Worthy members, i am starting this thread to highlight the major reasons which lead to marital disharmony.Many families get ruined because of ongoing rug pulls and worst suferers are the children who face the music. I wish that the members give appropriate inputs in this regard so that many unmarried and recently married people get benefitted from it:
1] What is Marital Disharmony: It is nothing but the state of affairs going haywire between the married couples due to various resons which will find mention subsequently.
2] Reasons:
a. Incompatibility: Incomppatibility can be of physiqe,status,colour,cast,religion,thoughts,vision and also that of performance. The human mind is very complex and when social parameters also dictate a certain acceptable behaviour the INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE is bound to go through tough tests and hence the problems are bound to crop up.Every single marriage has to come under a certain degree of stress, irrespective of precautions.This is basically because of the fact that TWO PEOPLE from different sex,with different background,different state of mind,different characteristic and different temperaments decide to stay together with a promise to keep it intact till they depart from this planet.But this is easier said then done.Teething problems will surface sooner than later and the couples who had prepared themselves for such eventualities fare better in comparision to the couples who take a plunge,assuming that the love/infatuation which lead to their coming together will be good enough an asset to take care of all the ups& downs,which is an ill concieved notion.
Moment the ghost of Love bite disappears,the reality of life starts staring in the faces of married couples and a great vaccum is felt in their lives.Initially they could spare complete leisure for each other but slowly the intensity reduces and this is taken as a sign of LOSS OF INTEREST...and mind you many seeds of disharmony are sown here.Wiser ones gets talking and adjust to the reality but unfortunates ones start finding faults with each other.The situation gets further compounded by the new responsibilities adding up to the house hold by each passing day[so far they were performed by the parents/guardians],making the couple confused and desperate. This phase starts generally after a year of marriage[specially where there is no one to guide/support the couple] and goes on till about three years after marriage. The couples sailing through this phase safely[with little bit of fluff not withstanding] finds themselves on much stronger wickets than those who messed it up during this MOST IMPORTANT PERIOD called GOLDEN MOMENTS. Most of the problems surface at this stage...be it sex related or compatibilty wise. THIS PHASE IS DRIVEN LARGLY BY PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL NEEDS RATHER THAN REALISTIC CONSIDERATIONS.
Then come the little brats...CALLED CHILDREN. It is a big responsibility in itself.Children with them bring the pandora of responsibilities and they take away much of the quality time which was at the disposal of the parents before their arrival. Requirement of funds go up drastically and life looks monotonous.Yes children do bring joy and also a CORD along with them and this cord helps in strengthening the love bond between their Far stretched parents.....so this period is a mixed bag for the couples. During this stage couple need to show maturity,a sense of adjustment and ofcourse have to seek additional responsibilities cheerfully...WITH A BROAD SMILE. This period is called CHURNNING PERIOD.......and most of the couples do make to the next stage......KUchh dukhi ho kar too kuchh hanstte-2............but there are a few who do bucklle under pressure.
Next stage is when children go to school and start sharing thoughts with parents.At this stage things look harmonious but wait this stage is called a STAGE OF BLUNDERS TOO. Maximum cross connections are made during this stage as couples start aging and some of them get desperate for variety out site the sacred married institution and hence the couples have to be more understanding,restrained and more forthcoming for each other to guard against the Dangerous monster lerking in the backyard. If couples can stay loyal to each other at this stage and can lift the additional resonsibilties forced by growing children and their education..then i can vauch that they have MADE IT to the final stage...which is nothing but bliss and a realisation of a JOB WELDONE. Many marriages get rocked at this stage universally.
Final Stage: This is the stage when children are persuing their higher studies and are getting settled down with their carears.At this stage parents get a little financially stretched but fortunately they are much better equipped to handle the expences[thanks to the regular savings] and higher opay packets. At this stage the wife-husband duo appear like BHAI-BEHEN.....as they are made for each other in real sense of things and they understand each other near perfactly. Also they have plenty of time at their disposal[A second honeymoon trip down the lane,i suppose]
Suggestions/solutions/advises: Though there are no tailored suggestion/advises which can be fool proof as Marriages are made in hevens but still a few advises if taken in right earnest can surely be of immense help:
Try find a partener of your stature,Talk things out before marriage,Be prepared to face the ever increasing responsibilities,Remember that THE LIFE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES ALWAYS....some times you have to walk on thorns too, Love each other always,Share each other's burdons and solve them regularly,Give a pat always...for every job weldone,Avoid criticizing your partener in public,Don't take shelter in alcohol or drugs,face the life bravely,Say i love you to each other even if you don't like certain things in each other,Remember that there are no perfact couples....they are only good or bad,give breathing space to each other....couples are indviduals too,Arguments if anty must be settled amicably and without delay as prolonged misunderstanding results in doom,Feel for each other and seek advise& PRAY A LITTLE. All the best.
More inputs after hearing from other member please.
1] What is Marital Disharmony: It is nothing but the state of affairs going haywire between the married couples due to various resons which will find mention subsequently.
2] Reasons:
a. Incompatibility: Incomppatibility can be of physiqe,status,colour,cast,religion,thoughts,vision and also that of performance. The human mind is very complex and when social parameters also dictate a certain acceptable behaviour the INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE is bound to go through tough tests and hence the problems are bound to crop up.Every single marriage has to come under a certain degree of stress, irrespective of precautions.This is basically because of the fact that TWO PEOPLE from different sex,with different background,different state of mind,different characteristic and different temperaments decide to stay together with a promise to keep it intact till they depart from this planet.But this is easier said then done.Teething problems will surface sooner than later and the couples who had prepared themselves for such eventualities fare better in comparision to the couples who take a plunge,assuming that the love/infatuation which lead to their coming together will be good enough an asset to take care of all the ups& downs,which is an ill concieved notion.
Moment the ghost of Love bite disappears,the reality of life starts staring in the faces of married couples and a great vaccum is felt in their lives.Initially they could spare complete leisure for each other but slowly the intensity reduces and this is taken as a sign of LOSS OF INTEREST...and mind you many seeds of disharmony are sown here.Wiser ones gets talking and adjust to the reality but unfortunates ones start finding faults with each other.The situation gets further compounded by the new responsibilities adding up to the house hold by each passing day[so far they were performed by the parents/guardians],making the couple confused and desperate. This phase starts generally after a year of marriage[specially where there is no one to guide/support the couple] and goes on till about three years after marriage. The couples sailing through this phase safely[with little bit of fluff not withstanding] finds themselves on much stronger wickets than those who messed it up during this MOST IMPORTANT PERIOD called GOLDEN MOMENTS. Most of the problems surface at this stage...be it sex related or compatibilty wise. THIS PHASE IS DRIVEN LARGLY BY PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL NEEDS RATHER THAN REALISTIC CONSIDERATIONS.
Then come the little brats...CALLED CHILDREN. It is a big responsibility in itself.Children with them bring the pandora of responsibilities and they take away much of the quality time which was at the disposal of the parents before their arrival. Requirement of funds go up drastically and life looks monotonous.Yes children do bring joy and also a CORD along with them and this cord helps in strengthening the love bond between their Far stretched parents.....so this period is a mixed bag for the couples. During this stage couple need to show maturity,a sense of adjustment and ofcourse have to seek additional responsibilities cheerfully...WITH A BROAD SMILE. This period is called CHURNNING PERIOD.......and most of the couples do make to the next stage......KUchh dukhi ho kar too kuchh hanstte-2............but there are a few who do bucklle under pressure.
Next stage is when children go to school and start sharing thoughts with parents.At this stage things look harmonious but wait this stage is called a STAGE OF BLUNDERS TOO. Maximum cross connections are made during this stage as couples start aging and some of them get desperate for variety out site the sacred married institution and hence the couples have to be more understanding,restrained and more forthcoming for each other to guard against the Dangerous monster lerking in the backyard. If couples can stay loyal to each other at this stage and can lift the additional resonsibilties forced by growing children and their education..then i can vauch that they have MADE IT to the final stage...which is nothing but bliss and a realisation of a JOB WELDONE. Many marriages get rocked at this stage universally.
Final Stage: This is the stage when children are persuing their higher studies and are getting settled down with their carears.At this stage parents get a little financially stretched but fortunately they are much better equipped to handle the expences[thanks to the regular savings] and higher opay packets. At this stage the wife-husband duo appear like BHAI-BEHEN.....as they are made for each other in real sense of things and they understand each other near perfactly. Also they have plenty of time at their disposal[A second honeymoon trip down the lane,i suppose]
Suggestions/solutions/advises: Though there are no tailored suggestion/advises which can be fool proof as Marriages are made in hevens but still a few advises if taken in right earnest can surely be of immense help:
Try find a partener of your stature,Talk things out before marriage,Be prepared to face the ever increasing responsibilities,Remember that THE LIFE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES ALWAYS....some times you have to walk on thorns too, Love each other always,Share each other's burdons and solve them regularly,Give a pat always...for every job weldone,Avoid criticizing your partener in public,Don't take shelter in alcohol or drugs,face the life bravely,Say i love you to each other even if you don't like certain things in each other,Remember that there are no perfact couples....they are only good or bad,give breathing space to each other....couples are indviduals too,Arguments if anty must be settled amicably and without delay as prolonged misunderstanding results in doom,Feel for each other and seek advise& PRAY A LITTLE. All the best.
More inputs after hearing from other member please.
).... but again what the heck... i wonder what was done in our parents age and days... how come they act so naturally...