shekhar_nehra
New member
[4]
[2]
Banta going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
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What is Banta doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
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Why did the Banta stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
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Why do Santa Banta work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
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What did Banta do when he noticed that someone had already written
on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
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How do you confuse Bana?
A: You don't. He is born that way.
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How do you keep Banta busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
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Why can't Banta make ice cubes?
A:He always forgets the recipe.
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How did Banta try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
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Why did Banta and his 17 friends go to a movie together?
A: Because it was wrtten outside the hall " Below18 not allowed" !!!
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What's the difference between Banta and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
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What does Banta say when you ask him if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.........
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What do you call Banta and his 9 friends standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
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What do you call Banta on a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
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What do you see when you look into a Banta's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
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Banta ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or
twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
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Someone asked Banta if he believed in smoking.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."
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Santa: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Banta: "No, who wrote it?"
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Santa: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
Santa: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing,
I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different
answer."
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What do you do when a Santa throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
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What do you do when a Santa throws a pin at you?
A: Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth
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How can you tell when Santa sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.
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Why can't Santa dial 911?
A: They can not find the eleven on the phone.
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"Oh, look at the dead bird."
A: Santa looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
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Biography of a Banta:
When God passed out looks,
I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.
When God passed out ears,
I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.
When God passed out legs,
I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.
When God passed out noses,
I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.
When God passed out heads,
I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.
When God passed out brains,
I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.
[/2]
The Best of Santa Banta [/4]
[2]
Banta going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is Banta doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the Banta stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do Santa Banta work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did Banta do when he noticed that someone had already written
on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you confuse Bana?
A: You don't. He is born that way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you keep Banta busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why can't Banta make ice cubes?
A:He always forgets the recipe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did Banta try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did Banta and his 17 friends go to a movie together?
A: Because it was wrtten outside the hall " Below18 not allowed" !!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between Banta and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does Banta say when you ask him if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.........
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call Banta and his 9 friends standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call Banta on a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you see when you look into a Banta's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or
twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone asked Banta if he believed in smoking.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Banta: "No, who wrote it?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
Santa: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing,
I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different
answer."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you do when a Santa throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you do when a Santa throws a pin at you?
A: Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell when Santa sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why can't Santa dial 911?
A: They can not find the eleven on the phone.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
A: Santa looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Biography of a Banta:
When God passed out looks,
I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.
When God passed out ears,
I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.
When God passed out legs,
I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.
When God passed out noses,
I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.
When God passed out heads,
I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.
When God passed out brains,
I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.
[/2]
