Share None Jat Jokes

Status
Not open for further replies.
Isme "Aaloo" ne 'Manmohan Singh' tae replace kar dyo toh contemporary ban jyaaga.... :) :)

vikda said:
‎3 chor Billu, John aur Santa,
police se chhup k 3 boriyon me ghus gaye.
police wala aya, usne pehli bori me laat mari,
Billu bola- BOW-BOW,
... police wala- kutta hai.
dusri bori me laat mari,
john bola-MIAUU.
Police wala- billi hai.
Teesri bori me laat mari,
koi awaz nai ayi.
Fir mari, koi awaz nai aye,
20-25 laat mari to andar se santa chillaya- abe haramkhor, AALOO hun AALOO, AALOO kabhi bolta haikya
Click to expand...
 
Man: I would like to buy some dog food?
Salesman: Do u have a dog??
Man: Yes
SM: Where?
Man: At Home.
SM: sorry i cant give u until i see the dog..our policy.
NEXT DAY
Man: do u have Cat food?
SM: Wher is ur cat?
Man: at home.
SM: Sorry cant give u, till i see it.
NEXT DAY
Man 2 SM:Hold this bag.
SM: wht is in it?
Man: Put ur hand In
SM: its warm & moist what is it?
Man: My S*H*I*T, I need toilet paper!
 
A Man & his Ever Nagging Wife were on a holiday trip in Jerusalem when the wife died suddenly.

The undertaker said it will cost $5,000 to ship her home or $50 to bury her here.

The husband said ship her home.

The undertaker said "but Sir y don't u bury her in the Holy Land & save d money?"

The husband said "A long, long, time ago a man called Jesus was buried here & 3 days later he rose from the dead...

I can't take that chance with this woman! ​
 
टीवी रिपोर्टर ने संता से पूछा: जब बम्ब गिरा तो क्या वो जोर से फटा?
ज़ख़्मी संता: नहीं नहीं मेरी माँ, वो रेंगता हुआ मेरे पास आया और शर्मा के बोला, `पाजी ठा……​
 
In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird's name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.​
 
# One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
J(ohnny):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
 
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
 
संता ऊंचे पहाड़ पर बैठकर पढ़ाई कर रहा था.

बंता (संता से)- क्या कर रहे हो?

संता- Higher Studies !!!!
 
अध्यापक: बेटा बताओ पारले जी के पैकेट पे जो `हरा डोट` बना होता है, उसका मतलब क्या है?

पप्पू: मैडम, इसका मतलब `पारले जी` ऑन-लाइन बैठे हैं!​
 
संताः तुझे पता है रजनीकांत की वेबसाइट बिना इंटरनेट के चलेगी

बंताः तो इसमें क्या बड़ी बात है, प्रधानमंत्री कब से बिना 'पॉवर' के आफिस चला रहे हैं।
 
In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird's name
Sardar:I dont know
Examiner: You are failed. What is your name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me :D :D :D
 
लड़काः जानेमन मेरे दिल में आजा।
लड़कीः चप्पल निकालूं क्या?
लड़काः पगली यह मंदिर नहीं मेरा दिल है ऐसे ही आजा।
 
Bos 2 scrtry: v r goin abroad 4 a metng.
scrtry- husband: i hav 2 go abroad 4 a metng nxt wk.
hsbnd-galfrnd: wif is goin away 4 a week, lets njoy:) :)
Galfrnd cals her studnt: 4 a wek no clas 4 u.
Litle boy cals his grndpa: I'm fre 4 tis week.
... Grandpa(Boss) cals his scrtry: tour cnceled. i'm wit my grndson ths wek.
scrtry cals her hsband: tour cnceled.
Hsbnd cals galfrnd: wif s not goin. so v too cnt go:(:(
galfrnd cals boy: ths wek clas as usual.
Boy cals grndpa: Sorry grndpa my clas is open:(
grndpa calls secrtry: we r going abroad...(2 b Continued)
Next episode coming nxt week:):)
(Directer ekkta Kkapoor)​
 
हमें ऐसा लड़का चाहिए

लड़की वाले: हमें ऐसा लड़का चाहिए जो कुछ खाता-पीता ना हो और गलत काम ना करता हो।

पंडित: ऐसा लड़का तो आपको हॉस्पिटल के आईसीयू में ही मिलेगा।
 
ऊपर वाले की मेहरबानी |

मरीज- डॉक्टर साहब, मुझे अजीब सी बीमारी हो गई है। जब मेरी बीवी कुछ बोलती है तो मुझे सुनाई नहीं देता।

डॉक्टर- यह बीमारी नहीं है भाई, तुम पर ऊपरवाला मेहरबान है।
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top