The Dusk ~~

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Nice poem (jaat aur kavita dedly combination)




shwetadhaka said:
Thanks for liking my zest ! Anyways, this ab ab concept is Greek to me ! I never had literature as my subject and I cant write considering the syllables and metrical patterns etc, but I cant leave writing just because I am aint Wordsworth or Shakespeare ! Keep facilitating me dear..... who knows I may end up being a real Bard, courtesy my fellow Jatlanders like you who are so concerned and sweet ;) !
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rkumar said:
Don't know if its poetry or prose but this is what I wrote long back as a song;

Why do I always go to canteen to eat
because, there are sexy girls around my seat

I look at their faces, when they are smiling
those moments are very joyful and exciting
all the girls are realy so sweet.. thats why I go to canteen to eat.. ...1

Girls talk so gently, I can't even hear
and they stop talking when i am too near
this increases my heart beat...thats why I go to canteen to eat.......2

.........................................................

It was really fun singing this in parties during my student days at Aberdeen.

RK^2
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RK ji good one ... poori to likh dete ... aap bhi nire albadi balak rahe hoge apne time pe :)

Shweta ... ghana aasta likhya hai ... er itna astha se to aacha ee hoga ... good attempt ... lagi rahe ... ho sake se ye padh padh ke ee manne kime palle padan lag jya .... keep it up ... rock on ;) ha ha ... jitte le bhai teri ek cheej to seekh le manne ... nue likhe pache thoda istylish sa ho jya se reply .... :)

Lage raho ...
 
dkumars said:
arre ohhh oount:D ... samajh mei bhi aayi hai kemme ke uhvei likh diya way to go ??? :p

bhai aadei tei sun, moon chhod kei kemme nahi palle pada ...
bhai mukesh kitt sei ... mei ekla hi rasta bhatak kar iss thread par aa gaya ya tu bhi chakkar maar gaya aadhai ???
:
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hahahahahahaha... bhai aya tha maie bi lakin upar ki do line padh ke hi baagh liya tha maie to:) wesye aajkal jit roj 2 ghante moti wali dictionary ratya kare hai to kye bera kuch samaj maie ayi hogi..:D
 
jitendershooda said:
RK ji good one ... poori to likh dete ... aap bhi nire albadi balak rahe hoge apne time pe :)

Shweta ... ghana aasta likhya hai ... er itna astha se to aacha ee hoga ... good attempt ... lagi rahe ... ho sake se ye padh padh ke ee manne kime palle padan lag jya .... keep it up ... rock on ;) ha ha ... jitte le bhai teri ek cheej to seekh le manne ... nue likhe pache thoda istylish sa ho jya se reply .... :)

Lage raho ...
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Kitna rock karna hai ye bhi bata dete to mai thoda aaraaam kar leti...... :rolleyes: rock kar kar ke ghani thak gayi hu :) :p

BTW, ye 'aasta' ke hove sain....... :o
 
mukeshkumar007 said:
hahahahahahaha... bhai aya tha maie bi lakin upar ki do line padh ke hi baagh liya tha maie to:) wesye aajkal jit roj 2 ghante moti wali dictionary ratya kare hai to kye bera kuch samaj maie ayi hogi..:D
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Sahi hai boss... laga rehne de... ya Shweta bhi katti angrez bana kar chodegi katti

shwetadhaka said:
Kitna rock karna hai ye bhi bata dete to mai thoda aaraaam kar leti...... :rolleyes: rock kar kar ke ghani thak gayi hu :) :p

BTW, ye 'aasta' ke hove sain....... :o
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rock kyu mountain karo jiiii :p
 
dkumars said:
Sahi hai boss... laga rehne de... ya Shweta bhi katti angrez bana kar chodegi katti

rock kyu mountain karo jiiii :p
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Abhi tak to kisi ke angrez bananne ke koi saboot haath nahi lage hain :mad:...... lagtaa hai mujhe aur mehnat karni padegi...... mazil abhi door hai .....:rolleyes:
 
shwetadhaka said:
Abhi tak to kisi ke angrez bananne ke koi saboot haath nahi lage hain :mad:...... lagtaa hai mujhe aur mehnat karni padegi...... mazil abhi door hai .....:rolleyes:
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What do you mean by this ! :(

Pleas have a mercy upon us !! :(:(:o

We are trying our best to come up at this level. :rolleyes: It is just because of our efforts so far, that at lest we are able to understand few lines of your essays. :rolleyes::rolleyes:you can see !! :)

So please give us some time pleaseeeeeeeeee…..
 
mukeshkumar007 said:
What do you mean by this ! :(

Pleas have a mercy upon us !! :(:(:o

We are trying our best to come up at this level. :rolleyes: It is just because of our efforts so far, that at lest we are able to understand few lines of your essays. :rolleyes:you can see !!

So please give us some time pleaseeeeeeeeee…..[/quote]

Dont call it mercy, say clemency !! ;)

At lest kuch nahi hota bhai, last bolo :)

How can I 'see' that you are able understand ?:p

Ye kya ! Tum saaregaama ke anchor ki tarah time pleaseeeeeee kyo bol rahe ho......... Anchoring ki koshish hmmmm .... Jatland ka Anchor ....:rolleyes:
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mukeshkumar007 said:
What do you mean by this ! :(

Pleas have a mercy upon us !! :(:(:o

We are trying our best to come up at this level. :rolleyes: It is just because of our efforts so far, that at lest we are able to understand few lines of your essays. :rolleyes::rolleyes:you can see !! :)

So please give us some time pleaseeeeeeeeee…..
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Arre woh Mukesh ... tu toh angrezy likhan laagya bhai... sahi hai teri bhi aachhi progress hai :p
 
dkumars said:
Arre woh Mukesh ... tu toh angrezy likhan laagya bhai... sahi hai teri bhi aachhi progress hai :p
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yes brother... I have (have hi ayega na) started writing in english :D (sehi to likha hai na :rolleyes:) ...

lakin yar upar kuch line liki thi unme to kai jageh read gole laga diye:(:(....aisa to nai ki motivate kare..pure confidence ka naas kar diya :(:(
 
dkumars said:
Arre woh Mukesh ... tu toh angrezy likhan laagya bhai... sahi hai teri bhi aachhi progress hai :p
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mukeshkumar007 said:
yes brother... I have (have hi ayega na) started writing in english :D (sehi to likha hai na :rolleyes:) ...

lakin yar upar kuch line liki thi unme to kai jageh read gole laga diye:(....aisa to nai ki motivate kare..pure confidence ka naas kar diya :(
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Tam donuaane The Dusk ka satyanaash piit diyaa .. :eek::p:D
Saari thread mein off topic machaa rakhya se .. :mad:
 
Ye shaam .....

Ye shaam bhi badi ajeeb si hai
Haatho me doobte din ko liye
Aanchal me nayi raat ko chupaaye
Dabe paav roz aa jaati hai mere ghar..............

Ik din maine pucha aahista se
Ae shaam bata to jara tu aisi kyo hai
Kisi ko bujhe se din ke aant si lage hai
Kisi ko suhaani raat ka aarambh

Shaam kuch sakuchaai kuch itraai
Par usne na mujhe koi baat bataayi
Ik thandi hawa ka katoraa haath me liye
Wo ja baithi sust pedo ke pare

Mai kuch sochti si yu hi rahi khadi
Tabhi shaam ne suraj ko diya kai rango se bhar
Aur ja taanga use do pahaadiyo ke beech
Aur sooraj ne bhi kar li apni thaki si aankhen band

Saagar ki thandi lehron ko haath me liye
Wo itraati si udatti rahi yaha se waha
Chanchal si jara ithlaati thodi sharmaati si shaam
Aaj fir ja chupi raat ke aanchal me kahi

Ye shaam bhi badi ajeeb si hai
Haatho me doobte din ko liye
Aanchal me nayi raat ko chupaaye
Dabe paav roz aa jaati hai mere ghar..............
 
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