You have all probably heard "the rules" from the female side. Well, here are the rules from guys' perspective.
# 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
you leaving it down.
# 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
# 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
# 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
# 1. Crying is blackmail.
# 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it! We'll get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!
# 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
# 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question. Please pick one.
# 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
# 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a
doctor.
# 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as
you hear it.
# 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
# 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us act like soap opera guys.
# 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
refuse to answer, but still love you.
# 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
# 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
# 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we
# 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
# 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what Mauve is.
# 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
# 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
# 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
# 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really, you look fine!!!
# 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
# 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
# 1. I AM in shape.
# 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
camping.
# 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
you leaving it down.
# 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
# 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
# 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
# 1. Crying is blackmail.
# 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it! We'll get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!
# 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
# 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question. Please pick one.
# 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
# 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a
doctor.
# 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as
you hear it.
# 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
# 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us act like soap opera guys.
# 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
refuse to answer, but still love you.
# 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
# 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
# 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we
# 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
# 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what Mauve is.
# 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
# 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
#1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
# 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
# 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really, you look fine!!!
# 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
# 1. NASCAR is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
# 1. I AM in shape.
# 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
camping.
