Women empowerment Solution or Problem?

[sudeepdular]

Dear Vineeta Bahan,

I would like to give you an real life example. Its about one of my friend's bua!!! They are bengali and living in Kolkata. Let me call the lady (Bua) as Miss X.

Miss X married a guy named Mr Y. Miss X was given the freedom to choose her life partner by her parents so he chose Mr Y. Miss X was working in a BPO while Mr Y was having own business of Taxis and Trucks. In the intial stage of their marriage (2 years) everything was fine but after that somehow Mr Y's business started going down. So basically now Miss X is the sole earner of the household. Though Mr Y had got so much money that for next 10-20 years nobody has to earn for them. But Miss X wanted to do job and her husband gladly accepted it. After sometime she started coming late and when her husband asked her she always told that because of her office work she came late.

After sometime she started coming late and that too drunk. This started fight between them. In the mean time they had a baby and the husband took care of him. (Though he was also trying to take his business back on track). After that Miss X started coming late night or not at all to her home. If somebody (husband or in-laws) asked any questions she started abusing them and saying "Main kamati hun, jo marzi karun, tum kaun ho bolne wale". After sometime husband got to know she was having an affair somewhere else. He tried his level best to get back her but in vain. I know the last part because I know both of them personally and the husband called me to talk to Miss X. But Miss X kept on saying that she wanted a divorce and she dont want the child either. Now they are fighting the case in court.

This example shows that you can not blame only men for a broken relation. Sometimes women are equally responsible. Its not only yours but 95% of world's mentality that if something goes wrong in life its only because of men. Please have an open mind here. Taali 1 haath se nai bajti n aaj ke zamane mein to bilkul nai.

To be cont....

She is not to blame at all....its her choice to live the life elsewhere if she has found her husband incompetent.....that love has lost its charm....you don’t speak up against men’s who has two wives.....and poke their nose elsewhere....if Mr. Y has guts kick that Ms X out from his life....and search elsewhere.... Compromise (widely misused) is a nice word if there is a slight possibility to revive a lost love....

 

[annch]

Sudeep,
If you have a grievance against a person, it would be nice if you could voice it without resorting to the very thing you have a grievance against.
Don't you think we can credit you with much better thoughts and words than the ones in this post? You are definitely not an imbecile.

To say the least…I didn't expect such a mediocre (स्तरहीन) reply from you....highly noninflammable...

Mr. Dalal can you throw some dim light (0 watt) when, where, how should I reply...

Or should I restrict myself to reply only those quotes which directs at me…..
You must be knowing this is a public site I am free to choose any post, anybody’s quote whosoever I find to be replied. It seems u never reply to any post here unless it’s direct at you…

Now don’t act like a 16 year old juvenile who runs after mommy for each n everything….mods are not devoid of senses….they knows their roles…

We used to have bullies assistant in schools where bully says to his lullu to fetch something and he fetch ….when he says throw some fire crackers in opp. Camps...he throws & run away…& when someone beat that Lullu…he cries…

I have noticed several times u just fuel the discussion Unnecessarily by your indirect derogatory remarks & run away quietly, then become mute spectator. The best characteristic of Lullu...

Poor Lullu…:tamatar

 

[sudeepdular]

Sudeep,
If you have a grievance against a person, it would be nice if you could voice it without resorting to the very thing you have a grievance against.
Don't you think we can credit you with much better thoughts and words that the ones in this post? You are definitely not an imbecile.

I believe you are not imbecile too.... How many times have you noticed NOT SO BETTER words in others posts.....just because the person against him i wrote something in my own way included in your friends list boost ur impulse to write in his favor......ohh poor Lullu has got his bully lady friend coming out in his support.....appreciated your concern lady (समाज सुधारक).....

Now you brand me imbecile i will have the last laugh....Jurman mambo jumbo....

 

[annch]

My friend does not need my support. Its his decency that stops him from replying to the post or reverting in the same tone as yours.
Still, you are welcome to your opinion.

I believe you are not imbecile too.... How many times have you noticed NOT SO BETTER words in others posts.....just because the person against him i wrote something in my own way included in your friends list boost ur impulse to write in his favor......ohh poor Lullu has got his bully lady friend coming out in his support.....appreciated your concern lady.....

Now you brand me imbecile i will have the last laugh....Jurman mambo jumbo....

 

[sudeepdular]

My friend does not need my support. Its his decency that stops him from replying to the post or reverting in the same tone as yours.
Still, you are welcome to your opinion.

भय बिन प्रीत नहीं.....I didn't see him so much decent in past. Where he replied to our fellow lady member’s quote with frowning face....good, now he is decent....though i have no grudge against him.....he is as nice as others...jst that how one behave a particular given point of time...

No reservation
....

 

[annch]

Sudeep, this thread is about Women empowerment. We must give credit to the lady in question to handle reply in her own way if she had found anything objectionable.
If two wrongs can make a right, then as you please...
Take care

भय बिन प्रीत नहीं.....I didn't see him so much decent in past. Where he replied to our fellow lady member’s quote with frowning face....good, now he is decent....though i have no grudge against him.....he is as nice as others...jst that how one behave a particular given point of time...

No reservation
....

 

[yudhvirmor]

I may be very late to comments on this now.. I personally feel that enequality and imbalance are necessary for all societeis. If Men will start doing everything or Women will start managing all its affairs then we may not need each other..

I think concept of interdependence must stay.. Its like give and take though not with a perfect harmony..
I can give numerous examples where couples with same callibere often ended with divorce..
Woman empowerement is right but what matters is what effect it has on social strucutre..

 

[sudeepdular]

Sudeep, this thread is about Women empowerment. We must give credit to the lady in question to handle reply in her own way if she had found anything objectionable.
If two wrongs can make a right, then as you please...
Take care

Bt Anju....dont you guys think you pay some respect toward mens who are supportive in their empowerment...... in direct means or another....or you women folks want to complete the journey of life without their support.. ekla chalo re.......seems to be the mantra of todays women.....i need to revise my statement on women empowerment now....

 

[annch]

Yes, I agree with you. However, your reaction to my post negates it.

Bt Anju....dont you guys think you pay some respect toward mens who are supportive in their empowerment...... in direct means or another....or you women folks want to complete the journey of life without their support.. ekla chalo re.......seems to be the mantra of todays women.....i need to revise my statement on women empowerment now....

 

[sudeepdular]

Yes, I agree with you. However, your reaction to my post negates it.

Anju....You should have digged up underlying humour rather than negation....Be positvie...

If you guys want to go alone then..हमारा हाथ, जगन्नाथ ! no option left...

Let’s stand united for women empowerment….. "नारी स्वतंत्रता हमारा अधिकार है पुरुषों के चंगुल से छुड़ने में ही हमारा उद्धार है." :rock

टिप्पणी : कृपया हास्य को व्यंग्य बाण न समझें!
शुभ चिन्तक - श्री श्री सुदीपाचार्य

 

[vicky84]

Dear Brahm Ji

Don't u think both the partners r equal responsible for divorce?

don't you think traditional diktats of Indian marriages were developed by only male dominating society and now they shd change with the time?

Don't you think women r also equal to man? if ur ans is yes then tell me does any man ready to take undue pressure on their individual existence then y expect this from women?

if u r talking about increase in divorce rate now a days then previous time then plz have a u look openmindedly you will understand max so called successful marriages specially in india r just to show off,for the sake of society, because of childrens or financially dependency or it could be any reason . "Rishte dhone aur dil se nibhane mai bahut phark hota hai"

I guess all those problems as mentioned in above post too r just because lack of mutual understanding b/w the couples.Any marriage only get successful if both partners r like minded, they love each others respect each other views and handle all the challenges in life with mutual understanding. all these things can happens only when both the partners r willing. No relation in this world can run smoothly if these basic things r missing.

thx with regards
Vineeta

Dear Vineeta,

I am not married yet but from my little knowledge and thoughts i would like to answer your
questions.

Don't u think both the partners r equal responsible for divorce?

Well i am not agree with you to some extent as it depends upon case to case. In some cases men
could be resposible and in others women could be responsible for the divorce. I don't want to
blame Women for this.

don't you think traditional diktats of Indian marriages were developed by only male dominating
society and now they shd change with the time?

Well Vineeta, things have already changed in the most of Urban areas, and are pending in rural
ones(But change is under way).

Don't you think women r also equal to man? if ur ans is yes then tell me does any man ready to
take undue pressure on their individual existence then y expect this from women?

Yes women are also eqaul to men.Things have changed now but the only difference is people
thinking has not been changed with the same pace.And it applies to both men and women.

successful marriages specially in india r just to show off,for the sake of society, because of
childrens or financially dependency or it could be any reason . "Rishte dhone aur dil se
nibhane mai bahut phark hota hai"

Best answer to this is the post from Akshay Malik.
http://www.jatland.com/forums/showpost.php?p=221343&postcount=62

I guess all those problems as mentioned in above post too r just because lack of mutual
understanding b/w the couples

Not agree with you. Everyone knows what is going on unless there is a Dumb case.

Any marriage only get successful if both partners r like minded, they love each others respect
each other views and handle all the challenges in life with mutual understanding.

Agree with you that both of the partners should love each other, respect each other. But,its
very rare to find the alter ego. You need to make compromises to make a marriage successful.
I am not a misogynist. Please don't get offended and sorry if i hurted you somehow or
rather.

 

[rohitmalik8]

She is not to blame at all....its her choice to live the life elsewhere if she has found her husband incompetent.....that love has lost its charm....you don’t speak up against men’s who has two wives.....and poke their nose elsewhere....if Mr. Y has guts kick that Ms X out from his life....and search elsewhere.... Compromise (widely misused) is a nice word if there is a slight possibility to revive a lost love....

Sudeep Sir,

You have questioned and answered in the same post. If you are saying that woman is not to be blamed, why are you picking up the noise against those men who have 2 wives and still looking for someone. Jahar thoda lo ya zyada baat 1 hi hai.

I am against this mentality. If women go/do wrong thats not wrong because so many men are doing same wrong things but when men go/do wrong everybody speak against him. Why this discrimination my friend?

Again I am in favor of equality and not any special treatement to men or to women. Treat them equally.

 

[anilsinghd]

"Rise in divorce cases is a worrying statistic. When a couple decides to get divorced, many lives are affected, especially if they have any children,". "


When a couple does not get divorced even when they probably should ( as Vineeta pointed out that relationship should be like "dhona" etc ) , that is also a big pain and many a lives are affected.
I have put up this statement on JL a couple of times before as well that some years back I came across a news article which put the "forced" sex in marraiges in India at a very high level ( dont remember the actual number know , but was on the right side of 50 %)! That is disturbing to say the least and even otherwise growing up , I have seen female folks suffering a lot be casue of stupid things and the level of "can't do anything" emotion is very high and keeps on increasing with time. That not a human life to me , so in that scenario I would rather not look at the "Wrong" effects of divorce but infact advice separation.
( Also useful would be to remember this :
rahiman dhaga prem ka mat todo chat kaaye
toote se fir na jude , jude gaanth pari jaaye! )

5. "Today's empowered women are refusing to follow the traditional diktats of Indian marriages.

Every change involves a stiff resistance and ultimately some sort of equilibrium , guess the women empowerment in India in urban areas is in that same stage , in some time we will see happy acceptance of the similar things by the men folk who probably do not accept this fully at this point of time. Every generation sees itself as the most unfortunate , I am no exception , I very strongly believe that my generation is probably the one who will have the maximum pains of transition ( may it be going out with friends and managing parents at the same time , be it the love vs arrange marraige , be it the intercaste marraige , be it working in India or abroad , we are the people who will always be torn and thankfully our kids would be more global and more free in their choices ).

There are basically five levels of the women's empowerment framework, namely- welfare, access, conscientisation, mobilisation and control.

Indeed a great post Akshay , and as you further elaborated in your next post , that people work to optimise their objective function ( maximising welfar e and minimising costs) , that is pretty much the essence of life.

People who do it consciously are called selfish but there are subtle actors as well and then there are those who probably themselves do not know and understand that most actions of theirs are actually driven by this objective function and their convenience!

 

[kapdal]

I believe you are not imbecile too.... How many times have you noticed NOT SO BETTER words in others posts.....just because the person against him i wrote something in my own way included in your friends list boost ur impulse to write in his favor......ohh poor Lullu has got his bully lady friend coming out in his support.....appreciated your concern lady (समाज सुधारक).....

Now you brand me imbecile i will have the last laugh....Jurman mambo jumbo....

Re Sudeep tu har jagah seeng kyun uljhaave hai? Dekh bhai main pehle to bilkul prem se hi baat karoonga (Yeh waise bhi virtual world hai koi akhada nahin ke khamkha ka hanga dikhaya jaaye. Aur aade ghana hanga bhi woh dikhaate hain jinpe asli life mein buri ban rahi hoti hai.). Anju never called you an imbecile. She said "You are definitely not an imbecile"- to be read as appealing to the better side of you. And why do you have to attach motive to her "coming in support"? Didn't you yourself say a couple of posts back that it is an open forum and you are free to write to anyone on any post? Bhai tujhe jo likhna hai nidar hoke likh, as long as you are not making any personal attacks. Be as witty as you want, or sarcastic or whatever. As long as you are not making dirty personal comments. Posting a frown smiley and posting insane personal comments like lullu are in a different league altogether. Tujhe ismain bias nazar aata hai to kisi bhi neutral aadmi se boojh liye. Aur ab tu meri friend list bhi jaanch liye aur dekh liye ki Anjoo or Anil donon meri friend list mein hain. Par na bhi hote to main same baat kehta. Aur kai jagah keh bhi rakhi hai. There are several others who see such posts with disgust and consider it wise not to engage themselves in a muddle. But their reaction is also of disgust, even if it is silent disgust. I am sure you don't want people to ignore you. So why engage in such behavior when you have so many better things to offer? I hope you see this post in a positive light.

 

[brahmtewatia]

you are right kapil, the usage of the word was derogatory nd totally uncalled for. i hope sudipacharya will take yr/our concern +vely w/o making any further fuss over the matter. appreciate anil's stand of not replying any further.

 

[akshaymalik84]

People who do it consciously are called selfish but there are subtle actors as well and then there are those who probably themselves do not know and understand that most actions of theirs are actually driven by this objective function and their convenience!

Rightly said Anil,.......but these actors and those who do not know, does know every thing but they never accept it.

 

[sudeepdular]

Re Sudeep tu har jagah seeng kyun uljhaave hai? Dekh bhai main pehle to bilkul prem se hi baat karoonga (Yeh waise bhi virtual world hai koi akhada nahin ke khamkha ka hanga dikhaya jaaye. Aur aade ghana hanga bhi woh dikhaate hain jinpe asli life mein buri ban rahi hoti hai.). Anju never called you an imbecile. She said "You are definitely not an imbecile"- to be read as appealing to the better side of you. And why do you have to attach motive to her "coming in support"? Didn't you yourself say a couple of posts back that it is an open forum and you are free to write to anyone on any post? Bhai tujhe jo likhna hai nidar hoke likh, as long as you are not making any personal attacks. Be as witty as you want, or sarcastic or whatever. As long as you are not making dirty personal comments. Posting a frown smiley and posting insane personal comments like lullu are in a different league altogether. Tujhe ismain bias nazar aata hai to kisi bhi neutral aadmi se boojh liye. Aur ab tu meri friend list bhi jaanch liye aur dekh liye ki Anjoo or Anil donon meri friend list mein hain. Par na bhi hote to main same baat kehta. Aur kai jagah keh bhi rakhi hai. There are several others who see such posts with disgust and consider it wise not to engage themselves in a muddle. But their reaction is also of disgust, even if it is silent disgust. I am sure you don't want people to ignore you. So why engage in such behavior when you have so many better things to offer? I hope you see this post in a positive light.

काँटों से दामन उलझाना मेरी आदत है दिल में पराया दर्द बसाना मेरी आदत है, मेरा गला अगर कट जाए तो तुझ पर क्या इल्जाम, हर कातिल को गले लगाना मेरी आदत है......!

pahle to tu ke kaam kar tu mare se prem se baat mat kar....thik hai... Prem chopra ya Jeevan or madan puri or classic old khalnayak kanheya lal ke tarah baat kar...amrish puri bhi chelga... bhai personal life me bahut buri chal rahi hai...mera US visa atka hua hai...dec. me interview hai wish me good luck, saala beer ke bhav 60 se 85 rs. ho gaya hai kya karega garib aadmi, Tur daal bhi 90 rs. KG ho gayi hai...its expated to go up 140...lagi padi hai bhai buri tarah se apni to..... regarding anju's comment (highlited one) already been replied with same spirit as she had written...with reference to the second last highlighted qoute….who are they who transformed themselves from valmiki to tulsidas .....its good to see they are so conscious & careful about wht to write and not to indulge in Mud slugging (btw mud therapy is good for skin)...in a way i m contributing something positive here... In response of your last highlighted quote….Do you still think ppl can ignore me…???
I am not here for any charity…to preach or give lecture…and to offer so called better things…. What better things have you offered so far except expressing your own opinion…it was good or bad who are you to decide. Do you have any jury here…

BT I like the gang of yours guys… (anil, anju, kapil) I am excluding Brahm….he is senior member and respected elder to me…(until he proves otherwise).

So any strategy guys to counter something unforeseen,unprecedented…huh…. Bt I personally liked your gang…. (Cosmopolitan mixture of boys and girl) so diverse geographically too….

Kyon na hum charoo koi game khelen....lukaa chippi....nahi nahi cricket khelte hai...i will be on batting...anju will be wicket keeper, anil will be on deep leg...and you will be bowlling with 90 km per hour. and offcourse brahm will be our unbaised umpire....plz mods. ko bich me mat le ke aana...let them watch from the stadium. then i will take all of you on joyride....

You guys are rocing:rock….you are all sweetheart… kapil tere ko gussa bhi aata hai kya yaar…anju ko to aata hai… (She doesn’t even reply to my PM’s).. m heartbrokan now

BTW game theory & linear programming were my fev. topics.

 

[sudeepdular]

you are right kapil, the usage of the word was derogatory nd totally uncalled for. i hope sudipacharya will take yr/our concern +vely w/o making any further fuss over the matter. appreciate anil's stand of not replying any further.

Kapil is always right, brahm. The usage of the word was derogatory nd uncalled for. Sudipacharya will take all this into account positively. Hope you are not biased

भवदीय!

श्री श्री सुदीपाचार्य

 

[brahmtewatia]

काँटों से दामन उलझाना मेरी आदत है दिल में पराया दर्द बसाना मेरी आदत है, मेरा गला अगर कट जाए तो तुझ पर क्या इल्जाम, हर कातिल को गले लगाना मेरी आदत है......!
...
bt i like the gang of yours guys… (anil, anju, kapil) i am excluding brahm….he is senior member and respected elder to me…(until he proves otherwise).
...
you guys are rocing:rock….you are all sweetheart.

kapil is always right, brahm. The usage of the word was derogatory nd uncalled for. Sudipacharya will take all this into account positively. Hope you are not biased
भवदीय!
श्री श्री सुदीपाचार्य

श्री श्री सुदीपाचार्या जी, कांटो से दामन आप ज़रूर उलझाओ, पर ध्यान रखो की कोई उस से आहात ना हो. थैंक्स वन्स अगेन फॉर यौर स्पिरिट !
...
m also made of same flesh nd blood, so pardon me if i prove otherwise (i'll try not to). i can also assure you of 'no complaints' on behalf of the gang you mentioned... you'll always find them as per right expectations... guess me too shud keep my भाषण's in check now.

that's the spirit !!! Appreciated.

 

[sudeepdular]

श्री श्री सुदीपाचार्या जी, कांटो से दामन आप ज़रूर उलझाओ, पर ध्यान रखो की कोई उस से आहात ना हो. थैंक्स वन्स अगेन फॉर यौर स्पिरिट !
...
m also made of same flesh nd blood, so pardon me if i prove otherwise (i'll try not to). i can also assure you of 'no complaints' on behalf of the gang you mentioned... you'll always find them as per right expectations... guess me too shud keep my भाषण's in check now.

Sun withdraws its rays from the earth in the evening; fisherman withdraws its fisherman net from ocean.
I withdraw my remarks….