You've heard of Murphy's Law ("Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.")
Here are some new "laws", though, that you may not have heard of:
* Lerman's Law of Technology - Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary - You are never given enough time or money.
* Murphy's First Law for Wives - If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
* First Law of Living -- As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.
* The Salary Axiom - The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
* Miller's Law of Insurance - Insurance covers everything except what happens.
* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair - The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
* Second Law of Names - If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary - If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.
* The Grocery Bag Law - The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
* Yeager's Law - Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary - All breakdowns occur on the plumbers' day off.
* Lampner's Law of Employment - When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
* Troutman's Fifth Programming Postulate - If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
* Lovka's Dilemma - You never get away, you only get someplace else.
Here are some new "laws", though, that you may not have heard of:
* Lerman's Law of Technology - Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary - You are never given enough time or money.
* Murphy's First Law for Wives - If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
* First Law of Living -- As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.
* The Salary Axiom - The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
* Miller's Law of Insurance - Insurance covers everything except what happens.
* Kenny's Law of Auto Repair - The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
* Second Law of Names - If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary - If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.
* The Grocery Bag Law - The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.
* Yeager's Law - Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary - All breakdowns occur on the plumbers' day off.
* Lampner's Law of Employment - When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
* Troutman's Fifth Programming Postulate - If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
* Lovka's Dilemma - You never get away, you only get someplace else.
