Share None Jat Jokes

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Biwi (Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimag Main Toh
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!

Husband (Pyar Se):
Toh Phir Itni Der Se Kha Kyon Rahi Ho................!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Baby mosquito came back after 1st time flying.............

His mom asked "How do you feel?"


He replied: It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!!!!!!
 
Ek be Kati patli si Bhugol ki madam,kardi hoi balkan ne padan lag ri.
Padha padhu ke aakher main Class te sawal puch liya.

Madam:- Batao baccho Dharti kaise Ghoomti hai

Class mai subte Aakhri bench pe bas ek balak haath tha ra...

Madam:- Shabaas beta batao..

balak:- Ji kime kha pi liya karo na te Ya nu ae Ghoomegi...
 
Perfect example of Govt. Organization working:
After the war, Hanumanji submitted his T.A. Bill for his official tour for collecting Sanjeevani Booti to Ayodhya administration.
Executive in accounts section raised 3 objections:
(1) Hanumanji did not take prior permission of the appropriate authority (Bharat), the King of Ayodhya, during the relevant time for his travel;
(2) Hanumanji being AM, was not entitled to air travel;
(3) Hanumanji was asked to bring Sanjeevani Booti, just a single plant, but he carried a whole mountain (unauthorized excess baggage).The clerk returned the bill. King Ram could do nothing except mark it down for reexamination. A worried Laxman approached the clerk and offered a bribe of 10% of the T.A. Bill amount.
The clerk now wrote on the Bill: "Reexamined: Even during the relevant time, Ram was the de-jure king through his Paduka.
Further in an emergency, non-entitled officers can be authorized ex-post facto to fly. Also excess baggage is justified as bringing a wrong plant would hv Resulted in multiple journeys with extra cost; hence bill may be paid
 
A kanjus Boy fell in LOVE wid kanjus Girl

Girl: Jab Dad so jyenge to mai gali
m SIKKA fekungi, awaz sunkr tum turant andr aa jana.

... ... Lekin Boy sikka fekne k 1 ghante baad aya.

Girl: Itni der kyo laga di?

Boy: Wo mai sikka DHUND rha tha.

Girl- pagal wo to"DHAGA BAANDH"k feka tha, wapas khich liya
 
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एक किसान अपने खेत पर टहल रहा था। उसने देखा कि एक अंग्रेज पानी से भरे छोटे गड्ढ़े का पानी पी रहा है।

किसान चिल्लाया - अरे बाबा! वो पानी मत पीना..., उसमें गाय और सुअर नहाते हैं।

अंग्रेज बोला - आई डोन्ट् नो हिंदी, स्पीक इन इंग्लिश... ब्लडी पुअर फार्मर...।

किसान अंग्रेजी में बोला - यूज दिस ग्लास सर, यू कैन ड्रिंक मोर।

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Hostel student to his frnd:- "yaar dhoka ho gya"

Frnd- kya ho gya?

studnt- "yar ghar se books k liye paise mangvaaye the,


gharwalo ne books hi bhej di....
 
Different Varieties Of Mummy.
Aalsi Mummy: “Ek Baat Tumhe Kitni Baar Batani Padti Hai”
Dhamkane Wali Mummy: “Aane Do Papa Ko Shikayat Karungi”
Itihas Pasand Mummy: “Jab Main Tumhari Umar Ki Thi To Ghar Ki Sari Jimedari Sambhalti Thi”
Bhavishya Batane Wali Mummy: “Mujhe Pata Tha, Ye Tootega”
Confused Mummy: “Main Insaan Hoon Ki Machine”
Selfish Mummy: “Lunch Mein Paratha Tumhare Liye Diya Tha, Ya Tumhare Doston Ke Liye”
Shakki Mummy: “10 Mein Se 10 No. Jaroor Tumne Cheating Ki Hogi”
Humari Mummy: “Is Computer Ko Tu Ab Chhod Raha Hai Ya Main Aag Lagadu“

 
Ek Ghar Ke Aage Faqeer Khada Hokar Bola
Faqeer: “Allah Ke Naam Pe Kuch De Do?”
Ghar Ke Andar Se Ladki Aayi Aur Boli.
Ladki: “Kuchh Nahi Hai Baba, Maaf Karo”
Faqeer: “Apna Mobile No. Hi De Do, Baba Dua Bhi Karega Aur Message Bhi“
 
Kid to his Mom: Mumma main kaise paida hua?
Mom: Maine ek vessel me mitti dal kr rakh di, kuch din baad usme seh tum mile mujhe..

kid did the same thing.
jub kuch din baad usne jaa kar dekha toh usme ek mendak tha...

kid: (gussey me) .. dil toh karta hain ki tujhe goli maar duh ... per kya karu... aulad hai tu meri..
 
Daadi ko BHAGWATGEETA ka path karte dekh,,,
Pota apni maa se bola,,,,
Maa daadi konse exam ki Tyari kr rhi h,,,
Maa: Beta ye "FINAL" ki tyari hai..........!...........@
 
Ek aadmi jungle mein apne saathiyon se alag hokar ghane jungle mein kho gaya. Itna ghana jungle ki suraj ki roshni tak andar nahi aa rahi thee...
Tabhi andhere jungle mein se nikal kar kai kaale rang ke habshi, chaku-bhale le kar uske saamne aa gaye. Usne dekha ki wo saari taraf se ghir chuka tha, aur bhagne ka koi rasta nahi tha!!! Dar kar rote hue usne kaha," Hay bhagwaan! Kati isse-tissi ho gayee, eeb main gaaya!!!"

Tabhi baadlon mein jor ki gad-gadahat hui, roshni si chamki, aur ek goonjtee awaaj sunai di...," Nahi baalak, abhi kuch nahi hua! Tere pairoon ke aage jo pathar pada hai, use utha, aur sabse aage khade us habshi ke, jo inka saradar hai, uske sar pe de maar!!!"...

Phir kya tha, us aadmi ne khush hokar jhat se pathar uthaya aur unke sardar ke sar pe de mara! Sardar whainee gir kar mar gaya...!

Baadlon mein whai awaaz phir se hui," Balak, eeb jake asli main issi-tissi ho gayee .....eeb gya tu!!!;)
 
Santa was inserting dog’s tail into pipe.
Banta : Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa : Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.
 
पप्पू की मां की तबियत अचानक खराब हो गई, उन्हें लेकर वह हॉस्पिटल पहुंचा |
डॉक्टर ने निरिक्षण के बाद कहा: - इनके टेस्ट होंगे |
पप्पू रो रो कर डॉक्टर से कहने लगा :- डाक्टर साहब, भगवान के लिए ऐसा मत कीजिए |
डॉक्टर:- टेस्ट के लिए तुम ऐसा क्यों कह रहे हो?
पप्पू :- डॉक्टर साहब, मेरी मां अनपढ़ हैं।
 
बॉस दफ्तर में किसी गलती के कारण कर्मचारी को डांट रहा था .......|
बॉस :- तुमने कभी मुर्ख देखे हैं ?
कर्मचारी (नीचे नजर झुकाते हुए) :- नहीं सर |
बॉस :- नीचे क्या देख रहे हो ? ..मेरी तरफ देखो ...
 
Ek pehalwaan ki tang neeli ho gayi,
Hakeem: zaher phail gaya hai katni
padegi,
3 din baad dusri bhi nili ho gayi,
Hakeem: ye bhi katni padegi zaher kafi

phail gaya hai, dono tang kaat k plastic
ki tang laga di,
8 din baad plastic ki tang bhi neeli ho
gayi,
Hakeem: Ab samajh me aaya,tumhari
DHOTI ka colour nikal raha hai,
Ghabrane ki koi baat nahi hai ....
 
Microsoft has named its two new softwares as....

"AFZAL" and "KASAB".

On being asked Why? Bill Gates explained:

"THESE WILL NEVER HANG"....!!!!:'


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Two Best advices for Good Life:

1) Always speak the truth, no matter how bitter or harsh it is.
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2) Run immediately after saying it.
 
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