shailendra
New member
...Joy & Dreams!
It is a dilemma that women members should be able to answer much better (obviously!), from both the married/unmarried side of the aisles …
But I thought that some are unfortunately confusing dreams/aspirations/quality of one’s own personal joys with maybe ‘feminism’ and bra-burning marches!
The two things are not the same issues here (I presume) that the author may seem to be wondering about…
What is that a person (be it a man or a woman) want, that brings them a full mental/personal satisfaction at the end of a full day? [If one can answer that with full sincerity and truthfulness, then folks…that’s it. Period!]
And within those ‘joys’ could fall all kind of scenarios, some of which have already been aptly mentioned here: Finding happiness watching the 'saas-bahu' serials (wait; it was Simpsons) in the warmth of your home, enjoying with your kids & watching them grow up every minute of the day, looking after the hubby/his needs and being that strength behind the successful man, attending kitty-parties w/ your homemaker warrior friends, or just those happy-hour weekend parties, thrills of being in the middle of corporate wheeling/dealings, AND/OR a combination of all the above… (or of course, the smaller permutation/combinations of some of the above)!!!
In fact who said that a woman cannot keep the career on a bit of a hold while the kids start going to school full time (and that’s when even those saas-bahu serials are not gonna help out much!) that one cannot start picking up where they left off?... Or (nowadays another big reality) work off from home? (And I mean I know even of instances where the husband worked off from home, got the kids to/fro from school and helped the wife go back to college finish off some higher/specialized training and then she proceeded to go to work!)…
So in short; it is not such a ‘this way or the highway’ scenario as most seem to be pointing out!
In fact, it HAS to start with that ‘Individual’ choice; You need to be truthful to yourself first and foremost… Don’t drop your dreams and little joys (like that back to part-time/full time work, wanting to go learn painting/water colors, that cake baking class, piano/singing/dancing… etc. etc.) just because one thinks that would mean the sacrifice of so many other things… you gotta realize, that where there is a will- there is a way!
Once that is clear in one’s own mind then you approach the wonderful institution that is marriage with frank discussions… and compromises… and ‘mutual’ decisions with your partner…
[Contrary to belief, we are a progressive race now… and reminds me of a pet peeve about how men may unfortunately still be mostly perceived as some typical Neanderthal Man (from Brahm’s sexually explicit graphic!
)…]
Ask your better half (if he really is one, that is) if he thinks he can support that ‘I always wanted to…’ thingy of yours, (simply because you would rather really go for that simple personal joy rather than see yourself one day sitting at home watching a re-run of the movie ‘The Bucket List’ with a wad of tissue papers!)…and chances are he would make those adjustments, in his time and help with yours to make your dreams come true!
[And that folks, is the choice, (and on a lighter note)… cause either that or when you are screaming/participating in that ‘we want our equal rights’ march
… chances are there would 'he' be too…standing with a placard, in the back of that milling crowds of angry men, that explicitly says, ‘Iron the shirt…B**ch!’ ]
It is a dilemma that women members should be able to answer much better (obviously!), from both the married/unmarried side of the aisles …
But I thought that some are unfortunately confusing dreams/aspirations/quality of one’s own personal joys with maybe ‘feminism’ and bra-burning marches!
The two things are not the same issues here (I presume) that the author may seem to be wondering about…
What is that a person (be it a man or a woman) want, that brings them a full mental/personal satisfaction at the end of a full day? [If one can answer that with full sincerity and truthfulness, then folks…that’s it. Period!]
And within those ‘joys’ could fall all kind of scenarios, some of which have already been aptly mentioned here: Finding happiness watching the 'saas-bahu' serials (wait; it was Simpsons) in the warmth of your home, enjoying with your kids & watching them grow up every minute of the day, looking after the hubby/his needs and being that strength behind the successful man, attending kitty-parties w/ your homemaker warrior friends, or just those happy-hour weekend parties, thrills of being in the middle of corporate wheeling/dealings, AND/OR a combination of all the above… (or of course, the smaller permutation/combinations of some of the above)!!!
In fact who said that a woman cannot keep the career on a bit of a hold while the kids start going to school full time (and that’s when even those saas-bahu serials are not gonna help out much!) that one cannot start picking up where they left off?... Or (nowadays another big reality) work off from home? (And I mean I know even of instances where the husband worked off from home, got the kids to/fro from school and helped the wife go back to college finish off some higher/specialized training and then she proceeded to go to work!)…
So in short; it is not such a ‘this way or the highway’ scenario as most seem to be pointing out!
In fact, it HAS to start with that ‘Individual’ choice; You need to be truthful to yourself first and foremost… Don’t drop your dreams and little joys (like that back to part-time/full time work, wanting to go learn painting/water colors, that cake baking class, piano/singing/dancing… etc. etc.) just because one thinks that would mean the sacrifice of so many other things… you gotta realize, that where there is a will- there is a way!
Once that is clear in one’s own mind then you approach the wonderful institution that is marriage with frank discussions… and compromises… and ‘mutual’ decisions with your partner…
[Contrary to belief, we are a progressive race now… and reminds me of a pet peeve about how men may unfortunately still be mostly perceived as some typical Neanderthal Man (from Brahm’s sexually explicit graphic!
)…]Ask your better half (if he really is one, that is
) if he thinks he can support that ‘I always wanted to…’ thingy of yours, (simply because you would rather really go for that simple personal joy rather than see yourself one day sitting at home watching a re-run of the movie ‘The Bucket List’ with a wad of tissue papers!)…and chances are he would make those adjustments, in his time and help with yours to make your dreams come true! [And that folks, is the choice, (and on a lighter note)… cause either that or when you are screaming/participating in that ‘we want our equal rights’ march
… chances are there would 'he' be too…standing with a placard, in the back of that milling crowds of angry men, that explicitly says, ‘Iron the shirt…B**ch!’ ]
… dunno hw far can fantasies galore nd how i was perceived. JL didn’t existed in his times or else michelanjelo wud walk-up frm his grave.