Past Relationship: Do you accept ?

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About mistake part I think it like.....

When children are not that mature, there are chances that they can commit such mistake, as seen now-a-days almost everywhere....so that should not be regarded as mistake. Sometimes its very natural due to the attraction of opposite sex and lack of knowledge and basic understanding. Now, this is the problem to be dealt effectively. Only parents with children in teen-age can explain better.

And, when such mistake is committed knowingly then that should definitely be considered as a mistake. Here, if one calls it LOVE...then the person so in love should carry it beautifully and discuss about it with parents before indulging in any unaccepted social custom. Otherwise, I would only say, that they are the real flirts and just taking the relationship for pleasure.
 
devdahiya said:
.....'NO BIG DEAL SYNDROME' is working well in present circumstances and if that be the way of life and society being more frank and honest......no harm in accepting these kind of relationships in right earnest.If you are liberal in your approach.....let the partner's liberty too be respected that way.Not big deal really!
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Sir, you are very right and open with your thoughts.....but don't you feel that rather than getting more frank and disturbing relationship, it should be accepted quietly, without asking.....Because if you yourself has been very loyal with your character, but your partner is not so, then its become little difficult to accept the same if the facts come to knowledge....so better, not to ask anything on this topic, as fidelity can be measured through present relationship....not by getting the trust through frankness....which infact is not a trust, but a doubt untill one feel good by himself/herself.....also person dealing with such truth can only understand the phase how he/she is going through
 
Maniisha said:
Nishant ... if she will not tell u abt her past life then ?????????
kaffi past eise hote hai jho bataye nahi jate .....



Wht do u mean by this ... :confused:
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Manni agar mujhe kuch pata nahe chalega to koi prob nahe hai i will feel that ever thing is fine and she is loyal abt me simple.
 
Whatever I wished to write has already been written by Ravi ( samajh jaao saare please :(:o).

At this point of time , that is the present , i think that if at all i come to know about a past realtionship of my would be (before or after the marriage) , it would be a jolt but i am pretty sure ( remember i am talking about present) i would take that in stride! Because i firmly believe it is not a sin! :)

Other thing that i wish to say is that i have carried over my thoughts , ideas , views over years , i believe in continuity of thoughts and emotions , so I am confident of this present thinking continuing! :)
 
If someone says that they won't mind past relationships at all and will just move ahead then they are lying and decepting others as well as themselves.

It's quite genuine that if someone come to know about the past relationship of his/her spouse there would be reaction of that 'action'. Obviously there would be discussions .... arguments ..... debates .... attacks ...... counterattacks ...... and so on upto bitter fights. What really matters is that if they conclude it or not after the show. What they conclude and how long they stick to their promises ( with or without grudges ) :)
 
vijay said:
If someone says that they won't mind past relationships at all and will just move ahead then they are lying and decepting others as well as themselves.

It's quite genuine that if someone come to know about the past relationship of his/her spouse there would be reaction of that 'action'. Obviously there would be discussions .... arguments ..... debates .... attacks ...... counterattacks ...... and so on upto bitter fights. What really matters is that if they conclude it or not after the show. What they conclude and how long they stick to their promises ( with or without grudges ) :)
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Very True ,Vijay.
 
sunita if she won't tell me anything i always think that she is loyal to me... or rahi baat "mistake" ki to agar aap shaadi kar letey hain to pichli sabhi baatein galati hi lagati hain.... if u get enough love from that person whom u married. or waisey bhi humey uskey past ke saath jeevan nahi gujarana.. sirf future se hi matlab hai. past uska kaisa bhi raha ho....

sunitahooda said:
Amarjeet....please don't mind....but WHY she has to disguise her past love-affair like a MISTAKE, the only unfortunate thing can be that she couldn't marry the guy she loved or the love happened to be one sided, or the guy's or gal's parents didn't agree or BOTH didn't have the courage to put their marriage proposal in front of their parents?
Or is it that you'll be comforted to know THAT IT WAS A MISTAKE an WHAT IF....:confused:it wasn't but she just wants you to know the truth and not be JUDGEMENTAL WHETHER IT WAS OR NOT 'A MISTAKE':):)
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Amarjeet....if PEOPLE are not able to consummate it should not be considered A MISTAKE....shouldn't it simply mean that the 'SITUATION' wasn't favourable enough to work as per their wishes:)

Something similar happened to one of my friends. The boy didn't tell his wife about his love affair and apparently someone told his wife of his past. Though they were not getting along very well but the revealed fact worsen the situation and even after sincere efforts the wife doesn't want to forget his past....not to mention the man has been dedicated towards his wife after marriage but the love-affair wasn't 'A MISTAKE' the problem was the boy was younger than the girl and his parents wouldn't accept the girl,instead found an unsuitable MATCH just to torture many lives:) Not to mention the man is adamant that his affair wasn't a mistake;) and that it was love
siwach2767 said:
sunita if she won't tell me anything i always think that she is loyal to me... or rahi baat "mistake" ki to agar aap shaadi kar letey hain to pichli sabhi baatein galati hi lagati hain.... if u get enough love from that person whom u married. or waisey bhi humey uskey past ke saath jeevan nahi gujarana.. sirf future se hi matlab hai. past uska kaisa bhi raha ho....
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sunita ye baat to sach hai ki agar aapko bahar se relationship ke baarey mein pata lagega to jyada dukh hoga... dukh hi nahi hoga balki aap wali baat hai "goodey toot jangey" to behtar to yahi hota hai ki sab kuch shaadi se pahley hi baat saaf kar lein.... agar nahi bhi kar paatey to baat baat mein shaadi ke baad bhi batai ja sakti hai... shaadi ke baat aapko apney jeevan saathi ka kuch to nature pata lag hi jaata hai.. uskey nature ko samjhtey huye ussey is baarey mein discussion kiya ja sakta hai.... baaki sabhi logon ka apna khayal hota hai... or jab shaadi kar hi li.. to bahar walon se pata laga to usey jhoot maan lena chahiye... merey hisab se.. kyonki ab baaki jeevan to aapko usi ke saath bitana hai.... kyon dukhi howein past ki soch kar....


sunitahooda said:
Amarjeet....if PEOPLE are not able to consummate it should not be considered A MISTAKE....shouldn't it simply mean that the 'SITUATION' wasn't favourable enough to work as per their wishes:)

Something similar happened to one of my friends. The boy didn't tell his wife about his love affair and apparently someone told his wife of his past. Though they were not getting along very well but the revealed fact worsen the situation and even after sincere efforts the wife doesn't want to forget his past....not to mention the man has been dedicated towards his wife after marriage but the love-affair wasn't 'A MISTAKE' the problem was the boy was younger than the girl and his parents wouldn't accept the girl,instead found an unsuitable MATCH just to torture many lives:) Not to mention the man is adamant that his affair wasn't a mistake;) and that it was love
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siwach2767 said:
sunita if she won't tell me anything i always think that she is loyal to me... or rahi baat "mistake" ki to agar aap shaadi kar letey hain to pichli sabhi baatein galati hi lagati hain.... if u get enough love from that person whom u married. or waisey bhi humey uskey past ke saath jeevan nahi gujarana.. sirf future se hi matlab hai. past uska kaisa bhi raha ho....
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Dear i find u wrong here again ... past kaisa bhi raha ho nahi chalta ... backgrond verification mein sabhi chezein dekhi jaati hai ...yaha wasie love ki baat ki ja rahi hai lekin hone ko kuch bhi ho sakta hai aur aap bilkul accept nahi kar paaoge ... ye baate discuss karne mein thiek lagti hai ki past se kya karna hai jeena toh future mein hai but jab practically hoti hai tab itna aasaan nahi hota :)

siwach2767 said:
sunita ye baat to sach hai ki agar aapko bahar se relationship ke baarey mein pata lagega to jyada dukh hoga... dukh hi nahi hoga balki aap wali baat hai "goodey toot jangey" to behtar to yahi hota hai ki sab kuch shaadi se pahley hi baat saaf kar lein.... agar nahi bhi kar paatey to baat baat mein shaadi ke baad bhi batai ja sakti hai... shaadi ke baat aapko apney jeevan saathi ka kuch to nature pata lag hi jaata hai.. uskey nature ko samjhtey huye ussey is baarey mein discussion kiya ja sakta hai.... baaki sabhi logon ka apna khayal hota hai... or jab shaadi kar hi li.. to bahar walon se pata laga to usey jhoot maan lena chahiye... merey hisab se.. kyonki ab baaki jeevan to aapko usi ke saath bitana hai.... kyon dukhi howein past ki soch kar....
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Again aisi baaton ko jhooth maan lena practical nahi hai ... theaory mein ye baatein acchhi lagti hi but not practically, i assume :)
 
Neelam mujhe iss example mein kuch galat nahi lagta....ye alag baat hai ke peedhiyon se chaltey huay "Dharmik Smarthan' ke kaaran hum apney Bhagwan Ram mein koyi galti dekhna to door iski kalpna bhi nai karna chahtey....I don't want to write in detail or else the thread will loose its purposed subject matter which we are meant to discuss here.

And its not something new that if something is revealed by 'THE PUBLIC' then its not a mere MISTAKE it becomes an 'unforgivable SIN' but can we have a better example of hypocrisy than this?
So the public or society's mantra is sab karo par lukk-lukk kai ya bera mat paatan dyo....a big applause to 'OUR SOCIETY'
choudharyneelam said:
Agreed



This example is not appropriate.....as their case was publicly known.....and Ramji was insisted by that public to do something like that....so when the case goes into public's notice then it requires lot many formalities without considering whether any person is getting hurt or not






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It all depend on Situation

If anyone from you have seen movie "ASTITVA" than you will come to know that how much is difficult to face such kinda situation and more movie which is very much similar to this is "METRO".

now my personal opinion is below mentioned:-

The most important thing for this is situation. It all depend on situation that when and from whom you heard this ?????. Like if I came to know about this from other person than it will be more difficult to accept it as a mistake But if she tells me than it will all depend on her that how she can convince me to make me sure that she is serious and feel that it was mistake and it is not happening now and also will not happen in future. :rolleyes:
 
SANDEEP5 said:
If anyone from you have seen movie "ASTITVA" than you will come to know that how much is difficult to face such kinda situation and more movie which is very much similar to this is "METRO".
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Nishabdh to me was absurd when considering the reaction of the wife of Amitabh. Well i know we are not discussing movies out here.
You can kill me for supporting what you might be tempted to call a "moron" ( the character of Amitabh in Nishabdh ) but it was scary to realise that "one" single mistake can wipe out love , care , affection of 27 years.

That ain't justified for sure! :)
 
I agree with you. Practically, If anybody came to know about parterner affair before marriage nobody want to be engage that gal or guy. This is the reality. Haan after marriage agar pata chalta hai to preshani to hogi hi chahe kaise bhi pata chale. Many member mentioned here like... " my husband/wife had an affair before marriage......i will be really upset.but if he has told me..then i wont have any problem"
lekin option kya rahta hai..? Divorce or compromise..... Jaydatar log yahan der saber comromise hi karte hain.

Haan if you have any option ... you will not accept to marry with that person ha affair with someone.

Mujhe nahi lagta koi ye kahta ki mujhe uske baare main pahle hi pata tha fir bhi maine usse shadi kar li.....


dkumars said:
Dear i find u wrong here again ... past kaisa bhi raha ho nahi chalta ... backgrond verification mein sabhi chezein dekhi jaati hai ...yaha wasie love ki baat ki ja rahi hai lekin hone ko kuch bhi ho sakta hai aur aap bilkul accept nahi kar paaoge ... ye baate discuss karne mein thiek lagti hai ki past se kya karna hai jeena toh future mein hai but jab practically hoti hai tab itna aasaan nahi hota :)

this is absoluty true

Again aisi baaton ko jhooth maan lena practical nahi hai ... theaory mein ye baatein acchhi lagti hi but not practically, i assume :)
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Hello evryone!!!!!!!as i beleive ki agar aapko apni marriage ke baad is tarh ka kuch pta lge definatly aap hurt honge hi but shadi ke baad u hv to c a lot of things together family ,kids,social life etc etc. par main sochti hun ki jaise gadi back view mirror dekh ke nahi chalayi ja sakti aise hi jindgi bhi peeche mud ke dekh ke nahi chalayi ja sa sakti..............aage dekh ke chalna hi parivar ke hit me hota hai............
 
jyotikohar said:
Hello evryone!!!!!!!as i beleive ki agar aapko apni marriage ke baad is tarh ka kuch pta lge definatly aap hurt honge hi but shadi ke baad u hv to c a lot of things together family ,kids,social life etc etc. par main sochti hun ki jaise gadi back view mirror dekh ke nahi chalayi ja sakti aise hi jindgi bhi peeche mud ke dekh ke nahi chalayi ja sa sakti..............aage dekh ke chalna hi parivar ke hit me hota hai............
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Jyoti ji aapki post uchit hai par gaadi chalate samay agar back view mirror nahi ho toh bhi gaadi thiek se nahi chal sakti ... bada haadsa hone ke chances hote hai ...
 
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