Saddam Hussein was sitting in his? office wondering whom to invade
next when his telephone? rang."Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily
accented voice said, "This is? Gurmukh from Banga, District
Hoshiarpur. I am ringing to? inform you that we are officially
declaring the war on you!"
"Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied,? "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Gurmukh, after? a moment's calculation, "there
is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my? next door neighbour Bhagat, and
the entire kabadi team from the? gurudwara. That makes eight"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you,? Gurmukh that I have one million
men in my army waiting to move on? my command."
"Arrey O! Main kya.. " said? Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day,? Gurmukh called again. "Mr. Hussein, it
is Gurmukh, I'm call ing from? Banga STD, the war is still
on! We have managed to acquire? some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that? be, Gurmukh?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a? donkey and Amrik's tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you,? Gurmukh, that I have 16,000
tanks and 14,000 armoured? personnel carriers. Also, I've
increased my army to 1-1/2? million since we last spoke."
"Oh teri ....." said Gurmukh.? "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again? the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still? on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne...... We've? modified Amrik's tractor by
adding a couple of shotguns,? sticking on some wings and the
pind's generator. Four school? pass boys from Malpur have
joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute? and then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you,? Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and
20,000 fighter planes. My? military complex is surro unded by
laser-guided, surface-to-air? missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to? TWO MILLION!"
"Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk,? "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Gurmukh called again? the next day. "Kiddan, Mr.
Hussein! I am sorry to tell you? that we have had to call off the
war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said? Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"
"Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all? had a long chat over
a couple of lassi's, and decided? there's no way we can feed two
million prisoners of wars!"
next when his telephone? rang."Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily
accented voice said, "This is? Gurmukh from Banga, District
Hoshiarpur. I am ringing to? inform you that we are officially
declaring the war on you!"
"Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied,? "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Gurmukh, after? a moment's calculation, "there
is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my? next door neighbour Bhagat, and
the entire kabadi team from the? gurudwara. That makes eight"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you,? Gurmukh that I have one million
men in my army waiting to move on? my command."
"Arrey O! Main kya.. " said? Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day,? Gurmukh called again. "Mr. Hussein, it
is Gurmukh, I'm call ing from? Banga STD, the war is still
on! We have managed to acquire? some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that? be, Gurmukh?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a? donkey and Amrik's tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you,? Gurmukh, that I have 16,000
tanks and 14,000 armoured? personnel carriers. Also, I've
increased my army to 1-1/2? million since we last spoke."
"Oh teri ....." said Gurmukh.? "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again? the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still? on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne...... We've? modified Amrik's tractor by
adding a couple of shotguns,? sticking on some wings and the
pind's generator. Four school? pass boys from Malpur have
joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute? and then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you,? Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and
20,000 fighter planes. My? military complex is surro unded by
laser-guided, surface-to-air? missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to? TWO MILLION!"
"Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk,? "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Gurmukh called again? the next day. "Kiddan, Mr.
Hussein! I am sorry to tell you? that we have had to call off the
war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said? Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"
"Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all? had a long chat over
a couple of lassi's, and decided? there's no way we can feed two
million prisoners of wars!"