Dil ki Sada

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amritameerut01

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Us ko chaha bohat magar wo mila hi nahi,
Lakh koshish ki magar fasla mita hi nahi,
Usko zamane ne majboor iss kadar ker diya ke wo,
Mere kisi sada per therha hi nahi,
Har ek se pocha sbab us ke na milne ka,
Har ek ne bataya wo tere liye bana hi nahi,
Main tamam tar koshish ke bavjood har gaya,
Aur wo use mil gya jisne use manga hi nahi.
 
amritameerut01 said:
Us ko chaha bohat magar wo mila hi nahi,
Lakh koshish ki magar fasla mita hi nahi,
Usko zamane ne majboor iss kadar ker diya ke wo,
Mere kisi sada per therha hi nahi,
Har ek se pocha sbab us ke na milne ka,
Har ek ne bataya wo tere liye bana hi nahi,
Main tamam tar koshish ke bavjood har gaya,
Aur wo use mil gya jisne use manga hi nahi.
Click to expand...

Could you please clarify it that it is written by a female for a male or vice versa or by a male for a male.
 
ygulia said:
Could you please clarify it that it is written by a female for a male or vice versa or by a male for a male.
Click to expand...

It's Poetry Yoginder Bhai but not grammer :) ..... and it's evident that it is written by a male for a female.
 
vijay said:
It's Poetry Yoginder Bhai but not grammer :) ..... and it's evident that it is written by a male for a female.
Click to expand...

So you want to say grammar is not required in order to write a good piece of literature. Poetry is also an important part of any literature and it must be written carefully.

I think no one wants to read literature (poem, story, article.....) that's full of grammatical errors.

How did you come to know it is written by a male for a female, for me it seems male to male.
 
rajivsp said:
So you want to say grammar is not required in order to write a good piece of literature. Poetry is also an important part of any literature and it must be written carefully.

I think no one wants to read literature (poem, story, article.....) that's full of grammatical errors.

How did you come to know it is written by a male for a female, for me it seems male to male.
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Rajiv Ji

Poetry have it's own rules but i never said that grammer is not essential while writing literature. And i firmly believe that poetry must follow the basic fundamentals of any languange ( in which language someone is writing :) )

I didn't saw any grammatical mistake in this Gazal ( yes ...... it is a gazal )

Well, in general i hardly debate on poetry with anyone at Jatland as i know that how many people know about poetry here ......... but you seems serious .... so let me know where and what you have some doubts regarding this Gazal ..... i would like to reply you SIR :)
 
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vijay said:
Rajiv Ji

I didn't saw any grammatical mistake in this Gazal ( yes ...... it is a gazal )
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Vijay, please see the post no. 2 from Yoginder..he has highlighted 2 lines in red..In first line the writer seems to be a female saying that 'Jisko chaha wo mila hi nahin'..same way till line 6..but in line 7 the writer says 'koshish ke bavjood har gaya' which construes that writer is male.. Hence the confusion :))
 
its the writers imagination for the girl whom he loved......"wo mila hi nahi" is used for a female.....means " he didnt got his love".....like when a couple , for whatever reason is separated from each other then the boy will say " mera pyar mujhe nahi mila"..........and not " mera pyar mujhe nahi mili"........... i hope i m able to explain it.
ygulia said:
Could you please clarify it that it is written by a female for a male or vice versa or by a male for a male.
Click to expand...
 
yaar instead of complimenting why aal of you are fussing among you:mad:

its a good ghazal and lets enjoy it instead cribbing about it?

please stop your instinct by quetioning them.

nice one Amrita
 
pnauhwar21 said:
Vijay, please see the post no. 2 from Yoginder..he has highlighted 2 lines in red..In first line the writer seems to be a female saying that 'Jisko chaha wo mila hi nahin'..same way till line 6..but in line 7 the writer says 'koshish ke bavjood har gaya' which construes that writer is male.. Hence the confusion :))
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Prashant,

Consider a male writing few lines for a female, read and analyze


case 1

option 1 : मेरे आने से पहले मेरा दिलबर चला गया :)

option 2 : मेरे आने से पहले मेरी दिलबर चली गई (??????)

case 2

option 1: मेरा दिलबर बड़ा खुबसूरत है :)

option 2: मेरी दिलबर बड़ी खुबसूरत है ( ????? )

case 3

option1: मुझे तेरा प्यार नहीं मिला :)

option2 : मुझे तेरी प्यार नहीं मिली ( ???? )




Now consider a female writing for a male

option1 : तेरी चाहत मुझे नहीं मिली :)

option2 : तेरा चाहत मुझे नहीं मिला ( ????? )


Let me know which one sounds gud.



Prashant, words also have a gender and they should treated accoodingly otherwise they sounds funny. isn't it ?
 
Hi Vijay

Your last message is enough to clear all doubts. Actually I just wanted to know how did you know that this poem was written by male for a woman where as most of us thinking its male to male. I can not debate with you on poetry, I am novice and you know a lot about it same like your command over language. I can only appreciate....

Thanks a lot

regards
 
i didn't read this thread until the last post by rajeev... i also must applaud vijay for the nice explanation, :) cos me too was of the opinion tht these lines r written by a female to a male until line 7, wch as rightly pointed out by yogi nd prashant earlier, made me also believe tht the gender did changed in line 7.

one post tht i found totally out of tune nd wud like to point out is the one below... cos i believe the compliments also have their grounds, say for example i cannot appreciate ghalib' s poetry unless nd until (1). i understand it... (2). i like it... its irrespective of the fact tht it is composed by the best SHAYAR known for urdu poetry.

this also explains who is cribbing in the thread. :)

rinkusheoran said:
yaar instead of complimenting why aal of you are fussing among you:mad:

its a good ghazal and lets enjoy it instead cribbing about it?

please stop your instinct by quetioning them.

nice one Amrita
Click to expand...
 
Now when all doubts are clear(thanks to Vijay), here is another one........this time too by a depressed male...

Na khelo mere jajbaton se,
maine halaton se seekha hai.
Meri is benoor zindagi ka,
har rang feeka hai.
Jise kahte hain Zindagi,
uska mujhe pata nahi sleeka hai.
Kabra main hain paun mere,
maut hi khusi ka ek tareeka hai.
Javaani ayi hi nahi mujhe kabhi,
maine seedhe budhapa dekha hai.
 
amritameerut01 said:
Na khelo mere jajbaton se,
maine halaton se seekha hai.
Meri is benoor zindagi ka,
har rang feeka hai.
Jise kahte hain Zindagi,
uska mujhe pata nahi sleeka hai.
Kabra main hain paun mere,
maut hi khusi ka ek tareeka hai.
Javaani ayi hi nahi mujhe kabhi,
maine seedhe budhapa dekha hai.
Click to expand...



Nice one Amrita ..... :)

Indeed seems very depressed and feeling defeated
 
Very beautiful peace of poetry Amrita ji. Thanks for sharing :) :)

amritameerut01 said:
Now when all doubts are clear(thanks to Vijay), here is another one........this time too by a depressed male...

Na khelo mere jajbaton se,
maine halaton se seekha hai.
Meri is benoor zindagi ka,
har rang feeka hai.
Jise kahte hain Zindagi.....
Click to expand...
 
Another one

Usne kaha...... tu koun hai,
Maine kaha..... ulfat teri.

Usne kaha...... takta hai kya,
Maine kaha .... surat teri.

Usne kaha....... chahta hai kya,
Maine kaha...... chahat teri.

Usne kaha....... samjha nahi
Maine kaha...... kismat teri
 
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