!!!! SHAME !!!!

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vinoddhaaka

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Friends I felt ashamed during my last visit to Delhi when I read on front page of TOI dated Nov.17,2002 a news item by Reshmi Sehgal.
The article mentioned some startling facts about young jat boys unable to get married within our community due to scarcity of girls. The practice of buying a tribal girl from distant lands for marriage has been reported. We can imagine the plight of these tribal girls acting as foster mothers of an essentially patriarchal community and may not be getting the respect which a bahu in a family deserves.The reason attributed by the auther of this article is the practice of female feoticide prevalent in jat majority areas. The authors report is based on evidence collected through village grapevine.

The author has ignored the prevalence of such practice in other castes and cummunities living in that area. But this fact should not make us loose focus of an important issue that stares in our face today. From my experience of travelling in areas where jats live in Haryana,UP,Rajasthan,MP,Punjab and J & K , I can vouch that problem is more in Haryana.

I feel there is a need for all of us first to fight this enemy within ourselves individually. For every one of us there is a need for active intervention to get rid our community from this evil. Its a long fight to wean away a class from such deep rooted prejudices.
Friend may I suggest here that all of us form a group in our respective villages,towns and discuss and find solutions to this problem by some innovative ways that jell with local social customs. May be all of us will have to go for extending collective security/guarantee to parents of all girls born in our areas. We can not wait for process of evolution initiated be very few enlightened ladies in our community to correct this social malaise. I shall like to repeat the acronym again here JAT for " just action for truth " Sikhs had initiated such action at social and religious level two years back when akal takht declared those indulging in female ifeaticide as "Tankahaiya"

Lastly My salute to all those enlghtened ladies in our community living in villages and towns who have opposed discrimination against girls in our families till now. Whatever we are it is because of all of them
 
dhaka saahab thik likhya aapnai...pr jato ke dimag mai girl ke mamle mai virus sai...ye sirf dahej ka karan na hai... ladki ko ijjat se jod ke dekhte hai.. to pahle hi soch le hai ke badi ho kai kimai unch neech ho jya..isnai paida hi kyu kro.. ye sochna aadmi ka hio nhi lugai ismai jyada aagai sai... beti ko janm den pai SASU bahu ko tanne mar sai... bete ko to Heera mannai sai ar beti nai NUksaan.... shayad ye isliye bhi hai ki zamidare koum hai ..bachche nhi khet ke liye mazdoor paida karne ki soch rakhti hai..man liya ki ladka jyada tough ho sai.. pr haqeeqat ulti hai.. jaton ki chhori din bhar chhora tai ghana kam karai sai...
 
Bhai verma..baki jat apne wichar kyukar badlainge...ye apne jatland members ka reaction dekh lyo!!!!! 40 se jyada LOG PADH CHUKE HAI PR ES GAMBHIR MAMLE PAI APNA VIEW CHHODANE KI BHI FURSHAT NA HAI.!!!!!IN PADHE LIKE BHAIYO AR LUGAIYO KO
 
Hi!

It was an fairly accurate, if unpleasant article... We can;t deny ther fact that the problem exists... and it will get worse as the current crop of kids grows up... Lets hope for the best!

If someone can post a link to the article, it would be great.

Nitin
 
Le bhai Nitin,
link tai yoh sai

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/html/uncomp/articleshow?art_id=27794003

Nitin Dahiya (Nov 28, 2002 02:47 p.m.):
Hi!

It was an fairly accurate, if unpleasant article... We can;t deny ther fact that the problem exists... and it will get worse as the current crop of kids grows up... Lets hope for the best!

If someone can post a link to the article, it would be great.

Nitin
Click to expand...
 
It’s a very sad direction we are going towards!

I think we should have an open debate on this, to overcome this problem

Malik saab u are totally right, we have to pay more attention on this kinds of problems.
 
Hi all,

first of my salute to vinod bhai to bring this topic for discussion!

Well I feel we need not only discuss it at site but also make it a point to let our less priviledged brotherns back in villages to come out of this evil....

In my view the root cause of this problem is ours being having inclination towards male childs....and I have seen most of the times its women who are against women!

right now with this talking off....will write more later....
 
I have read the article in paper as well the reaction of members.In my opinon, there are two issues.
One is the real problem as reported as it realy exists.
The second one is the media twist. Specialy the english media.
This problem is existing in all casts in Rural areas in northern India more prominantly in jats, rajputs, heers, rods, gujjars.But media reports will only talk about problem with jats. However , I am not saying this to shy away from the problem.It exists and it needs immediate solution. We few educated ones may not be able to bring immediate results. We all know how much attention we will get if we start preaching our folks on the issue. I feel we in our individual or collective capacity should attempt to awaken the elders in our society, politicians, smaj sewaks or women groups. A continous feedback to organisations like BKU, Jat Mahasabha, Govt. agencies about this problem may also help. In short "it needs a mass effort"
 
Dear all
This is the problem. The government know it but not doing much. BKU- JAT SAMAJ- ARYA SAMAJ all know about it. I have personal contact with many of the social workers- --
We have long discussion with SAWAMI INDERVESH JI. They are doing their best. but lack of trained social worker- lack of fund & lack of support from grass roots people. The movement not making much progress.
united we can win this battle.
 
One more devastating article. I think the problem is going to be bigger and bigger!
There has to be done something about it!
Any suggestions?

This is the link http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/xml/uncomp/articleshow?artid=30449146

or u can read it below

Indian sex imbalance grows as rich, poor want boys
Workers cleaning drains in a northern Indian town recently discovered two aborted female foetuses, a find that highlights the country's bias against girls.A few weeks later, a bag turned up in the same town of Alwar in Rajasthan containing a dozen female foetuses and dead baby girls police believe was dumped by a nursing home.The finds were stark evidence of the preference for boys over girls among many parents that has skewed the sex ratio in this country of more than a billion and been exploited by money-hungry doctors using ultrasound machines to detect the sex of foetuses."It's an unholy alliance of tradition and technology. Ultrasound was not meant for sex selection," said demographer Ashish Bose. "It's a quick way for greedy doctors to make money."The result of the quest for sons was clear in the 2001 census. From the ages of birth to six, there were 927 girls for 1,000 boys, down from 945 girls a decade earlier.But that national figure masked big local variations. In Punjab, for instance, there were 793 girls for 1,000 boys, down from 875 girls in 1991. The global ratio is about 1,005 females to 1,000 males.The country has had a long history of female infanticide -- of girls poisoned, suffocated, drowned or left to die.In the early 19th century, British Colonel Alexander Walker recorded his horror at seeing a mother drowning her newborn girl in a trough of milk in the western Gujarat region.But now abortion of female foetuses or "female foeticide" has become common with the easy availability of ultrasound sex tests.While such tests, costing as little as Rs 600, are illegal across India, the law is regularly flouted and clinics offering sex tests abound. Portable ultrasound machines mean the tests can be done even in remote areas."It's illegal but it's happening all over. It's available at an affordable price," New Delhi social worker Mira Shiva of the Voluntary Health Association said.The yearning for a son is deep-rooted social phenomenon."A lot of it is economically based. If you have children you're better off having boys because the sons will take care of you in your old age," Bose said.Daughters leave homeDaughters, on the other hand, leave home when they wed and a dowry -- that can range from $100 to a new car, jewellery, apartment or more -- can prove crippling for a family.Social activists say many who seek to find out the sex of their unborn child are poor, rural and illiterate.The prejudice against girls also stretches into urban centres such as the capital, New Delhi, where the census showed about 850 girls per 1,000 boys in some affluent neighbourhoods."Often a woman who gives birth to a daughter gets treated much worse than one who gives birth to a son," Shiva said."Some commit suicide they're so worried about how they'll be treated by their husband's family. The family may be educated, have money. This discrimination is across-the-board," she said."Girls are seen as a burden and the fact educated women are willing to abort their girls shows their social conditioning."Shiva says the government's push for two-child families to slow population growth has only worsened the situation."With the small family norm, many people want boys so they have abortions and keep trying when it's a girl," she said.In neighbouring China where there is a similar traditional preference for boys and a controversial one-child rule to keep the population down, there is also a big sex imbalance.Social workers in India say the trend will mean major social problems ahead and make it harder for young men to wed."People won't be able to find girls to marry for their sons. People in some places are already finding it hard. There will be more prostitution, social instability, wife buying," Shiva said.The government, alarmed by the number of "missing females", has introduced legislation to ban routine ultrasounds on women below the age of 35 but the measure still has to be passed.In Alwar, to tackle the problem, municipal officials have launched a poster drive with the message: "Killing a female foetus is a sin for which no-one can atone."Elsewhere, authorities have used other ways. In Tamil Nadu, for instance, authorities run a programme for parents of unwanted girls to leave them in cradles outside hospitals.At a public meeting in Salem in Tamil Nadu where officials say female infanticide is common, the programme chief was shocked when two mothers gave him their babies and showed no emotion.
 
Bhai Harvinder,
blaming women alone is not good. maybe seeing their own plight they do not want a girl child.
men are equally , rather more responsible.

with my experience of the marriage bureau we have started, we are coming across people(read men ) who when looking for match for their sons do not want girls with No brothers. they say --- aage rishtedaari kya reh jaayegi??
kyon Bhai , shaadi ke baad, behnon ka aapas mein rishta khatam ho jaata hai kya ???

and it is not just people from villages or uneducated who talk such , those so -called educated ones( with lots of Degrees ) have this mentality too.

please stop blaming women alone , you men too be brave enough to take some responsibility.

regards,
Bharti.
 
Dear Vinod,
Hey whats going on someone emailed me that you have hijacked my post on this subject with the same title. There are 2 disadvantages to this, lots of readers missout on the original communications and wind up repeating what others have said because they havent read it. Second, its not a very nice thing to do. Maybe you should ask Nitin to add all these to my original post on the subject. This is a very important topic and why should we lose out on more than half the views on this subject
Yours et
Amit
 
bebe bharti...koun blame kr rha hai...josh mai..tannai meri mail padhie na thik dhal...mannai kad kha ke men are not equally responsible!!!!!!!!
gambhir mamle mai tu lugaiyan ka zanda tha ri sai...!!! mai koi nyari team na bna rya is mamle mai.. dono barabar sai..pr lugai thoda jyada rh sai.. bahu ko sasu hi jyada kahti hai ke chhora chahiye.. ye to ground reality hai..na jachti ho to gaam mai jakai deka le ..
 
Dear Mr.Amit Dahiya
I have not gone through your write up but If it has happened it is purely co incidental. Facts and title could be same but perspectives may differ.
Good Luck
Amit Dahiya (Delhi) (Dec 08, 2002 09:58 a.m.):
Dear Vinod,
Hey whats going on someone emailed me that you have hijacked my post on this subject with the same title. There are 2 disadvantages to this, lots of readers missout on the original communications and wind up repeating what others have said because they havent read it. Second, its not a very nice thing to do. Maybe you should ask Nitin to add all these to my original post on the subject. This is a very important topic and why should we lose out on more than half the views on this subject
Yours et
Amit
Click to expand...
 
Very True Harvinder.....
I agree with you on this, if females take a pledge to stop this, I think the problem can be reduced enormously.
Aur waise bhi, jin Saason ko pota chaihye, unhe hi jyada probelm hogi, jab bahuin doosri jaat ki aayengi.

Vinod Kumar Dhaaka (Dec 12, 2002 01:02 a.m.):
Dear Mr.Amit Dahiya
I have not gone through your write up but If it has happened it is purely co incidental. Facts and title could be same but perspectives may differ.
Good Luck
Amit Dahiya (Delhi) (Dec 08, 2002 09:58 a.m.):
Dear Vinod,
Hey whats going on someone emailed me that you have hijacked my post on this subject with the same title. There are 2 disadvantages to this, lots of readers missout on the original communications and wind up repeating what others have said because they havent read it. Second, its not a very nice thing to do. Maybe you should ask Nitin to add all these to my original post on the subject. This is a very important topic and why should we lose out on more than half the views on this subject
Yours et
Amit
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
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