We Are Here For Just One Bedroom Flat ?

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nishantrathi82

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WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in
Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the
land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it
was as if a dream had come true.


Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I
would be staying in this country for about Five years in which
time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirem ent,
the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.


I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling
homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and
speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone
cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and
pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have
only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.
Wa s jubilant and was actua lly enjoying hopping for gifts for
all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be
talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through
all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
shorter I was forced to select one candidate..


In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get
married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After
the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some
money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after
them, we returned to USA.


My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she
started feelin g lonely. The frequency of calling India
increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our
savings started diminishing.
After two more years we started to
have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us
by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked
me to come to Indiaso that they can see their grand-children.


Every year I decide to go to Indiaâ?¦ But part work part
monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting
Indiawas a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a
message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India... The
next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there
was no one to do the last rights the society members had done
whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed
away without seeing their grand children.


After couple more years passed away, much to my children's
dislike and my wife's joy we returned to Indiato settle down.
I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my
savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
all these years. I had to return to the USA....


My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to
stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USAafter
promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an
American and my son was happy living in USA ... I decided that
had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India ... I
had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a
well-developed locality.


Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is
for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife
has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes
I wondered was it worth all this?
My father, even after staying in India,
Had a ho use to his name and I too have
the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.
This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these
children are losing their values and culture because of it. I
get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well
at least they remember me.


Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will
be performing my last rights, God Bless them.
But the question
still
remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer.................!!!
START THINKING
IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???
LIFE IS BEYOND THIS ...DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ....
START LIVING IT .ENJOY MAXIMUM.....
 
Very good thinking. Thought provoking .Life is just becoming like a rat race.And we are just running blindly,without realising in which direction we are going.
 
There are many stories of success and failure. You have to make your own decision in life. My friend, if you want to climb ladders of success in life then you have to loose some thing. What you want to loose and what you do not want to loose is again your own decision.
I do not think it is good to read such touching negative stories because it never helps you in taking a right decision. These are purely my personal comments and people may differ from it.
 
ygulia said:
There are many stories of success and failure. You have to make your own decision in life. My friend, if you want to climb ladders of success in life then you have to loose some thing. What you want to loose and what you do not want to loose is again your own decision.
I do not think it is good to read such touching negative stories because it never helps you in taking a right decision. These are purely my personal comments and people may differ from it.
Click to expand...

I know there r many more such type of stories but still i thought if have to earn money on the cost of my parents or family ,then i never want that kind of money. May b u r saying that becoz u r already away don't mind it its personal thinking.
 
very rightly said i would like to support the thought line........
"For life is just employer,
It gives you what you ask...........:)
ygulia said:
There are many stories of success and failure. You have to make your own decision in life. My friend, if you want to climb ladders of success in life then you have to loose some thing. What you want to loose and what you do not want to loose is again your own decision.
I do not think it is good to read such touching negative stories because it never helps you in taking a right decision. These are purely my personal comments and people may differ from it.
Click to expand...
 
different but .......

i think each individual has its own decision .....

u have to decide where u would be happy... parents brother sister or any body is just another indivdual ...

parents decided that they r happy in india so they have stayed back and enjoyed their life ..
u decided that u r happy in america or any other place then u do that

mere presence at the time of funeral doesnt make the happy life of alll

whats the use of living the whole life together when parents sometime say bhai roye kimme karta kyona .. mhaara khoon kyon kha raha se...

for example my brother came back from india after 4 months of staying india just 2 week back and now he wants to go again to india for 2 weeks to attend his freinds marriage ... i am no one to say why is he doing that .. he is enjoying his life and he shd do what he think is right ...

so every body shd in the family enjoy each moment .. the thing matters is that u tried in coming at the funeral at ur best if ithat worked then its good .. if not that shd not lead to ur unhappiness

same is the case of helping ur relatives or closed one ... u try ur best in helping all the closed one ... if it works then its good if it didnt then also its good .. the thing that matters is u tried ur level best


regarding buying flat or any thing ... its a combination of the money u having at the moment when opprtunity is there ... some time money is there but opportunity is not .. some time opportunity is there but no money ... and some time when both r there then there the thing is known as luck .....for example we had huda plot in bahadurgarh sec 9 a corner plot 55o gaj ... we kept it for 4 - 5 yrs i think so and for a small period we neeeded 5 6 lakhs so we sold it ... and then just after 6 months ..the rates shooted .. so in all KEEP TAKING DECISION .. sometime it works some time not ....


try to utilize each moment in a best way .. never waste time ... enjoy each moent with it .. if god gives then its ok ... if it didnt then try to maintain the level of hard work .. mere meeting aat a single moment
doesnt change the moment u have lived


ENJOYYY.. DO WHAT U LIKE ... LET UR PARENTS DO WHAT THEY LIKE .. IF U FEEL U R HAPPY WITH PARENTS THEN LIVE WITH THEM ...

FOR A HARD WORKING PPPLL OPPORTUNITIES ARE CREATED WHEREVER HE LIVES ....

ITS MY OPINION AND I AM NOT GENERALIZING OR SAYING ITS RIGHT
 
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nishantrathi82 said:
I know there r many more such type of stories but still i thought if have to earn money on the cost of my parents or family ,then i never want that kind of money. May b u r saying that becoz u r already away don't mind it its personal thinking.
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No body would like to make money at the cost of parents. I am not away from my parents. Every year I go back home and stays there for 6 weeks and enjoy the life. My parents have visted my place too and every weeek I talk to them for long hours over the phone. I can fly back home even at a short notice and it takes only 24 hours. If you are in any other part of the country(India) and travel by train then it takes more time to reach home.
In the begining, I wrote clearly that it is my personal comments.
 
dndeswal said:
.
I had written a similar piece earlier. See thread:

The dilemma of ABCD (American-Born Confused Desi)


.
Click to expand...

Deswal ji ye baat un loge ke saath hoti hai........................
Jo log waqt ke saath saath apni Idendity kho dete hai.............
Agar apni Idendity ko bana ke rakho to kucch nahi hota.......
Mene aaj tak apne office me Yoginder ki jagah kisi ko yogi kahne ki ijjajat nahi di.......jab bhi kisi ne koshis ki mene wahi pe rok diya aur apni narazgi zahir ki.............Mujhe 9 saal ho gaye yaha aaye hue sab yoginder ke naam se hi jaante hai..............
Mera appna jo bhi culture India me tha wo aaj bhi wahi hai..........
 
Question raised in above thread is merely not related with the one who is living abroad or in one's own beloved country.Main question is related with happiness.The more you chase it, more it will run away.In the pursuit of happiness no one infact is happy and when we achieve that object where we attach our happiness we find that worthless and seek something different.Happiness is not relative, we, our thoughts and preferences are relative.It changes in a whim.

Yoginder is quite right about his self-respect because he put more value in qualities which are not relative with time and place.That is why it is very much important to know the basic roots of one's.Happiness cant be find anywhere it is created in simple things; empty and weak people attach it with physical objects and in people which themselves are empty.Seeking permanance in every moment changing world is itself a grand illusion.

Like Naveen said,Even parents do not prefer their young children to stay with them and sit idle. They are more delighted in watching us successful in whatever we are achieving on our own.But unlikely I wud say, Do What you THINK is right instead of feeling.Feeling changes insantatly and probably the reason of Deshwal ji's stated identity crisis.Yet I would say one is born alone and would die alone, So I very much believe in Krishan ji's statement at battle scene which also is the punch of Rajputana rifles- Veer Bhogya Vasundhara.Veer purush hi dharti ke saare sukh bhogte hain.
 
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This seems like a cooked up story.
Why are we Indians so melodramatic?
If this story has any truth to it, nobody asked that man to stay abroad. He did what he thought was right at that time. Why is he whining now? Our people are never satisfied, always whining. Don't blame the circumstances, take responsibilty for your actions - you will be happier. Chill out !!
 
I would like to share my experience here. I am not software professional or any other professional. I just hold a master's(M.Sc.) degree in Statistics and a degree in Law. I had to struggle here in this country despite being a landed immigrant. I was working in Government of India as class I officer before migrating to Canada. I was advised by every one that life is too hard there. They advised me it is better not to go there because I never worked in private sector. My father supported me and he said that I know you can survive there, so give it a chance. I worked hard and never felt shortage of money and even got the federal government job in four years which is considered even better than private sector. I admit that it was not a cake walk. One thing I learned here is that one must beleive in dignity of labour. I got the confidence here that I can survive in any environment. If you have the guts and determination then no body can stop you. Never repent on your decision because decision may be right at the time you took it and circumstances may change later on which might be beyond your control.
 
As they say 'money and love' can take u anywhere in the world

I say 'money can be made anywhere , think about the rest'
 
sidchhikara said:
This seems like a cooked up story.
Why are we Indians so melodramatic?
If this story has any truth to it, nobody asked that man to stay abroad. He did what he thought was right at that time. Why is he whining now? Our people are never satisfied, always whining. Don't blame the circumstances, take responsibilty for your actions - you will be happier. Chill out !!
Click to expand...

Kati sahi.
Sab faaltoo ki stories. Cooked up stories in the first place.
But Bakwas even if true.

Live your life the way you see fit and stop looking in the rear view mirror.
We always make the best decisions at the time they are made. Seedhi si baat. Baad mein ron-dhon aale sab foodo hain.
 
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