pnauhwar21
New member
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman
---------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
---------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
--------------------------------------------------
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-George Burns
-------------------------------------------------
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
-----------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love
and didn't notice."
----------------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in months - I
don't like to interrupt her.
--------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.
--------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he
decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than
his wife did.
-------------------------------------------------
Getting married is very much like going to a
restaurant with friends. You order what you want,
then when you see
what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that
----------------------------------------------
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
------------------------------------------------
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding
is that you never get to prove it.
---------------------------------------------------
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe
----------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep
------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.
-----------------------------------------------
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all -
money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a
beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!" "What
happened?"
asked his friend. "My wife found out...
---------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-----------------------------------------------
I think one of the greatest things about marriage is
that as both husband and father, I can say anything
I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the
least bit of attention
-------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-------------------------------------------------
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
--------------------------------------------------
Words to live by:
Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute
---------------------------------------------------
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
-Henny Youngman
---------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
---------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
--------------------------------------------------
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-George Burns
-------------------------------------------------
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
-----------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love
and didn't notice."
----------------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in months - I
don't like to interrupt her.
--------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.
--------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he
decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than
his wife did.
-------------------------------------------------
Getting married is very much like going to a
restaurant with friends. You order what you want,
then when you see
what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that
----------------------------------------------
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
------------------------------------------------
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding
is that you never get to prove it.
---------------------------------------------------
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe
----------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep
------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.
-----------------------------------------------
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all -
money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a
beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!" "What
happened?"
asked his friend. "My wife found out...
---------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-----------------------------------------------
I think one of the greatest things about marriage is
that as both husband and father, I can say anything
I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the
least bit of attention
-------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-------------------------------------------------
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
--------------------------------------------------
Words to live by:
Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute
---------------------------------------------------
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.