Joke of the day

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for four days.
Lady calls again.
Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one
Comes out:tongue:
 
A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati... .
Amitabh : In which state the river Kaveri flows?
Sardar : Liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..:applause:
 
Sardar 1: Do u know how 2 swim?
Sardar 2: No.
Sardar 1: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Sardar 2: So do u know how 2 swim?
Sardar 1: For sure!
Sardar 2: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?
 
Sardar called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls rd,kannur.
Radio jocky : How honest.so you want to return his purse?
Sardar : no, i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him.;););)
 
Father and Son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and son was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," son said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly
"What bus should I take home?" Son finished......:stupid:
 
Santa aur Banta ek car-me bomb laga rahe the!
Santa: Yar zara soch,agar ye bomb lagata me hi fatt gaya?
Banta:Oye,fikar mat kar mere pass dusra bhi hey...:livid:
 
Thappad marne se naraz patni-se pati-ne kaha:Adami use hi thappad marta hey jise woh pyar karta hey!
Patni-ne pati-ko do thappad maren aur boli:Aap kya samzate hey main aap-se pyar nahin karti...!:sentimental::sentimental:
 
Do sage bhai ek hi school aur ek hi kaxa-me padhte the unke moukhik imtehan ho rahe the. Jab dono sham ko ghar aaye to maa ne puchha: Raju,aaj tumse mastarji ne kya puchha?
Raju:Unhon- ne pita ka naam puchha,maine bataya Shyamlal.
Maa ne Sanju se puchha:Aur tuzse kya puchha?
Sanju:Muzse bhi pita ka naam puchha,maine bataya Ramlal.
Maa:Par tune apne chacha ka naam kyo bataya,pita ka kyo nahin?
Sanju:Raju ne kaha tha ke tun koi dusra naam batana taki mastarji ye na samze ki tune meri nakal ki hey..:semi-twins:
 
Quote of the day---Apni umr ko aadha karke batana, apne kapadon ki kimat ko doguna karke batana aur saheli ki umr men 5 saal jodke batana,duniya ki anpadh se anpadh mahila bhi itana ganit to janti hi hey!
 
On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the

Company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such

A personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"


Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed

$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here

I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.


Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,

"And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"
 
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea-captain.


'What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?'


'Throw out an anchor, sir.'


'What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?'



'Throw out another anchor, sir.'


'And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do?'


'Throw out another anchor.'


'Hold on,' said the Captain, 'where are you getting all your anchors from?'


'From the same place you're getting your storms, sir.'
 
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED



Old aunts used to come up to a man at weddings, poking him in the ribs and cackling, telling him, "You're next."

They stopped after he started doing the same thing to them at funerals
 
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of business school, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of Rs.9250000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks' vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50 percent of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
:tongue:
 
HUSBAND: ye kaisa khana banaya hai

ekdum gobbar jaisa hai

wife : HEY BHAGWAN

ISS AADMI NE TO SAB KUCH CHAKH RAKHA HAI
:applause: :applause: :applause:
 
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!
 
farmaaish

ek aadmi apbi biwi se

: main teri roj roj ki farmaisho se bahut tang aa gya hu

main khudkhushi karne jaa raha hu

biwi : arrey jaate jaate ek white suit to dilate jao

main 13vi pe kya pahnugi
:applause: ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top