Past Relationship: Do you accept ?

[nishantrathi82]

Would you like to marry a gal/guy who had some past relationship with some other guy/gal, what if he/she tells you this before marriage or if you come to know from some other source? What will be your reaction if you come to know about that after marriage? How will you tackle the situation?
Here, I am talking about love but not any kinda physical relationship.

Also, please support your answer with some solid reason.

Wohhh very difficult let me try 1st situation- May be i will marry her if she told me about the relationship before getting married and convinced me that she is not going to do this again in future.2nd- If from some other source i will not marry her.3rd- After marriage its very hard to tell , i will feel like i don't know actually but still if she convince me that now she is loyal for me i can try to forget the things.I m not very sure but tried to answer what i think at present.

 

[arvind1069]

jo beet gaya uska kya.....bas jo beeta hai uske impressions ya prabhav mind par nahi hona chahiye.
i will marry a girl whome i love and who loves me, irrespective of her past romantic affair.

west main koi bhi shadi se pehle virgin nahi hota, na ladki na ladka. but inko koi farak nahi hai. they r happy and their married life seldom breaks due to this issue.

 

[choudharyneelam]

Wohhh very difficult let me try 1st situation- May be i will marry her if she told me about the relationship before getting married and convinced me that she is not going to do this again in future.2nd- If from some other source i will not marry her.3rd- After marriage its very hard to tell , i will feel like i don't know actually but still if she convince me that now she is loyal for me i can try to forget the things.I m not very sure but tried to answer what i think at present.

how cute

for sure your would be will never be involved in any such thing.....as such sweet people always find the sweetest match for themselves

seriously, your reply is filled with sweetness hidden somewhere in your simplest words and reasons

May God bless U and keep U the same forever

 

[siwach2767]

jo beet gayi so baat gayi... but she should tell the truth before marriage.. i don't mind to marry with such a girl... if she realise that she made a mistake and in future she will loyal to me..... sache logon ki mein izzat karta hun or galtiyan insaan se hi hoti hain...

 

[anilsinghd]

or galtiyan insaan se hi hoti hain...

And how many of us believe that "IT" was a mistake ?


Not to divert the topic but this is very integreal to the discussion i believe!

As Shweta aptly described that because of the proximity , is not it all but natural to fall for each other and if we consider it as a fantasy thing , then like others , if this does not make eventuality , should we really be calling it a mistake ?

We think so many thing , formulate so many plans but do not carry them , should a wife/husband be concerned with all the plans as well?

 

[dkumars]

Wohhh very difficult let me try 1st situation- May be i will marry her if she told me about the relationship before getting married and convinced me that she is not going to do this again in future.2nd- If from some other source i will not marry her.3rd- After marriage its very hard to tell , i will feel like i don't know actually but still if she convince me that now she is loyal for me i can try to forget the things.I m not very sure but tried to answer what i think at present.

Nishant, i feel u have written a practical thing. When u come across such things i dont think its so easy to forget everything. Somewhere deep in mind it may disturb u. But what u wrote is real and practical. After marriage if u come to know abt such things thru some 3rd party then i feel its not so asy not even to give damn to it. Well gud to hear a candid reply

 

[dkumars]

jo beet gaya uska kya.....bas jo beeta hai uske impressions ya prabhav mind par nahi hona chahiye.
i will marry a girl whome i love and who loves me, irrespective of her past romantic affair.

west main koi bhi shadi se pehle virgin nahi hota, na ladki na ladka. but inko koi farak nahi hai. they r happy and their married life seldom breaks due to this issue.

well, west mein toh bahut kuch hota hai ... and let me tell u one thing here if u had a relationship then there is tendency that u can accept ur partner's relationship easily. Same is the case in west. They don mind not getting a virgin patner coz they themselves are not. Well, in India situation is different. Even love wala relation is also considered as a big issue which can create a blunder and make ur life like hell. Waise, we are not talking abt virginity coz that comes under physical relationship.

When before marriage at the time of background verification if u or ur family find a gal/boy into some relation then mostly that rishta breaks even if this is just love wala relation.

 

[dkumars]

jo beet gayi so baat gayi... but she should tell the truth before marriage.. i don't mind to marry with such a girl... if she realise that she made a mistake and in future she will loyal to me..... sache logon ki mein izzat karta hun or galtiyan insaan se hi hoti hain...

Do u think loving someone means she has committed some mistake?

 

[nishantrathi82]

Nishant, i feel u have written a practical thing. When u come across such things i dont think its so easy to forget everything. Somewhere deep in mind it may disturb u. But what u wrote is real and practical. After marriage if u come to know abt such things thru some 3rd party then i feel its not so asy not even to give damn to it. Well gud to hear a candid reply

how cute

for sure your would be will never be involved in any such thing.....as such sweet people always find the sweetest match for themselves

seriously, your reply is filled with sweetness hidden somewhere in your simplest words and reasons

May God bless U and keep U the same forever

Thanks a lot to both of u

 

[maniisha]

jo beet gaya uska kya.....bas jo beeta hai uske impressions ya prabhav mind par nahi hona chahiye.
i will marry a girl whome i love and who loves me, irrespective of her past romantic affair.

west main koi bhi shadi se pehle virgin nahi hota, na ladki na ladka. but inko koi farak nahi hai. they r happy and their married life seldom breaks due to this issue.

Second ur thoughts Arvind ...
Life tho future ki sath bitani hai naaki pichli life ko sochkr aage ki life barbaad kare ...

Thanks Anil to Share my .. thoughts here ..

Abt life partner its all destiny all I want is.
I don't care how many lips u've kissed,
How many shoulders u've embraced & How many times u've said, "I luv u" All I care is not be the first but to b ur last!

Wohhh very difficult let me try 1st situation- May be i will marry her if she told me about the relationship before getting married

Nishant ... if she will not tell u abt her past life then ?????????
kaffi past eise hote hai jho bataye nahi jate .....

and convinced me that she is not going to do this again in future.2nd- If from some other source i will not marry her.3rd- After marriage its very hard to tell , i will feel like i don't know actually but still if she convince me that now she is loyal for me i can try to forget the things.I m not very sure but tried to answer what i think at present.

Wht do u mean by this ...

 

[sunitahooda]

Neelam....we HAVE TO use THAT word because WE JATS are "CONSERVATIVE" aren't we? We wouldn't come to know about the essence IF we are not given proper directions or we might misunderstand that we do ....most of the times because we are JATS

While most will say that they believe in present & in future and past doesn't matter....i say all are telling fibs. It takes a brave and forgiving heart which even Maryada Pushottam Ram didn't have.

In modern scenario its common to have a relationship as kids are so impatient even at school level to indulge in an affair.

Even if the girl admits a past relationship and that too a simple healthy friendship, the guy is always doubtful and sooner or later spoils the present and future. Jat boys are still not that broadminded whether accept or deny but fact is fact. Few will jump to oppose my views to show how mature they are but few not all.

A relationship is a relationship no matter with or without THAT. Here conservative boys will try to soothe their souls by thinking and thanking God almighty that she wasn't into a physical affair

Someone wrote that in foreign countries no one is virgin....but they either don't marry or THEY MARRY TOO MANY TIMES.... why to copy just one thing from western culture?

If someone is caring and emotional enough to love someone ONCE then that person will love with same intensity....you just have to be lucky enough to come across that special someone Then THE PAST should not matter at all

Agreed, but thoughts can be put without mentioning specific words as Devender already had mentioned in his question in his own style.

 

[gaganjat]

hmmm...it means, that discussed about sex education (still to be implemented in schools) for healthy development of a child seems senseless to discuss publicly....If these two situations does not inter-relate then why all worthy people wasting time in having better thoughts about the same.

Anyways, I don't have any problem, i expressed my opinions without any shyness (as I know very well, where this characteristics is required more)

true ! everything happens everywhere but due to lack of awereness Indian kids suffer , grown ups suffer . but everyone need to keep the mouth shut.

 

[dreamer]

Fully Agreed

Neelam....we HAV TO use THAT word because WE JATS are "CONSERVATIVE" aren't we? We wouldn't come to know about the essence we are not given proper directions or we might misunderstand that we do ....most of the times because we are JATS

While most will say that they believe in present & in future and past doesn't matter....i say all are telling fibs. It takes a brave and forgiving heart which even Maryada Pushottam Ram didn't have.

In modern scenario its common to have a relationship as kids are so impatient even at school level to indulge in an affair.

Even if the girl admits a past relationship and that too a simple healthy friendship, the guy is always doubtful and sooner or later spoils the present and future. Jat boys are still not that broadminded whether accept or deny but fact is fact. Few will jump to oppose my views to show how mature they are but few not all.

A relationship is a relationship no matter with or without THAT. Here conservative boys will try to soothe their souls by thinking and thanking God almighty that she wasn't into a physical affair

Someone wrote that in foreign countries no one is virgin....but they either don't marry or THEY MARRY TOO MANY TIMES.... why to copy just one thing from western culture?

If someone is caring and emotional enough to love someone ONCE then that person will love with same intensity....you just have to be lucky enough to come across that special someone Then THE PAST should not matter at all

I was ignoring this thread dont know y ! But Now I will have to write something .. Some things should remain hidden .. Yeah we boys are made so ok precisely Jat Boys are made so .. If our girl friend or wife accepts that she was with someone else without THAT too .. Dil baith sa jaayega ... (not my story mind u hihihi) .. I mean y the hell one guy will try to find something (dangerous to their relationship) about that girl with whom he is starting to fall in love with .. And Girls pls keep that stupid thing up to you .. dont be fool in that infatuation called Love ... Yeah boasting is one thing but reality can tear you and your relationship apart. And at last .. I am not going to tell her about any serious Bhasoodi of mine.


No offense Pls ..

 

[sunitahooda]

Dil-dil na tuttey....bawley goddyan ka jee sa likadd jaga....and dont say to keep that STUPID thing to your self because THAT STUPID THING HAD BEEN LOVE rather infatuation....ONCE UPON A TIME

I was ignoring this thread dont know y ! But Now I will have to write something .. Some things should remain hidden .. Yeah we boys are made so ok precisely Jat Boys are made so .. If our girl friend or wife accepts that she was with someone else without THAT too .. Dil baith sa jaayega ... (not my story mind u hihihi) .. I mean y the hell one guy will try to find something (dangerous to their relationship) about that girl with whom he is starting to fall in love with .. And Girls pls keep that stupid thing up to you .. dont be fool in that infatuation called Love ... Yeah boasting is one thing but reality can tear you and your relationship apart. And at last .. I am not going to tell her about any serious Bhasoodi of mine.


No offense Pls ..

 

[dreamer]

Hihi

Dil-dil na tuttey....bawley goddyan ka jee sa likadd jaga....and dont say to keep that STUPID thing to your self because THAT STUPID THING HAD BEEN LOVE rather infatuation....ONCE UPON A TIME

Yoh mera reply delete nahin hona chahiye !!! u know off topic sa sai !! dil tutta na tha .. baitha tha .. Once Upon A Time toh Thirsty Crow hoya karai .. baaki kimmai na hoya karai .. LOVE hihihi ... Tell 1 thing main bhi literally Roya karta ek chhori khaatar .. wat was dat LOVE Yah Infatuation .. was never desperate for THAT too .. and also could never tell her ...

 

[sunitahooda]

Amarjeet....please don't mind....but WHY she has to disguise her past love-affair like a MISTAKE, the only unfortunate thing can be that she couldn't marry the guy she loved or the love happened to be one sided, or the guy's or gal's parents didn't agree or BOTH didn't have the courage to put their marriage proposal in front of their parents?
Or is it that you'll be comforted to know THAT IT WAS A MISTAKE an WHAT IF....it wasn't but she just wants you to know the truth and not be JUDGEMENTAL WHETHER IT WAS OR NOT 'A MISTAKE'

jo beet gayi so baat gayi... but she should tell the truth before marriage.. i don't mind to marry with such a girl... if she realise that she made a mistake and in future she will loyal to me..... sache logon ki mein izzat karta hun or galtiyan insaan se hi hoti hain...

 

[vikasgulia]

Yoh mera reply delete nahin hona chahiye !!! u know off topic sa sai !! dil tutta na tha .. baitha tha .. Once Upon A Time toh Thirsty Crow hoya karai .. baaki kimmai na hoya karai .. LOVE hihihi ... Tell 1 thing main bhi literally Roya karta ek chhori khaatar .. wat was dat LOVE Yah Infatuation .. was never desperate for THAT too .. and also could never tell her ...

Oye khotya kabhi school-college mein to bataya nahin tune aur yahan confession kar rha hai ...vo bhi public froum mein....Agar pehale bata diya hota to kam se kam tere se kahlwa to dete...:boxing

Baaki title mein thoda badlaw hona chahiye ..

Instead of Past Relationship: Do you accept ? it should be Past Relationship(s): Do you accept ?

Chill maro yar jo hona tha ho gaya..jo beet gayi so baat gayi ..

(उसके) जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वह (उसे) बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अंबर के आंगन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फ़िर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अम्बर शौक मनाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई..
अब जब उसे ही शौक नहीं है तो हम काहे को Shock में जायेंगे भाई :boxing

 

[choudharyneelam]

Good reply

Some things should remain hidden..If our girl friend or wife accepts that she was with someone else without THAT too .. Dil baith sa jaayega ... (not my story mind u hihihi) .. I mean y the hell one guy will try to find something (dangerous to their relationship) about that girl with whom he is starting to fall in love with .. And Girls pls keep that stupid thing up to you .. dont be fool in that infatuation called Love ... Yeah boasting is one thing but reality can tear you and your relationship apart. And at last

Very practical.....and that's why I stated something related in my first case that I don't want to know anything about the unwanted relationship(s)

 

[choudharyneelam]

Neelam....we HAVE TO use THAT word because WE JATS are "CONSERVATIVE" aren't we? We wouldn't come to know about the essence IF we are not given proper directions or we might misunderstand that we do ....most of the times because we are JATS

In modern scenario its common to have a relationship as kids are so impatient even at school level to indulge in an affair.

Someone wrote that in foreign countries no one is virgin....but they either don't marry or THEY MARRY TOO MANY TIMES.... why to copy just one thing from western culture?

If someone is caring and emotional enough to love someone ONCE then that person will love with same intensity....you just have to be lucky enough to come across that special someone Then THE PAST should not matter at all

Agreed

It takes a brave and forgiving heart which even Maryada Pushottam Ram didn't have.

This example is not appropriate.....as their case was publicly known.....and Ramji was insisted by that public to do something like that....so when the case goes into public's notice then it requires lot many formalities without considering whether any person is getting hurt or not

 

[devdahiya]

Would you like to marry a gal/guy who had some past relationship with some other guy/gal, what if he/she tells you this before marriage or if you come to know from some other source? What will be your reaction if you come to know about that after marriage? How will you tackle the situation?
Here, I am talking about love but not any kinda physical relationship.

Also, please support your answer with some solid reason.

My dear Devender,I was a little fortunate not to have encountered this problem as i did not have a chance encounter or planned relationship with any female before marriage ...may be in our times these things were not common.Same way my wife too had that orthodox upbringing that having a relationship was considered more of a sin and as such we had no stories of past to share(nice for us) but in present times these things are not uncommon as taboos have broken and people of both sexes are more free to mingle and get into a relationship because they have started taking responsibilities of their actions...good or bad.


And when most of the people indulge in these kind of experiences,they are becoming more vocal and honest about admitting about their such relationships to each other after marriage.....'NO BIG DEAL SYNDROME' is working well in present circumstances and if that be the way of life and society being more frank and honest......no harm in accepting these kind of relationships in right earnest.If you are liberal in your approach.....let the partner's liberty too be respected that way.Not big deal really!