~~ Lovely lonliness ??

Status
Not open for further replies.
shwetadhaka said:
people of finding pleasure in living alone. Its not that they dont love their parents or family members but still they find themselves more comfortable in living alone.
Click to expand...


True , not to go too far , i take myself as the example and keep on hearing from my parents that i do not sepnd enough time with them :confused: Although i have scrathced my head a lot on this and never found any particular reason for that and then when i do listen this from every parents mouth , i do get a little solace.

I think there are a lot of reasons for sucha behaviour and i do not find any party guilty for sucha thing ( neither the parents , elderly people , nor the younger generation).

Times have changed and parents do not realize that the same child is spending all the time into studies and the pressure of becoming a doctor , engineer ( coaching + tuitions + schools ) takes all the time !
I myself when was in class 11th and 12th used to spend morning 7 to evening 9 out of home ( coahing + school ) and then sleepinf for the rest of time :D
Weekends were slotted for exams :(
At that time no complaints watsoever from parents becuase they are seeing me doing the hard work.

Now at this stage i am quite free ( just the time before joining the job ) and i hear daily complaints , but they do not realize that it has become a habbit for me to sit on computer for hours , earlier it used to be for work mostly but now a days for orkut , jatland , mails and surfing and all.
Its hard to change overnight !!

Another important point is of the family practices , Earlier it was the joint family concept and friends were madde inside the family ( cousins and all ) but now a days friends are plenty and mostly not from the family. So there is a cut on the family time.

As regards the loneliness part , i personally do not believe at all in living alone , friends , family or life partner has to be around me ! :)
even if i am totally down , i need the caress of hers to give me comfort and for sure u need to have someone to celebrate with when you are elated.

But the growing tendency of being lonely is because of the mishaps that have happened earlier , ( Seema ji hinted on it i guess in her first reply only ) !
18 or 19 , we are in college and due to this immense burrst of communications means , things just happen that much faster , Affair , breakups within months and then everything looks butter.
We really dont have the head to think that we ourselves didnt handle the relationship properly.
WE start blaming other person for all this and that mentality sinks in. Everyone else look to us as the culprit and we satisfy ourselves by saying we are happy alone.

I have thought on this subject quite a few number of times and also discussed it with some of my friends ! :) And also most of the age group 26 + say they dont want to get married and just to take a prediction i guess 90 % + of them have had a relationship earlier ! and hence the bitterness and hence the philosophy of getting alone.
 
anilsinghd said:
True , not to go too far , i take myself as the example and keep on hearing from my parents that i do not sepnd enough time with them :confused: Although i have scrathced my head a lot on this and never found any particular reason for that and then when i do listen this from every parents mouth , i do get a little solace.

I think there are a lot of reasons for sucha behaviour and i do not find any party guilty for sucha thing ( neither the parents , elderly people , nor the younger generation).

Ya, thats ok ! No one is guilty as such but have some duty too, to not let this get into the relation in a way that a sad strip of silence enters between the warmth of relations ! One must not be contended by just realising that its true and their is no fault too, rather I guess, we must seriously ponder over the issue & come up with solutions to take out this seriousness out from the relation !

Times have changed and parents do not realize that the same child is spending all the time into studies and the pressure of becoming a doctor , engineer ( coaching + tuitions + schools ) takes all the time !
I myself when was in class 11th and 12th used to spend morning 7 to evening 9 out of home ( coahing + school ) and then sleepinf for the rest of time :D
Weekends were slotted for exams :(
At that time no complaints watsoever from parents becuase they are seeing me doing the hard work.

Now at this stage i am quite free ( just the time before joining the job ) and i hear daily complaints , but they do not realize that it has become a habbit for me to sit on computer for hours , earlier it used to be for work mostly but now a days for orkut , jatland , mails and surfing and all.
Its hard to change overnight !!

But, many overnights have passed Anil & u havent changed I think! Have u ? So, are u changing now or will wait for the day when u get on the other side of this relation & are left realising that parents are really parents & must be loved seriously ! Kaashhh........ tab humne apne parents ko samjh hota ki unki har ichha, har khushi bas humse thi !

Another important point is of the family practices , Earlier it was the joint family concept and friends were madde inside the family ( cousins and all ) but now a days friends are plenty and mostly not from the family. So there is a cut on the family time.

As regards the loneliness part , i personally do not believe at all in living alone , friends , family or life partner has to be around me ! :)
even if i am totally down , i need the caress of hers to give me comfort and for sure u need to have someone to celebrate with when you are elated.

Achaaaaaaaa........ kaun kaun kitni kitni??;)

But the growing tendency of being lonely is because of the mishaps that have happened earlier , ( Seema ji hinted on it i guess in her first reply only ) !
18 or 19 , we are in college and due to this immense burrst of communications means , things just happen that much faster , Affair , breakups within months and then everything looks butter. (BITTER !):o
We really dont have the head to think that we ourselves didnt handle the relationship properly.
WE start blaming other person for all this and that mentality sinks in. Everyone else look to us as the culprit and we satisfy ourselves by saying we are happy alone.

Great ! Good analytical reasoning ! Anything which requires an understanding & patience needs that & there is no short cut which can result into happiness & if we try shortcuts result will be repentence in the "end" - Mostly. Some things dont have shortcuts..........


I have thought on this subject quite a few number of times and also discussed it with some of my friends ( U think !Oh, how thoughtful!) ! :) And also most of the age group 26 + say they dont want to get married and just to take a prediction i guess 90 % + of them have had a relationship earlier ! and hence the bitterness and hence the philosophy of getting alone.
Click to expand...

& this is how the old mistake is repeated again !!! Marriage is nothing if one cant feel its real meaning, for all others it is a new life beginning & starts from feeling & may be even saying that no matter what I was or u were but now we are one & let us start OUR life ........

& they lived happily ever after .......... (exceptions stay away....)
 
Last edited:
anilsinghd said:
True , not to go too far , i take myself as the example and keep on hearing from my parents that i do not sepnd enough time with them :confused: Although i have scrathced my head a lot on this and never found any particular reason for that and then when i do listen this from every parents mouth , i do get a little solace.

I think there are a lot of reasons for sucha behaviour and i do not find any party guilty for sucha thing ( neither the parents , elderly people , nor the younger generation).

Times have changed and parents do not realize that the same child is spending all the time into studies and the pressure of becoming a doctor , engineer ( coaching + tuitions + schools ) takes all the time !
I myself when was in class 11th and 12th used to spend morning 7 to evening 9 out of home ( coahing + school ) and then sleepinf for the rest of time :D
Weekends were slotted for exams :(
At that time no complaints watsoever from parents becuase they are seeing me doing the hard work.

Now at this stage i am quite free ( just the time before joining the job ) and i hear daily complaints , but they do not realize that it has become a habbit for me to sit on computer for hours , earlier it used to be for work mostly but now a days for orkut , jatland , mails and surfing and all.
Its hard to change overnight !!

Another important point is of the family practices , Earlier it was the joint family concept and friends were madde inside the family ( cousins and all ) but now a days friends are plenty and mostly not from the family. So there is a cut on the family time.

As regards the loneliness part , i personally do not believe at all in living alone , friends , family or life partner has to be around me ! :)
even if i am totally down , i need the caress of hers to give me comfort and for sure u need to have someone to celebrate with when you are elated.

But the growing tendency of being lonely is because of the mishaps that have happened earlier , ( Seema ji hinted on it i guess in her first reply only ) !
18 or 19 , we are in college and due to this immense burrst of communications means , things just happen that much faster , Affair , breakups within months and then everything looks butter.
We really dont have the head to think that we ourselves didnt handle the relationship properly.
WE start blaming other person for all this and that mentality sinks in. Everyone else look to us as the culprit and we satisfy ourselves by saying we are happy alone.

I have thought on this subject quite a few number of times and also discussed it with some of my friends ! :) And also most of the age group 26 + say they dont want to get married and just to take a prediction i guess 90 % + of them have had a relationship earlier ! and hence the bitterness and hence the philosophy of getting alone.
Click to expand...


Hmmm... Kaafi gahan adhyan kiya hai Anil... Bahut sahi explanation bhi di hai... Bahut achha... now lets do something impossible coz its a kinda fun... cheers :)
 

as far as I can perceive or I have observed, I think that this relation is typical of its kind & the most close !

True to the core , i do agree with Shweta , this relation and i am talking about marrigae or a companion ( Bf/GF ) is very intimate.

(BF/GF) relation can be intimate & true too, but is still different from this one owing to some but natural inherent issues.

Ur frds, brother, parents, everyone is there & will be there but cant be with u forever & everyday owing to their own inherent issues.

The solace , the peace and the satiation from a husband wife relation is entirely different than other relations :)

Really ? Quite Experienced stuff !:o

Marriage is an institution which gives a common platform to two persons for rest of the life! More so, generally these two ppl are from the same age group, similar background if its an arranged marriage. The intimacy, sacredness, bonding & responsibilty of this relation surpasses all other relations so as to the fact the couple is often looked at by the society even as a single identity, their identity merges..... and a lot more......


Stop defining this pious and potentially divine relation Shweta , it is one to be felt and absorbed ! Words may defy u when talking about its signifance.
:)

Oh u r telling me "Stop it Shweta, I will feel & absorb & then tell u " :D

Felt to thik hai par absorbed............ :o


& abt the responsibility thing, is life all about responsibility? Its about loving someone, teasing someone, being possesive about someone, laughing at absolutely nothing, riding along without knowing where to go, holding hands when everyone else is busy, becoming boss for someone & at times a slave too!, missing someone, eating someone's head and lots more........!



anilsinghd said:
Awwee... beautiful !! :) Absolute gorgeous words ! :)
Click to expand...

Ok !!!!
 
@ Devendra : yup Bro , i try and try to my full potential ! :)

and yeah it is really fun to do the impossible !!! :)

@ shweta : Ohh thanks for your comments :p and yes i am also trying to adapt / change ! I believe in behaviourism , so am learning ! :) And hope to inprove in near future :)
 
lovely lonliness

kisi ko apne se jyada samazdar mil jai to bardast nahin
apne se kam samazdar mil jai to status low hota hai
"thats why"
choop chaap akeley bhete raho

but that's not the way to live. YOU LEARN A LOT FROM THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU
SO PL. BECOME SOCIAL ANIMALS AGAIN
REGARDS
 
There are two kinds of people on this score.One who seek additional responsibility cheerfully and make RESPONSIBLE LIVING their motto of life.Give them any damn responsibility,ask them to meet various kinds of people[nasty,difficult,selfish,nice or self-centered] and take their responsibility...he/she will gladly accept that and wit shear CHARACTER and sacrificing attitude will make them comfortable and surely earn their good will in long run.......SEEKING RESPONSIBILITIES is also an addiction.These kinda people don't judge people but perform their good deeds and forget....AND AS SUCH THEY ARE THE TRUE PEOPLE WITH SUBSTANCE AND GRACE.


Second category of people hate taking or seeking responsibilities.They are generally self-centered and have a piggish approach in life.For them every body other than them is NIKKAMMA and not up to their standard and expectations.One thing is conclusive about such people and that is.......................FARTHER THEY ARE FROM THE CIVILIZATION, better it is for this world.You can never have people near you if you compare,hate,show distrust and live in a false world of egotism.Any one can stay alone...no big deal...but staying together and sharing responsibilities with pride is all together different matter.


A PERSON WITHOUT RESPONSIBLE ATTITUDE IS AS STUPID AS THE WORD STUPID.
 
shwetadhaka said:
Leave me alone !! are areeeeee aap log kaha jaane lage,:confused: are ye to ek dialouge tha bas !

Well, times have changed & so have changed the living standards & various other attributes related to our lives. I would like to discuss about the causes underlying the fast growing tendency amongst the people of finding pleasure in living alone. Its not that they dont love their parents or family members but still they find themselves more comfortable in living alone. Recently, I also came across a newer philosophy in this regards ! A boy was of the opinion that he doesnt wants to get married because he dont wanna share his house with anyone ! Just an example amongst many others, but the point that lies beneath is that why people now take even an elderly advise or a gesture out of love as a hinderance to their identity or for that matter, an interruption in their lives?
Click to expand...


there is absolutely nothing wrong living alone. it has always been up to anyone who wants to live alone can live alone, anyone that wants a family can live with a family. what's the big deal? the boy on the other hand is just acting naive.
 
shwetadhaka said:
Leave me alone !! are areeeeee aap log kaha jaane lage,:confused: are ye to ek dialouge tha bas !

Well, times have changed & so have changed the living standards & various other attributes related to our lives. I would like to discuss about the causes underlying the fast growing tendency amongst the people of finding pleasure in living alone. Its not that they dont love their parents or family members but still they find themselves more comfortable in living alone. Recently, I also came across a newer philosophy in this regards ! A boy was of the opinion that he doesnt wants to get married because he dont wanna share his house with anyone ! Just an example amongst many others, but the point that lies beneath is that why people now take even an elderly advise or a gesture out of love as a hinderance to their identity or for that matter, an interruption in their lives?
Click to expand...
I shall contribute what wise people said about Lonliness and we can judge atleast our own opinion about lovely lonliness if we are thinking constructively or destructively!

Here are the few famous sayings
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]All men's misfortunes spring from their hatred of being alone.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Jean De La BruyFre 1645-1696, French Classical Writer[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Isolation is the sum total of wretchedness to a man.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Thomas Carlyle 1795-1881, Scottish Philosopher, Author[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]A lonely man is a lonesome thing, a stone, a bone, a stick, a receptacle for Gilbey's gin, a stooped figure sitting at the edge of a hotel bed, heaving copious sighs like the autumn wind.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]John Cheever 1912-1982, American Author[/FONT]



[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Who knows what true loneliness is -- not the conventional word, but the naked terror? To the lonely themselves it wears a mask. The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion. Now and then a fatal conjunction of events may lift the veil for an instant. For an instant only. No human being could bear a steady view of moral solitude without going mad.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Joseph Conrad 1857-1924, Polish-born British Novelist[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]The eternal quest of the human being is to shatter his loneliness.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Norman Cousins 1915-1990, American Editor, Humanitarian, Author[/FONT]


[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]There is none more lonely than the man who loves only himself.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Abraham Ibn Esra [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]One aged man -- one man -- can't fill a house.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Robert Frost 1875-1963, American Poet[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Germaine Greer 1939-, Australian Feminist Writer[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]We are never the same with others as when we are alone. We are different, even when we are in the dark with them.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Maurice Maeterlinck 1862-1949, Belgian Author[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]It's a terrible thing to be alone -- yes it is -- it is -- but don't lower your mask until you have another mask prepared beneath --as terrible as you like --but a mask.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Katherine Mansfield 1888-1923, New Zealand-born British Author[/FONT]
And Finally

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]When Christ said: ''I was hungry and you fed me,'' he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept on hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Author:[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]Mother Teresa 1910-1997, Albanian-born Roman Catholic Missionary[/FONT]
 
lomliness

I am single not by choice or design but by divine intervention. Now I have all the space to myself freedom of action or inaction with no one to ask questions. I am alone but not lonely; keep myself busy. For company I have to seek or give a party and for sleep an empty bed by my side every night a reminder of what it meant not to be a single.. BLS
 
lonliness

I am single not by choice or design but by divine intervention. Now I have all the space to myself freedom of action or inaction with no one to ask questions. I am alone but not lonely; keep myself busy. For company I have to seek or give a party and for sleep an empty bed by my side every night a reminder of what it meant not to be a single.. BLS
 
bls31 said:
I am single not by choice or design but by divine intervention. Now I have all the space to myself freedom of action or inaction with no one to ask questions. I am alone but not lonely; keep myself busy. For company I have to seek or give a party and for sleep an empty bed by my side every night a reminder of what it meant not to be a single.. BLS
Click to expand...

I can feel the irony ! Being single not by choice, but by destiny ! Freedom of actions but an everlasting desire to be with someone who can question you ! An empty bed by side, reminding of the lonely soul residing somewhere !
 
shwetadhaka said:
I can feel the irony ! Being single not by choice, but by destiny ! Freedom of actions but an everlasting desire to be with someone who can question you ! An empty bed by side, reminding of the lonely soul residing somewhere !
Click to expand...

Life itself is ironical and paradoxical in its nature because death is sure; so does everything related with it.Being alone and being lonlely are itself in each other if we seek approval of other significant half to validate it.Self-validation is the best virtue yet achievable with sheer will.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top