Letter of Reflection!

[poonam]

Dear Friends,

Its none of my goddamn business to tell someone what to do but you know sometimes that ‘good’ part somewhere deep within overpowers you. So he wants me to write what I’m thinking. It might end up being a wrong decision …..coz it depends a lot on how you guys there are gonna take it…(well, I might be inviting troubles …who knows ). So here I go….

Generally I do not find time to surf/post on the site (…what the heck…...is she some big shot or something….No I’m not yet..). I’m in the prime phase of my career and usually I’m engrossed in the work most of the time. Unwillingly I got few days of leisure (won’t disclose the reason here…..don’t want any sympathies… ) and I spent sometime on this site. Don’t worry I’m gonna disappear again in a couple of days.

According to me some of us are real gems here…..some of us are real good brains…(oozing grey matter….i must say….i’m not gonna name those.. ). So I think we can learn a lot from them. Now since everything has a utility, a purpose …I believe it can be useful spending time here (now you are the best judge about the quantity and quality of your time you wanna spend here). For me its all about knowing more people from our own very community ….(I never had that chance to interact with so many jats ever before)…and helping if u can in your own small way (the efforts of Arya uncle and Birbal uncle are indeed commendable).

I guess its a good platform for the younger ones to develop confidence in terms of writing/discussions/debates (again a word of caution: its your personal choice how much time you wanna spend) since you get feedback from diverse view points. Make the best use of this opportunity to interact with people from different background.

Having said that I wish to bring a critical issue in picture here. I’m sorry to say that I’ve seen people getting carried away. My opinion is …we shouldn’t take it seriously (its gonna get buried in the archives eventually) but at the same time refrain from hurting anyone. I’m sure you all are aware how to convey the message graciously without thumping directly (I know some of you who do this and I’m impressed the way they tackle the situation no matter what the other side says….. they do not start howling).

I read somewhere in a book …oh no actually it’s the title of the book which I’m gonna quote here:

“Don’t sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff”

Isn’t it so true.

The bottom line is we should respect each other.

Lets continue to seek new knowledge and outlets for expression.

As before, none of my goddamn business to preach what one should do (per kya kare control he nahi hota…democracy hai bhai…..freedom of expression)

Ram Ram to all!

 

[rkumar]

I guess its a good platform for the younger ones to develop confidence in terms of writing/discussions/debates (again a word of caution: its your personal choice how much time you wanna spend) since you get feedback from diverse view points. Make the best use of this opportunity to interact with people from different background.

........

....and its a good platform for the oldies also to develop an interface with the younger lot and to look at the world through their eyes.. Trust me, it helps a lot to test our surviving skills in this tough competitive world.

RK^2

 

[prachi]

True,
why not discuss things as for the sake of discussion and not take things personally. I have seen a few posts where people engage in a sort of personal assaults on each other. It definately is ridiculous. Hav'nt people heard that the jats are the once who are mostly against the jats and trying to pull them down.
Why make fools of ourself?
Hope i have not personally hurt anyone by saying so.
prachi

 

[spdeshwal]

Thank you Dr Poonamji for bringing this issue! At least you have shaken my consceince.

I personaly feel sorry for hurting the feelings of this gentleman Dhiren Phogat in my reply to one of his posts! Having a difference of opinion is one thing and do the leg pulling knowingly and try to stess hard to prove the fellow debator wrong is another thing. You have rightly said and we do get carried away and hurt the feelings of a fellow brother or sister, that too just to prove ourselves right.

Probably, I knew about this weekness in me, may be sub-consciously and at times argue my point so jealously without even realising the impact of my silly comments on someone's mind and heart.That is why inspite of my visiting this site for more than two years now after Sh Ishwar lamba itroduced to me through a friend Dr Suresh Khatkar, I have never replied or initiated a post except in recent weeks.

I aslo know that reply like that change the direction of a good discussion and force members, specially the elders to restrain from participating.

sincerely

 

[anujkumar]

....and its a good platform for the oldies also to develop an interface with the younger lot and to look at the world through their eyes.. Trust me, it helps a lot to test our surviving skills in this tough competitive world.

RK^2

Rajendra Jee.. good way to look at it, We have seen many people giving up and using the last resort and declaring themselves dead on Jatland (website)

You are a survivor!

 

[rkumar]

Rajendra Jee.. good way to look at it, We have seen many people giving up and using the last resort and declaring themselves dead on Jatland (website)

You are a survivor!

Anuj,

Human brain is a very interesting organ. It can find out self convincing solutions to suit any condition. One should be extremely careful. I call brain as "Chamcha" organ. When going gets tough, brain comes out with a solution to convice us that its no use being at that place.. One should always watch this feedback mechanism very carefully. If dictated, brain can come out with forceful alternatives as well.

RK^2

 

[poonam]

....and its a good platform for the oldies also to develop an interface with the younger lot and to look at the world through their eyes.. Trust me, it helps a lot to test our surviving skills in this tough competitive world.

RK^2

Appreciate your perseverance.

When you talk of survival…..reminded me of a quotable quotation:

The one who endures to the end, he will be saved

 

[poonam]

Thank you Dr Poonamji for bringing this issue! At least you have shaken my consceince..
/QUOTE]

 

[vickypanwar]

Thank you Dr Poonamji for bringing this issue! At least you have shaken my consceince.

I personaly feel sorry for hurting the feelings of this gentleman Dhiren Phogat in my reply to one of his posts! Having a difference of opinion is one thing and do the leg pulling knowingly and try to stess hard to prove the fellow debator wrong is another thing. You have rightly said and we do get carried away and hurt the feelings of a fellow brother or sister, that too just to prove ourselves right.
sincerely

Only a Jat can write such stuff ...
You got carried away once again dude - this time into guilt conscience.
Jats are soft people - "bhole bhale" hote hain.

Please don't take my words too seriously. This was my reflexive response to your post.

Cheers!
-Vikas

 

[shailendra]

…and I spent sometime on this site. Don’t worry I’m gonna disappear again in a couple of days.

According to me some of us are real gems here…..some of us are real good brains…(oozing grey matter….i must say….i’m not gonna name those.. ). So I think we can learn a lot from them. Now since everything has a utility, a purpose …I believe it can be useful spending time here (now you are the best judge about the quantity and quality of your time you wanna spend here). For me its all about knowing more people from our own very community ….(I never had that chance to interact with so many jats ever before)…and helping if u can in your own small way (the efforts of Arya uncle and Birbal uncle are indeed commendable).


Having said that I wish to bring a critical issue in picture here. I’m sorry to say that I’ve seen people getting carried away. My opinion is …we shouldn’t take it seriously (its gonna get buried in the archives eventually) but at the same time refrain from hurting anyone. I’m sure you all are aware how to convey the message graciously without thumping directly (I know some of you who do this and I’m impressed the way they tackle the situation no matter what the other side says….. they do not start howling).

Lets continue to seek new knowledge and outlets for expression.

Good post Poonam, I think there is something else that you also pointed here and kinda got lost somewhere in the following posts after (those guilty people! LOL, just kidding guys!) but is still worth discussing about I think, is: what at the end of the day does one get out of posting here???

Does one always feel that it is a timepass, networking site only...does one feel guilty of spending too much time here? Does the time spent here feel like a lot of wasted hours really??? Is this just one other surfing site???

Agreed it is a great place to interact with the other fellow Jats, but surely there is more to this site than just that... and even though I must confess so myself that at times one stops after feeling a little bit guilty (yeah, me too) about maybe spending too much time here....but frankly isn't it the truth that one can do a lot of things here; banter lightly, post intelligently and argue, discuss on current and important issues etc etc.???

The answer as you all know is yes, it is! (at least I feel so...what do you think?) One can contribute a lot even if it simply by answering someone's query about a job, guidance or online help. That's why I think we all are gems here, bar none...all of us have something valuable to share and add to the knowledge of the person(s) we are interacting with. That's why sometimes it is important to not just stop at reading a random post but then going ahead and even submitting your two cents worth to the discussion (don't simply smile that knowing smirk about,"huh, I myself really think that..., but anyways! Who cares really...it's a free for all out there!" but go ahead and share it with the others...you will be surprised as to how valuable the thought could be!)

Anyways, before I keep repeating myself, I shall end my post on this one here and wish everyone with more empowerment!!!...

ps. and hope we keep seeing more of you here anyways Poonam, even with your back-to-the-full-load-of-work schedule notwithstanding....

 

[raj2rif]

Dear Friends,



Having said that I wish to bring a critical issue in picture here. I’m sorry to say that I’ve seen people getting carried away. My opinion is …we shouldn’t take it seriously (its gonna get buried in the archives eventually) but at the same time refrain from hurting anyone. I’m sure you all are aware how to convey the message graciously without thumping directly (I know some of you who do this and I’m impressed the way they tackle the situation no matter what the other side says….. they do not start howling).

Dear Poonam Ji,

A very good point. But just on the lighter side if one does not thump directly he may be lacking in the most critical quality for qualifying to be called a true JAT as some of our members think.

Thanks a lot for bringing out this point. I am sure all members would realize while participating in the discussion that it is the subject matter that needs to be discussed and not the people who are participating. We attack people when we run out of ideas and convincing discussion points.

 

[raj_rathee]

A very good point. But just on the lighter side if one does not thump directly he may be lacking in the most critical quality for qualifying to be called a true JAT as some of our members think.

Good point chacha...and infact very valid too. No one wants to be seen as a
pushover. But we all forget that couple of days down the road, it all gets lost in
cyber oblivion...and those who were not party to the exchange never cared
in the first place. But humans have this exaggerated sense of self importance...that
everyone is watching them...and that they need to stand their ground.

I think the bottom line is to have a thick skin and leave ones ego at the door.
We can't control others so best thing is to keep ourselves in control...or rather
make ourselves as immune as possible to others. The key is to have an objective
and not be diverted. If objective is to mock someone and slap them around
(and of course we never do that on Jatland
) then it should be done with full abandon. It is the other partys responsibility
to know how to best deal with it.

If the objective, on the other hand, is to get across one's well reasoned
opinions, then no matter what someone else comes up with sticking to ones
rational argument and civil approach is the way to go.

It all depends on the objective, and the fact that each of us have control on
ourselves and not on others. If others are smart enough they'll do what's best
for them and achieve their objective.

I find this approach remarkably useful in my professional life. In a team
environment we have to work with all sorts of people, and some are VERY
difficult to work with. But there is no running away. We can't wish anyone away.
So what I find works best is to develop a very thick skin, know what I want
to achieve and just keep trying to make it happen...regardless of the
lack of co-operation, resistence, eccentricities etc of others that I depend on.
Success can only be achieved that way. Throwing one's hands up in the
air never is an option in real life. Internal strength, external civility, strength
of one's argument, readiness to accept criticism and be corrected, a sense
of self deprecating humor etc. can all add up to one tough, resilient yet
very successful professional Jat.

And I think the same approach can be taken in non-professional environments.

Deal with the issue at hand (don't let the personalities divert one's attention),
and never bear grudges....

And since others are sharing their guilt (he he he he)...even our Sher Hooda sahib,
let me also add that I personally am guilty of enjoying and indulging in
some subtle and not so subtle provocation at times....though hopefully
always in a tasteful and humorous manner....It does spice up some
discussions...and, frankly, I don't think I can last here without them....varna
boriat se marr jaaonga.....

 

[poonam]

yo ke hogya

eeb saare 'confess' karan laag gae.. LOL..kidding guys .

...but nice to see more people expressing their views here.

 

[raj_rathee]

Rajendra Jee.. good way to look at it, We have seen many people giving up and using the last resort and declaring themselves dead on Jatland (website)

You are a survivor!

I think Chacha Rajendra deserves some sort of medal. He's been abused, accused,
seduced, reduced and god knows what other "ed"s, and hes as strong as ever
while others have been designing, resigning, feigning and God knows what other
"ing"s.

He is a living breathing Jatland example of "Jo yahan raha woh hi
Sikander". The guy is a Russian Doll....keeps bouncing back !!!

 

[raj_rathee]

yo ke hogya

eeb saare 'confess' karan laag gae.. LOL..kidding guys .

...but nice to see more people expressing their views here.

He he he......lekin mera confession oosa confession na tha.....
Mein tae shyana likda.....baat bhi kahe di...err guilty bhi konya.....

 

[raj_rathee]

Thank you Dr Poonamji for bringing this issue! At least you have shaken my consceince.

I personaly feel sorry for hurting the feelings of this gentleman Dhiren Phogat in my reply to one of his posts! Having a difference of opinion is one thing and do the leg pulling knowingly and try to stess hard to prove the fellow debator wrong is another thing. You have rightly said and we do get carried away and hurt the feelings of a fellow brother or sister, that too just to prove ourselves right.

Probably, I knew about this weekness in me, may be sub-consciously and at times argue my point so jealously without even realising the impact of my silly comments on someone's mind and heart.

Kyun re Deswal, itna senti kyun ho gaya bhai ?
Poonam aali baat hum kehante tae mahara sar phod denta...he he he
Koi baat na yoh tae nueh chaalta raha karae...

Vaise ek baat hai. Kahavat hai ki parivar mein ek beti zaroor
honi chahheye, na tae saare chorre molurd ho jaan sae. Having a girl
in the family balances out the psychological environment.

Mere ko lagta hai Jatland par bhi yeh hi haal hai. Jab lidikyaan active hoti
hain toh baaki molurd bhai log bhi thore sharam si kar ke balance men
rehte haen....

Lekin raasa ye hai ki jo bhi chorree active hoti hai woh thore
din baad yeh kahe kar ki "mein toh thode din taahin aaye thi...eeb jaan
sun...ghanee busy sun..." chaalti banae saen.

 

[mukeshkumar007]

Poonam aali baat hum kehante tae mahara sar phod denta...he he he


Vaise ek baat hai. Kahavat hai ki parivar mein ek beti zaroor
honi chahheye, na tae saare chorre molurd ho jaan sae. Having a girl
in the family balances out the psychological environment.

Mere ko lagta hai Jatland par bhi yeh hi haal hai. Jab lidikyaan active hoti
hain toh baaki molurd bhai log bhi thore sharam si kar ke balance men
rehte haen....

Lekin raasa ye hai ki jo bhi chorree active hoti hai woh thore
din baad yeh kahe kar ki "mein toh thode din taahin aaye thi...eeb jaan
sun...ghanee busy sun..." chaalti banae saen.

ha ha ha

 

[gaganjat]

Poonam , I left reading the letter half way (mere aanso tapa-tap padan lagge ) and I am sure you were weeping while writing this 'letter of reflection'

It has prickled my conscience. Now I feel like confessing for:
Reducing India's population by 4 {(In brakets like you explain) they were not Jats so I am less guilty}

Dear Friends,

Its none of my goddamn business to tell someone what to do but you know sometimes that ‘good’ part somewhere deep within overpowers you. So he wants me to write what I’m thinking. It might end up being a wrong decision …..coz it depends a lot on how you guys there are gonna take it…(well, I might be inviting troubles …who knows ). So here I go….

Generally I do not find time to surf/post on the site (…what the heck…...is she some big shot or something….No I’m not yet..). I’m in the prime phase of my career and usually I’m engrossed in the work most of the time. Unwillingly I got few days of leisure (won’t disclose the reason here…..don’t want any sympathies… ) and I spent sometime on this site. Don’t worry I’m gonna disappear again in a couple of days.

According to me some of us are real gems here…..some of us are real good brains…(oozing grey matter….i must say….i’m not gonna name those.. ). So I think we can learn a lot from them. Now since everything has a utility, a purpose …I believe it can be useful spending time here (now you are the best judge about the quantity and quality of your time you wanna spend here). For me its all about knowing more people from our own very community ….(I never had that chance to interact with so many jats ever before)…and helping if u can in your own small way (the efforts of Arya uncle and Birbal uncle are indeed commendable).

I guess its a good platform for the younger ones to develop confidence in terms of writing/discussions/debates (again a word of caution: its your personal choice how much time you wanna spend) since you get feedback from diverse view points. Make the best use of this opportunity to interact with people from different background.

Having said that I wish to bring a critical issue in picture here. I’m sorry to say that I’ve seen people getting carried away. My opinion is …we shouldn’t take it seriously (its gonna get buried in the archives eventually) but at the same time refrain from hurting anyone. I’m sure you all are aware how to convey the message graciously without thumping directly (I know some of you who do this and I’m impressed the way they tackle the situation no matter what the other side says….. they do not start howling).

I read somewhere in a book …oh no actually it’s the title of the book which I’m gonna quote here:

“Don’t sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff”

Isn’t it so true.

The bottom line is we should respect each other.

Lets continue to seek new knowledge and outlets for expression.

As before, none of my goddamn business to preach what one should do (per kya kare control he nahi hota…democracy hai bhai…..freedom of expression)

Ram Ram to all!

 

[rkumar]

I think Chacha Rajendra deserves some sort of medal. He's been abused, accused,
seduced, reduced and god knows what other "ed"s, and hes as strong as ever
while others have been designing, resigning, feigning and God knows what other
"ing"s.

He is a living breathing Jatland example of "Jo yahan raha woh hi
Sikander". The guy is a Russian Doll....keeps bouncing back !!!

hahahhaa....Mugambo Khush huaa..bhateeje .....LOL... Russian doll ka sun kar to hum ek dam mantra mugdh ho gaye.... kash ki aise hote...arrey bhai ub to doll nahi balki dolla ho gaye hain... kuch bhi ho Jatland ke bina khana hazm nahi hota...it has become part of life..

RK^2

 

[gaganjat]

Tere ishq ki diwangi sar pe chad-chad ke bole.........

Kaka teri phabrate daru kunsi hai? Teretahi botal laoonga.