No band, no dhol, and just 11 baratis

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sanjaychhikara

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A very good example like how they do it

No band, no dhol, and just 11 baratis
Parmindar Singh

Noida, June 29
The Gujjar community, generally perceived to be conservative, has taken a bold step which, if emulated by others, could help exorcise the scourge of dowry.

Taking a cue from the decision taken by the Gujjar community in a `maha panchayat’ last month, Hari Kishen Bhatti of Palla village and Hoshiar Singh of Raipur village in Dadri married off their sons to the daughters of Jai Pal of Dairy Muchh village.

The marriage parties went without the usual paraphernalia of a band or beating of drums. In fact, only 11 baratis accompanied the groom to the venue. And, for once, the marriage was solemnised without any dowry or gifts exchanging hands.

A prominent Gujjar activist, Bir Singh, who is spearheading the drive, has vowed to honour those families which went in for simple marriages and did not accept dowry.

Recently, a few girls like Nisha Sharma of Noida and Anupama and Farzana of New Delhi have taken up cudgels against dowry, teaching the dowry-seekers a lesson.

The Gujjar Samaj had announced the start of a campaign against dowry in a `maha panchayat’ last month. Those who sought dowry would be excommunicated from the society, the congregation had decided.

Now, Hari Kishen and Hoshiar Singh have taken a lead in this direction. Incidentally, the marriage was solemnised in four hours.
 
Sanjay this is a very nice piece of information, May be Jat panchayat should learn from these gujjar initiatives and do something similar.

In our community today its not restricted to just dhol and Band...dowry, Alcohol usage and firearm use in weddings is a big issue...
 
This is not the first of its kind.
few years ago "JAT mahasabha" takes similar decisions and that were followed in text and spirit by the common man.
but then came the marriage ceramony of son of JAT leader. all rules came to an end in that
marriage.
So leaders must give examples to common men otherwise history would repeat itself.

common man is always ready.
leaders must take firm initiative.
 
Let me share with all of you something very personal. When I got married, my inlaws told me that they being Arya Samaji, would prefer if I go with only five baraties. I went with just total five baraties. To my horror we were lost in a crowd of 800 guests from my wife side. And worst part is that my wife curses me till this date that I went as if it was going for some matam....hahahhahahaa...Wedding is once in a life time event and I would like that let the girl and boy decide what all they will like to do. Let parents be just facilitators and not the will imposers.

Rajendra
 
Kalkhunde saab very well said its hopefully once in a life event so let the couple decide themselves. My personal opionion is that with no bend bajah no shoor, shadi aschie nahi lagtih

Rajendra Kumar Kalkhunde (Jul 01, 2003 09:27 a.m.):
Wedding is once in a life time event and I would like that let the girl and boy decide what all they will like to do. Let parents be just facilitators and not the will imposers.

Rajendra
Click to expand...
 
I second your thoughts Rajendra Ji.

Rajendra Kumar Kalkhunde (Jul 01, 2003 09:27 a.m.):
Let me share with all of you something very personal. When I got married, my inlaws told me that they being Arya Samaji, would prefer if I go with only five baraties. I went with just total five baraties. To my horror we were lost in a crowd of 800 guests from my wife side. And worst part is that my wife curses me till this date that I went as if it was going for some matam....hahahhahahaa...Wedding is once in a life time event and I would like that let the girl and boy decide what all they will like to do. Let parents be just facilitators and not the will imposers.

Rajendra
Click to expand...
 
I would say that feeding some people at a gathering/reception is not a big problem. To prepare simple & healthy food for a few hundred people is not very expensive. Moreover, to feed some hungry people is the best form of Karma-Yoga. The real issue is that of dowry - the exchange of expensive vehicles, cash and other stuff that drives some families in extreme hardships if not outright bankruptcy. Our society will degenerate if we don’t reform ourselves with respect to this evil of dowry. Simply think about it - a girl’s family has to come up with a line of expensive items to appease groom’s side. How sad - they are already losing a grown up member and then they are forced to pay up ! Terrible ! I suggest that, if at all, groom’s side should give some gifts to bride’s family as a token of appreciation for doing such a good job in bringing up a healthy person who is leaving them. How about that folks !!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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