Live in relationships ..?

[upendersingh]

Jib isi isi khabar dekhni ho

या तो किसी सिरफिरे जाट कै फंसगी अर इसका किस्सा जगजाहिर हो गया...ना तै जितनी भी ये घणी हाई-फाई सी बणे हैं, इन सबका इसा ही किस्सा पावैगा.... इंडिया नै तै गंदगी का ढेर बतावै सै इसी-इसी...टैटू बणवा राख्या था कमर के नीचै...आज के अखबार में लिख राख्या सै दर्जनों यार पाळ राखे थे...ले धार...
पिछले 4-5 साल तै माहौल और ज्यादा बिगड़ गया भाई...घणा भुंडा टैम आ गया...

 

[ravinderjeet]

या तो किसी सिरफिरे जाट कै फंसगी अर इसका किस्सा जगजाहिर हो गया...ना तै जितनी भी ये घणी हाई-फाई सी बणे हैं, इन सबका इसा ही किस्सा पावैगा.... इंडिया नै तै गंदगी का ढेर बतावै सै इसी-इसी...टैटू बणवा राख्या था कमर के नीचै...आज के अखबार में लिख राख्या सै दर्जनों यार पाळ राखे थे...ले धार...
पिछले 4-5 साल तै माहौल और ज्यादा बिगड़ गया भाई...घणा भुंडा टैम आ गया...

इस्सी इस्सियाँ का तो चले जाणा -ए बढ़िया स | ना और जट्टां का नाम खराब करदी | उनके घरक्याँ नु तो और भी राहत मिलगी होगी | पंडा छुट ग्या |

 

[saharan1628]

जट्टां का नाम खराब करदी

whatever the discussion is going on,let it go that way...but why the string is being pulled on the girl only..Wasn't the guy also involved in the live-in relationship??
If the Live-in relationship is to be condemned then both the parties should face the bashing
And that's the only thing i like about that show Roadies..they vote for equality among both sexes and criticize the common stereotypes what woman should and shouldn't do..
* I voted for the third option and hopefully I won't indulge in any Live-in relationship

 

[singhvp]

My question is :

what impact is it going to make on the younger generation,,who are 10-14 years old.

what kind of impact does it have on the thinking of the current generation,,as after being FAN of these kind of shows,,teenagers/adolescents may start thinking about this thing .



If it is ok than to where we are heading...??????[/QUOTE

Live-in relationship is not a healthy relationship. It will, certainly, have a very bad impact not only on the teenagers (10-14 years) but also on adults. It may even badly impact middle-aged people as this new concept would cause a hurt-burn in them. India is not a suitable laboratory for such experiments as yet. However, officially this is no more a crime, I think. But it should be discouraged, socially as it would have serious negative consequences.

 

[upendersingh]

whatever the discussion is going on,let it go that way...but why the string is being pulled on the girl only..Wasn't the guy also involved in the live-in relationship??
If the Live-in relationship is to be condemned then both the parties should face the bashing
And that's the only thing i like about that show Roadies..they vote for equality among both sexes and criticize the common stereotypes what woman should and shouldn't do..
* I voted for the third option and hopefully I won't indulge in any Live-in relationship

Pal, if they (Roadies or whatever) are so just then why don't they make the men get pregnant and then face abortion like situation. If both sexes are equal then why only women have to suffer pregnancy and abortion in illicit relations?
Actually, women have extra responsibility. If men try to seduce them then they should show the right path to the men. The nature has given extra duty to the women of showing right path to the men.

 

[ravinderpannu]

whatever the discussion is going on,let it go that way...but why the string is being pulled on the girl only..Wasn't the guy also involved in the live-in relationship??
If the Live-in relationship is to be condemned then both the parties should face the bashing
And that's the only thing i like about that show Roadies..they vote for equality among both sexes and criticize the common stereotypes what woman should and shouldn't do..
* I voted for the third option and hopefully I won't indulge in any Live-in relationship

Indeed , I agree with Saharan1628...that there should be equality when we talk about the ill's of society...whether a girl or a boy should be given equal treatment..but factual situation is that it is a male dominated society and girls/women are tagged victims..!!!
let's c how long it takes but atleast we can initiate a change from ourselves...!!!

and one more thing ,,,killing is not the solution,..it just causes fear that too temporarily ..!!!

 

[saharan1628]

Pal, if they (Roadies or whatever) are so just then why don't they make the men get pregnant and then face abortion like situation. If both sexes are equal then why only women have to suffer pregnancy and abortion in illicit relations?
Actually, women have extra responsibility. If men try to seduce them then they should show the right path to the men.

I totally agree with your lines that i bold out.
Regarding the lines in the Red:I think that's the problem.The problem of attitude and outlook.It's always the male that indulge in doing crimes like Rape or making a girl pregnant and then ditch her.And many times we end up saying that the female sex needs to be more attentive,more introvert,should not develop "Friendship" with guys...But where's the statement that these kinda guys are disgrace to society and their d**k should be ripped off and blah blah...

If you have watched the movie Laddo..the story in that movie is what I am talking about...Ashutosh Rana in the movie had illicit relationship with Urmi(Character name) and it was she alone that ended up facing trials in front of panchayat and whole of the village...
I am not advocating Live-in relationship here but there are some points on which I do agree with those Roadies guys..

Ram RAM

 

[singhvp]

I totally agree with your lines that i bold out.
Regarding the lines in the Red:I think that's the problem.The problem of attitude and outlook.It's always the male that indulge in doing crimes like Rape or making a girl pregnant and then ditch her.And many times we end up saying that the female sex needs to be more attentive,more introvert,should not develop "Friendship" with guys...But where's the statement that these kinda guys are disgrace to society and their d**k should be ripped off and blah blah...

If you have watched the movie Laddo..the story in that movie is what I am talking about...Ashutosh Rana in the movie had illicit relationship with Urmi(Character name) and it was she alone that ended up facing trials in front of panchayat and whole of the village...
I am not advocating Live-in relationship here but there are some points on which I do agree with those Roadies guys..

Ram RAM

[FONT=&quot]Yogesh is absolutely right. It is a matter of shame that girls have to suffer double whammy in our male-dominated society because of our male chauvinism. For one, they fall easy prey to the deceitful behaviour of ‘wolves in the form of a man’, because nature has made them more gullible and credulous. If something untoward happens, they become more vulnerable to the reprimand from us - the custodians of culture. When it comes to honour killing, only the fairer sex becomes the target. Why to blame girls only, boys are equally guilty in such cases and deserve equal condemnation as they are also supposed to behave responsibly. [/FONT]

 

[riyaa]

Live in relationships ..?

Ram ram to all,

the topic itself seems to be discussed by adults and 'budhijivis',..if it is discussed earlier ,,than may i request to discuss it again under the latest conditions ( i.e. samajic changes).

I was watching a realty tv show and this was the very common question to all contenders. And i found that the anchor/interviewer himself in favour of such relationships.


My question is :

what impact is it going to make on the younger generation,,who are 10-14 years old.

what kind of impact does it have on the thinking of the current generation,,as after being FAN of these kind of shows,,teenagers/adolescents may start thinking about this thing .

If it is ok than to where we are heading...??????​

Live in relationship means no relationship in Future, Living together by making the base "love" is not a done,A girl and boy are attached by 3 factors Mentality (emotions and felling towards each other), Physically and Socially, These three factors are most important, If 1 is missing life Sucks!


Now coming to the children look here what a old actress zeenat amaan said on twitter "It's the responsibility of the parents to control what their children watch. We're forced to do so by default." Zeenat Amaan

And future is unpredictable no one know what is next..

 

[malikpriya]

इस्सी इस्सियाँ का तो चले जाणा -ए बढ़िया स | ना और जट्टां का नाम खराब करदी | उनके घरक्याँ नु तो और भी राहत मिलगी होगी | पंडा छुट ग्या |

uska baap te rotta na thamta media me kah tha meri chori to udna chahtti thi meri chori k pankh kaat diye .............

but kuch jada uncche udan laag ri thi chori !!!!!

 

[ravinderjeet]

uska baap te rotta na thamta media me kah tha meri chori to udna chahtti thi meri chori k pankh kaat diye .............

but kuch jada uncche udan laag ri thi chori !!!!!

घणा उपराँ थूकंनिये के सर पे-ए आ के पड्या करे | भरोसा ना से कदे घरक्याँ का-ए रोग कटवाया होड़ हो

 

[kusumdhochak]

इस्सी इस्सियाँ का तो चले जाणा -ए बढ़िया स | ना और जट्टां का नाम खराब करदी | उनके घरक्याँ नु तो और भी राहत मिलगी होगी | पंडा छुट ग्या |

I am not sure of what you mean by "issi-issi" but if it is only inferred from above post of Upender ji's, then I would say that having '10-12 yaar' (which itself is a hypothesis ) and a 'tattoo' doesn't make her deserve a death sentence...

I don't know what is the general perception here about a live in relationship but from what I understand, in most of these cases people have intentions of getting married and it is a live-in relationship only in the mean time. So the 'social aspect' mentioned by riyaa ji above is not missing completely and is generally on its way..

 

[ravinderjeet]

I am not sure of what you mean by "issi-issi" but if it is only inferred from above post of Upender ji's, then I would say that having '10-12 yaar' (which itself is a hypothesis ) and a 'tattoo' doesn't make her deserve a death sentence...

I don't know what is the general perception here about a live in relationship but from what I understand, in most of these cases people have intentions of getting married and it is a live-in relationship only in the mean time. So the 'social aspect' mentioned by riyaa ji above is not missing completely and is generally on its way..

कुसुम जी , किस्से भी समाज के नियम ,उस समाज की सामाजिक स्थिति ,समय और स्थान के अनुसार बनाए जावें सें | जिन्न में समया अनुसार ,परिवर्तन होयें जावें सें | इब्ब दो साल तें कोए छोरी नए-नए बन्दे बदल के , एर पाछले ७-८ मिन्हा तें घरक्याँ तें नु कह कें अक में सिंगापुर जाऊं सूँ एर हिन्दुस्तान के कई सहराँ में कदे किराए पे मकान ले कें एर कदे होटलां में हाँडन लाग रे थे वे दोनु जाणे , ते इब्ब नु बताओ अक ईह में " सोशल आस्पेक्ट " के रह गा |

 

[kusumdhochak]

The two paragraphs in my above post were in different contexts. The second one was an opinion and nothing to do with this case.
I don't even consider this case to be having any relevance to live in relationships. So the comment about social aspect does not apply to it. It is a random case of crime where a someone kills someone else. It could very well have been a friend killing another after some fight etc. A live in relationship doesn't make you leaving jobs or roaming around the world or changing boyfriends/girlfriends every now and then.

कुसुम जी , किस्से भी समाज के नियम ,उस समाज की सामाजिक स्थिति ,समय और स्थान के अनुसार बनाए जावें सें | जिन्न में समया अनुसार ,परिवर्तन होयें जावें सें | इब्ब दो साल तें कोए छोरी नए-नए बन्दे बदल के , एर पाछले ७-८ मिन्हा तें घरक्याँ तें नु कह कें अक में सिंगापुर जाऊं सूँ एर हिन्दुस्तान के कई सहराँ में कदे किराए पे मकान ले कें एर कदे होटलां में हाँडन लाग रे थे वे दोनु जाणे , ते इब्ब नु बताओ अक ईह में " सोशल आस्पेक्ट " के रह गा |

 

[singhvp]

The two paragraphs in my above post were in different contexts. The second one was an opinion and nothing to do with this case.
I don't even consider this case to be having any relevance to live in relationships. So the comment about social aspect does not apply to it. It is a random case of crime where a someone kills someone else. It could very well have been a friend killing another after some fight etc. A live in relationship doesn't make you leaving jobs or roaming around the world or changing boyfriends/girlfriends every now and then.

Kusum ji is right, it was a random case of crime. Very often we hear the news of murder of legitimate spouses also, in connivance with the paramours. Also, there have been cases where a legitimate husband kills his wife even during honeymoon period. Senior members here may recall the well-known case of Dr. Dahiya 'Londonwale' (now Kharkhodawale) who brutally dismembered the tender body parts of his newly and legally wed london-based wife (from the same community) when they were having honeymoon in Brussels (Belgium). Similarly, there are so many cases of killing of spouse by a spouse, legally married to each other.

Having said that, I would re-iterate that live-in relationship is not a healthy relationship and may lead to so many mental complexities if it doesn't end up in a marriage. Moreover, it is difficult to avoid physical relationship in such kind of arrangements and notionally such couples would be deemed to have been married. Somehow, if the relationship breaks apart after some years of companionship, the future of the girl would certainly be bleak in our society and I do not think she would get the same respectability, love and trust as she would have been able to get otherwise.

 

[rakeshsehrawat]

Wo rishta jisko doosro ke aage batate hue sharam aye ya jisko batane ke liye jhooth bola jaye galat hai.

Ek aurat ka bina shadi kisi mard ke saath rehne se use us admi ki Rakhail(रखैल ) kaha jata tha aajkal Live in relation kehte hain

 

[saharan1628]

Ek aurat ka bina shadi kisi mard ke saath rahne se use us admi ki Rakhail(रखैल ) kaha jata tha aajkal Live in relation kehte hain

Ek mard bina shaadi kisi aurat ke saath rehe to uss mard ko kya kha jaata hai??? Saare uss aurat ko hi culprit kyun maan rahe hain?? wa ke uss chhore ke gelyaan jabardasti reh rhi thi?? dono apni marzi se saath mai the....Ye rakhail word (KEPT) I think Supreme court ne bhi use kiya tha jiske baad saari mahila organizations uske piche padd gaye the and ultimately it had to take back that word

 

[kusumdhochak]

Having said that, I would re-iterate that live-in relationship is not a healthy relationship and may lead to so many mental complexities if it doesn't end up in a marriage. Moreover, it is difficult to avoid physical relationship in such kind of arrangements and notionally such couples would be deemed to have been married. Somehow, if the relationship breaks apart after some years of companionship, the future of the girl would certainly be bleak in our society and I do not think she would get the same respectability, love and trust as she would have been able to get otherwise.

If such a relationship breaks down then in case of next relationship (marriage/live-in/love), things have to be thought of in a different context. For example, both of them can be thought of as having had a 'divorce'.
Also, why should the future be bleaker only for the female and not for the male. They should both be treated similarly if people come to know of such a case.

 

[singhvp]

Also, why should the future be bleaker only for the female and not for the male. They should both be treated similarly if people come to know of such a case.

They should be treated similarly, but it is not happening, unfortunately. It might take a few more decades (in India) for the gender bias to whither away.

 

[rakeshsehrawat]

If such a relationship breaks down then in case of next relationship (marriage/live-in/love), things have to be thought of in a different context. For example, both of them can be thought of as having had a 'divorce'.
Also, why should the future be bleaker only for the female and not for the male. They should both be treated similarly if people come to know of such a case.

This is India and society here is biased and will remain biased atleast for one more generation say 50 years. Anyone male or female comes to know about such relation of his/her partner before mariage will not be ready to accept him/her. Marriage is not like buying car that you go for testdrive. Even we want to buy anything retailer will let us use that for month or year and then tell him that i am not buying it because of this or that fault. You have to pay price for that whether you like it or not. We are living in a society and we have to follow certain set of rules. Anyone is not saying that the men is better if he is in such a relation.
Men is given with a gift by GOD that he can't get pregnant neither got anything to prove his purity.