sandeepsirohi
New member
Q: Why do women hate alcohol so much?
A: because after drinking it their mouse like husband become lions
A: because after drinking it their mouse like husband become lions
Share None Jat Jokes
- Thread starter nainsunil007
- Start date
- Status
sandeepsirohi
New member
Mast PJ
--------------------------
Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
.....
.....
.....
Keep Guessing......
.....
.....
.....
Chalo yaar....the answer is
"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai
------------------------------
--------------------------
Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
.....
.....
.....
Keep Guessing......
.....
.....
.....
Chalo yaar....the answer is
"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai
------------------------------
| ---------------------------------------------- -------- if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ? it means that the Cat is also going somewhere ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi........................................ sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????????????? rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- BRUCE LEE was a great man But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man... why? Because he became MAMU LEE! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------! --------------- santa and banta r discussing--------- santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!" Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- One day Ravan went to a disco......................... aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya................... kyun??????????????????? kyun?????????????? bcoz it was written on the gate than "entry fee Rs.1500 per head" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- who make Ganesh to Anesh...???? ThinK...... Think...... okay.... " KAILASH KHER " tere naam se " G " loon.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai. Kyon?????? Think............ Give up?? Coz... "Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se mango." |
sandeepsirohi
New member
sandeepsirohi
New member
आज में बहोत खुश स मेरा WPF का कोड आज १५ दिन बाद चल ही गया एस्सी बात पै ये लो :
एक्सीडेंट क बाद ड्राईवर गुस्से से संता से बोल्या :
अरे दीखता न क तनने में लाइट दिखा रा था की मन्ने पहले निकल जाण दे !
संता:
अरे मन्ने बी तो wipers चला क ना कर दी थी
एक्सीडेंट क बाद ड्राईवर गुस्से से संता से बोल्या :
अरे दीखता न क तनने में लाइट दिखा रा था की मन्ने पहले निकल जाण दे !
संता:
अरे मन्ने बी तो wipers चला क ना कर दी थी
vijaykajla1
New member
FROM FB-
मनमोहन:-मोसे न बोले मोरा मोहन..
सोनिया:-मन्नू को चुप रहने..मुह न खुलवाओ..मन्नू जो बोल पड़ा तो भेद खुल जाएगा...
ऍफ़.डी.आई:-घर आया मोरा परदेशी, प्यास बुझेगी ड्रेकुला की..
मोदी:-आज मैं ऊपर...ऊपर..ऊपर...
ममता:-उडी उडी..समर्थन ले उडी...मुड़ी मुड़ी मैं फैसले ले मुड़ी...
मुलायम:-इधर चला मैं उधर चला....
गडकरी:-मुझे खाने दो..
बाबा:-क्यों पैसा पैसा करती है...
राहुल बाबा:-मैं ऐसा क्यूं हूँ. मैं ऐसा क्यूं हूँ...???
दिग्गी:-डैडी मुझसे बोला तू गलती है मेरी..
लालू:-मेरी भैंस को अंडा क्यों मारा....
मनीष तिवारी:-सर से लेकर पाँव तक..पाँव से लेकर सर तक...सर से फिरसे पाँव तक...पांवो से फिर सर तक मुझे भ्रष्ट कहो मुझे भ्रष्ट कहो..
राज:-तू न आना इस देश मेरे लालू ..
प्रियंका:-FOOL(O-wl) का तारों का सबका कहना है... एक हजारो में मेरी बहना है....
कसाब:-साला मैं तो साहब बन गया...!!!!
मनमोहन:-मोसे न बोले मोरा मोहन..
सोनिया:-मन्नू को चुप रहने..मुह न खुलवाओ..मन्नू जो बोल पड़ा तो भेद खुल जाएगा...
ऍफ़.डी.आई:-घर आया मोरा परदेशी, प्यास बुझेगी ड्रेकुला की..
मोदी:-आज मैं ऊपर...ऊपर..ऊपर...
ममता:-उडी उडी..समर्थन ले उडी...मुड़ी मुड़ी मैं फैसले ले मुड़ी...
मुलायम:-इधर चला मैं उधर चला....
गडकरी:-मुझे खाने दो..
बाबा:-क्यों पैसा पैसा करती है...
राहुल बाबा:-मैं ऐसा क्यूं हूँ. मैं ऐसा क्यूं हूँ...???
दिग्गी:-डैडी मुझसे बोला तू गलती है मेरी..
लालू:-मेरी भैंस को अंडा क्यों मारा....
मनीष तिवारी:-सर से लेकर पाँव तक..पाँव से लेकर सर तक...सर से फिरसे पाँव तक...पांवो से फिर सर तक मुझे भ्रष्ट कहो मुझे भ्रष्ट कहो..
राज:-तू न आना इस देश मेरे लालू ..
प्रियंका:-FOOL(O-wl) का तारों का सबका कहना है... एक हजारो में मेरी बहना है....
कसाब:-साला मैं तो साहब बन गया...!!!!
Santa died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days a week that begin with `T', and
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Santa thought for a few minutes and
answered…
1 The two days that begin with `T' are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are twelve seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said,`OK, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow,
even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?'
Santa replied , `Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc…
Saint Peter let him in without another word.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days a week that begin with `T', and
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
Santa thought for a few minutes and
answered…
1 The two days that begin with `T' are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are twelve seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said,`OK, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow,
even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?'
Santa replied , `Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc…
Saint Peter let him in without another word.
J
jaatdesi
Guest
बबलू दफ्टर आया तो लंगडा रहा था, उसके दोस्त पप्पू ने देखा तो पूछा :- टांग को क्या हुआ ?
बबलू :-कुछ नहीं यार ज़रा टूट गयी है |
पप्पू :- कैसे टूट गई?
बबलू :- क्या बताऊं, कल जरा कम शराब पी इसलिए यह हाल है।
पप्पू :- कम शराब पीने से टांग कैसे टूटी?
बबलू :- यार, अगर ज्यादा पीता तो ठेके पर ही लुढ़क गया होता। कम पी इसलिए घर लौटते वक्त रास्ते में एक गड्ढे में गिर गया।
बबलू :-कुछ नहीं यार ज़रा टूट गयी है |
पप्पू :- कैसे टूट गई?
बबलू :- क्या बताऊं, कल जरा कम शराब पी इसलिए यह हाल है।
पप्पू :- कम शराब पीने से टांग कैसे टूटी?
बबलू :- यार, अगर ज्यादा पीता तो ठेके पर ही लुढ़क गया होता। कम पी इसलिए घर लौटते वक्त रास्ते में एक गड्ढे में गिर गया।
vijaykajla1
New member
एक बार मास्टर घुग्घू क्लास में आपणै सिर पै तै टोपी उतार कै बाळक्यां तै बोल्या-
'इस टोपी पै एक निबंध लिखो।
थोड़ी बार पाच्छै झंडू मास्टर तै पूच्छण लाग्या-
'मास्टरजी, 'मैली-·कुचैली मैं बड़ी ई की मात्रा लाग्गैगी अर छोटी ई की?
'इस टोपी पै एक निबंध लिखो।
थोड़ी बार पाच्छै झंडू मास्टर तै पूच्छण लाग्या-
'मास्टरजी, 'मैली-·कुचैली मैं बड़ी ई की मात्रा लाग्गैगी अर छोटी ई की?
Deadly Mistake
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir,I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this... somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulation on your new location.'''
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir,I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this... somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulation on your new location.'''
J
jaatdesi
Guest
Wrong email address:
A couple were going on vacation but the wife was on a business trip so husband reached to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, while typing her email address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell on the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the
screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
A couple were going on vacation but the wife was on a business trip so husband reached to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, while typing her email address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell on the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the
screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Prove that 2/10=2
Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus".
but
Engineering Students replied:
2=two,
10=ten.
therefore Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.
w=23,
o=15,
e=5,
n=14.
therefore
w+o=23+15=38 & e+n=5+14=19
Therefore wo/en=38/19=2.
Hence Proved
FOR, Engineers " It doesn't matter ans kya hai, they only need to know ans kya lana he."
Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus".
but
Engineering Students replied:
2=two,
10=ten.
therefore Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.
w=23,
o=15,
e=5,
n=14.
therefore
w+o=23+15=38 & e+n=5+14=19
Therefore wo/en=38/19=2.
Hence Proved
FOR, Engineers " It doesn't matter ans kya hai, they only need to know ans kya lana he."
Fully integrated ID card system in India
Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."
Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's he..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00"
Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. ."
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"
Customer: [Faints]
Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."
Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's he..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00"
Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. ."
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"
Customer: [Faints]
vijaykajla1
New member
1 PATHAN apni famly k sath
Jungle me rehta tha,
1 din usy Jngle se 1 Shesha mila,
Wo smja k us k bap ki Tsweer hy,
Wo usy apny Ghar ly gya Or us se
roz baten krne laga,
Uski Bivi ko Shak hua,
Aik din Shohar ki gair mojodgi me
us ne Shisha nikala or apna Aks
dekh kr boli?
Acha to ye hy wo Kaly mo wali,
jis se mra Shohar roz batein krta
hy,
Us ne Shisha apni Saas ko
dikhaya to Saas boli,
"Churail ki Umar dekho or
kartoot dekho...!
Jungle me rehta tha,
1 din usy Jngle se 1 Shesha mila,
Wo smja k us k bap ki Tsweer hy,
Wo usy apny Ghar ly gya Or us se
roz baten krne laga,
Uski Bivi ko Shak hua,
Aik din Shohar ki gair mojodgi me
us ne Shisha nikala or apna Aks
dekh kr boli?
Acha to ye hy wo Kaly mo wali,
jis se mra Shohar roz batein krta
hy,
Us ne Shisha apni Saas ko
dikhaya to Saas boli,
"Churail ki Umar dekho or
kartoot dekho...!
J
jaatdesi
Guest
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
Pirate : "What do you mean? I'm fine."
Bartender : "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
Pirate : "Well, We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
Bartender : "Oh Yeah, But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
Pirate : "Well, We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
Bartender : "Oh That's finer, What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
Pirate : "Well, One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
Bartender : "So, what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
Pirate : "Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
Pirate : "What do you mean? I'm fine."
Bartender : "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
Pirate : "Well, We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
Bartender : "Oh Yeah, But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
Pirate : "Well, We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
Bartender : "Oh That's finer, What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
Pirate : "Well, One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
Bartender : "So, what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
Pirate : "Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
rajpaldular
Active member
vijaykajla1
New member
bhai sahab haryanvi me Pension(निवृत्ति वेतन) ko pilsan kahte hai !!
- Status