captmanjeet
New member
“I am off this Friday to meet another…” said my friend. “What happened to the previous one? You said it looked positive…” I asked. “Well… her maternal aunty was a little too rude…” “Cmon. …you are marrying her not her maternal aunt!!!!!” We were discussing my friend’s saga of the “girl seeing ceremony”… J I remmeber that when one of our collegues onsite was explained about the ceremony he said “Why would go with a family to meet the girl?? Why does not the guy ask her out?” We couldn’t supress our laughter when he asked this. He remarked… “Then it is more a ‘family seeing ceremony’ ”.I couldn’t agree more.Even in this fast world of internet dating and virtual weddings, the age old custom is still practiced not just in villages but also in the so called ‘big cities’. A few interesting observations about the ceremony follow.
The girl is dressed-up to an extent that she could put a christmas tree to shame J. She will be sent to another room, away from where the prospective groom would arrive with his relatives(and friends at times). Of-course, they will arrive only at some auspicous time agreed upon by both the families. Then the families warm up to each other. This is where the girl’s parents will have their chance to “market” the soft skills of the girl.. “Look at this pot….my daughter painted it….She is very artistic…” J….so on and so forth. And after settling down, the guy’s parents will enquire about the girl. After some wispers in the girl’s family , the girl is ushered in. It is all well arranged. The girl serves the guy and his family with a drink and some snacks. Now if both the concerned families feel things can work….there will be casual remark made to the girl…”Why don’t you show him the house….” or “Why don’t both of you talk to each other is privacy….” This statement kind of marks the beginning of acceptance from both the families. This largely depends on both the families….because an aunt or uncle might spoil the whole show by trying to dominate the other party and hurting their ego. In such a case, obviously the girl or the guy’s familiy would say “we will discuss and get back to you” J. If this happens, more often than not, the girl and guy get prepared for their next ordeal.
this problem of so called swambers has been prevlent in our caste in particular i would appreciate comments from so called libearal Jats to pen down their view over the topic.
The girl is dressed-up to an extent that she could put a christmas tree to shame J. She will be sent to another room, away from where the prospective groom would arrive with his relatives(and friends at times). Of-course, they will arrive only at some auspicous time agreed upon by both the families. Then the families warm up to each other. This is where the girl’s parents will have their chance to “market” the soft skills of the girl.. “Look at this pot….my daughter painted it….She is very artistic…” J….so on and so forth. And after settling down, the guy’s parents will enquire about the girl. After some wispers in the girl’s family , the girl is ushered in. It is all well arranged. The girl serves the guy and his family with a drink and some snacks. Now if both the concerned families feel things can work….there will be casual remark made to the girl…”Why don’t you show him the house….” or “Why don’t both of you talk to each other is privacy….” This statement kind of marks the beginning of acceptance from both the families. This largely depends on both the families….because an aunt or uncle might spoil the whole show by trying to dominate the other party and hurting their ego. In such a case, obviously the girl or the guy’s familiy would say “we will discuss and get back to you” J. If this happens, more often than not, the girl and guy get prepared for their next ordeal.
this problem of so called swambers has been prevlent in our caste in particular i would appreciate comments from so called libearal Jats to pen down their view over the topic.