Past Relationship: Do you accept ?

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dkumars

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Would you like to marry a gal/guy who had some past relationship with some other guy/gal, what if he/she tells you this before marriage or if you come to know from some other source? What will be your reaction if you come to know about that after marriage? How will you tackle the situation?
Here, I am talking about love but not any kinda physical relationship.

Also, please support your answer with some solid reason.
 
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quite an interesting topic....

wel i really wudnt mind whether he tells me abt his past or not...n even if thr was some girl in his past....


i do not expect him to b a saint til he gets married to me.....

as long as thr is nobody after me...m ok wit it :cool:
 
shwetadhaka said:
Welcome Back :D

The first thing that this topic suggests is that DK is back :p
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Yeah, m back :)
But u didn ans the question :)

bhavnasingh20 said:
quite an interesting topic....

wel i really wudnt mind whether he tells me abt his past or not...n even if thr was some girl in his past....


i do not expect him to b a saint til he gets married to me..... So, do u expect him to be a saint after getting married with u :p

as long as thr is nobody after me...m ok wit it :cool: ... sorry i cudn get this .. after u means ???
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Nice thoughts ... gud to hear
 
bhavnasingh20 said:
quite an interesting topic....

wel i really wudnt mind whether he tells me abt his past or not...n even if thr was some girl in his past....


i do not expect him to b a saint til he gets married to me.....

as long as thr is nobody after me...m ok wit it :cool:
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Bhavna , someone put this one up in her profile , i guess it is exactly what you say , jut a mere more poetic description!
=============================
Abt life partner its all destiny all I want is.
I don't care how many lips u've kissed,
How many shoulders u've embraced & How many times u've said, "I luv u" All I care is not be the first but to b ur last!
=============================




PS : These are not my personal views! :)
 
Well well well ….. once upon a time women used to stay in a cluster and men had another one ….. oops ! I mean girls and boys used to exist in their own separate groups ! :)

Un dino koi ladka kisi ladki ko nazar utha ke dekh le to baat hua karti thi :p….. aur agar baat kar le to aur bhi badi baat hui karti thi .;).... aur agar kahi touch kar de to kaafi badi baat hua karti thi ……. :D

 Aur aaj ladke ladkiyaan ek saath khelte, kudte ,padhte , likhte hi bade hote hain (cities me to kam se kam). To jab do opposite sex ke log saath me rehte hain to attraction hone jaisi baatein bhi ho jaati hain ….. aur ye attraction 'love' banta hai ya nahi ye dono ki wish aur situations pe depend karta hai …. par ye so called ‘attraction’ ya ‘love’ hone ko galat to nahi kaha jaana chahiye mere hisaab se …. To agar aisa kuch hua ho to ek limit tak usme koi buraayi aisi nahi hai ….

baaki rahi reaction ki baat to wo kaafi had tak situational hai .... it depends on the timing when this fact is disclosed, by whom it is disclosed, the rapo being shared between the couple and the understanding they have. To repeat it, its not a crime though :)
 
shwetadhaka said:
Well well well ….. once upon a time women used to stay in a cluster and men had another one ….. oops ! I mean girls and boys used to exist in their own separate groups ! :)

Un dino koi ladka kisi ladki ko nazar utha ke dekh le to baat hua karti thi :p….. aur agar baat kar le to aur bhi badi baat hui karti thi .;).... aur agar kahi touch kar de to kaafi badi baat hua karti thi ……. :D

Aur aaj ladke ladkiyaan ek saath khelte, kudte ,padhte , likhte hi bade hote hain (cities me to kam se kam). To jab do opposite sex ke log saath me rehte hain to attraction hone jaisi baatein bhi ho jaati hain ….. aur ye attraction 'love' banta hai ya nahi ye dono ki wish aur situations pe depend karta hai …. par ye so called ‘attraction’ ya ‘love’ hone ko galat to nahi kaha jaana chahiye mere hisaab se …. To agar aisa kuch hua ho to ek limit tak usme koi buraayi aisi nahi hai ….


baaki rahi reaction ki baat to wo kaafi had tak situational hai .... it depends on the timing when this fact is disclosed, by whom it is disclosed, the rapo being shared between the couple and the understanding they have. To repeat it, its not a crime though :)
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Well Shweta ji ... u have narrated the story but still didn ans the questions ... the questions are what and why "baaki rahi reaction ki baat to wo kaafi had tak situational hai .... it depends on the timing when this fact is disclosed, by whom it is disclosed, the rapo being shared between the couple and the understanding they have. "
 
dkumars said:
wasie ye wo koun hai ???
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DK jab aayegi to pata chal jaayega!

main mooh lakhone jaa raha :p :D

=============


Here is an excerpt from one of my blogs:

==========

Crushes, affairs, relationships are the norm of the day. We all have them at some point of time and that "point" is surely before the disillusionment point. Have not we felt the emotions sometime? How many times can you use your emotions? Or better put how many times can you feel the same intensity of the same emotion. Using the titration analogy, I remember I used to run my base too fast and go a lil beyond the titre point and then almost always faked by putting a few more drops of acid ;). Are we ready to put that extra bit of zest in the second or possible third or more relationship of ours? Think over it, for feeling the same heavenly feelings again and making the relationship work exactly the way we want, we need that creativity, we need that fire within ourselves first. We have had felt those divinely emotions at some point of time and to appreciate them again or to derive the same pleasure out of them, we must consciously make efforts to enjoy them.

===============

I guess you can guess my answer ;)
 
If i get to know it from someother source that my husband had an affair before marriage......i will be really upset.but if he has told me..then i wont have any problem.past is past..........present and future matters.
dkumars said:
Would you like to marry a gal/guy who had some past relationship with some other guy/gal, what if he/she tells you this before marriage or if you come to know from some other source? What will be your reaction if you come to know about that after marriage? How will you tackle the situation?
Here, I am talking about love but not any kinda physical relationship.

Also, please support your answer with some solid reason.
Click to expand...
 
Reasonable

I feel members feeling hesitant to write anything about it ;):D:p

But I'm very open to present my simple opinions anywhere, whether accepted or not :)

Devender, for your question I'll have to decide according to the two situations:
  1. Before marriage
  2. After marriage
Before marriage case: In that case, I would never like to ask anything about the past history of unwanted relationships of the guy as developing thoughts on unwanted topics seems senseless to me.

After marriage case: In that case, if the other half want to get rid of past thoughts disturbing every now and then, and he is looking the for chance to feel comfortable and relaxed without disturbing the present relationship then I'll be always there present for him because then only my worth as other half seems to be true.

Now, about the disturbance of present relationship......it depends on the person how he/she looks into that situation and I know about myself that I respect beauty in any sense but opposite is the case if anything disrupts the beauty.

Rest, as an individual I also require the attention and regards in the manner that person so involved in past relationships should learn to look forward with new world, rather than always looking back and disturbing life.
 
A thought which comes to a girls and a guys mind , which is very very very natural is 'sex'. and definitely it wont be discussed here as members are too shy.

Are u guys talking about the relationships with sex or without sex? thats what lot people have at the back of their head but they are more scared than shy to ask.

I think lot of people wont mind past emotional relationships 'without sex' but when it comes to relationships 'with sex' then they start thinking alot.

Generally girls are open to ask it from guys 'how many women u have slept with?' 'r u virgin?' ' have u had any serious relationships' and all that

Guys play a bit safe in asking questions like that. It can hurt guys more than it can hurt girls (depends on the culure though). Jats are very conservative no matter how educated they are. but its hard to accept past relationships.
 
gaganjat said:
A thought which comes to a girls and a guys mind , which is very very very natural is 'sex'. and definitely it wont be discussed here as members are too shy.
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Agreed, but thoughts can be put without mentioning specific words as Devender already had mentioned in his question in his own style.
 
Reality

Ok.. it is very difficult to accept the past relationship in the present Indian society, specially for Male.

Female may willingly or forcefully may accept the past relationship, but I think Male dominated society will allow a male to accept it publically. An understanding Male may accept privately, without disclosing it publically.

STILL THAT'S THE FACT
 
to avoid any fine prints on the back page ,direct,straight and specific is good. everyone thinks differently it prevents confusion.

but i m pretty sure it not gona help here on a public forum:mad:


choudharyneelam said:
Agreed, but thoughts can be put without mentioning specific words as Devender already had mentioned in his question in his own style.
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raksngh said:
Ok.. it is very difficult to accept the past relationship in the present Indian society, specially for Male.
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Its not only for male but even the same for a female. If so happens, then as you said, female accept it willingly or forcefully...but a man take it as a tool to restrict/harm/hurt woman....this also is a hard fact, as observed in relationship disputes. That you talked about keeping it priavte or disclosing in public, then I feel women always keep it private....only limited to her knowledge and then also pays the equal regards without hurting the partner's sentiments.

So, i'll say that it depends on person's understanding, how he/she has to accept the things for healthy relationship.
 
gaganjat said:
to avoid any fine prints on the back page ,direct,straight and specific is good. everyone thinks differently it prevents confusion.

but i m pretty sure it not gona help here on a public forum:mad:
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hmmm...it means, that discussed about sex education (still to be implemented in schools) for healthy development of a child seems senseless to discuss publicly....If these two situations does not inter-relate then why all worthy people wasting time in having better thoughts about the same.

Anyways, I don't have any problem, i expressed my opinions without any shyness (as I know very well, where this characteristics is required more)
 
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