Ziona Chana also has 94 children, 14-daughters-in-law and 33 grandchildren. They live in a 100-room, four storey house set amidst the hills of Baktwang village in the Indian state of Mizoram, where the wives sleep in giant communal dormitories.[/FONT]

View attachment 11493

[FONT=&quot]The full monty: The Ziona family in its entirety with all 181 members[/FONT]

View attachment 11494
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]You treat this place like a hotel: With 100 rooms the Ziona mansion is the biggest concrete structure in the hilly village of Baktawng[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mr. Chana told the Sun: 'Today I feel like God's special child. He's given me so many people to look after. 'I consider myself a lucky man to be the husband of 39 women and head of the world's largest family.' The family is organized with almost military discipline, with the oldest wife Zathiangi organizing her fellow partners to perform household chores such as cleaning, washing and preparing meals. One evening meal can see them pluck 30 chickens, peel 132lb of potatoes and boil up to 220lb of rice. Coincidentally, Mr. Chana is also head of a sect that allows members to take as many wives as he wants. [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

View attachment 11495
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Feeling peckish? The senior ladies of the Chana family show what it takes just to make a meal [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

View attachment 11496
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The wives and I: Mr. Ziona Chana poses with his 39 wives at their home in Baktawang, Mizoram, India
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]He even married ten women in one year, when he was at his most prolific, and enjoys his own double bed while his wives have to make do with communal dormitories. He keeps the youngest women near to his bedroom with the older members of the family sleeping further away - and there is a rotation system for who visits Mr. Chana's bedroom. Rinkmini, one of Mr. Chana's wives who is 35 years old, said: 'We stay around him as he is the most important person in the house. He is the most handsome person in the village. She says Mr. Chana noticed her on a morning walk in the village 18 years ago and wrote her a letter asking for her hand in marriage. [/FONT]

View attachment 11497
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Shared bedroom: A look inside the four-storey mansion, Chhuanthar Run - The House of the New Generation[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Another of his wives, Huntharnghanki, said the entire family gets along well. The family system is reportedly based on 'mutual love and respect' and Mr. Chana, whose religious sect has 4,00 members, says he has not stopped looking for new wives. 'To expand my sect, I am willing to go even to the U.S. to marry,' he said. One of his sons insisted that Mr. Chana, whose grandfather also had many wives, marries the poor women from the village so he can look after them. [/FONT]

ravinderpannu · Feb 21, 2011

[FONT=&quot]This theory may win the Physics Nobel Prize,,,,,!!! LOL

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Equation 1
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Equation 2
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Equation 3[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]To Conclude:
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]From Equation 2 and Equation 3
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together![/FONT]

ravinderpannu · Feb 21, 2011

different systems

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

LEBANON SYSTEM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the
government.

EGYPT SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak.

DUBAI SYSTEM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a ' Cow City ' or ' Milk Village ' for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to re -sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media attention.

SHARJAH SYSTEM: You have two cows. You sell them to an investor in Dubai . The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah to Dubai and die. You have zero cows now.

ABU DHABI SYSTEM: You have two cows. So what? We have Oil..!!:rock

ravinderpannu · Mar 1, 2011

mallu jokes..!!!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income
called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?

He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in
Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire?

He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and
Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?

He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?

A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is
industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?

He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea
shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of
kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of
Benana
Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN
bones....

ravinderpannu · Mar 1, 2011

paisa kamao...!!!! what a non-sense..!!!!!

.hmmessage p { margin: 0px; padding: 0px; }body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family: Tahoma; } http://www.paisalive.com/register.asp?2166710-6058377

just click the link fellow the instructions.

ravinderpannu · Mar 2, 2011

Abcd

[FONT=&quot]a[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]For[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]b[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Bada Apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]c[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Chota apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]d[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Do apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]e[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Energetic apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]f[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Faltu apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]g[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Ganda apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]h[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Hara apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]i[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Indian apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]j[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Jhakaas apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]k[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Khatta apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]l[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Lamba apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]m[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Meetha apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]n[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]No.1 apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]o[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Omani apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]p[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Peela apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]q[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Qatar's apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]r[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Raseela apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]s[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sweet apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]t[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Tight apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]u[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Umda apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]v[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Very good apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]w[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Waste apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]x[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Bimar Apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]y[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Yummy apple[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]z[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]for[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Zapak apple[/FONT]

^^ JATland community mail box ^^

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Active member

Active member

Active member

Active member

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