Why Our Female Members Don't Assert?

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devdahiya

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It is observed with concern that female members of jatland do not participate actively in the discussions. There can be a few reasons for their not doing so and they can be as under:

1] They don't have enough confidence in themselves.
2] They find all discussions stale.
3] Reserve nature.
4] They still find themselves mentally tied down.
5] It is below their dignity.
6] What's the use banging one's head against the wall?
7] They are not given a fair deal
8] People misbehave.
9] They don't find it interesting.
10] They suffer from a complex.


PLEASE DON'T GET BEHIND ME FOR THESE OBSERVATION AS THEY ARE JUST POINTS TO PONDER AND NOT AN ASPERSION AS I WANT THEM TO PARTICIPATE ACTIVELY.......FEEL FREE TO OPINE PLEASE.
 
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May be they believe in action....

Dahiya Saheb,

Very rightly pointed out. In my opinion there is a particular trend that repeats itself in any community website/podium of this nature. Issues are discussed and forgotten. Solutions are found and they remain on paper. After a while the same issues are repeated and discussed. One reason could be that new members don't go through the archives to educate themselves about topics discussed. I too had not done so when I joined almost two years back.

I also believe that all members here are educated enough to know what ails the community and probably know how to solve most of the problems too.

On the lighter side, may be the female members are busier than their male counterparts. May be they truly are making a positive contribution rather than discussing. I always believe that our JATNIS are much smarter than what we think. And sometimes we surely do put them off by our ungentlemanly behavior.

I only hope they are not bored!!!

Regards,

JS Malik
 
devdahiya said:
It is observed with concern that female members of jatland do not take participate actively in the discussions. There can be a few reasons for their not doing so and they can be as under:

1] They don't have enough confidence in themselves.
2] They find all discussions stale.
3] Reserve nature.
4] They still find themselves mentally tied down.
5] It is below their dignity.
6] What's the use banging one's head against the wall?
7] They are not given a fair deal
8] People misbehave.
9] They don't find it interesting.
10] They suffer from a complex.


PLEASE DON'T GET BEHIND ME FOR THESE OBSERVATION AS THEY ARE JUST POINTS TO PONDER AND NOT AN ASPERSION AS I WANT THEM TO PARTICIPATE ACTIVELY.......FEEL FREE TO OPINE PLEASE.
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There were quite a few active lady members apart from Sujata ji. My personal obeservation has been that most of them have been shouted out. I am not here to audit as to who all contribued in that name shouting...Damage done once takes lot of time to repair..Members have been incapable of engaging our lady members intelligently. So in my opinion, point number 8 mentioned above is the root cause of their not showing up here. Also there are too many people here who advise these highly educated well travelled lady members on the code of conduct when they can not engage them in talks.

RK^2
 
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No Quick Fix

jagmohan said:
Dahiya Saheb,

Very rightly pointed out. In my opinion there is a particular trend that repeats itself in any community website/podium of this nature. Issues are discussed and forgotten. Solutions are found and they remain on paper. After a while the same issues are repeated and discussed. One reason could be that new members don't go through the archives to educate themselves about topics discussed. I too had not done so when I joined almost two years back.

I also believe that all members here are educated enough to know what ails the community and probably know how to solve most of the problems too.

On the lighter side, may be the female members are busier than their male counterparts. May be they truly are making a positive contribution rather than discussing. I always believe that our JATNIS are much smarter than what we think. And sometimes we surely do put them off by our ungentlemanly behavior.

I only hope they are not bored!!!

Regards,

JS Malik
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Dear Malik Sir,


Regarding solutions to the problem,way is not easy but saying somthing here has a different kind of benefit and that is to spread awareness. Frankly speaking i benefit greatly by various posts and threads presented by worthy members and hence will request you not to condemn the usefulness of discussions.Someone out of us will come out to attend to the problems also and mind you these discussions will help motivate people in that direction.NO QUICK FIX SOLUTIONS ARE EVER AVAILABLE TO VARIOUS PROBLEMS. As regards to the thread, i would like to hear from the affected party itself and if it is basically because of some of us and our behavier that they don't participate in discussion then we must take recourse and should do every thing to make them comfortable.


Warm regards
 
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rkumar said:
So in my opinion point number 8 mentioned above is the root cause of their not showing up here.

RK^2
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I not agree with you. As I think in this site all members are nice gentleman and none is beleive in such kind of silly act.
In my views due to point 9 they may not participate in discuss.

But whatever reason may be behind it, I think they should participate in all kind of discussion here.
 
mukesh_kumar007 said:
I not agree with you. As I think in this site all members are nice gentleman and none is beleive in such kind of silly act.
In my views due to point 9 they may not participate in discuss.

But whatever reason may be behind it, I think they should participate in all kind of discussion here.
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Ask the lady members and you will know the answer if I am right or wrong..There have been endless demands to remove at least two of them from the membership..I know the third one who posted one article about insurance and how she was shouted by people of all sorts.

RK^2
 
You Misunderstood....

devdahiya said:
Regarding solutions to the problem,way is not easy but saying somthing here has a different kind of benefit and that is to spread awareness. Frankly speaking i benefit greatly by various posts and threads presented by worthy members and hence will request you not to condemn the usefulness of discussions.Someone out of us will come out to attend to the problems also and mind you these discussions will help motivate people in that direction.NO QUICK FIX SOLUTIONS ARE EVER AVAILABLE TO VARIOUS PROBLEMS.
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Dahiya Saheb,

You misunderstood. I have no where mentioned in my post as to why is this being discussed or condemned the usefulness of any discussion? I am fully aware that we are a free society and each one of us has equal rights. I only made a general comment, relevant to the topic, on why people tend to react the way they do.

Believe you me, I shall be the happiest person on this Earth when problems of even one JAT are addressed and his burden lessened. And if any member amongst us gets motivated by the views, comments, thoughts and feelings or another member, well the website would have achieved aim plus. There can be no greater good.

I agree that some of the female members are put off by our reactions to their posts. How to bring them back is the question? I am sure enlightened members will throw some light.

Regards,

JS Malik
 
Maryadayen To Udhar Se Bhi Toddi Gai Thi Sir

rkumar said:
Ask the lady members and you will know the answer if I am right or wrong..There have been endless demands to remove at least two of them from the membership..I know the third one who posted one article about insurance and how she was shouted by people of all sorts.

RK^2
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Rajendra sir ji,

I know it is bad to ask for the removal of a member be it male or female. But in above instances except the last one you mentioned[ who i believe and feel was un-necessarily ticked off by someone but then there were so many members who appreciated her a lot.........a little over reaction from her too please] Two members were relentlessly enthusiastic in proving everything wrong as right and had taken a line of NUMERO UNO and hence somthing was called for.In one of the cases it was me who asked for removal of one of the members but trust me i did so when nonesense was beyond tolerance. Encouragement is one thing[which i strongly believe in] but GIVING LONG ROPE IS ANOTHER ONE. The way this member behaved,it was even difficult to assertain whether the member in question was a male or female in disguise. We should advocate JUST things i believe and not on the basis of gender. I think we definitely understand the sensibilities attached to worthy female members and i not only respect them from the bottom of my heart but is genuinely concerned about their wellbeing but then licence of indecency can niether be given to X or Y. Let us give them level playing field and not the shelter of unwanted and undesired sympathy. Please don't feel bad if you don't like any phrase or line as there is nothing personal about it.

With due respect

DEV
 
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devdahiya said:
Rajendra sir ji,

In one of the cases it was me who asked for removal of one of the members but trust me i did so when nonesense was beyond tolerance.
DEV
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I wonder if we would apply the same logic to our son or daughter in the house ? We never kick them out of house even if they become intolerable. Jatland is like a home to everyone. I am not preaching here, however, would expect that We engage even the so called intolerable persons. My experience has been that it does not take lots of efforts to bring them in main stream.

RK^2
 
Atleast Censure Or Some Fear

rkumar said:
I wonder if we would apply the same logic to our son or daughter in the house ? We never kick them out of house even if they become intolerable. Jatland is like a home to everyone. I am not preaching here, however, would expect that We engage even the so called intolerable persons. My experience has been that it does not take lots of efforts to bring them in main stream.

RK^2
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RAJENDRA JI, point well taken but if our daughter or son don't behave won't we censure or punish them towards their good and for the good of the family or we keep them on a licence of nuisance. I beg to differ sir.
 
devdahiya said:
RAJENDRA JI, point well taken but if our daughter or son don't behave won't we censure or punish them towards their good and for the good of the family or we keep them on a licence of nuisance. I beg to differ sir.
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Punishment ? well I suppose that should be in proportion to the crime and not like death penality.. Terminating membership or asking for its termination is almost like death penality. I also had my share of facing hostile members at times because of my views on certain issues. In my view the best would be that we put up with such members.. Anyway, this is a very subjective issue and this is how I feel. I am sure we all have different views on such matters.

Rajendra
 
I wish to draw members attention to the following post of a lady member

http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5441&highlight=sonali

This was a very honest post by the member who wanted to have a discussion of the topic. Just read what turn was given to this post around 7-9th response... and then read the 18th post... May I ask the elated members as to why no one questioned the quality of language used in that post? How come language becomes such an important issue when it comes to a lady member?

High time we introspect ourselves vice verse our attitude towards lady members..

Rajendra
 
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Seen Sir Ji

rkumar said:
I wish to draw members attention to the following post of a lady member

http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5441&highlight=sonali

This was a very honest post by the member who wanted to have a discussion of the topic. Just read what turn was given to this post around 7-9th response... and then read the 18th post... May I ask the elated members as to why no one questioned the quality of language used in that post? How come language becomes such an important issue when it comes to a lady member?

High time we introspect ourselves vice verse our attitude towards lady members..

Rajendra
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My dear Rajendraji,

First of all let me tell you that Sonali is a competent and learned member and if i go by her standards of putting across a thing then i am sure she hardly needs any kinda blessings or support from other members as i find her self reliant and confident enough. Infact i would like to go a step forward and say that we should learn somthing from her and not other way around. I have not seen a crib from Sonali in any of her post that she is not treated well because she has gone tit for tat and that's a correct approach.And if she has not requested anyone of us to advocate her cause then why are we doing that? Infact problem lies here.The tendency to feel that female members need our protection or advocacy in putting across their side of the story then we are surely trying to do what is supposed to be done by the horse itself. Trust you me that they have their head on firm shoulders and are capable of shaking our notions the way we want them to be sorted out. We by doing all this are denying them the right to defend themselves. I would like to maintain a silent in respect to this thread hereafter as i have spoken enough. So all yours Rajendra ji as you are elder to me in age and wiser in all respects.

with due regards and respect

dev
 
devdahiya said:
I would like to maintain a silent in respect to this thread hereafter as i have spoken enough. So all yours Rajendra ji as you are elder to me in age and wiser in all respects.

dev
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Dear Sir,

You took the floor and invited our views. I posted my views as honestly as I could think and feel. I had my say on this topic many times on many threads and often more than my share. Since you started the thread and came out with many possibilities as to why lady members do not show on the site. I suppose you now owe to the members to conclude your observations. You have heard the views of all those who wanted to say something..

RK^2
 
I Meant Something Else

rkumar said:
Dear Sir,

You took the floor and invited our views. I posted my views as honestly as I could think and feel. I had my say on this topic many times on many threads and often more than my share. Since you started the thread and came out with many possibilities as to why lady members do not show on the site. I suppose you now owe to the members to conclude your observations. You have heard the views of all those who wanted to say something..

RK^2
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Rajendra sir ji,

When i said that i won't say anything towards this thread, what i meant by that was............THAT LET OTHERS SAY SOMTHING NOW AND NOT THAT I AM EXHAUSTED OR FRUSTRATED. Dear sir RAAT ABHI BAAKI HAI................BAAT BHI BAAKI HAI. I WILL HONOURABLY CONCLUDE IT AT APPROPRIATE TIME............PROMISE SIR!


RAM-RAM
 
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